I didn’t like closed doors, especially, when you didn’t know what you’d find behind them. Licking my dry lips, I wrapped my hand around the doorknob and twisted it gently, so afraid of what I was going to find on the other side of the door. Was he with another woman? Is that the reason why he didn’t want to answer the door?
Please, God, don’t let there be someone else, I prayed.
However, another woman in his bed wasn’t what I found. He was alone and asleep in his bed. No wonder he didn’t answer his door, I chided myself.
“Scott,” I chuckled, “it’s time to wake up, sleepy head.” I opened up the window to my right so the sun could shine in and light up the room. When that didn’t wake him up, I went to another one and opened it up as well.
“I wanted to say good-bye to you before I left,” I continued. “I was thinking maybe we could alternate weekend visits. How about this upcoming weekend I come back here and stay? Does that sound good?”
When he didn’t answer, I turned around and placed my hands on my hips. “If this is your way of getting me to stay, you know it’s not going to work, Scott. I really want this to work out, but I’m going to need your help. Please talk to me.”
I stared at him, lying in his bed, and waited on him to move or speak … or do something. Instead, he just lied there with his back to me. Swallowing hard, I took a step closer, and another. His chest wasn’t moving and there was no sound coming from him at all; everything was silent.
“Scott,” I pleaded. “You’re scaring me.”
My breaths came out in shallow gasps as I turned the corner of his bed and got a good look at him. Gasping, I closed my eyes and fell back against the wall, trying to mute the scream that escaped my lips by covering my mouth with my hand. Nothing was going to take away the image of Scott’s lifeless body permanently ingrained in my mind. His unseeing hazel eyes were open, staring straight at the ceiling with no shred of life. And there, lying beside of his motionless body, was a pill bottle … and it was empty.
“Oh my God, Scott, what the hell did you do?” I screamed, my voice unfamiliar to my own ears. Frantically, I touched his face and immediately burst into tears when all I felt was cold skin … death. “Why?” I cried, searching his face angrily. “Why would you do this to me?”
It was only just yesterday that he was alive and telling me he loved me. Why would he want to kill himself? Backing away from his cold, lifeless body, I closed my eyes and shook my head back and forth vigorously. “I don’t understand. It has to be a bad dream. Oh, please let me open my eyes and it be just a bad dream.”
As soon as I opened my eyes, the tears blurred my vision. Unfortunately, it didn’t stop me from seeing something that would forever haunt me for the rest of my life. With shaky fingers, I picked up the piece of paper that was on his nightstand and read the words inside.
I was too late.
And it was all my fault.
Chapter One
Kate
Two Years Later
“Am I doing okay, Dr. Townsend?”
Chuckling, I rolled my eyes and tilted my head back only to be met by Luke’s mischievous green gaze and sardonic smile. “I think you’re doing more than okay, but something tells me you might have known that a couple of weeks ago,” I told him slyly, getting to my feet.
Luke Collins was my brother’s best friend, and for the past four months I’d been helping him recover with physical therapy after he broke his leg during a motocross race. From the looks of his progress I’d say he didn’t need me anymore, but he swore up and down he did.
He was twenty-five years old—the same age as me—and sexy as hell with tousled dirty blond hair and piercing green eyes. The last thing I needed was to get involved with my brother’s best friend; especially since he was the same guy that had women falling all over him everywhere he went. Still, it didn’t stop me from admiring the view of his well-toned, tanned abs as I slowly got to my feet. His dark blue gym shorts hung low on his hips, showing off that sexy ‘v’ that women loved so much on men and all I wanted to do was run my fingers through the indentions.
Luke had always come on strong with me, and in turn I’d pushed him away, knowing that all we would have was a relationship based on sex. We were completely different; I was reserved and responsible … he wasn’t. He was wild and full of life; the way I wished I could’ve lived. However, it wasn’t exactly my style to be promiscuous and party all of the time like him. There were moments when I wanted to give in, to let loose of my inhibitions and have fun, but I hadn’t given in to the temptation … yet.
I was on the border of it though.
Clearing my throat, I bit my lip and reached for my bag. “In fact, Mr. Collins, I’d say you’re more than ready to start racing again. However, I humored you and stayed on for an extra two weeks per your request.”
Luke grinned and moved closer, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind. I tensed at first, but then melted into his touch. It had been so long since I’d felt the arms of a man around me. Was I stupid to give in to him when I knew it wouldn’t mean anything to him? Closing my eyes, my skin broke out in chills as his warm breath tickled the side of my neck and even more so when his dark chuckle echoed in my ear.
“Oh, I know you knew, sweetheart, but I wanted to have you all to myself for a little while longer. The agony of having your hands on me and not being able to do anything about it was the best fucking torture ever. It makes me jealous to think about your hands all over those football players,” he said, his voice just above a whisper in my ear.
I scoffed and smacked him on the arm, bumping him with my hip so I could wriggle out of his hold. “You’re insane,” I teased. When his arms loosened, I turned around to face him; his lips achingly close. “I think you were in too much pain in the beginning to enjoy my touch, and for the most part, so are the players when I’m evaluating them. Besides, I’m sure you had plenty of women here to help you in your time of need.”
“Is that really what you think of me?” he asked. “Do you think messing around with women is all I do?”
I expected him to joke around with me like he always did, but surprisingly, he didn’t. Instead, his smile vanished and he stepped closer, minimizing the distance between us and gazing down at me with somber green eyes.
Sighing, I shrugged my shoulders and smiled, hoping to lighten his sudden change in mood. “I don’t know, Luke. I know you’re a great guy. You’re talented, funny, a wonderful athlete, and you’re extremely good looking. I also know your ways. I’ve been to your races, and I’ve seen how you are with women … and how they are with you. You’re a ladies’ man and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just the way you are. Why do you care what I think about you anyway?”
I had a feeling I already knew the answer, and by the skeptical look in his eyes he could see right through me.
“Really, Kate? You honestly have no idea? Have you not listened to anything I’ve said to you the past couple of months?” When I averted my gaze, he grasped my chin and gently held me in place. “Why won’t you answer me?”
“Fine,” I gave in, glaring up at him. “Yes, I’ve listened to you, but you were so subtle I didn’t think anything about it.”
He scoffed incredulously, “It’s because I didn’t want to come off too strong. With some people it works, but with you …” He paused to take a deep breath. “With you it’s different.”
Surprised by his words, I just stood there and stared. He didn’t even sound like the Luke I knew. It almost made me think he and my brother were playing a joke on me. Luke was the type of guy you took home for the night and had wild, passionate monkey sex with … nothing else. I never pictured him as a serious relationship type of guy, and if I was honest with myself, I had no clue if I even wanted that.
“Luke, I’m flattered, really,” I admitted truthfully. “On one hand, I would love to go out with you and have fun, but on the other, what if it changed things between us? What if one of us wanted
more than the other could offer? It would ruin our friendship.”
Smirking, he tapped me on the chin with his fingers. “No, it wouldn’t, Kate. I want just you, but if you wanted something casual then that’s fine with me, too. I can offer you whatever you want and more if you just give in to me. Trust me, it’ll be fun.”
Actually, what he offered didn’t sound like a bad idea, I thought.
For so long, I thought of others well-being above my own and never allowed myself any shred of happiness, especially with a man. I craved the intimacy, but I couldn’t let go of the guilt from my past in order to attain it. After what had happened two years ago, I felt like I didn’t deserve it; like I wasn’t worthy.
Luke gazed at me expectantly, his eyes twinkling with delight as he waited on my answer. Grinning, I gave in and nodded my head. “Okay, fine. I’m going to give you a chance. I honestly don’t think you’ll hold up the end of your bargain anyway. One date is all you get.”
Guffawing, Luke scooped me into his arms and held me tight. “I knew I could wear you down, sweetheart. You won’t regret a second of it.”
Both of us laughing, he set me down and cupped my face in his hands, his smile boyish yet completely sexy. What have I gotten myself in to? He leaned down ever so slowly and placed his lips to mine, kissing me gently. His hands caressed my back, pulling me closer, and he deepened the kiss by opening my lips with his tongue.
“Don’t leave, Kate,” he begged. “Stay.”
Before I could give in to the temptation of his touch, my phone began to ring in my bag.
“Ignore it,” he whispered, trailing his lips down my neck.
Groaning, I moved back and reached for my bag, which was sitting on the table beside us. “Luke, you know I can’t. It could be an emergency with the team.” Reluctantly, he nodded and stepped back to give me my space, his gaze heated.
Luckily, it was just my brother when I pulled out my phone. Breathing a sigh of relief, I sat down on the arm rest of Luke’s black leather couch and answered it.
“Evan, what’s up?” I asked.
“Hey, where are you? Have you left Luke’s yet?”
Trying to sound as innocent as I could, I looked up at Luke and replied, “No, I haven’t left yet. We just finished the last of his … therapy session.” Grinning from ear to ear, Luke winked and bit his lip, squeezing my ass as he pulled me back to him.
“Okay, good. Coach Harris wanted me to call and see if you could come to the stadium in the next hour or so.”
Trying to hold in my snicker, I looked over at the clock on Luke’s wall and cleared my throat. “Yeah, of course. Is everything all right? I thought he didn’t need me until tomorrow.”
“That was the plan,” he replied. “It seems our new quarterback is coming in early, and Coach wants you to look him over before practice starts tomorrow.”
Inwardly, I groaned. When I found out our team had taken on Cooper Davis as our new quarterback, I just knew they had made the worst mistake ever. He used to be the best quarterback out there, and I had to admit I was impressed with him when I read a ten page spread on him in the Physique Sports and Fitness Magazine. He definitely went downhill after injuring his shoulder.
Our team needed guidance, but bringing in someone who clearly needed help of his own definitely wasn’t going to facilitate a win for us. Not only had he been injured and traded to our team, but the guy had serious issues with being reckless, even getting into trouble for misusing drugs. I wasn’t looking forward to working with him.
“Okay,” I grumbled into the phone. “I’ll be there in about thirty minutes. Will you be there, too?”
“No, I just left, but I’ll see you tomorrow morning. Oh yeah, and tell Luke there’s a party this Saturday night with the team and that I want him there.”
Glancing up at Luke, I held the phone away from my ear and said quickly, “There’s a party my brother wants you to go to on Saturday night.”
Luke nodded and grinned. “Okay, but he’s going to have to wait until after my date. Unless you want to go with me to the party as well.”
Jaw dropping, I glared at him as my brother cleared his throat, choking in surprise. “I heard that! Please tell me he’s joking, Kate.”
I groaned and hung my head. “No, it’s no joke, and it’s not that big of a deal, Evan.”
“Yeah, for him,” he scoffed. “I don’t think I like this, Kate. He’s my friend, but the guy’s a serious player. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
He didn’t have to worry about that. Having fun with Luke was one thing, but I knew how to control my feelings. I wouldn’t get hurt unless I wanted to, and that wasn’t going to happen.
“Believe me, Evan, you have nothing to worry about. You have to trust me on this,” I told him.
Evan groaned. “Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“Duly noted. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
As soon as the call ended, Luke pursed his lips and followed me toward the front door. I had a little less than an hour to get to the stadium and I wanted to get there early so I could look over Cooper Davis’ file again.
“What does your brother need you to do?” Luke asked.
When we got to the door, I stopped and turned to face him, exasperated. “Our new quarterback, Cooper Davis, is coming into town today and Coach wants me to evaluate him. I’m really not looking forward to having this guy on the team. Do you know who he is?”
Leaning against the wall with his arms crossed at the chest, he scoffed and curled his lip in disgust. “Yeah, who doesn’t know him? The guy seriously went to shit after his shoulder gave out. I’m surprised he hasn’t been kicked out of the league with all of the problems he’s been causing. I wish you luck though. He’s a time bomb waiting to explode.”
“Great … thanks,” I remarked sarcastically. We had a couple of problem players on the team, but nothing like Cooper. We deserved to win, and I was afraid that wasn’t ever going to happen if we couldn’t get reliable players.
Luke walked me to my Jeep and opened my door for me before leaning his arms inside my window. “So … Saturday you’ll go on a date with me, right? Then afterwards we can go to the party together?”
Reaching for my sunglasses, I slipped them on and smiled. “Sounds like a plan. Give me a call sometime this week and we’ll figure everything out.”
Slowly, he leaned forward, keeping his gaze on my lips before gently touching his to mine. “I look forward to it. I just hope you’re ready for me.”
“Please,” I scoffed incredulously.
Kissing me once more, he winked and sauntered back to his front door while I started up my Jeep. Tomorrow all hell would break loose, and I had a feeling this season was going to be the most memorable one yet … and not in a good way.
Excerpt from
My Clarity
by M. Clarke
http://www.facebook.com/authormaryting
When we got home, I thought Lexy would have left, but she stayed. I headed straight for the bathroom to take care of my wound. Lexy followed behind me and leaned against the door.
“Sorry, Alex. I shouldn’t have brought you there. I thought it would help get your mind off your dad.” Her tone was apologetic at first, and then it became filled with excitement. “But wasn’t it fun?”
“I did have fun, Lexy,” I confirmed. I didn’t want her to feel bad for doing something thoughtful. “I’m glad you took me. I’ve never been to one of those before. It was exciting. But do the cops come every time?”
“No. Sometimes we get lucky. They change the location every time. The guys who were taking the money are the ones who arrange it all. Either someone ratted the location or the cops played a hunch this time. If you get caught, they’ll throw you in jail and let you out the next day.”
“How do you know?” I asked, pumping liquid soap in my hands, and then running them under the sink. Thankfully, I only had minor scratches.
Lexy gave me a sly smile and hand
ed the towel to me. “Jimmy got caught once.”
“Really?” I said, laughing as I hung the towel back on the rack. Our laughter was cut short when we went to the living room and saw Seth and Elijah walk through the door. Elijah was still huffing mad. His jaw muscles were tight and his lips were pressed in a thin line.
“Out!” Elijah was short and to the point. He made everyone jolt.
Thinking he meant me as well, I started heading to my room. I didn’t want to be around him either.
“Alex, where are you going?” he said softly, confusing me.
I stopped when he called my name. Without answering, I went to the kitchen instead and waited for him. I heard harsh whispers as if they were arguing and didn’t want me to hear, but it didn’t last long.
“Good night, Alex. See you tomorrow at work,” Lexy said.
“Good night, Alex,” Seth said next. “Go easy on her.” I heard him say to Elijah. Why would he say that?
“Bye,” I said loudly without a thought to walk them out the door.
Feeling restless, my heart hammered faster as I took out the milk carton and a bag of chocolate chip cookies. It was late at night, but I just felt like having something. After pouring milk into the cup, I took out a cookie as I watched Elijah walk in.
Though his shoulders were relaxed compared to a minute ago, I could see the worried look in his eyes, but not for long. “What are you doing?” he chuckled lightly, apparently finding humor in what he saw.
“Dunking my cookie in my milk. Haven’t you ever done that before?”
“No.”
“Then you’re missing out. Want some?” As I wondered if he would maintain his calmness, I took a bite.
“No, thanks. Not right now. I’m not a big fan of milk.” He paused for a second, dragged his hair back with his fingers, and released a short, sharp sigh. “Look. I’m sorry I got angry earlier. It wasn’t toward you. It was toward the situation and Lexy. She shouldn’t have brought you there.”
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