by L E Royal
With one last smile and half a wave, Parker fumbled the keys into the ignition and started her car.
At the end of the driveway, she glanced back in the rearview, surprised to find Kristina still there, watching her car, as it turned and left onto the street.
FOR THE FIRST time in what she’d realized was over a year, she’d woken up and gone for a run. Once upon a time she had been an addict. Pounding the pavement as the sun rose had been as vital as her morning cup of coffee, but like so much else, in the monotony of her marriage, her life, that passion had been lost too.
Parker felt sluggish, slow, already struggling and barely a quarter of the way around what had once been her easy route, but she forced herself to go on. She had found something, a little piece of herself in her long-forgotten running shoes, and with every step she took, she saw more clearly just how much she had let slip away.
What wasn’t so clear was Kristina. If it hadn’t been for the small gray-scale business card lying on her nightstand when she woke up, she might actually have believed she’d dreamed the whole thing.
Marion had called four times, and Parker had ignored every single one because she had absolutely no idea what she was going to say.
Yes, it went great, we hardly talked at all, she got me off without even taking off my clothes—oh, and she’s sixteen years younger than me.
Part of her was scandalized by her actions, and part of her was impressed, excited. All of her felt guilty.
She puffed out another exhale, trying to control her breathing, studiously ignoring the stitch that was digging a hole in her side. A woman passed by in the opposite direction, her pace far more punishing and her face far less red than Parker knew her own was by now. When did I become this?
Her body had always been slim and toned. Long after Amanda stopped caring to look twice, Parker had maintained it that way for her own benefit. When did I stop caring about myself?
She was embarrassed to admit part of her sudden urge to run again was due to Kristina. Maybe once upon a time some of the things the girl…woman…had said might have been true. Parker had never been short on people to dance with, drink with, date in college; she was beautiful and she’d known it. Soft blonde curls and big dark eyes, fair skinned despite the Miami sun. She used to be sensual, sexual, confident, but somewhere along the way, all that had faded, like so much else.
Kristina was the last thing she had expected. The whole situation made Parker uncomfortable. Being called “sweetheart” by a twenty-four-year-old made her uncomfortable, yet when they…were together, she had no idea how else to describe what they had done. She hadn’t felt belittled or mocked, just… Sort of free?
She’d promised herself last night was it. It would be a one-time thing, a mistake, a story she and Marion would laugh about once in a while. Now, she wasn’t so sure.
For the first time in months, years, she was out, moving, and although she was confused, she was something. For the first time in so long she was living, breathing, conscious in her own life.
I have to stop running.
She dropped back to an unsteady walk and rested her hands on her hips, trying to open up her chest and get more air into her burning lungs.
Her phone buzzed against her hip. She was too breathless to talk, but she knew who it would be.
She was close enough anyway. Talking a left, she forced herself to power walk the block and a half to Marion’s house.
LiLing answered the door surprisingly quickly after Parker knocked.
“Lily…” She had barely breathed out the affectionate nickname before LiLing replied.
“Parker! My lovely wife was just on her way out to check on you. Roland and I were going to head to the park.”
LiLing offered her a smile, beautiful as ever with her straight dark hair and almond-shaped eyes.
“Guess I saved her a trip.”
Parker stepped through the door as LiLing stepped back, and was greeted by an armful of excited six-year-old.
“Auntie Parker!”
She hugged him to her leg, conscious of the fact she was covered in now-dry sweat from her pitiful attempt at a run.
“Hey, buddy! Mama says you’re going to the park this morning?”
He prattled to her excitedly. She remembered the day Marion had told her they were going to try for a baby. She remembered holding Marion’s hand while she showed her the Chinese donor they had found, in the hopes the baby would look something like both of them and share LiLing’s heritage as well as her own. It had worked out perfectly.
“She lives!”
Marion interrupted from the doorway, and Parker offered her an apologetic smile.
“All right, sir, let’s get outta here and leave these ladies to their talk.”
LiLing ushered Roland out. Parker watched them leave down the walkway, hand in hand, a pang of something snapping in her chest that she tried not to name. Amanda had never wanted kids, but Amanda hadn’t even wanted her, not really.
“Hey.”
Marion’s voice was soft from behind her, and there were two mugs in her hands. Parker followed her back through to the living room and plopped gratefully onto the towel that had been set for her on the sofa.
“So… What was she like?”
She laughed as her best friend sat down beside her, eager.
“She was beautiful, and intense, and young…”
Marion’s eyes were like lasers, tracking her face, categorizing every reaction.
“Young… Okay, we’ll get to that, but tell me first… Did she…empower you?”
Parker almost choked on her coffee.
“Oh my God, Mar.”
“Let me live vicariously through you… So she did then?”
She was beginning to flush.
“We didn’t have sex, but she did um…”
Hiding her head in her hands, she explained the whole encounter in the vaguest way possible.
When she finished, Marion was looking at her reverently.
“Without even touching you?”
“I mean… She was touching me just…”
“Without even taking off your clothes?”
Parker nodded.
“I… The situation was very…charged, and it’s been a little bit—”
“Oh my God, Parker, it’s been forever. But that is just…” Marion’s awe had morphed, and she looked positively gleeful. “So how young is young?”
Parker took a deep breath.
“Young enough that when I got there I was waiting for her to introduce me to her mother and leave so we could have our meeting.”
Marion winced.
“She’s twenty-four.”
Something shifted on Marion’s face. “How old is Amanda’s resident—Emily, is it?”
Parker nodded. “Thirty-one, I believe.”
Marion was smiling at her, smug, and she couldn’t help but smile along.
“God, stop, Amanda isn’t paying Emily for the privilege.”
“Are you paying…your…”
“Kristina,” Parker supplied. “And no, not directly. I paid the agency who matched us. She does this because she likes it.”
Marion sat back, and Parker saw her thinking, turning it all over. Half of her was eager to hear her best friend’s conclusions, while the other half almost didn’t want to know.
“So you get there, have the realization you’re doing this with a twenty-four-year-old, then she gets you off without removing a shred of your clothing and sends you on your way with her card to think about things.”
Parker cleared her throat.
“That’s the bare bones of it. We did talk a bit while she was…”
“Empowering you?”
She shot Marion a glare.
“I may have freaked out a bit at her age and tried to leave. She asked me to stay for fifteen minutes and then… She said all this stuff about how I deserved to be—um…” She was sure her face was beet red.
“Tell me.” Marion was
sitting forward in her seat, coffee cup clutched in her hands. “Parker, close your eyes and say it fast.”
This was something they had started long ago, back in their college days, when they were embarrassed to share something. It had been their ritual ever since.
“It was something like… You deserve to be…” Parker squeezed her eyes shut and spat the words out quickly. “Fucked, taken, worshipped, pleasured endlessly.” She took a deep breath. “She said I’m attractive and powerful, and she just…”
Finally able to open her eyes, she looked down at the coffee cup in her hands.
“I know it all sounds like a big joke, but I… It felt real. She told me I was attractive and a little part of me started to believe her. I think it’s why I went for a run this morning. I want to get back to that, to feeling…confident and you know? Caring about myself.”
When she looked up, Marion was smiling at her.
“It doesn’t sound like a joke. It sounds like progress!”
Parker swallowed, uncomfortable.
“When are you seeing her again?”
She shrugged guiltily.
“This woman told you everything you have been needing to hear and somehow made you start to believe it, she has you out running, and she gave you a mind-blowing orgasm without taking off your clothes, but you didn’t call her back? What the hell is wrong with you?”
They laughed.
“What’s on your mind, P-bear?”
The old nickname surprised her, and the softness in Marion’s voice cracked her open.
“I feel guilty. Is it weird that I’m doing this? What if the…domination stuff is bad or awful? I’m almost old enough to be her mother, and what could she even see in me? She’s young, beautiful, obviously wealthy…”
“Parker.” Marion stopped her, a hand on her knee. “Don’t ruin this for yourself before it’s begun. Take it for what it is, a way to kick-start some change in your life. Don’t get attached; just enjoy it for now.”
Parker nodded. I can try.
“And as for the age difference, who cares? Who is going to judge you, and since when does it matter anyway? You didn’t care that half the freaking city knew Amanda was cheating on you for years.”
She shot her best friend a dark look, and Marion held up her hands in apology.
“I’m just trying to say, forget it. Forget what people think, and forget whether her attraction to you makes any sense. It felt real, right, when you were together?”
Parker nodded.
“Just explore it. Just…let yourself have this.”
“I know, I know.”
Marion pulled her in for a hug, and she felt better than she had in days. With her perfect family, when all Parker had was her broken marriage and a woman almost half her age who apparently wanted to dominate her, Marion was easy to envy. Yet in moments like this, she was even easier to love. She let her chin rest against Marion’s shoulder.
“Let myself be wild.”
Chapter Three
IT WAS WEDNESDAY before she finally contacted Kristina, a short email asking to meet again and agreeing that she’d like to explore things. They’d set a meeting for Friday night, Kristina offering to pick her up.
It had seemed like a good idea at the time, arranging to meet at the little café a block away from her house where she sometimes came on the weekends to do her grading. Somehow, she wasn’t ready to have Kristina at her home.
Now she was waiting, palms clammy and nerves tying her stomach in knots, she really wished she hadn’t chosen a place where the staff were so familiar.
Joel, one of the servers, had been trying to talk to her for the better part of fifteen minutes, and she knew she was doing a horrible job of holding up her end of the conversation.
“Ah, Miss Parker!” He smiled at her from behind the bar. “Your ride?”
He gestured out to the street, and her heart flipped. That was Kristina all right.
“Yes, sir. You enjoy the rest of your night, okay?”
He nodded, and she left a ten-dollar bill under her empty mug. She smoothed the strands of loose hair around her face. Though her heart still beat hard, she felt better than last time. Her new sexy jeans hugged her hips, and the shirt she had chosen clung in the right places. She felt good.
She knew nothing about cars, but whatever Kristina was driving it was expensive, mirror-black, top down, the chrome lettering on the bumper proclaiming it Spyder. Her brother would love it… God, she couldn’t think about Ethan right now.
She stepped up to the passenger door, eyes falling on Kristina who was looking down at her cell. Her dark hair hung straight around her shoulder that was left bare by the cutaway shirt she wore. Tight jeans hugged her legs, disappearing below the steering wheel.
“Kristina?”
When Kristina looked up, something flashed in her eyes, though it was gone too quickly for Parker to recognize it.
“Parker.” She looked genuinely happy to see her. “Hi, get in…”
She leaned across, popping the door open, and Parker tried not to let her eyes linger on the wonderful view she got directly down the front of her shirt. Was it getting warmer as the sun went down?
“How are you?”
She looked young, her makeup less heavy than it had been last time they met.
“I’m good, glad it’s Friday.”
Kristina agreed politely.
“I thought we could go back to my place for dinner and go over everything?”
Parker nodded. “Absolutely.”
Kristina was biting her lip, watching her, all the intensity that had been there last time still living in her dark eyes.
“Okay.”
All the breath squeezed out of Parker’s lungs as she leaned across the console, her heart beating painfully in her chest as she wondered if Kristina was going to kiss her.
Kristina reached up past her shoulder, grabbed her seat belt, and then she was moving away, tugging the strap across her body. The back of her hand brushed the side of Parker’s breast, and Parker blushed as her breath caught audibly. How did I forget my seat belt?
“There…”
Kristina was still close, closer than necessary, and when Parker raised her eyes to meet her dark ones, cheeks burning, Kristina had her bottom lip between her teeth.
“Ready, sweetheart?”
Will I ever stop being utterly disarmed by her?
Parker nodded. The nickname was beginning to rankle less than it had at first.
They pulled away from the curb, and within ten seconds Parker was gripping the edges of her seat tight. Kristina gave meaning to driving it like you stole it, and not for the first time Parker wondered who she was. She was obviously wealthy, sexually experienced, and in an odd situation for a twenty-four-year-old. Parker made a mental note to ask her over dinner, assuming she survived the drive.
Traffic wasn’t terrible for a Friday night, and they made good time through the shopping district, the sun dying prettily over the sea, visible down some of the side streets as they passed. Parker let her mind wander. The thrill of anticipation still danced in her chest. She had written down so many questions in her planner this week, yet she knew the minute those eyes were on her, she was going to forget them all. Kristina was quiet, focused on the road. Parker guessed she would have to be, driving like she did.
They skidded to an abrupt stop at a light. Kristina turned to her, a smile on her face. Before either of them could speak, the thud of bass interrupted, growing closer until it was pumping out from the vehicle stopped directly beside them.
Parker turned to see huge tires, looking up and up until she saw a cab, windows down, at least three men in the truck all looking right back at her. The cat-calling started.
“Parker.” Kristina had to yell to be heard. “Don’t look at them; look at me.”
Parker did, cheeks burning. They probably thought she was Kristina’s mother.
They idled a few seconds longer, and the attempts to get eit
her of their attention became more insistent, yet with her eyes on Kristina’s, Parker noticed them less and less.
“Can I kiss you?” Kristina asked.
She looked at Kristina dumbly for a second, watching something devious play at the corner of her mouth. She was magnetic. Swallowing hard, she nodded.
Kristina reached across the console. Soft fingers skirted the side of her throat, leaving a trail of sparks in their wake. They settled at the back of her neck, guiding her forward, holding her in place, and then Kristina was leaning in, her lips so gloriously close, barely a breath between them. Suddenly brave, Parker closed the gap.
Kristina kissed the same way she had touched her, so sure and so absolutely consuming. Lips pressed long and firm over her own, a tongue brushed them, and then it was in her mouth, teasing, tasting. The kiss felt like it went on forever, and like it ended too soon. Parker was reaching up to twist her fingers in silky dark hair, to pull her impossibly closer, when a car horn honked from behind them.
If Kristina heard it, she didn’t care. Teeth nipped soft at Parker’s lip, before another light kiss soothed the bite. When she pulled away, Parker was breathless.
Her eyes were black, shining. Parker expected them to flit to the men in the truck, still stationary beside them despite the green light, yet they stayed on her, studying her, watching her, burning her up.
The honking was getting louder, a discordant choir of impatience.
With one last smirk, Kristina turned back to the road, and the car lurched forward.
With heat on her cheeks and that kiss still dying on her lips, Parker looked behind them in the side mirror. The truck was still parked there.
She laughed, joy and freedom and a little bit of disbelief ringing in the sound. When was the last time I felt so…alive?
They pulled up to Kristina’s house not long after. Once they were inside the three-car garage and the purr of the engine had died, she found herself nervous, scrambling for something to say. Kristina beat her to it.
Somehow she was already up and out, around the car and opening the passenger door for her.
