by Tara Brown
"She's at the tent with the food. She is determined to maintain her plump breeder-farm look. I heard things went nuts with your rescue mission. You guys scared me. No one thought you'd make it back,” Jake says. How did he know? How did the camp know that? A screaming Anna interrupts my thoughts.
"Will! Emma!” I look up to see Anna running to us. She is holding a leg of meat.
I wiggle out of their arms and attack her with a fierce hug.
She hugs me so tightly her muscles tremble. Only she will ever truly understand what I have been through. We share the moment. Nothing is spoken. It doesn’t need to be. She knows what I went back to. She knows what I saw. She was there when the bags ripped. She squeezes me and laughs. “You scared me, jerk."
"I scared myself."
She pulls me back and kisses the tip of my nose. “Stop doing that to me."
"Yeah. One day, maybe,” I say. I'm dreading leaving again tomorrow. My feet ache at the prospect of it. “Where’s Sarah?”
“With Meg and Mary and that spawn of evil. She’s fine, I swear. And Meg has sworn she won’t date a guy until you approve of him.”
I take a deep inhale of her and nod. “Good. I won’t be going back to the camp for a while. I don't think.”
Jake frowns. “Huh?” He looks at Will. Will shakes his head.
Anna lets me go and hugs Will. They are less cold around each other since the retreat. Leo squeezes his way in and Anna drops to her knees and hugs him hard.
"How is it the dog gets more love than I do?” Will crosses his arms.
Jake shrugs and punches his arm lightly. “We're chopped liver, dude."
Will laughs. “I guess so, huh? So we leave tomorrow for the next breeder farm. We are going to free the women."
“You got the one we were at?” Anna looks at me.
“We destroyed the place. Burned it to the ground."
“I want to be there for the next one." Her eyes twinkle with mischief.
When I glance at Will, he looks at Jake, who shakes his head.
As much as I hate agreeing with either of them, I don't want her there either. So I clear my throat and touch Leo's fur. “Well, now that this place is packed with pregnant women and babies, I was sort of hoping you'd help them get back to the retreat."
She stands and puts her hands on her hips. “What? Screw that! I'm not a babysitter and besides—I hate kids. That little monster of Mary's is enough to drive me around the bend."
I laugh. I can't even pretend I don’t know exactly what she is talking about. Kids make me nuts.
She looks around distastefully. “I will kill myself here. This is not the place for me. I'm coming.” She grins at me. “Besides, you always said I looked just like bait." She stalks off. I know she is going to find Marshall and make him agree. She is good at that.
I look between Jake and Will, clearing my throat again. “Well, I better get to the medics.” I walk around them, almost breaking into a run.
The medics’ tents are full of pregnant women and babies. I take a seat on a stump and wait.
"Marshall wants her seen now,” Will's booming voice beckons over a doctor. The poor man sees the hateful look on Will’s face and hurries to my side.
I sneer at Will. “I can wait."
Will crosses his arms and shakes his head. “No, we leave tomorrow and she has infections."
The older man smiles at me and kneels in front of me. “What's the problem?"
"Besides him?” I ask quietly and hold out my infected quill pokes and open my shirt a bit to show the others. I slide my sleeve up gingerly and show the bandage. “Gunshot, a porcupine, and a jackass."
He winces. “You are a mess, and those are infected. Let's go. In the tent."
I'm sweaty and filmy from the muggy spring air. I pull off my overshirt and walk into the tent in my tank top. My bandage is soaked again.
He unties it and whistles. “This doesn’t look very good."
Will's face flushes from the entrance. “That’s because a jerk kept sticking his fingers in her cuts and dragging her around the woods like a madman.”
The doctor looks lost.
Will looks at me from under his lashes, giving me an apologetic look. I really don't like him. I don't want to anyway. Or at the very least I want to not care about him.
"Maybe try not to let jerks touch your wounds. Try not to get shot too." The doctor mutters, making me wince a couple times. I ignore the doctor and the things he does, just focusing on staying awake and upright. I have a new bandage and ointment everywhere. When he’s done I look at my hands. “I can't fight like this, doc. You have to figure out a different way to make me better." They are just thick bandages everywhere. I can’t even grab anything or make a fist.
The doctor points a meaty finger in my face. “Twenty-four hours like this. Then you can go traipsing all over hell’s half acre."
I grin. “How did you know that’s where we're going?"
“That's where you’re always going.” He laughs. “Drink plenty of water and take these pills. Antibiotics. You need them. The quill infection holes are actually starting to show signs of blood poisoning."
I remember Jake having it and drop the pills in the back of my throat. Will holds the water for me because my hands are giant mitts of cotton. "Thanks."
Doc nods and points at the door. "Send the next lady with an infant in." I feel bad for him. It's going to be a rough night for all the doctors. He looks at Will. “Be a good jackass and make her rest, okay?"
Will grins and looks at me. “Doctor’s orders."
“You're still a jerk and I don't want to talk to you."
“I know I am.” He takes my padded hand and holds my arm. He drags me gently through the tents and small structures until we reach another tent. He opens the door and climbs in. There are blankets and bedding everywhere. I step in and feel my stomach twist when I hear him close the door. We are alone. "Leo."
He looks at the wolf through the screen. “You sleep outside."
I look at Leo and shake my head. “He sleeps with me."
Will closes the tent door. “No, he'll bite me in the night."
“Nothing you wouldn't deserve.” I moan and lie down on the bedding, kicking off my boots. Every inch of me hurts and my eyes won’t stay open but I have to protest this. “You can't sleep in here with me."
He lies beside me. “But I'm going to. Someone has to watch over you to make sure your fever doesn't get too high and make certain your antibiotics kick in. They bring it in from the city and farms. It’s spent days on horseback or old trucks."
“Go get Anna.”
“No.”
“Fine. I don't care, just don't touch me or I’ll cut you.” I can feel the heat coming off of him, making me shiver. My body is melting into the bedding when he speaks. “What’s up with you and Jake?"
"Too tired, Will. Ask me tomorrow."
"I'm serious."
"He’s my friend and he’s exactly the person I wish I could be. He’s free and easygoing. That's what’s up.” My eyes are closed, but I can imagine exactly how his face looks. “He’s my friend." He wants more of an answer but there really isn’t one.
"Nothing else?"
I shake my head.
“I mean romantically.”
“I know.” I sigh. “There is no romantically. Your brother is a sweet and kind guy who wants nothing but to make me happy and make me smile. He never wants to hurt me or make me jealous. He’s the best friend—male friend—I’ve ever had. In fact, he’s the only male friend I’ve ever had."
“I don't want to be your friend, Em.” It’s the second time he’s said it to me.
“Then don't be.”
“I hate the way you look so peaceful and calm when he hugs you. You think I’ll ever make you look peaceful like that?”
I shake my head again.
He sighs and touches my arm. “You're killing me."
"No, but I'd like to." I open one eye. “I need sleep.�
�
"Emma, I'm being serious. I don't know how to be with a girl like you. I don’t know what you want."
I open the other eye. “I want to have this conversation after, like, a week of sleep? No, wait. I want to have it in a decade after you’ve proven you can be my friend and not some bossy ass. I'm exhausted and Marshall has me invading the farms for the next year so it definitely can’t be till after that. Okay?" My tone is testy but I’m so tired I feel nauseated.
He rolls over and wraps an arm around my waist. “No. I need this conversation now."
I groan, “Sleepy. Doctor said sleep.” I pull away.
He kisses my nose. “He said resting. This counts."
“Don’t.” I shake my head and close my eyes again. “Please don’t touch me."
His lips brush my cheek. “I have made a grave mistake."
"You've made a few. You're making one right now. I’m not kidding about cutting you."
He chuckles and brushes his lips against my other cheek. “You've made some too."
I know I have. I just don’t know how to say it. I am making one by not stopping him.
"My biggest mistake is falling for a girl who doesn’t need me. I know I should probably be with someone who fulfills that ‘big man taking care of the little girl’ need I have, but I want you. Even if you don’t need me, I need you. I don't want to be your friend, Em. I want to be more, I want to be everything."
I open my eyes again. His blue eyes are all I see. "You're wrong. I do need you. Just not to save me from the world. I need you to give me space and earn my respect. Being with you, Anna, Jake, Sarah, and Meg is amazing for me. It's the first time I've ever felt like I'm part of something. I need you to see that. You all have become a family to me. I'm not good at this stuff. I need you to see that I love every one of them. If you want to be part of that then you have to respect me the way they do.”
He winces. “Do you think you’ll ever be able to love me?"
I close my eyes. “I don't know.” It’s a lie. I know how I already feel but I’m not saying it.
He kisses my forehead, hovering there for a second. “I want to give you everything you want and need."
I yawn and shudder. “I need sleep.” And to never have this conversation again.
He kisses my other cheek. “Sleep.” And I do. I sleep because he is there and I feel safe, even if I don't want to admit how I feel about him.
Chapter Twenty-Four
A month later, Anna walks down the road, gripping Muriel’s hand. Together they look like little lost sisters.
"So what's the deal with you and Will?"
I look at my new sniper partner and frown. “Nothing. Nothing is up. We're friends. Why?”
Mitch and I don’t talk much—we’ve only been partners for a month, but he’s the best shot I have ever seen. He's the strong, silent type. I think if the world were how it used to be, Mitch would have been a cop or in the military. He gives me a look. "Jake said something. Said he figured he'd lost you to him."
"Seriously?” I turn and look at him. “You guys are like little old women. I just want to be friends with everyone. How is that hard to understand?"
“Whatever. I’m your friend.” Mitch laughs. He is a year older than me and has become fast friends with Jake. He lowers his eye to peer through the scope on his gun. "We got some action."
I pull an arrow and ready myself. “Who would you pick?"
"Jake. Will is a jackass."
The truck rounds the corner. It's a huge white cargo truck. Will calls them furniture trucks. It has a symbol on the side of it that I've never seen before. My bow is ready. My arrow is taut. "He is a jackass, alright."
"Yup. Ready?"
"Yup."
The first guy climbs out and just like the last three trucks we've tricked, they immediately go for the intimidation. One guy slams Muriel against the truck. My arrow slices through his neck. He falls to the ground.
Jake and Will and the other guys come up out of the forest. My second arrow hits the guy grabbing Anna. Anna retrieves my arrow from his heart and wipes it on his shirt. She retrieves the other arrow from the throat of the other man. She wipes it on his pants, making me smile. She is disgusting.
Jake and Will drag the dead men to the ditches. Mitch uses a hunting rifle. He has dropped three in the time it takes me to drop my two. Will opens the back door of the truck and shoots a man as he jumps out. I can see everyone climbing in so Leo and I run down the hill, following Mitch into the back of the truck. I close the door and get ready. Leo pants in the dark.
Girls are crying in the back of the truck and Muriel is trying to talk over them.
"Only two arrows, Em? Mitch outshot you this time,” Anna teases me in the dark. The girls in the back with us cry harder.
Muriel claps her hands like my school teacher used to and talks softly, “We're going to free you. We just need to drive you to the place where you'll be set free. This is a bad location.”
"You're not the others?” one of the captives asks.
Jake laughs. “We're like the other others. Can you all find your ways home if we drop you at Green Mountain?"
They all answer at once.
"I can."
"Yup."
"Thank you so much."
"God bless you."
Someone shines a flashlight around the truck to see the faces. In the glow I can see that some are young, but some are older, more like thirty-five. I suspect what those ladies are for. I know it's not the breeder farms.
"Who are you people?"
Muriel calmly speaks. “We are just regular people trying to save our loved ones.”
Whoever has the light, shines it on the roof so we can all see each other a little bit. Leo growls and when they see him they all move back quickly.
"Oh, my dear Lord, you're the girl with the wolf. I heard about you. They burned my village looking for you."
I look around for a second, not realizing they're talking to me. My face heats up. “What?"
A small woman, with dark hair and a fat lip, nods. “Yeah. They come looking for you. Said they were looking for information about a girl who traveled with a wolf. Said to tell you they was looking for you. Had something you might be interested in."
Will and Jake both shake their heads but it’s Will who reads my mind perfectly and answers the question burning in there. “No. Sarah and Meg are back at the retreat."
I frown. “They had something that I wanted?"
"Yup." The lady says again.
"They come to my village too."
Will shakes his head. “Impossible. They're trying to get to you."
I glance back at the young girl who spoke. “What did they say?"
She shrugs. “Just asked if we knew ya."
I’m dizzy. “So they know who I am?"
She shakes her head. “Nope. Couldn’t describe you. Just a girl with a wolf. Said you was some kind of vigilante. Causing trouble for folks like us."
I know that word. "What—a vigilante?” I put my hands out. “Well, this is the kind of trouble we like to cause them."
The women smile. “You people are the heros we need. Everyone needs hope. You got a name?"
"Yeah, I’m Emma, and if you see those men again, you tell them everything you saw. They will probably pay you with food and maybe leave you alone."
They all shake their heads simultaneously. The oldest-looking woman speaks, looking defiant. “Nope. We need you guys. They say you all are going to overthrow the government that they worked so hard to create out of the ashes. I say they burned it all down so the ashes that’s there is all their fault anyway. Make them pay for everything they done to people. I hear they shipped the blacks and Asians and South Americans and Indians home to their countries. Poor people lived in America longer than most whites, but they got put on slaver ships. Every country is doing the same as here—they’re breeding their people. Blacks in Africa. Indians in India. Asians in Asia. It's crazy. Whites here an
d in Europe. I hear Canada is still free though. They ain't got slaver camps and ships."
I nod. “We had a black nurse in the farm, and she confirmed they weren’t breeding blacks there. Only whites."
"I heard a man say that mixing the religions and races was a sin, and that God smote us for it."
"That's nonsense. God didn’t drop the bombs or make the infection. They burned the world and now they gotta live with whatever rises out of the ashes."
"You all are what’s rising out of that ash, like a phoenix. You need to spread your wings and soar. Don’t let them catch you."
The women all speak, trying to motivate us. It makes me feel sick. I've caused death and destruction. My actions have had consequences. Not to me, but to innocents who never met me before. Innocents have suffered because I have stood up against the breeder farms.
"This is crazy.” Joe looks stunned.
Jake looks horrified and whispers to me, “This is creepy.” I lean in and whisper back, “I know."
The truck rolls to a gentle stop. The back opens.
Mona smiles. “Well, we're at Green Mountain."
The ladies in the back stand and stretch.
Each of them touches our hands and squeezes or hugs us as they climb from the truck.
"You guys sure you'll be okay?” I ask in between hugs. I am lost in too many thoughts and people touching me.
They nod.
"We all got picked up fairly close to here. We haven’t been in the truck long."
"Good luck, you guys, and may God be with you. You are the heroes we need. Don’t ever forget it. Like the phoenix."
I can't smile. Not without losing the control I have. I want to shake them and tell them to stop speaking such treason out loud or the others will come for them. Instead, I look out at the bright day ahead of them and mutter, “Stay safe."
Mona closes the door and I hear her laughing as we sit in the darkness. Will sits beside me. He kisses my cheek silently and whispers, “You okay? All those people being nice to you must have been weird."
“Shut up.” I shake my head and lean away from him. I am more ready than ever to kill something. “I don't like that they’re hurting people and saying it’s because of us.”
