“Oh, so you did get sick. That’s good, but there’s two things that are worse than getting sick,” Mary told her.
“How could anything be worse than throwing up your guts?” Katie asked.
“You’ll see. Just remember you did this to yourself, sweetheart. Now you have to face your audience,” Mary told her as she pulled Katie by one leg.
“My audience? What are you talking about. I drank, then I got sick, and went to bed,” Katie told her.
“You only remember it that way. But what you don’t remember is what all happened or was said in between, the drinking and the getting sick part,” Mary replied.
“Why what did I do that was so bad?” she asked as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.
“Well, let’s see. Something about you and Mike in the barn, something or another about a loop skirt. Does that refresh your memory?” Mary asked.
Katie sat up in bed. “Tell me that I didn’t tell everyone about that,” Katie asked her.
“Tell everyone? Oh yeah, in great detail, I might add. Hell, had we let you, you wanted to show all of us how Michael had his head up your skirt,” Mary told her.
“You’re kidding. I told everyone. Oh God, how bad was it?” Katie asked.
“Pretty bad. Come on, get up and get in the shower. It will help,” Mary told her.
“What else did I say?” Katie asked her.
“Well, you pretty much spilled your guts about everything, and I do mean everything. But the worst part would be the . . . oh, I can’t tell ya,” Mary told her.
“Can’t tell me what? What did I say that was so bad?” she asked.
“It’s not exactly what you said, it’s more about what you did,” Mary finally confessed to her.
“Oh God, what did I do? You have to tell me Please,” Katie pleaded with her.
Mary reached into the pocket of her robe and pulled them out and tossed them to Katie. Katie caught them in her hand. And she knew exactly what they were.
“My underwear? But how did you get my underwear? Oh, I didn’t, did I?” Katie asked her.
“Yeah, ya did, dear. You got up on the dining room table, and you and Melissa started doing a striptease show for Mike and Rick. And if Paul and your daddy hadn’t stopped the two of you, you would have been naked in no time,” Mary told her.
“Well, thank God they stopped us. But a striptease show isn’t all that bad, or was it?” Katie asked.
“Well, not really, but as you were doing it, you were kind of bragging about what you and Melissa were going to be doing on Saturday night to your new husbands, if you know what I mean?” she told her.
“Oh my dear Lord! Please tell me that we didn’t get into a lot of details, please,” Katie asked her.
“Well, all I can say is this. You two would have made a sailor blush, okay? And we’ll leave it at that,” Mary told her.
“You’re kidding, right? That doesn’t sound like something that I would talk about. Well maybe, but not in detail,” she told her.
“Well, that is the beauty of alcohol. Drink enough of the stuff, and you really loosen up. And that’s exactly what you did. And once you got started, Melissa tried to outdo you,” Mary told her.
“Well, what exactly did I say?” she asked.
“Well, I’m not going to repeat everything that you said word for word, but some of the highlights that come to mind would be like riding the log ride and the tunnel shot. Whatever that is? I have a pretty good guesses, but I don’t need an explanation either,” Mary told her.
“Oh my god! How embarrassing!” Katie said as she swung her legs off of the bed and started to stand up. The pounding in her head intensified, and she lost her balance, falling back onto her bed. “Whoa! What was that?” Katie asked.
“That, my dear, is the alcohol that’s still in your bloodstream. You might feel it for the better part of the day, considering how much you drank last night,” Mary answered.
“You have to be joking? And what’s with this pounding in my head? Does it ever go away?” Katie asked.
“Oh yeah, it will go away in time. I tried to warn you last night, but like your dad said, you had to learn it on your own. And I guess you have, haven’t you?” she asked.
“Oh yeah. I’ve learned my lesson all right. Class dismissed” she said as she put her head in her hands and listened to the pounding in her head.
“What you need now is a nice shower, some clean clothes, and coffee,” Mary told her.
“Right now, I’d rather just go back to sleep. But I can tell that you ain’t going to let that happen, are you?” she asked.
“Not a chance. Sorry, dear. Your rehearsal is only a few hours away, so get up and get in the shower. I’ll go get you some coffee,” Mary told her.
“Okay, but can I ask you an honest question first?” Katie asked her.
“Sure, honey, what’s is it?” Mary asked as she stood in front of her.
“You and Paul . . . you don’t . . . well, you don’t think less of me, do you? I mean . . . I really acted pretty childish last night and all,” Katie asked.
Mary just looked at her. “Honey, not at all. Everyone goes through that phase in their life. I did, Paul did, and I know that your dad certainly did. We might kid you about it for a while, but that too will pass. So there’s no reason to worry about it,” Mary told her.
“Well, that’s good. I mean I’ve really come to love the both of you, and the titles of aunt and uncle aren’t just given names. I really consider you as an aunt, and it would really bother me if I thought you thought less of me,” Katie told her.
“Well, I’m glad to be your aunt. And you would really have to do something really mean for me to look at you any differently. And being mean, well, it’s just not in your character, so that will never happen,” she explained.
“Well, that certainly makes me feel better,” Katie said as she slowly stood up and gave Mary a hug. Mary returned the hug.
“Don’t you go getting yourself all worked up over nothing, okay? But you really do need to go and get in that shower and start getting ready. I’ll fetch you some coffee,” Mary told her.
“Yeah, a shower. Now, that really sounds good. Hey, so who won?” Katie asked.
“Who won what? Oh, you’re talking about last night, aren’t you? Let me think a minute . . . I think it would be a very close tie. Both of you totally embarrassed yourselves. But we’ll have to see how Melissa does this morning,” she replied.
“So did she make it home last night or what?” Katie asked.
“Did she make it home? Honey, she barely made it to the couch. In fact, I need to go wake her up too. So don’t use up all the hot water ’cause she’ll be right behind ya. Okay?” Mary asked her.
“I won’t,” Katie told her as she slowly started to make her way into the shower. Mary was just about at the door when Katie stopped her.
“Mary?” she asked.
Mary stopped and turned to face her. “Yes?” she responded.
“I just wanted to say thanks. Thanks for everything that you’ve done for us. I really appreciate it. I mean it too,” she told her.
“Forget it, there’s no need to thank me. That’s what a good aunt does, isn’t it? And besides, this is kind of fun. I mean helping you all with your wedding and all. So the pleasure is all mine,” Mary said as she opened the door and left, closing the door behind her.
Katie slowly eased her body beneath the cascading water. Mary was right—it did feel good, and she felt a lot better.
Melissa, on the other hand, wasn’t doing as well. While Katie had a drum beating in her head, Melissa had the entire marching band in hers. She sat there on the couch with her elbows resting on her knees and her face buried in her hands.
“Oh, good, you’re awake,” Mary told her as she entered the living room. Melissa just looked up at her and didn’t say a thing before she reburied her face in her hands.
“So how are feeling this morning?” Mary asked her.
�
��Terrible, simply terrible. Thanks for asking. What time is it?” she asked.
“A little past eight. So how’s your head feeling?” she asked.
“I don’t know. I’ve seemed to have lost it. God, what a night. Never again. Oh God, please stop me next time. Please,” she said as she looked up at Mary as she stood before her.
“I tried to warn you two. But you just wouldn’t listen,” Mary told her.
Melissa was just about to respond when she noticed something behind Mary that caught her attention.
“What is that? Hanging from the chandelier?” she asked.
Mary turned and looked up at the chandelier.
“Oh, those. What do you think that is?” Mary asked.
“Well, if I didn’t know better, I would say that it looks a lot like my underwear, but—” Melissa stopped herself as her eyes grew wide.
“But what?” Mary asked her.
“Oh my! Those are mine, aren’t they?” she asked.
“Yep, they sure are. Right where you left them,” Mary told her.
“Tell me, do I really want to know how my underwear ended up hanging from Grady’s chandelier?” she asked.
“Probably not. But let’s just say that between you and Katie, you both were really high-spirited last night,” she answered.
“The last thing I remember was when Katie was trying to show you all how Mike had his head up her skirt that day in the barn. Everything after that is a total blur. But my underwear hanging up there only tells me one thing. It got worse, didn’t it?” Melissa asked.
“If I had to pick just one word to describe the two of you last night, the word worse would be an understatement at best,” Mary answered.
“That bad? My head tells me the same thing. So where is everyone?” she asked.
“Well, Katie is in the shower. Paul and Grady are outside helping to build a dance floor or doing something with a public address system, and Rick and Mike are at home, I think. As for Elizabeth and little Katie, I haven’t seen them, so I take it that they’re still in bed,” she answered.
“Question. And I thought about this last night, but if the groom isn’t supposed to see the bride on the day before their wedding, how are we going to do a rehearsal?” she asked.
“I thought about that too. I’m not quite sure, but I think that Grady and Paul have that all worked out. We’ll see,” Mary told her.
“Speaking of Rick, did I say anything that really embarrassed him last night?” she asked.
“Well, besides the striptease that the two of you decided to do on the dining room table and you both giving a very vivid description of your honeymoon activities that you have planned, I would have to say no,” Mary answered.
“Excuse me! What striptease? And how vivid was my description about the honeymoon stuff?” she asked as her eyes opened wide, and she looked up at Mary.
Mary told her about the striptease and how Paul and Grady had to stop the two of them. “But as far as your description into your so-called honeymoon antics, well, it was like we were there. You’re very good with words, dear,” Mary confessed to her.
“Oh my God! How embarrassing!” Melissa said.
“That’s funny. That’s the very same response that I got from Katie when I told her. Are you sure you two aren’t real sisters?” she asked.
“Would you call the train depot? I need a ticket on the next train leaving town,” Melissa told her.
“Relax, it’s not that bad, but I will get you a cup of coffee, or would you prefer some more whiskey?” she asked.
“Oh no, you keep that stuff away from me, but I will take the coffee. That sounds good. Maybe I’ll go to California or maybe even Canada. I hear the weather up there is nice this time of year,” Melissa said as she put her face back in her hands.
“You’re not going anywhere. Besides, Rick would just follow you anyways. So ya might as well save your money and face the music here and get it over with. And look at it this way, dear, technically the next time that you’ll see Rick, you’ll be his wife. Or shortly thereafter anyways. And I really don’t think he’s going to stop the wedding ceremony just to talk to you about your whiskey exploits,” Mary told her.
“Yeah, you’re right. Maybe he just won’t show up on Saturday,” Melissa said jokingly.
“Yeah, like that’s going to happen. You really need to have more faith in your heart,” Mary told her.
“I’m just kidding. So was he mad or what when we did the bit about the honeymoon?” she asked.
“Well, if anything, I’d say that he was excited more than anything else,” Mary told her.
“Really? How excited?” she asked.
“Well, I guess you’ll just have to wait until Saturday to find that out for yourself,” Mary answered.
“Yeah, Saturday. That’s only tomorrow. Oh, this is going to be great!” Melissa said with a huge smile on her face.
“I’ll go get the coffee. Katie should almost be done in the shower by now. Remember, you’re next in the shower,” Mary said as she headed for the kitchen.
“Yeah, in the shower. That would work too!” Melissa said to herself with a much bigger grin on her face if that was even possible.
Katie was downstairs sitting at the dining room table drinking her third cup of coffee when her cousin walked into the room.
“Well, good morning, coz. Boy, don’t you look all pretty this morning?” Katie said as her little cousin sat down next to her with a bowl of cereal before her.
“Good morning to you too. I want to watch you do your wedding stuff today,” she replied.
Katie just looked at her. She guessed that nobody had told her that she was in the wedding too.
“Are you sure that you want to watch? Wouldn’t you prefer to be in the wedding?” Katie asked her.
“I know that I get to be in your wedding. I’m the flower girl. That’s why they measured me the other day,” she responded.
“Who measured you and for what?” she asked.
“Ooopppsss! I wasn’t supposed to tell you. It’s a surprise. Please don’t tell anyone that I told you. Please, it would ruin the surprise,” little Katie asked her.
“Well, okay, I guess. Gee, there are a lot of secrets going around this place,” Katie responded.
“Can I ask you a question, woman to woman?” the little girl asked as she stared up at her bigger cousin.
“Woman to woman, you say?” Katie asked.
“How about cousin to cousin since I’m not quite a woman yet?” the little girl asked her.
“Fine, cousin to cousin. What’s your question?” Katie asked.
“Well, last night, you all were pretty noisy and all, and well, I couldn’t sleep. So I just lay there listening to all of you talking, and I have a question about something that you said last night,” little Katie asked.
Katie started wondering just how much of which part of last night had she heard. It certainly was more than she should have heard. Especially since she felt that she needed to ask questions about it. Oh, God, this could be real interesting. I could use a little help down here right about now, she prayed to herself.
“Okay, what’s your question?” she asked as she took a big gulp of coffee, not really wanting to know what her little cousin had heard.
“What’s a hoop skirt? And why did he have his head up your skirt? Was he looking for something?” she asked.
The question caught Katie totally off guard. That big gulp of coffee came spraying out of her mouth. She was in total shock. Apparently, little Katie had heard far too much of the conversation last night.
Katie slammed the coffee cup down on the table and stood up with her open hand covering her mouth.
“Did I say something wrong?” little Katie asked.
It took a few moments before Katie could recapture her composure and answer her cousin’s question. She grabbed a towel and started wiping up the coffee.
“No, of course not, I just wasn’t expecting you to ask that question,
that’s all,” Katie finally answered.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you spit your coffee all over the place,” little Katie told her.
“It’s all right. But ladies don’t spit. It was more like a spray,” she said as she started laughing.
“What’s so funny?” the little girl asked.
“Nothing. I just got this imagine of me spitting my coffee all over the place. That’s all,” she told her cousin.
“But you just said that ladies don’t spit—they spray,” she answered back.
“I know. That’s what’s so funny. You saw it right? What I just did was definitely a spit, wasn’t it?” she asked.
“That’s what I would call it. But how does a woman spray? Can you show me how to spray?” she asked.
“A woman don’t spray, honey, but it isn’t proper for a woman to spit either, so I don’t know what you would call it. But what I just did with my coffee, that was a spit,” Katie told her.
“You’ve got me all confused. You spit your coffee out, then you called it a spray. Now you’re calling it a spit again. So which one was it?” little Katie asked her.
Katie made a quick scan of the dining room.
“Katie, did your uncle send you in here to get back at me for last night?” she asked.
“No, why would he do that?” she asked.
“Just because he’s Uncle Grady, that’s why,” Katie answered.
“Are you okay? You’re acting really weird. Should I go get my mom?” she asked.
“No, I’m fine really. But enough with the spray and spit stuff okay? Just forget that I said it. Now about your question regarding the hoop skirt—”
Melissa walked into the room.
“Katie, are you telling your hoop skirt story to your cousin? Boy, you did have too much to drink last night, didn’t ya?” Melissa told her.
“No. I mean, yes. No, I mean. Okay, yes, I had too much to drink last night, and no, I’m not telling the hoop skirt story to my cousin. But she heard us talking last night, and she asked me what a hoop skirt was among other things. So I was explaining it to her,” Katie told her.
“Okay, I guess. Good morning, Katie,” Melissa said as she rubbed the top of the little girl’s head as she walked by. Melissa soon returned with a cup of coffee and sat down and took a big gulp of the hot beverage.
Hearts of Grey Page 47
