“I know what you mean. They seem to be easy with the world, and somehow, regardless of what they have been exposed to, they have this attitude that things should be fair. In a way, they are almost like children.”
“Lucky said he couldn’t believe how barbaric the Nazis were. He was one of the soldiers who liberated several of the concentration camps. He said he would never forget what he saw there. It still makes him sick.”
“Yes, it was so horrible that it was unbelievable, even for those of us who were tortured. But the difference is that we saw it all first hand, we lived through it. I don’t think America has ever known anything like that.”
“Lucky told me that there was a time that Americans kept people with black skin as slaves.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Lucky said that they were once slaves working on these big farms called plantations. And from what I understand, the owners of the plantations could be very cruel.”
“I never knew. You wouldn’t think that the Americans would do something like that. It sounds like Nazi behavior.”
“There is a lot we don’t know about that goes on all over the world, just like there was a lot that the Allies didn’t know was happening to us here during the war,” Shana said.
“I believe that some of them knew, they had to, but they didn’t want to know. They turned away. It was easier not to face the truth.”
“You think so?”
“Who knows? I can’t believe that so many people were murdered, and nobody was aware that it was happening. But, I can’t be sure.”
“Oh Zofia, every survivor will carry these dreadful memories for the rest of our lives, even little Rachel. She was so young, but she saw the death of her family. She saw it with her own eyes. And, I know that no matter what I do, she will always hold that anger inside of her. It scares me. I am afraid sometimes that it is eating away at her.”
Zofia nodded. “I know. I understand what you mean. We survived. But we will never forget.”
Chapter 33
Lucky whistled softly as he approached the gate where he saw Shana leaning against the fence, her arms behind her back, waiting. She watched his broad shoulders and easy stride. There was something about the Americans; they were different from the British or the Russians, and definitely nothing like the Germans. Somehow, Shana thought, it seemed as if they saw the world through different colored lenses. They’d witnessed the suffering, but imbedded somewhere deep inside them, there was this knowledge that things ought to be better and human life had great worth. She treasured that clean, direct American way of thinking. And she loved Lucky, loved his sexy, relaxed way of being.
“How’s my pretty angel tonight?” he said, reaching up and caressing her cheek.
“I’m fine.” Shana blushed. “How are you?”
“Swell as always, except I have a little bit of bad news.”
“Oh?”
“I’m not sure if I told you, I think I might have. But I wanted to let you know that my buddy and I are shipping out in the morning.”
She knew they were leaving, but hearing the words spoken aloud stung her.
“When will you be back?” She felt her heart drop in her chest.
“Don’t know for sure. I’m headed home on leave.”
“Home to America?” Of course, she thought, feeling stupid for even asking. Where else would he be going home to?
“Yep. Home to Louisiana. And I sure as hell am looking forward to it. I can almost taste Mama’s jambalaya. And hot corn bread with melted butter.” He was smiling and licking his lips.
“Will I ever see you again?” She could not look at him. Tears had begun to well up in her eyes; her mouth was dry as sandpaper. She had to tell him. Why was it suddenly so difficult?
“I hope so. I’ll try and come back here and visit you.”
“Oh . . .” The single syllable caught in her throat.
“Heck, we had some laughs, right?”
She nodded, unable to speak because of the tears breaking through, running down her cheeks against her will.
“Hey, peaches, don’t cry . . .”
“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice cracking. Why was she so emotional? She knew he would be going, but somehow she thought that he would make some plans to return . . . something solid, something concrete. Perhaps he would feel differently once he knew how she felt about him. Shana inhaled deeply. TELL HIM. She coughed and turned away, looking out at the street. It was difficult to voice her feelings out loud, to bare her soul, to be so vulnerable. “Thank you for all of the kind things you’ve done for me,” she said, cringing at how stupid she thought that sounded.
“You don’t have to thank me. I like you a lot, you’re a great gal,” he said, squeezing her shoulder. “Come on now, don’t cry.”
“Lucky . . .” she said, swallowing the thick lump that had formed in her throat. Then, biting her lower lip she added, “Larry . . . I love you.”
He didn’t speak. She didn’t know what to do, what to say. She wanted to run away, run back to the barracks; hide in the darkness of her room.
But she couldn’t; she had to see his eyes. His eyes would tell her everything she needed desperately to know.
She turned her head to look at him. He looked genuinely confused, sad, filled with regret.
“Whoa . . . love? Shana, sweetheart, I don’t know what to say,” Lucky said, throwing his arms in the air.
“How do you feel about me?”
“Like I said, you’re a great kid. I like you a lot. But, Shana, I got a girl back home waiting on me. She and I have been together since high school. We’re engaged; we’re supposed to get married when I get back.”
“Oh? And what were you doing with me then?”
“We were just spending time. You know . . . both of us were lonely, and I thought that maybe we could make each other happy for a while.”
“Oh, I thought . . .” she turned away, her face in her hands. She couldn’t bear to meet his eyes. Shana felt like a fool, and she was sure that her heart would never be whole again. “I was a virgin, Lucky. You were my first man,” she whispered.
“Geez, I had no idea,” he said, taking a cigarette from his breast pocket and lighting it. “I’m sorry, kid. I didn’t mean for you to get hurt.”
She looked at him. He did look truly sorry, and that made her feel worse. There was nothing more to say. She wanted to be as far away from him as she could get. Shana didn’t answer. She turned and ran back to the barracks. Still wearing her dress, she threw herself upon her cot and wept.
Chapter 34
The Americans rolled away in their army truck the following morning, waving goodbye out of the windows as their small flag fluttered in the spring breeze. Shana was nowhere to be found. Zofia looked everywhere for her. She had not shown up at breakfast, and Rachel had come to Zofia asking if she’d seen her sister. This was not like Shana, and although Zofia did not let on to Rachel, she was worried. However, Rachel, even at her young age, was no stranger to tragedy. Instead of playing with Katja and Mendel, she lay on her cot gazing out the window.
For a while, Katja and Mendel played outside the barracks while Zofia stayed inside with Rachel, neither of them speaking. But it was not long before Katja and Mendel came inside. Katja quietly lay beside her friend, and Mendel sat next to Katja. None of them were speaking as Katja smoothed Rachel’s hair.
As always, regardless of the hardships he faced when leaving the camp to find work, Isaac returned with a smile on his face. He vowed to shelter Zofia as much as possible from facing any more hardship. He walked into the barracks with his well-worn gray pants and stained cotton shirt, smelling of springtime.
“My sweetheart, why are all of you here in the barracks? Are the children ill?” Isaac said to Zofia, as he looked over at Rachel and Katja lying on their cot. Mendel was sitting beside them holding Katja’s hand. He had a worried look on his face. As he spoke, Isaac walked over and felt each child’s cheek to check for fever.
“How are you, Sunshine?” he asked Katja. “Are any of you feeling sick?”
“We are all right, papa.” Isaac’s loving and caring ways had won Katja over. It warmed Zofia’s heart to see them so close.
“So why are the three of you here in the dark bedroom on this lovely day? You should be out playing. You were always playing in the snow.”
“Come outside with me, Isaac,” Zofia said. “I want to talk to you.”
He looked at her then back at the girls. Zofia nodded to him, “Come,” she said again.
They walked outside.
“Shana is missing.”
“Missing?”
“Yes, I don’t know where she’s gone. I’m sure that you saw the American boys who were staying here in the camp. You know who I mean; the American soldiers?”
“Yes, two of them were here, I think.”
“Correct, there were two. Well, one of them had been seeing Shana romantically.”
“Yes. And?”
“They left today.”
“Do you think he took her with him?” Isaac asked. “Would she leave Rachel behind?”
“No, he didn’t take her. I saw him leave. He was with the other soldier. There was no one else in the army truck.”
“So where do you think she went?”
“I don’t know. Yesterday she told me that she was going to tell him that she loved him. She thought he would marry her and take her and Rachel to America.”
“And he left without her?” Isaac repeated, more to himself than as a question.
“Yes.”
He slumped against the wall of the room. “I hope he didn’t break her heart.”
“I’m sure he did,” Zofia said. “I just hope she is all right. That she hasn’t done something foolish.”
“Let me go and see if I can find her,” Isaac said.
“I tried earlier,” Zofia said. “I looked everywhere.”
“Well, it doesn’t hurt to look again,” he said.
“Go ahead. Try,” she said, lifting her hands in defeat.
Isaac kissed Zofia’s forehead. “I’ll be back soon.”
Chapter 35
Isaac walked for nearly a half hour, combing the camp. He found Shana sitting among the garbage cans behind the kitchen.
He walked over to her quietly.
“Hello, Shana.”
She nodded.
“It certainly smells terrible back here. Can I sit down and talk to you for a minute?” Isaac asked.
She nodded again.
“Everyone is worried about you. Zofia has been looking for you all morning and your sister is distraught.”
“I’m sorry. I just needed some time alone,” she said.
“I understand.” He sat beside her without speaking for a few minutes. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”
“No,” she said. Then she hesitated. “Lucky left. He left and he said he never cared about me anyway.” She started crying. “I was in love with him and to him I was just a plaything.”
Isaac sat, drawing his knees to his chest, listening.
“I had our whole future planned. We were going to get away from this terrible place and all of the horrible memories. He was going to take Rachel and me to America. I even thought that we would get married. What a stupid fool I am. I am so ashamed.”
“It’s all right,” he said. “Don’t feel foolish. I know that love can be the most wonderful thing in the entire world, but because it has the power to be so wonderful, it also has the power to hurt you deeply.”
“Yes. It sure does.”
“I know you don’t believe me right now. And I know you feel like giving up, but you are young, Shana. You will find love again.”
“I will never trust another man. NEVER!”
“Not all men are bad. Look at me and Zofia.”
“I wish I could find a love like you two have for each other. I doubt something so good could ever happen to me. I always seem to find heartache and suffering, in every aspect of my life.”
“You never know what the future will bring. We have all been through a lot of horrible things. Zofia and I were lost to each other for a long time. I thought that she was dead. The pain was so intense that I wanted to die, too. Every night I would ask God to take me, but every morning I would wake up and force myself out of bed. I believed that God had a purpose for me, something I had to do before I could die. And . . . I thought that purpose was to keep living and get to Palestine. Perhaps there I could do some good for our people.
The morning that I left the DP camp where I was staying in order to board Exodus, my heart was heavy. All I could think about was how Zofia and I had shared this dream, and now I was going to Palestine alone, without her, in hope of working to build a Jewish state. I had given up on love. I’d even cursed God for taking the only thing in my life that mattered. I cried, I considered suicide, but in the end I bent my head and bowed to God’s will.
And do you know what happened? As I stood in line waiting to board the ship, God blessed me with the most wonderful, unexpected gift. I found Zofia again. It’s true; we did not get to Palestine. But can you imagine the joy I felt when I saw her alive? It was something that I never thought, never dreamed, could happen.”
She nodded.
“There IS a point to this long-winded story,” he said, smiling at her. “Right now, you think that you have no reason to go on. But you do. God has something in store for you. I don’t know what it might be, but I do know that if you allow God to take care of you, he will. And you must also think of Rachel, and follow your dream of going to the Promised Land. Keep that dream in your heart. Then let God bring you the love you long for; you’ll see. Trust him. Believe me, he will deliver.”
“Do you really think I will ever find real love? Someone who will care for me, who will share my life?” she asked.
“I know it. You just have to believe. Put your trust in God, swallow your pride, and swallow your pain. For now, go back and take care of your sister. And I will tell you a secret.” He winked. “I still believe that somehow, some day we will all go to Palestine. And, somewhere, I don’t know where, but your one true love, your destiny; your beshert is waiting. You must live so that you can be there and be ready when he appears.”
“Isaac, you are so wise.”
“Ech, I’m not wise, I just know what I believe, and I know what I have witnessed. I have seen many things. I’ve seen pain and suffering, but Shana, I have also seen love and miracles. Trust God, Shana . . . trust God.”
Chapter 36
Ships of illegal immigrants came flooding the shores in an attempt to enter Palestine. Some came in secret at night, others in the light of day. The British stopped them and forced the passengers into camps in Cyprus. These camps were filthy, with inadequate food and water. They had no sanitation and were far too small to accommodate the never-ending flow of Jewish refugees. But buried within the hearts of the prisoners in these sordid camps lay the seed of hope, hope that someday the Jews would have a homeland.
Shlomie rubbed the bottoms of his sun-scorched feet. Somehow he would have to acquire some shoes, but he would not steal them the way that his were stolen at night as he slept. He crossed his legs and watched the other prisoners in the Cyprus DP camp as they danced traditional Jewish folk dances while others sang, clapping their hands. The sun was setting and the cool night air descended upon the desert.
He still could not believe that he’d seen Isaac and Zofia. He had thought that Isaac was dead, and as jealous as he was of Zofia’s love for Isaac, he had still mourned for his friend. For Shlomie and Isaac had grown to be best friends, like brothers, during their time as partisans in the forest. Shlomie was happy to see Zofia and Isaac alive, even though they had been on Exodus and, therefore, were on their way back to Europe.
Shlomie had come to Palestine another way. He’d been smuggled in on a boat filled with Jewish scientists;he’d befriended them in the DP camp after Zofia had left. They�
��d planned the mission well, but not well enough. The boat they had chartered made it all the way to the other side of the world only to be apprehended by the British when it arrived. Because they were illegal, they’d all been imprisoned on the island of Cyprus. The climate was harsh. Clean water was a rare commodity, food was scarce, and the smell was a nagging, nauseating reminder of the germs that were always spreading from the continuous arrival of people and overflowing latrines. However, regardless of the conditions, the Jewish people on Cyprus had not lost optimism.
When he arrived, a friend had told Shlomie about an underground tunnel that some of the prisoners were digging at night as they’d planned their escape. Shlomie had not given it a second thought. He immediately offered to help. It was grueling labor that had to be done well after dark for two reasons: one, the heat of the day would have made the strenuous labor impossible; and more importantly, two, the tunnel was an escape route that had to be kept top secret, even amongst the others in the camp. Shlomie had never been strong like Isaac; he’d been more of an intellectual, but this was a cause he believed in and so he would work until his back broke to achieve his goal.
“Come, dance with us,” one of the female scientists said.
Shlomie shook his head. “Not now. Maybe later.”
Chapter 37
Her name was Esther, and she’d just had a baby in the Jewish wing of the British Military Hospital. Her husband, Lazer, sat holding the child while she danced with the women. Lazer smiled across the field at Shlomie. Shlomie returned the smile, lost in thought. He would like to have a family some day. It was said, and he agreed, that the Jews who’d survived the Holocaust had the responsibility of rebuilding the race by having as many children as possible. Someday he’d like to have a large family living in Palestine. Most of the people in the camp were young, Shlomie thought. That might be because very few of the old people were strong enough to survive the Nazis. Although the Jews were prisoners here on Cyprus, the British were choosing 750 people from the Cyprus camp each month and allowing them to enter Palestine. This was reason enough for optimism.
The Promised Land (All My Love, Detrick Series) (All My Love Detrick Book 3) Page 14
