by Cindy Stark
He smiled. “Those things are a given, but I’m talking about how well you handle things despite your circumstances. You have every right to hate your parents and be angry about your childhood, but you don’t seem to be stuck there.”
“I’m not. It’s like I told you before. It happened. There’s nothing I can do about it, so I’ve moved on.” Although life seemed to be throwing memories of her childhood in her path more than usual.
“That’s easier said than done.”
“It’s a decision, an outlook on life.” She tilted her head. “Why do I feel we’re talking more about you than me?”
He paused for a long moment as though hesitant to share. “Just some old, unresolved issues with my dad.” He glanced out toward the ocean, and, even though the moonshine didn’t hit his face, she could sense his inner turmoil.
“Anything you want to talk about?”
He sighed. “No. Just things I wished I’d said. Things that might have made a difference. That kind of thing.”
“And now he’s gone.”
“Yep.”
“I hate to echo the words you said to me earlier, but it sounds like you haven’t dealt with it and maybe you should.”
“Look who’s playing psychologist now.”
She turned her lips into a consoling smile, wishing she could ease his sorrows. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to toss it back in your face.”
“I know. It’s something I need to do.” He lifted a shoulder and let it drop. “It’s on the horizon. You’ve inspired me.”
“How long has he been gone?”
“Two years. Long enough for me to have dealt with things.”
She could understand. “The man who fathered me has only been dead nine months, and I’m not sure a lifetime will be long enough to reconcile with his memory.”
Xander’s arm jerked as an impatient Apollo pulled at his leash, trying to continue down the beach. “Let’s let the dogs run a bit.” He unhooked their leashes and picked up a stick of driftwood, throwing it back toward the house. Stormy took off on a dead run with Apollo chasing behind her. Stormy grabbed the stick and faked a dash to the right before running off to the left, leaving Apollo to try and catch her.
With the dogs occupied, Nicole took the opportunity to snuggle against Xander’s chest. “It’s kind of chilly out here.” She wrapped her arms around him, curious to see how he’d react.
Without hesitation, he tightened his grip on her, tucking her head beneath his chin. “I warned you it was cold out.”
“I know.” She smiled. He hadn’t pushed her away. Instead, he’d acted like a normal guy who was attracted to a girl. “But the ocean is so magnetic, no matter how chilly it is.”
“Weather is supposed to warm up tomorrow. I figured we could spend the morning wandering around town and come down to the beach in the afternoon when it’s warmest. Maybe dig up some clams for dinner.”
“That sounds like fun.” Another thing she’d never done before.
“I’ll fry them like my grandma used to do.”
“That sounds wonderful. I’ll make a salad to go with them.”
He hugged her tighter. “I’m glad you decided to come, Nicole.”
“Me, too.”
“I feel like I’ve known you for years. Like we could tell each other anything.”
She turned her gaze toward him. “I feel the same way. Kindred spirits, I guess.”
“Yeah. Something like that.”
He stared into her eyes, sending her sensations into overdrive. She was acutely aware of the body warmth that radiated from his thighs to hers, of how safe she felt cuddled against him, of how much she wanted to take this to the next level.
His perusal grew more intense, but she didn’t look away. His strong gaze had a way of making her feel vulnerable and exposed, but she wanted him to see her. Wanted him to know how powerful their attraction really was.
He reached up, traced a thumb down her cheek. “I wish I could get inside your head. See what you’re really thinking.”
“There’s no need for that. I’ll tell you exactly what I’m thinking.” She glanced from his eyes to his lips before slowly returning to his tiger-like orbs. “Right now, I wish you would kiss me.”
Chapter Thirteen
Nicole’s request for a kiss was one Xander couldn’t resist no matter the consequences.
He inhaled, trying to keep his composure as he frantically searched for a way to extricate himself from the impossible situation. His brain went on hiatus as every hot-blooded cell in his body focused on tasting her lips. There was no strategizing when his subconscious could think of nothing but following his baser instincts.
He captured the sides of her face, studying her eyes, finding no reason to not comply. “Kiss you?” Just speaking the words made him hard for her.
“Yes,” she whispered. “Kiss me.”
His slow breath disappeared on the breeze as he lowered his lips to hers, intent on a gentle kiss. The moment her soft, supple lips touched his, desire inside him growled and punched its way through any reasonable barriers he’d put in place. A moan of pleasure slipped from her lips, and it was enough to make him lose sight of his purpose. He hauled her against him, unable to keep from possessing her mouth. He gripped her chin, tilting her head back. Her tongue teased against his, a taste of mint tempting his senses.
She dug her fingers into his hair as though to never let him go.
An aching urge to do more than kiss her ripped through him, and he fought to keep his restraint.
He’d tasted her. Now, he wanted to touch her.
When lack of oxygen finally broke them apart, she released a breathless laugh.
“What’s so funny?” From the look on her face, he knew their kiss had seriously affected her, too, and he couldn’t figure out why she’d laugh after such an intense kiss.
“Not laughing at you, at us. Just…” She held his hand and twirled around. “Everything is so perfect right now. It’s a beautiful night. I love being here with you. Stormy’s happy, and so is Apollo.”
Her delight was contagious and took the edge off his apprehension. “It is the perfect night.” After regaining some semblance of control over his emotions, he pulled her into his arms again. Gave her a quick kiss on the tip of her nose as though he hadn’t had ulterior motives behind the whole weekend. “But your nose is cold.”
A shiver rolled through her, making him shake as well. “I wasn’t cold until you said that.”
“I’d light a fire, but it’s pretty late to scour the beach for wood.”
“Tomorrow? After we cook clams? Promise me we’ll make a roaring bonfire and stay out late.”
“I promise.”
She grinned and kissed him again before releasing a vocal shiver. “If we’re going in, let’s go. I really am getting cold now.”
He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and headed for the stairs to his house. The dogs chased after them when they realized their owners were leaving. By the time he and Nicole reached the deck, the dogs were waiting at the back door, panting with exertion and excitement.
“Good thing they like each other,” he said to Nicole.
“I knew they would.”
Once inside, Xander watched her from the corner of his eye as they both removed their outerwear. Damn it. His internal battle with his instincts left him weary. Everything inside him roared that Nicole was innocent, that she couldn’t have committed such a cold and calculated crime. She didn’t have it in her. Yet, Hunter and Sam had branded her a thief.
The minute he was home from the beach, he would insist on sitting down with Sam and reviewing what the police had against her. Sam had no proof, and quite frankly, he was starting to wonder about the strength of their circumstantial evidence. Until then, he was going to lay off the subtle interrogation. If she was innocent, he sure as hell didn’t want to treat her like a criminal.
It was possible she was an excellent actress and totally had him fooled, but he couldn�
��t make himself believe it any longer.
He took her coat and hung it in the closet near the door.
“I’m going to head upstairs,” she said with a cryptic look that set him on edge. She would expect him to make a move on her. He was certain of it, and he had yet to figure out how to handle it if she did. Then again, if she was innocent, maybe he should give in to what they both wanted.
He nodded. “I’m going to check the doors, and I’ll be up.” God help him.
“Okay.” A warm smile spread across her lips as she headed for the stairs. At the bottom of the staircase, she looked back at him, a pink blush on her cheeks. “I guess Stormy is going to wait for you.”
Xander looked to see her and Apollo both sharing the large bowl of water he’d placed on the floor for them.
“Don’t take it personally. She still loves you.”
She laughed and continued up the stairs.
When she was gone from sight, he closed his eyes and cussed under his breath. Her scent still hung in the air, her smile still imprinted on his retinas. She wanted to make love. There was no doubt. And God knew he wanted her bad enough to sign away his soul.
* * *
Nicole’s nerves chattered inside her, a mass of excited energy as she flipped on the light in her bedroom. A soft glow illuminated the cool sea green comforter covering the wrought iron bed and the adjacent black nightstand. Whatever weird thing that had transpired earlier between Xander and her had disappeared. Maybe she’d imagined the whole strange awkwardness. He’d been hesitant a few times, but he was definitely interested in her. Proof of his attraction had been more than evident when they’d kissed on the beach.
She unzipped her suitcase, this time taking a few minutes to remove her items and place them in the small black dresser or closet. Maybe he was being cautious. Maybe he’d had his heart broke in the past and was more careful now. There were plenty of men who showed some reserve before they jumped in bed.
She liked that about him.
Besides, he’d proven he was a man who got what he wanted, and she was pretty sure he wanted her. She just needed to chill and let the man make his move.
She took her travel bag and headed into the adjoining bathroom to freshen up. She brushed her teeth thinking about his perfect smile. Sometimes it took a few moments for him to show it, but once he did, his smile had the wattage to light up a room. It definitely lit up her heart.
She rolled her eyes at her silly, love-struck thoughts as she spritzed on perfume. She smiled as she reapplied her pink lip gloss. He’d managed to remove what she’d been wearing when he’d kissed her earlier. He’d probably make short work of what she’d just applied.
That was okay with her. She wanted him to kiss her again and again, and she didn’t care if he ever stopped.
Her nerves twittered as she ran a quick brush through her hair and slipped back into the bedroom to retrieve her nightgown. She lifted the silky black sheath, hoping she hadn’t gone overboard. She usually slept in a tank and shorts, but she’d wanted their weekend to be special. More than that, she wanted to impress him enough he wouldn’t easily forget their time together. Janie had teased her when she’d packed it, but something deep inside told her Xander wasn’t an ordinary boyfriend. He had the potential to make a running in the forever category, and she had every intention giving them her best shot.
She slipped off her clothes, tingling as the satiny black fabric slipped over her sensitized skin. She was certain she wouldn’t have it on for long anyway.
When she’d finished getting ready, she paused.
Now what?
Did she wait for him to come to her? Did she go to his room?
She’d heard the stairs creak a few minutes ago, so she knew he’d joined her on the second floor. Maybe he needed a couple of minutes, too.
She’d wait in her room. He was enough of an alpha to want to make the first move. She climbed beneath the covers, the soft sheets cold against her skin. A shiver raced through her, and she wished he was there already to help warm the bed and make her forget about everything but making love to him.
Five minutes went by and nothing. She did her best to be patient, but it was hard not to check the time on her cell phone every few seconds.
When ten minutes had passed, the gnarly fingers of uncertainty crept into her thoughts. Maybe he wouldn’t come. There had been those few awkward moments between them that she’d rationalized away. Maybe he was one of those people who was afraid of intimacy.
She widened her eyes. That would be just awful.
No. He was too much of a man to be like that. His kiss had been too passionate.
She waited another ten minutes, far past the time when the house had become quiet. She hesitated, wondering what to do. It felt like a rejection, but then why had he invited her away for the weekend?
The intelligent side of her won over her questioning emotions, and she tossed back the blankets, her bare feet hitting the cold wooden floors. She crossed her room and opened the door. Light from her lamp illuminated the hall, and Stormy and Apollo jumped to their feet.
The door to Xander’s room was shut. Hurt and confusion threatened to gain control. It felt like he’d closed the door on her. She gathered her strength, crossed the hall and knocked.
There was movement in the room, and a second later, Xander opened the door.
“Everything okay?” He stood, his chest bare, the rest of him covered by gray flannel pants. She tried to remain focused on what she intended to say, but it was difficult with all that hard, sexy flesh right in front of her.
She cleared her throat and focused on his face. He’d glued his gaze to somewhere near her forehead.
“No. It’s not okay.”
He dropped his gaze to her face for a brief moment, then lower to the deep cleavage of her gown. A quiet groan slipped from his lips as he closed his eyes. A second passed before he refocused on her face, but she was certain she hadn’t mistaken the look of wanting in his expression.
“I’m confused. I thought you’d invited me here because you wanted to spend time with me.”
“I do.”
“So…this spending time together does not include sleeping in the same bed?”
His throat visibly worked through a swallow. “You don’t mince words, do you?”
“That’s not an answer. Am I mistaken here? I thought you were interested in me, as in a man and a woman. But maybe you’re only looking for friendship?”
“No. I’m interested in you.”
“Then I don’t understand. We’re both adults, and we’re here, alone, in a romantic setting. You don’t seem like a shy person, so what’s the problem? Don’t you want me?”
He groaned outright this time as a look of pure torture crossed his features. “I want you, Nicole.” Fire burned in his eyes, and she knew in that moment he did want her. She couldn’t possibly imagine why he might be holding back.
“Then what’s the problem?” She stepped closer to him.
He widened his eyes, revealing a look of intrigued disbelief that encouraged her. “There’s not a problem.”
They stood at an impasse, him watching her with a badly-shielded sizzling gaze, her wishing he’d make the first move.
Something tethered him.
Whatever it was, it wasn’t a good enough reason for her. “Then you’re not going to care if I do this.” She lifted a hand, placing it on the hard contours of his chest. A purr of satisfaction slipped from her throat. He was all hot and solid and made her insides liquefy. “Or this.” She lifted his hand and held it to her breast.
He inhaled a sharp breath, and she closed her eyes at the heavenly feel of him against her. “Nicole.” Her name came out breathless and ragged, and she couldn’t imagine anything better. “You’re going to push this too far.”
That was exactly what she wanted. “Touch me, Xander.” She moved his hand over the silky fabric covering her breast, her nipple aching as it puckered, begging for his touch.
>
“Hell,” he whispered. He cupped her heavy breast, his face a mixture of agony and pleasure.
She couldn’t contain her moan. He reacted to the sound, pulling her through his doorway, her body colliding with his in a force of desperate need. He kissed her hard, pushing her until he had her trapped against the wall.
Her breath was lost between his rough and demanding kisses. She wasn’t sure why he’d held back, but she’d definitely released the beast now. “Yes,” she whispered as his hot and greedy mouth found a ripe nipple beneath her thin layer of silk.
A sharp current trembled through her. She arched forward, encouraging him to continue his assault. The small release he’d given her was far from enough. She needed more. So much more.
She ground her hips against him, hoping her movements would draw his attention to that area. He trapped her gaze with his dark and dangerous eyes, his hands spanning, molding her bottom, pulling her harder against his erection.
She raised her brows in a silent invitation. He gave a slight shake of his head as though to reprimand her for what she’d started. She grinned, knowing he couldn’t resist what she offered.
Spurred by his crumbling resistance, she slipped her hands down his back beneath the waistband of his pants, her fingers coming into contact with bare flesh. He stiffened as she ran her fingertips over taut skin and muscle, and she had to hold back her laugh.
He couldn’t hope he still had a chance to resist.
She pushed down the flannel, his pants stopping when they caught on his erection. Keeping her gaze pinned to his, she slowly slid a hand between them.
He inhaled as she disengaged the fabric, and he shook his head again as she encircled him. “Nicole,” he warned.
“I want this,” she whispered. “Don’t you?” She slid her hand up and down the silky steel of him.
She saw or maybe felt when the last piece of his resistance collapsed. His eyes widened, his nostrils flared, and for a half second, she was afraid of what she’d done.
He took her hands, holding them against the wall while he attacked her with savage kisses. He nearly ripped her panties from her hips before hiking up her nightgown. Holding both her hands above her head, he traced a rough finger between her wet folds, the friction nearly undoing her. “You like that?”
