“Not ASU?” she breathed.
He shook his head. “Sorry, sweetheart. I was hoping to hear from them, but time is getting short. I’ve all but given up on them.”
Her eyes filled up with tears. “Are you serious? Please tell me you’re joking, Pierce.”
“I wish I was. I’m ready to graduate and I need to move forward with the biomedical engineering program.”
“So what does this mean for us?” she choked out.
He sighed heavily. “It means that we’re going to have a difficult semester. There’s no way to get around it. I’ll try to come back to visit you at least once a month.”
“You’ll try?” she said derisively. “That sounds like a convenient way of opting out of a commitment when it gets to be too tough.”
“Getting a little dramatic on me again, Noelle? Come on, everything will work out. We’ll get through the fall semester and then you’ll be able to go wherever you want after that. You said yourself that you wouldn’t limit your teaching options to Arizona.”
“I know, but it would take me a while to certify in whatever state I end up in.” Her voice gave out as the tears fell.
“Listen, Noelle. It’s only five months. We’ll both be so busy that it’ll fly by.”
She said nothing. Pierce waited for her to speak but was disappointed when no words of encouragement came. “Noelle?” he prodded.
Her voice came out sounding shaky. “Why did this have to happen, just when I was starting to become comfortable in a relationship again? I should have known better than to get mixed up with you. Everybody kept telling me that you were a guy who couldn’t commit to anybody.”
He didn’t appreciate that comment at all. With effort, he modulated his voice to deflect any hint of the frustration he was feeling. “Noelle, listen to yourself. I’m not walking out on this relationship. But this is a great opportunity for me and I need to take it.” He waited another second before adding, “I’m sorry, sweetheart. But this is what we need to do right now. It won’t last forever.”
“Maybe not, but what about us? Am I ever going to get a forever kind of guy?” she asked bitterly. “Or will I always be the girl that every guy chases only to be ditched when he becomes bored?”
“I am not ditching you,” he replied starkly. “It’s one lousy semester, Noelle.”
“And then what?” she cried.
“And then you find a teaching job close to me.”
“So we can do what?” she demanded. “Continue the way we are? No, thank you!”
“Noelle, be reasonable. You need to stay here to finish your degree. And I need to go so that I can get started on mine. It’ll be tough, but we’ll make it through.”
But Noelle was already shaking her head in rage. “I am not going through this again! I am tired of being sacrificed for someone or something else. So you can just take your acceptance letters and do what you want with them. Good-bye!”
She stormed off down the sidewalk. Pierce watched her go, waiting for the moment when she would remember that he had driven her here. What would she do?
To his relief, she didn’t keep walking. She slowed down when she got close to his Explorer and waited for him to approach. Wordlessly, he unlocked the vehicle and they climbed in. The ride back to the apartment complex was tense, the silence unbearable. When he pulled into their parking lot and parked the car, he tugged on her arm just as she yanked on the door handle with the other. “Noelle, wait. Please don’t be mad. This isn’t something that I can control. Will you pray about it, please? Ask the Lord to give you some peace over it?”
“Does our relationship matter to you, Pierce?” she asked quietly.
“Of course it does.”
More silence followed. Pierce waited, fearing that she would bolt before the matter was settled if he pushed too hard. Finally, she answered, her voice sounding moderately calmer. “I will pray about it if you will too. Maybe accepting either of those letters isn’t the right thing for you anyway.”
He had no clue where she came up with that harebrained idea, but he wasn’t going to force the issue. “We’ll both pray about it and talk it over. How does that sound?”
After a while, she agreed. “Okay.”
He released the breath he’d been holding. “All right. Take as long as you need to pray. We’ll talk about it when you’re ready.”
She nodded mutely. Gingerly, he reached for her chin and pulled her face toward him to kiss her good night. She whispered, “Good night,” and slipped out the door. Pierce’s chest was heavy as he locked the Explorer and went inside.
Pierce couldn’t get Noelle’s forlorn expression out of his head. With all of the questions that were churning inside his head, competing for his attention, Noelle’s question plagued him the most.
And then what?
What would happen to them after she completed her teaching degree? How important was she to him?
Even if their relationship, which was still new and exciting and uncertain, survived the long distance for the five months he’d be gone, what would happen then? The only way he could see her sticking around was if he married her. Was he ready to take such a momentous step in his life?
Pierce had always felt that he wasn’t marriage material. But now he knew what he was missing. Noelle had breathed some life back into him. He’d been like a dying plant inside. Everything lay dormant. And then she had come along with her witty banter and easy smiles, and he’d grown new leaves, green and fresh and vibrant. He wanted what the Levingtons had. He’d also seen it in Noelle’s parents and her brothers and their wives, a special kind of love that lasted forever because they were also best friends. Up until tonight, he’d felt that he and Noelle had that special connection. Maybe he was only kidding himself.
A light knock sounded on Noelle’s door. “Hey, sis. Do you have a minute?”
Noelle looked up as Melody walked into her bedroom and sat down beside her on the bed. She swallowed hard. She’d known that she wouldn’t get away with hiding out in here. But after Pierce had left, she hadn’t been in the mood to deal with anyone else and had hoped that her roommates would get the message. Melody, however, was immune to her sister’s tantrums but incredibly in tune with Noelle’s moods. She was also blissfully in love. Not a good combination for Noelle.
“What happened?”
Struggling to keep fresh tears at bay, she explained, “Pierce is leaving me for greener pastures.”
Melody’s jaw dropped and her face turned white. “Oh, Noelle. I’m so sorry,” she whispered in horror. “Who’s he dating now?”
“No one. But he’s been accepted into a post-graduate program out of state. And I can’t go with him because I’m scheduled to do my student teaching.”
Melody visibly relaxed. “That’s not so bad. It’ll be all right. The semester will go by fast, you’ll see.”
“You’ve doubted Pierce’s sincerity all along, Melody. And now it looks like you’re right. Why would Pierce hold onto our relationship when it would be so easy for him to walk away? What is there to keep us together?”
“Your love for each other.”
“No offense, Melody, but you’re looking at the world through rose-colored glasses right now. Why this sudden vote of confidence in Pierce, anyway?”
Melody stared down at her lap. When at last she raised her head, her eyes were brimming with tears. “I’m sorry, Noelle. I never should have said those things about Pierce. I was listening to Kasey Hamilton. Brianna McCray stayed late after the bridal shower to tell me that she’d had enough of listening to Kasey brag about deliberately misinforming me about Pierce. She said that Kasey was claiming that she’d tried hard to trap Pierce into a compromising position so that he would propose to her. As Kasey put it, she wanted to capture the ‘elusive Pierce Logan.’ ”
Noelle gasped in horror. Thank goodness for Brianna McCray. “Wow! And when she spread that vicious lie about us around the institute—”
“She was trying
to get even with Pierce for shunning her,” Melody cut in sadly. “Remember when Pierce called Kasey delusional?”
Noelle shook her head in confusion. “No.”
“It happened right before Valentine’s Day after you and Chase had gone running. Hannah asked Pierce if he was planning on taking Kasey on another date and Pierce responded that Kasey was delusional if she thought he would.” Melody’s voice was contrite. “Well, I’m sad to say, Noelle, that I told her what Pierce said. But I honestly didn’t think she would do what she did. I’m very sorry and hope that you can forgive me.” Melody’s eyes clouded over.
Noelle hugged her. “Thank you for telling me, Melody. It’s sad, really, the lengths some people will go to make life miserable for others.”
When they pulled apart, Melody was biting her lip. “Speaking of making life miserable for others, I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you more. You’ve always been my little sister and it’s been hard for me to realize you’re all grown up and I need to relinquish the role of big sister. And Chase did his fair share of placing the blame on Pierce. In fact, I knew that Chase had warned Pierce against dating you, but I had no idea that he threatened Pierce in order to get on Dad’s good side. That talk Chase and Pierce had in Gilbert seemed to be a turning point for him.”
Noelle chuckled. “That’s because Pierce stood up to Chase and let him know that he wasn’t going to allow him to cast suspicion on us any longer.”
Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, Melody answered, “I think Chase learned his lesson. When I discovered what he’d done, we argued about it. We almost broke off our engagement, Noelle.”
Noelle gasped. “You did?”
Melody nodded succinctly. “That was why Chase wasn’t at Chevelon Canyon with us. He didn’t have to work but we’d fought over his dishonesty. I wasn’t sure if I could marry him, knowing what he had done to you. But we’ve worked it out—for the most part anyway. He still needs to apologize to you. He knows I’m expecting him to do that.”
Noelle took a moment to digest this news. At length, she decided, “Whether he apologizes to me or not, I’m okay with that. But for the sake of your future happiness, I hope he will.”
Melody smiled serenely. “Good. We’ll hold him to it.” Noelle answered with a smile of her own before Melody continued, “But in the meantime, I want to let you know that I was really impressed by the way Pierce defended your honor. He’s gallant.”
“A regular knight in shining armor, huh?” Noelle said caustically.
“He really is,” Melody contended emphatically. “He treats you with such love and respect. Think of his leaving as a true test of your relationship. Maybe both of you need this time apart so that your love for each other can grow stronger.”
Noelle didn’t like that argument any more than she’d liked Pierce’s. As much as she wanted to stay mad, a small part of her grudgingly acknowledged that maybe Melody was right.
Acknowledging it to herself was a much easier task than acknowledging it to Pierce. They’d called an uneasy truce by the time Pierce drove Noelle home from a fireside the next night. Noelle knew that she couldn’t avoid the subject forever, but she didn’t know how to deal with it. She’d been putting off praying about it, fearful of the answer she might receive. Or might not receive. Sometimes life was so complicated.
TWENTY-FOUR
I’M LOSING HER, Pierce thought as he sat in his room, trying to concentrate on his homework. Pierce could feel it. The weight of this dilemma was sitting like a rock on his chest. Two weeks had passed since he and Noelle had had their disagreement and still nothing had been resolved. Every time they were together, she built a wall around herself that Pierce couldn’t climb. He didn’t know what to do to help her come to terms with this. It was only five stupid months, for crying out loud!
What then?
The question hounded him day and night. At a time when he should be preparing for finals, he couldn’t garner the desire to do so. He couldn’t afford to fail his classes, either, so he resolutely opened his textbooks once again, wishing that he could figure out the answer to this problem. The Lord had been silent on this issue so far.
Noelle and Melody had left this morning for Gilbert because Melody was being given a bridal shower on Saturday morning. The two sisters had become a lot closer lately. While Pierce was thankful for that, he wished that he could hold Noelle in his arms and give her the reassurance she needed. But she wouldn’t even talk to him about it. He hadn’t seen her this despondent since Chase had broken up with her.
He knew that Noelle was deliberately pushing him away in an effort of self-preservation. She’d been burned twice. Hadn’t she told him repeatedly that she didn’t want to go there again? And he’d assured her that he would never do that to her. It seemed that the only way he could get that through her head would be to show her.
Forget the homework. He slammed the textbooks closed and stuffed them into his backpack, ignoring the curious look Garret was sending his way. “See you later.” He stormed out the door with one destination in mind: what he’d come to think of as “their bench” at Wheeler Park. A quiet place to sit and think.
Fifteen minutes later, he was breathing in the clean air and listening to the birds calling to each other. It was peaceful here. He hadn’t enjoyed a whole lot of peace in his life lately. Pierce closed his eyes and thanked his Heavenly Father for bringing Noelle into his life and presented his dilemma to Him, asking for an answer.
He was startled to hear his phone ringing as soon he ended the prayer. Looking at the caller ID, he saw that it was his dad. He didn’t really feel like talking to his dad right now, but he answered it anyway. “Hello, Dad.”
“Hi, son. How are you doing?”
He heaved a sigh, wondering how much he should tell his dad. The two of them had been talking more often lately. He’d kept his dad up to date on his academics but had only given him tidbits concerning his personal life. “I could be better,” he admitted.
“I hear you there. What’s going on?” Jared asked conversationally, easing Pierce’s tension.
Before long, Pierce found himself telling his dad about his and Noelle’s courtship, if that was what he could call it, from the time they came back from California. Jared listened without judgment, occasionally asking pertinent questions. Halfway into his story, Pierce realized that this was his dad he was talking to and that they’d never had a conversation of such a personal nature other than the one they’d shared in San Diego. When Pierce finished his explanation, Jared asked the most important question of all.
“Do you love Noelle, Pierce?”
Love. A word that didn’t come easily for Pierce. He’d recently told both his parents that he loved them. However, saying it romantically to a woman was something he’d never dreamed of doing. But he suddenly wanted to find Noelle and tell her. Make sure that she knew with certainty that he wanted her to be his for eternity. His throat had all but closed up on him. His voice came out sounding gravelly to his own ears. “Yeah, I love her, Dad.”
“Go after her. Don’t give up on her. She needs to know that you’ll be there for her. Don’t make the same mistakes I did, Pierce.”
He flinched, hoping that he hadn’t offended his dad just when they were establishing a bond. “I didn’t mean to insinuate anything—”
“Believe me, Pierce, nothing you say could possibly make me feel any worse than I already do for those years when I ignored you. I’ve even talked with my bishop about it and he’s helping me to learn to forgive myself. But I want you to understand my point. Please don’t let pride and fear get in the way of your eternal happiness, son. I’ve been down that road. I lost my family. I don’t want to see the same thing happen to you.”
He’d been lamenting the same thing. Only he’d feared it happening further into the future, much like his parents’ experience. But it was happening right now. The Spirit whispered to him that he had a chance to change it for the better.
Suddenly, he
knew what to do.
“I’ve got to go now, Dad. Thanks for calling me. It really helped.”
“I have a confession to make, Pierce. You’ve been on my mind a lot lately. Even though I knew it was a prompting from the Spirit that something wasn’t quite right, I almost talked myself out of not calling you for fear that you wouldn’t be open to hearing any advice from me. Please forgive me.”
Pierce couldn’t see past the moisture in his eyes. Tears were as foreign to him as hugs and flowery words. Noelle’s tears, he could deal with. But his own . . . oh, man, he was in trouble. After he’d composed himself somewhat, he replied, “There’s nothing to forgive. You called at just the right time. Thanks, Dad. Take care.”
“Will do. Same to you.” When they ended their call, Pierce looked at his phone, noting the time. They’d talked to each other for over an hour. That was a new record for them.
Later that evening while driving south on I-17, Pierce called Noelle but she didn’t answer. Calling thirty minutes later, he started to panic when she didn’t answer again. Maybe she had already decided to call their relationship off. He left a message. When he called a few minutes later, she answered, sounding breathless. “Hello?”
“Noelle?”
“Hi, Pierce. Sorry about that. I could hear my phone ringing, but I couldn’t find it.”
I ought to put a tracking device on it, he thought irritably. “How are you, sweetheart? Did you and Melody make it down okay?”
“Yes. We’re home. How’s everything in Flag? Did you get any studying done?”
Not as much as he’d wanted, but life hadn’t exactly gone the way he’d planned lately. This interruption from studying for his finals was the icing on the proverbial cake. But he wasn’t ready to reveal that yet. “Some. So what are your plans for tonight? The bridal shower is tomorrow morning, right?”
She heaved a sigh. “That’s right. We’re getting ready to leave for Lori’s house, though, so we can put up decorations.”
Pierced by Love Page 21
