Seeing her cry had broken my heart. Of course I wanted to do something. I had the money. Yeah, I’d told Lacey that she could pay me back but that was just to give her options. Truthfully, I had no wish for her to pay me back. I also, despite what Lacey seemed to think, didn’t want her to think of me as some sort of hero.
Not because I had money, anyway.
As much as I wanted us to sit down and have an actual conversation about what an idiot I’d been by turning her down, I didn’t want to buy my way to Lacey’s heart. But as angry as she had been with me, I couldn’t take it back. I wouldn’t take it back. She loved Vega. Losing her would be devastating.
How could I be wrong for trying to stop that?
I’d got Lacey’s hint of not trying to come over the next morning. It was probably for the best. Honestly, I found it a little frustrating just how annoyed Lacey had been with me. I didn’t get what was so wrong in what I’d done. To me, it showed that I cared for her, which I did.
If anything, the whole thing made me realize just how much I cared for Lacey. Knowing that she was annoyed with me physically ached in my chest. Despite it, that pain was incomparable to how much my heart had hurt to see Lacey cry. I didn’t want to ever see her so sad.
“So was I that wrong? I just wanted her to be able to keep Vega,” I sighed once I had explained the situation to Luke. I’d lured him over with promises of food. But so far all I’d done was mope around.
Luke stretched his feet out, making himself more comfortable on my massive couch. “I don’t know if I’m the right person to ask,” he muttered. And I knew that Luke hadn’t had a lot of relationships. He didn’t actively avoid them like I had, but he’d never seemed to stay with any woman for very long.
“Obviously, it was a nice thing to do,” Luke agreed. “But… I guess I can sort of see why she might feel weird about it?” He made a face, like he wasn’t terribly convinced.
He shrugged. “I mean, it’s basically a gift, right? Even though you’re not paying her, you’re paying for her to keep her dog. And ten grand is a lot of money.”
Not to us, not really. But I did understand that it was a lot of money to Lacey. And to Harlan.
“People get weird about gifts that they can’t hope to reciprocate. I mean, how would you feel if some CEO paid ten million for you to keep Teddy?”
“Grateful,” I replied instantly.
That was part of what I just didn’t get. Lacey didn’t seem particularly grateful. I didn’t expect anything from her. I hadn’t even wanted her to know because I worried she might take it the wrong way. A worry that had clearly been well placed.
“I’m just frustrated,” I sighed. “I don’t... All I wanted was for Lacey to be able to keep Vega, to be happy. She shouldn’t feel like she needs to give Vega up when I can afford to pay for her.”
“Did you tell her that?” Luke asked. “I mean, in those words?” I wrinkled my nose, trying to remember. A lot of the fight we’d had seemed to have slipped out of my mind. All I could really remember was Lacey’s tone. And my own frustration.
When I didn’t answer, Luke carried on. “I mean, I don’t know her. But it’s hard to imagine that someone would be annoyed at you for wanting them to be happy.”
It seemed so obvious to me that I’d bought Vega because I wanted Lacey to be happy. But I couldn’t say for sure that I’d explained it that way to her.
“I don’t know,” I sighed. “I feel like I did. She accused me of wanting to be a hero,” I told Luke with a frown. “But honestly, I did ask her ex to not tell her why he’d changed his mind and was going to leave Vega with Lacey. I don’t want anything from her for this.”
The truth was that yes, I had gone over to see Lacey so I could tell her how much of a fucking idiot I’d been. How I wanted her to ask me out, I wanted to say yes. But me buying Vega for her wasn’t so she’d do any of those things.
Shaking my head, I gave a shrug. “I understand, in principle, that having a sort of stranger drop 10k for you seems a lot, but... It’s not a lot of money for me. How do I express that to her without sounding like a dick?” Then again, I wouldn’t spend that sort of money just for everyone.
Luke looked almost panicked at my question. The look of awkward shock made me laugh, lifting my spirits a little. At least I wasn’t alone in not knowing how to explain my actions to Lacey without sounding bad.
“I don’t know,” Luke muttered. “I mean, I get that it’s not a lot of money for you. But I don’t know how you explain it to Lacey without her getting a job in the NHL.” And given that I’d had to teach Lacey to skate, I knew that wasn’t going to happen.
After a pause, Luke offered, “Could you tell her some of the other things Pumas have spent that kind of money on? Maybe if she sees the kind of shit we buy, she’ll realize that it’s the kind of money you can part with without making it into a huge decision.”
He winced. “Though, I can already see how that might backfire.”
I mean, so could I, but Luke’s suggestion still made me laugh. He definitely had a point. Neither of us were into spending money on ridiculous stuff, but there were a lot of people on our team who were.
“Didn’t Alfie spend like four grand on a coffee machine? And he doesn’t even drink coffee!” I shook my head. It wasn’t an awful suggestion even if I felt like Lacey probably wouldn’t love me comparing how irresponsible NHL spent their money to me buying her dog from her ex.
Reaching for the beer I’d set down, I took a swig. “Honestly, it’s probably the best ten grand I’ve ever spent,” I commented truthfully.
Luke frowned so hard that it looked like it might hurt. “What? Why? It just made her mad at you!” And yeah, I guess I could see how it looked that way from Luke’s perspective. He hadn’t seen how heartbroken Lacey had looked over having to say goodbye to Vega.
“I thought you’d be regretting it,” Luke added. “I mean, not the money so much. But you spent money and you got shouted at. How is that a good investment?”
While I totally saw where Luke was coming from, I thoroughly disagreed with that assessment. “Because she gets to keep Vega,” I answered easily. Did I want Lacey angry at me? No, of course not. But if that was the price for making sure she got to keep Vega? That and ten grand, then that was worth it.
Obviously, I didn’t want Lacey angry at me forever. Even that mattered less than making sure she got to keep the dog she loved so much.
“I just want her to be happy,” I told Luke honestly. It struck me just how true that was. “Ah, fuck,” I sighed. “How has she made me feel like this?” I asked before waving my hand dismissively. “I know you can’t answer that.”
“I really can’t,” Luke agreed, giving me a look. I laughed. “But I think you just worked out what you should say to get her to see where you were coming from.”
He waved a hand at me. “Just tell her that. That you want her to be happy, no matter what it costs you. That sounds fucking romantic.”
And, I realized, it really did. If Lacey appreciated romance as much as she said she did, could that be the way to get her to understand that I hadn’t meant any harm?
“I mean, as long as you do want to date her. You do, right?” Luke asked.
That made me smile.
“Yeah, yeah, I want to date her.” I nodded.
Hearing Harlan say he’d come back to her, leaving me thinking that I’d missed my chance, had been a real wake up call. I didn’t want Lacey to be something I missed out on. I was stupid, but I wasn’t that stupid.
“Right,” I announced. “Enough about me. Tell me about all the delicious foods you’ve learned to cook,” I told him, laughing when Luke groaned dramatically.
Tomorrow, I’d see Lacey and try to explain again. Tonight, Luke and I were going to have some delicious food and not think about relationships.
The next morning I headed over to Lacey’s. I’d thought about texting her first to check if she still wanted me to walk Vega, but that would give
her a chance to say ‘no’. She could still say that, but she’d have to say it to my face. I trusted my skills at talking in person more than I did talking over text.
Despite my original confidence, anxiety spiked the closer I got to Lacey’s place. I didn’t want her to tell me to fuck off. I wanted to explain myself, try to convince her that it really didn’t matter how much money I spent for as long as she was happy.
Luke had seemed pretty sure that would work and, well, I didn’t think I had much to lose.
I hesitated before knocking on Lacey’s door, but only for a little bit. Despite my anxiety, I was also excited. I was always excited to see Lacey.
Finally, I did knock.
I expected to be greeted with a bark. When there was no sound, I felt a sudden wash of fear that maybe Lacey had let Harlan take Vega after all.
But when she pulled the door open, Lacey didn’t look heartbroken. She looked… a little nervous, her cheeks pink. She’d obviously prepared for me to come, because she was actually dressed and not still in pajamas like she usually was so early in the morning.
“Hey, I’m glad you came,” Lacey said, stepping back. “Come in? I bought breakfast food.”
That was not what I had expected. Not that I knew what I had expected but this sort of hospitality was not it. I nodded, letting Lacey invite me in. Vega rushed over and I felt a lightness in my chest at the sight of her. Reaching down to pet her, I gave Lacey a smile.
“I’ll come for as long as you want me to,” I told Lacey. That hadn’t always been true; I had definitely avoided coming over after we slept together but... things had changed. At least for me, they had.
I let Lacey lead us to the kitchen where the promised breakfast was. She offered me a cup of coffee that I accepted happily. “So... what have I done to earn breakfast?”
Lacey brushed her hair back from her face. I longed to follow the movement with my own hand - but I held back. This wasn’t the time for a gesture like that. I wanted to talk to Lacey first. And I was glad it looked like she was letting me.
“I’m… sorry,” Lacey said softly. My eyes widened. “I don’t want to make excuses, but I hadn’t exactly had a great day when I last saw you.”
My heart ached at the reminder of Lacey sitting on that park bench, her whole being so dejected and unhappy.
“I should have said thank you. Even if I thought buying Vega without asking me was wrong, I should still have let you know that I appreciated that you wanted to do something nice for me.”
It almost felt like she’d heard my conversation with Luke. But I didn’t think that she needed to apologize. I understood that for Lacey it was important that I asked her first, even if I seriously doubted she would’ve let me spend that sort of money on her. But that hardly meant that she didn’t deserve it.
“You don’t have to apologize,” I told Lacey truthfully. “I... Okay, I can’t lie and say I’m sorry for offering Harlan money to let you keep Vega because I’m not. Lacey, I just...” I thought back to what Luke and I had talked about. Whatever I’d said before, I had to do better. I wanted Lacey to know why I’d done what I’d done.
“I just want you to be happy,” I sighed.
The way Lacey frowned at me, I suddenly knew I hadn’t communicated that to her in the middle of our fight. Maybe she hadn’t been in a place where she could listen and understand. Or maybe I just hadn’t expressed myself clearly.
Whichever it was, Lacey was listening now. “That’s an awful lot of money to spend on just making someone happy, Will,” she said, almost gently.
“Especially someone you haven’t known for long. It’s not as if I’m… special to you.”
I almost laughed.
Honestly, Lacey had so quickly and unexpectedly become someone special to me. I didn’t know how but she had. And spending ten grand to make sure she was happy was so easy. I’d spend a lot more if that’s what it took. But at the same time, this wasn’t about money.
“You are pretty special to me, Lacey,” I told her softly. “That’s what... that’s why I came over yesterday. I wanted to talk to you about... us. But then Harlan was here and... I asked him if he’d come back for you,” I admitted. “And he misunderstood me, said he had, meaning Vega. I thought... I thought I was too late. That I’d fucked up so badly that I no longer had any chance.”
Lacey’s lips parted, a soft ‘oh’ escaping before she pressed her jaw closed.
She frowned again, her lovely brown eyes narrowing at me. “That doesn’t make it right, you know,” she pointed out. Crossing her arms across her chest, her lips twitched like she was trying to stop herself from smiling.
Was that a good sign? “Even if I were your girlfriend, I still wouldn’t want you to make decisions for me. Do you understand that?”
I tried not to let my heart skip a beat at Lacey saying she could be my girlfriend. Even in this scenario, I found myself excited by the prospect. God, what had she done to me? I’d never wanted to be anyone’s boyfriend before. With Lacey, I could hardly imagine anything better.
“It was never my intention to make a decision for you,” I told Lacey honestly. “I just... fuck, Lacey, seeing you cry made me want to fix it. And I could. Yeah, I get that it seems like a lot of money but it’s... not. Not for me. Not for Vega.”
At the mention of her name, Vega bumped her head against my leg. I reached down to pet her. “Are you going to keep her?” I asked. I really hoped Lacey would. Even if she stayed angry at me forever, she deserved to keep Vega.
Lacey looked down, her eyes suddenly bright. I hoped she wasn’t going to cry again. Her lower lip wobbled slightly, but she seemed to hold herself together. It was all I could do to keep from flinging my arms around her. I doubted that would be appreciated right now, even if I wanted nothing more.
“I want to keep Vega,” she said, coming close enough that she, too, could run a hand over Vega’s back. “I love having her here with me. And I take good care of her. With your help.”
She glanced up. “Yesterday, I worried that I couldn’t look after her without your help. And if that was true, then maybe I didn’t deserve to keep her. But I think I would do it. Even if you didn’t run with her every day. I would make the time. And on the days that I couldn’t, I would get someone else to do it for me. Even if I had to pay them.”
With Lacey so close now, I could practically feel the heat of her breath. My hand moved from Vega’s head to her back, fingers finding Lacey’s so I could brush my hand over them.
“You are perfectly capable of looking after Vega,” I told her gently. “But I like helping. I enjoy taking Vega for a run, both because she’s fun but also... well, you see, every morning when I come to pick her up, I get to see you.” And it was truly one of the best parts of my day.
Again, Lacey’s lips parted slightly. This time, the soft intake of breath was followed by a ghost of a smile. Even as small as it was, it brightened Lacey’s whole face. It lightened my heart to see it.
“That’s very… sweet,” Lacey said quietly. “And I like seeing you every day, too.” Her fingers slid between mine, turning so Lacey was stroking my skin more than she was stroking Vega.
Tingles from the brush of Lacey’s fingers danced all the way up my arm, exploding in my chest. “You really wanted to fix it when you saw me crying?” Lacey asked. “That was why you went to find Harlan? Because you didn’t want me to be unhappy?”
“Yeah,” I answered, a soft laugh escaping me. There wasn’t anything more to it. Yeah, sure, I wanted to fix things with Lacey. I wanted to tell her how stupid I’d been. But when I saw her cry? All I wanted to do was fix it. To make her not sad.
Taking a step closer, I ran my hand up Lacey’s arm. Vega took it to mean that it was time for her to leave, not very bothered by what we were doing. I cupped Lacey’s face, my tongue darting out to wet my lips.
“I want to always make sure you’re happy, Lacey. Whatever it takes.”
This time, Lacey’s smile was so bright
it was blinding. Her hand lifted to cover mine, her fingers trembling slightly. I hoped it was just butterflies, exploding inside Lacey the same way they were zipping through my whole body.
“That’s an awfully romantic thing to say, Will,” she teased. My heart lifted, glad that she felt comfortable teasing me again.
She leaned in, so close that her breath brushed against my throat. “Would you like to have a meal with me some time?” she asked. “As a date, I mean.”
“There’s nothing I’d like more,” I told Lacey honestly. That’s what my answer should’ve been the first time around. Whatever my reservations were, I was willing to take a risk for Lacey. She deserved me being willing to take a risk. “And you can pay for it,” I added with a grin.
Lacey laughed, making my heart soar. I didn’t let her give a witty reply, even though I was sure there was one. Instead, I leaned down to kiss Lacey, my tongue licking its way into her mouth.
She pressed her body to mine, reminding me of that first time I’d kissed her on the ice. There was firm ground under my feet now, but I still felt the tingle of excitement that I’d experienced that day.
Her tongue teased against mine, brushing across my nerves before withdrawing. I groaned, wanting to hold Lacey close and never, ever let her go.
“Then I suppose we can start with breakfast,” she informed me, pulling back enough to gesture at our untouched coffee and protein bars. “After that, we’ll see where we are.”
That sounded pretty great to me. I kissed her again, more briefly this time. Hopefully, we’d have more time for kissing. And I was pretty keen on having a coffee and a protein bar in between my kisses.
Chapter Sixteen
Lacey
Over coffee, Will suggested that my breakfast could count as our first date. My scandalized reaction was only half pretend. Breakfast in my kitchen, no matter how many kisses we shared, did not count as a date. And definitely not as a first date.
Body Checked (Salt Lake Pumas #2) Page 15
