by Tara Brown
“I got you a present. So it won’t just be crap under the tree for me and nothing for you.”
“Oh shit, I don’t have anything for you.” Now I feel like a jerk.
“It’s fine.” She shakes her head. “Just stay. I can send a car for your gifts.”
“I won’t have any.” I laugh. “My family is in Italy. They’ll Facetime and say happy Christmas and tell me they sent me some chocolate or something. Honestly. We don’t do the gift exchange anymore. It stopped when I was about fourteen. It was too hard being away from everyone for hockey and school and none of us hung out. So we canceled the gift exchange. Now we send each other chocolates from wherever we are.”
“Smart,” she says as she fights a yawn. The eating and talking and joking have worn us both out. I’m bagged from the last couple of months of constant playing and in need of a couple of days off. “Please, just stay. I hate being alone on Christmas.” She hits me with the eyes again. I can’t fight her when she gives me that look.
“I hate being alone for it too. I’m assuming you have a guest room?” It’s not that I don’t want to sleep with her. I honestly just need sleep. Her lying next to me will send mixed signals to my cock about what my body is capable of doing. And there is no exhaustion enough to stop me from wanting to fuck her, broken face or not. Tandy already proved my dick isn’t broken.
“Yeah. I’m scared of hurting your face again.” She’s been giving me the same pitying look for hours.
“Me too.” I offer up a sheepish grin. “If you don’t mind showing me the way to my room, I’m going to hit the hay now before I pass out. I have to ice my face and take a shwack of drugs too.”
“Okay.” She turns and walks for the stairs instead of the front door where we were.
I can’t believe she wants me to stay. I can’t believe we just had a civil meal filled with warmth and conversation and realness. She is exactly what I thought she was. The expression on her face in London came back a hundred times tonight as we discussed our lives. We carry the same wounds and fears. Abandonment mixed with a lack of compassion and love, leaves scars, even on the rich and famous.
“So we didn’t kill each other.” I nudge her.
She glances over, flashing a grin. “No. We used our big people manners and everything.” Her smile dies. “And we got very uncomfortable. I hope you won’t tell anyone what I told you. I haven’t even said those things to Nat.”
“I’ll keep your secrets with my own.” I don’t tell her I hate who she is to the world. “I like the quietly vulnerable side of you.” I try to keep it positive.
Her eyes widen. “I don’t know about quiet. I’ve never talked this much, not even to Linda.”
“Who’s Linda?”
“My shrink. She’s rooting for you.” She giggles and takes the first step, hurrying like she wants to get away from the conversation. Halfway up she turns back with her lips parted like she might say something, but her eyes narrow. “Are you staring at my ass?”
“Yes. Yes, I am.”
“Really? I thought we just made a pleasant friendship down there, and you’re degrading it?”
“Yes.” I smile wide. “It’s a nice ass. It pairs nicely with that wine and our new friendship.”
“No.” She glares and turns back around to take the stairs. I continue to stare at her ass as she climbs.
“Still a great ass.”
Her answer comes over her shoulder as double middle fingers followed by a subject change, “No one ever sleeps in here. I hope the bedding isn’t stale and the bed isn’t shit.” She takes me to the obvious guest room, opening it for me. It resembles a suite in a fine hotel.
“I sleep in different hotels so many times a month that I forget what my bed feels like. Trust me, this will be fine even if it’s shit. I’m used to it.” I step to her, brushing my abs against hers. I savor the feel of her chest pressing against my stomach. “Thanks for dinner.”
“Thanks for dessert. It was delicious and I’m going to get that recipe for the chef.”
I reach up and tuck a curl behind her ear. “I like you. The real you. Not the shell. I like who you are when no one else is here.”
Her lips part and her eyes shine but she says nothing.
“Goodnight, Sami.”
“Goodnight.” She swallows hard and steps back. She’s so pretty I can barely take it.
She turns and walks down the hall and I can’t help but say one more thing, “Where’s your room?”
“Why?” She glances back and scowls.
“In case I decide I can’t stay away.”
“But we just got to the friendship zone. Why ruin it with sex?” She flashes me that smile, the one that makes my stomach tighten. I swear, staring at her lips hits me in the dick every time.
“We can do both.”
“Then I guess you’ll have to come find me.”
“I might.”
“Maybe I’ll be ready for you, Beast.” She saunters off with a wave. “Have a good sleep.” There’s extra swagger in her hips as she rounds the corner.
I almost follow her but the throbbing in my nose suggests I won’t keep up with the promises I’m making myself.
It’s hard to close the door and get ready for bed. It’s harder to get into the bed. I want to be charming in the pursuit of her but I’m in agony. Kissing was such a mistake.
Chapter Sixteen
Methy Christmas
Sami
When I was a kid sleeping in on Christmas was impossible. I would lie awake and wonder what Santa had brought Nat. Her gifts were never as expensive as mine but they were more personal. She got things like a telescope or a keyboard. They were fun. When my parents told me about Santa it made so much sense. He’d always given me expensive gifts, whereas Nat always got cool things.
But even after they told me, I continued to be excited about Christmas. I was still pretty young when my parents spent their first Christmas away. That was when I stopped caring so much.
But because Nat grew up this way, her gift giving is also thoughtful. One year she gave me a painting she did herself. It was digital art that had taken her six months to perfect. It didn’t cost anything but time.
My parents never gave gifts like that. They paid to relinquish themselves of having to spend the time. My mom used a personal shopper. She didn’t even buy my presents.
That was when I learned the value of someone’s time over the value of a dollar.
Time last night with Matt was amazing.
I regret everything I said, not because I was my usual ass self, but because I gave everything of myself away. He makes me uncomfortably naked without taking a stitch of clothing off, and I have never been more proud of myself.
I couldn’t sleep because of it all, tossing and turning all night, and when I did finally sleep, the dreams weren’t the sort you walked away from.
I wake in the morning wanting more of Matt. A lot more.
At seven in the morning, I throw in the towel and get up, flinging on my robe over pajamas, and saunter down the stairs.
His gift is already under the tree. I put it there the day after he asked me to have Christmas Eve dinner with him. I had the gift flown over the moment I knew we’d be spending Christmas together.
The thought of that stops me on the stairs.
After everything we’ve discussed, I can admit it.
I like him. I more than like him. I want to see the normal side of his family and date him and be me around him because he’s comfortable now, like Nat.
Nat!
It’s finally my turn to wake her up on Christmas morning.
I grab my phone and call her, hoping she’s not awake. This can be my gift from her.
“Hello?” she groans into the phone.
“Merry Christmas.” A smile spreads across my lips as I sit on the stairs and wait for it.
“Why are you calling so early? It’s still dark out.”
“Get up and go see your gift.” She is
the person who taught me that giving is better than receiving. Watching or even listening to her get a gift is the best.
“No. Sami, it’s like seven in the morning, on a holiday. Are you just getting home from your date with that Matt guy?” The smile on her lips is obvious when she speaks.
“Nadia! She told you?” I gasp.
“It was my Christmas present from her.” She giggles.
“You’re a dick!” I’m so relieved she knows I can’t even be angry.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because you were sad, I didn’t want to rub my possible happiness in your face.”
“You better stop, Sami Ford, or people will see you’re not the evil little princess you try so hard to be.”
“Shut up. I’m still an evil princess.”
“I guess so, since you’ve gotten creative this time, girl.” She stretches and yawns and makes me wish I were there so we could slumber-party gossip about it.
“Creative with what?”
“Ways to piss your dad off.”
“This isn’t like that. I don’t want anyone to know about this until we figure out what we are to each other. I slipped the staff an extra five grand for Christmas to ensure discretion.”
“You don’t think Daddy Dearest suspected you might do that and offered them ten grand to spy?” She moans. “My gift to you is a warning: he knows. They’re telling him everything, I guarantee it.”
“That’s all you got me?” I pout. My dad likely did do that. At least the staff got an extra fifteen thousand dollars.
“No. Go look under the tree, there’s something else. I’ll throw on my robe and go look at mine.”
“Hurry up!” I stand and walk downstairs to the tree we left on after dinner.
There’s something magical about a lit tree on Christmas morning with presents underneath. Even though the presents are few and far between. One from Nadia, one from Vincenzo, one from Nat, one from Carson, and a card from my parents. The rest of them are for friends who I’ll see during the holidays and a few family friend ones I have yet to deliver with my winning Ford family smile. The tiny package for Matt stands out. Nadia wrapped all the gifts for my friends with expertise I don’t have, so the fact I wrapped his shows.
Grabbing Nat’s gift, I am lost on the contents of the box. It weighs a ton for the size. “Are you in the living room yet?” I ask impatiently.
“No. God! I barely have my robe on. I need some speed to catch up to you.”
“Hurry up!”
“Good morning.” Nadia strolls into the room with a large mug as I listen to Nat grumbling about her house. Nadia smiles wide. “Merry Christmas, Sami.” It’s so much better since she dropped the “miss.” It only took a year of me forcing my name on her.
“Merry Christmas, Nadia!” I jump up and give her a hug as she sets the mug down. Her hug is wooden but her smile is warm. I quickly hand her the gift I got for her. She opens it and beams at the Chanel purse. I’ve seen her eyeing up mine tons. “You shouldn’t have. This is too expensive.”
“I’m glad you like it. But look inside.”
“There’s more?” She scowls and opens it. Her jaw drops and tears fill her eyes. “No!”
“Yes!” And there it is, the reason for the season. I love Christmas like a giant fucking cheeseball and this is why I love seeing this exact look on someone’s face.
Her lip trembles as she lifts the ticket to France with the full itinerary of destinations and prepaid hotel rooms and tours.
“You are a very naughty girl.”
“You were so bummed when you couldn’t go to France last year.”
“Thank you.”
“Merry Christmas.”
“You’re still a bad girl.” She wipes her eyes and exhales one quick breath. “Anyway, Mr. Brimley stayed the night?” She cocks a dark eyebrow, her eyes still glistening.
“He did.”
“Interesting.” She grins, clutching the new purse, and leaves the room. “I’ll tell Cecilia we have an extra guest.”
“Thanks,” I say to Nadia but continue to listen intently into the phone for the moment Nat has her gift. I lift the mug of coffee, catching the hint of Baileys in my first sip. Our tradition since I turned fifteen.
“Okay, I have it. Why’s it so light? Jesus, did you just give me cash this year?”
“You’re an ass. I’m opening mine now.” I tear into the package she placed under my tree at some point in the last couple of weeks since we decorated it.
A wide smile spreads across my face as I see the very thing I have always wanted: a glass chess and checkers set done in pale pink and light turquoise. “Oh my God, where did you get this?”
“Do you like it?”
“I love it!” She is the only person in the world who knows me. “It’s perfect. Did you get someone to make it?” I lift the tiny pieces and inspect the carving and note it looks like it’s made from sea glass.
“Yeah, this guy at my school carves with glass and makes it look like sea glass. He frosts it and rounds the edges. He makes the awesomest wind chimes. When I saw them I asked if he made other stuff and he said he could create anything. So I got him to make it.” She sounds so proud.
“Best gift ever, Nat. I need a hug after this one. Can’t you just come out? I’ll send the helicopter. We could play a couple of games of checkers.”
“No, crazy pants. I have to have dinner with the herd. I can’t believe you won’t be here. And because of a boy. I am shocked. You and Brimstone. I’ve only suspected forever.
“I wonder why they call him that?” I change the subject.
“I don’t know.” She laughs. “I’m opening mine now.” The paper tears delicately as the tape is slowly pried away. She always unwraps like she might reuse it. It’s annoying. “Oh my God, Sami! What the shit?”
“What?”
“This is way too much, for God’s sake.” She protests but the excitement is in her voice when she lifts the invitation into the air. “A Lumineers private concert? Are you kidding me right now?”
“No.” I need to see her face. “Switching to Facetime.” I press it and wait for the connection.
She holds the invitation up, beaming. “You’re a shit. Why can’t you give normal gifts?”
“This is a normal gift.”
“No, normal is a scarf or a sweater or a chess set—”
“Anyway,” I cut her off with a groan. “I talked to their manager and he says they won’t be touring for another couple of years. So I arranged a little something. Apparently, the band has always sort of dreamed of playing at the Musikverein in Vienna because of acoustics. So I got them the hall and arranged for the stage and sound to be handled if they just show up. They’ll meet us there on New Year’s. I’ve sent out private invites to a thousand of our closest friends, and the band had to be allowed to invite a hundred people, which I said was cool. So now it’s all arranged. We’re all staying at the Hotel Imperial. It’s right next door to the Musikverein, and they have the best butler service in all of Vienna.”
“You mean the most discreet butler service.” She rolls her eyes.
“That too.”
“I actually thought I had you beat this year.” She sighs and stares at the gift. “But this is a top-notch gift. Not only do you have the money to pull off big gifts, you also have the connections to make the impossible happen. But the most important part of a perfect gift is the heart. And believe it or not, Sami Ford, you have the heart. Thank you.”
Blinking away the tears that are forming, I wave my hand. “It’s not nearly as good as yours. And it’s a selfish gift. I wanna see the Lumineers too.” I smile. “The chess and checkers set is perfect. I really love it.”
“I know you do. We’re both incredibly thoughtful.” She sighs. “Now tell me about the important stuff like Brimstone and how this happened and why you kept it secret for so long.”
“No. Maybe another time.”
“I can’t believe h
e slept over in another room. Are you guys saving it for marriage?”
“Seriously! How good are your connections in this house?” I turn and glare at the doorway even though no one is there. I don’t want her to see my face. She’ll see through the lies and know we’ve already done it. And I can’t tell her that part; she’ll hate him. And as odd as it is, I don’t want her to.
“I have the whole house bugged. Come for dinner.”
“I can’t. I promised him we’d hang out. It’s confusing enough just being the two of us.”
“Have you eaten a PB&J with him yet?”
“No.” I feign looking shocked. “I only do that with you.”
“Whatever, we’ll see. It’ll be midnight and you’ll be jonesing, and he’ll find you with the spoon in the pantry, licking peanut butter from it.”
We both laugh.
“Do you want a coffee, Mr. Brimley?” Nadia says his name pointedly.
“Yes, please. Black.” His voice makes my back straighten.
Nat winces and I nod. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Right. Merry Christmas, Brimstone!” She sniggers and the connection dies.
“Merry Christmas.” He smiles, looking much better than the night before. The bruising and swelling are down a lot. He almost looks like himself, but tired maybe. With cuts. And a bit of a drug problem. Like those meth before-and-after photos. Okay, he looks bad but at least he’s on the better side of bad.
“Hi.” I hold up the phone. “How long were you there?”
“PB&J?” He glances at Nadia. “Thanks.” He takes the coffee in the fancy little mug and sits. It’s funny to see it in his huge hands.
“Merry Christmas,” I offer as I sip my coffee too.
“I didn’t take you as an early morning Christmas girl. I figured we’d be noon or better.”
“No,” I lie. Nadia tilts her head, mocking me for a second before vanishing from the room.
“So from the stairs I thought I heard you talk about New Year’s. What are you doing?” He sips his coffee.
