His head tilted slightly to one side. “What triggered your memory?”
“I could hear you,” I whispered. “In the bathroom.”
His brow furrowed. He seemed confused for a moment, then his eyes softened in understanding and he wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight. “I wish I could take all those unpleasant memories from you, love.”
I clung to him. He had no idea how much his words meant to me. I wished he could take them all away, too, but just having him with me helped so much.
His lips lingered in my hair. “What’s for dinner tonight?”
“Fish.”
“Fish?”
I nodded against his lapel.
Taking a step back, he laced his fingers with mine and we walked back out to the kitchen.
After we finished dinner, he went to his chair as he always did. I cleaned up, and walked over to him. He opened his arms for me, and I sat down on his lap.
This was my happy place. If I had to pick one spot in the world I’d rather be than any other, it would be here, sitting in his lap.
As the evening wore on, I began to feel a little disappointed. We talked as we always did, only now, every time I made a face he made me tell him why and what it meant, but never once did he mention or lead me to believe we would be ending the night any differently than we had last night. Yes, I’d panicked when he’d touched me the other night, but before that, it had actually felt really good. I liked when he touched me, and I badly wanted to try again.
When nine thirty came, he patted me on my leg letting me know he wanted me to stand. Other than the gentle caresses and kisses he always gave me whenever we were close, he didn’t try to touch me.
I followed his instructions to go change into my nightclothes, get one of my books, and meet him in his bedroom.
Walking back into his bedroom, I paused at the door when I saw him standing by his bed in nothing but his boxers. Maybe this was it. We’d never done anything in his bedroom before, but now that I was sleeping in here—maybe. Unfortunately, my hopes were dashed when he saw me.
He grabbed something off the bed before walking toward the bathroom. “Sit here outside the door and read while I shower.”
Again, he disappeared into the bathroom, but didn’t close the door. I sat on the floor obediently, opened my book, and waited.
Brianna
The next day was much the same. He kissed me goodbye before leaving for work, and again when he came home, but there was nothing beyond that. I wanted to say something, but I didn’t know how. He caught me frowning once, and asked me what was wrong. I just said that I’d missed him. It was true. I did miss him. I missed him touching me like he had been. Friday night, I fell asleep lying on the floor beside his bed just as I had for the last two nights.
Instead of waking up naturally on Saturday morning as I usually did, the phone rang pulling us both from sleep.
“Hello,” he answered groggily. Suddenly, he was on his feet and swiftly walking out of the room.
It took me a moment to register what had just happened, but then I remembered I was supposed to stay with him. I jumped to my feet, anxious, and scrambled after him.
He was in the kitchen, the phone pressed hard against his ear. There was a scowl on his face as he continued to talk to whoever was on the other end of the line. Standing still was difficult, and I didn’t know what I was supposed to do.
After a few more minutes, he hung up and tossed the phone on the counter. He ran his fingers roughly through his hair, and took a deep breath before looking up and seeing me standing there, my lips pressed tight together.
His face softened a little as he walked toward me. He still didn’t look happy, and I wanted to try and make it better. He’d said I could always go to him, but was this the same thing? I decided to take the chance. Before he could take the last steps separating us, I went to him.
Immediately he wrapped his arms around me, holding me close. “Are you all right?” he asked. I could hear the concern in his voice.
“Yes.” I nodded against the warmth of his bare chest.
His arms squeezed me, and I smiled. I’d made a good choice.
All too soon, however, he released me with a sigh. “You have a visitor coming.”
“Someone is coming to see me?” The only person I could think of was Cal. Lily said she was Logan’s submissive on the weekends. Surely he wouldn’t let her come visit me this early on a Saturday morning, but what would Cal be doing here this early either?
He must have seen the confusion on my face. “My uncle is downstairs. I told him we’d still been asleep, so he’s giving us ten minutes to get presentable.”
I tensed. I didn’t want to see his uncle. He didn’t like me, and was trying to take me away from Stephan.
Without thinking, I reached for him again, pressing my hands firmly against his skin. “I don’t want to leave you,” I whispered. I could hear the note of panic in my voice.
He brushed his lips against my temple before cupping my face, making me look up at him. “I’m glad to hear that,” he smiled. “Relax. What did I tell you? No one is going to take you away if you don’t want to go.”
“Okay.” I knew it was shaky, but it was the best I could do. His uncle made me nervous.
“Now, we only have about five minutes left. Run to your bathroom and do what you need to.” He let go of me and began walking into his room. “Five minutes, Brianna,” he called over his shoulder.
I ran into my room.
Five minutes later, I cautiously walked back into the main room to find Stephan standing in a pair of dark jeans and a T-shirt, talking to his uncle. Stephan glanced up at my entrance, and held out his hand to me.
I crossed the space quickly, never taking my eyes off Dr. Cooper. He smiled at me, but all I could think about when I saw him was what Stephan had told me. How could his uncle believe that woman and not him?
When I reached Stephan’s side, he pulled me close, wrapping his arm around me.
Neither said anything at first. Then Dr. Cooper cleared his throat. “I brought a peace offering,” he said, holding up a brown paper bag. There was a logo on the side, but I couldn’t read it.
I didn’t respond.
“My uncle has come by at this early hour to apologize to you, Brianna.”
My gaze shot up to Stephan’s, eyes wide. He wanted to apologize? To me?
“Yes,” his uncle said, clearing his throat again. “I thought we could have breakfast and talk. Do you like bagels?”
I wasn’t looking at him until Stephan motioned with his eyes for me to respond. “Um . . . yes?” Stephan’s hold tightened briefly around my waist, and I knew he was trying to encourage me. “Yes,” I said, firmer this time. “I . . . I like bagels.”
“Good,” Dr. Cooper said. It was then I noticed how tense he’d been as his shoulders relaxed at my positive response.
“Brianna.” My head whipped back around at the sound of Stephan’s voice. “Why don’t you get the milk and juice, and bring it to the table.”
I nodded, and left his side to complete my task.
Stephan and his uncle sat opposite each other as I placed the drinks on the table. I stood, unsure what to do. Normally, I would join him for breakfast. My gaze met Stephan’s, and he nodded toward the chair. I breathed a sigh of relief and sat down.
Dr. Cooper had brought all different kinds of bagels. He said he wasn’t sure which kind I’d like, and insisted I be the first to pick the one I wanted. I wasn’t sure about that. I mean, I never went before Stephan. It just didn’t feel right.
“It’s okay, Brianna. Pick the one you want.”
I looked at his face, making sure it was really okay, before reaching out and picking one with blueberries and placing it on the napkin in front of me.
Stephan and his uncle each chose a bagel for themselves, and then Dr. Cooper pushed a tub of cream cheese toward me. Hesitantly, I opened it and put some on my bagel. Then I offered it to Stephan.
<
br /> He smiled and took it from me, spreading some of the white cheese on his own bagel. When he was finished, he handed the container to his uncle before taking a bite. As soon as he’d begun eating, I did as well.
I was trying to relax like he’d said. He was right here with me, and I trusted that he wouldn’t let anything bad happen to me, but I knew his uncle was watching. I could feel his eyes on me.
Halfway through my bagel, Dr. Cooper cleared his throat again. “As I said earlier, Brianna, I wanted to come by this morning to apologize to you. I won’t pretend that I completely agree with Stephan on this matter, but I can see for myself that you’ve improved over your time here. I can’t dispute that.”
He pushed back from the table a little, and I tensed. I felt Stephan’s comforting hand on my leg.
My gaze met his uncle’s. It was difficult for me to continue to look at him, but I tried. “Stephan has informed me that in my worry for you I’ve caused you distress, and for that, I am truly sorry.”
I swallowed. He seemed to be waiting on me to say something. “Okay.”
Dr. Cooper stayed for another half an hour. He calmly ate another bagel, and talked casually with Stephan. I heard some discussion about the two of us going to Sunday dinner again, but Stephan responded that he’d think about it.
When he got up to leave, he asked Stephan to walk him down to the lobby.
Stephan hugged me and gave me a brief kiss before leaving with his uncle, telling me to go get dressed. I was nervous the entire time he was gone. Dr. Cooper must have wanted to talk about something he didn’t want me to hear. I only hoped he wasn’t trying to convince Stephan that I should leave.
Stephan
As soon as I’d realized it was my uncle calling, I assumed the worst. It didn’t take a genius to realize that by showing up unannounced, he was hoping to get a better glimpse of our lives. I wasn’t sure if he was hoping he’d catch us in the middle of something or just wanted to catch us off guard. Either way, I wasn’t thrilled, but he was my uncle, so I gave him more leeway than most.
Thankfully, he behaved himself. Brianna was nervous—she had every right to be after their last encounter—but she’d done well. Her fear had not gripped her to the point she was unable to react or respond.
I knew Richard’s gaze kept drifting toward Brianna throughout our meal. He was watching our interaction closely.
When he asked me to walk him downstairs, I wasn’t surprised. I was sure he’d have an opinion on this morning.
He didn’t disappoint. As soon as the elevator doors closed, he began. “Don’t you think you’re a little old to be leaving love bites?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Here I was thinking he was going to comment on Brianna’s reluctance to select a bagel or her waiting to begin eating until I had started, but no. No. He zeroed in on the now-barely-there hickey I’d left on her. “You’re going to lecture me about giving a girl a hickey? I’m not sixteen anymore, Richard.”
“No,” he said. “You’re nearly twenty-five years old with a young woman in there who trusts you to take care of her. And against my better judgment, I’m trying to accept that neither you nor she is willing to seek professional help. But Stephan, do you really think that acting this way is the best thing for her? I’ve done some research into your . . . lifestyle. It still seems . . . barbaric to me, but I do see where the rules and structure could be good for her. I just don’t think sexual—”
“Enough,” I said. I kept my voice even, but firm. “What I do or don’t do with Brianna, sexually or otherwise, is not your business. I wouldn’t do anything to her that she doesn’t wish for me to do. You’re just going to have to accept that, whether you like it or not.”
“Surely, you’re not thinking . . . ?”
“Let me ask you this. How many years do you think it would take a therapist to get her to the point she is now? You saw her in the beginning. You know how bad she was. Can you honestly tell me that a professional could do better?”
He was shaking his head. I knew he didn’t like what I was saying. “The speed of the recovery is not the point. It is the overall health of the patient that—”
“She is not a patient!”
His face paled. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d raised my voice to my uncle.
The elevator doors opened, and he stepped forward, turning his back against one of the doors to hold it open. “I’m sorry I upset you. It wasn’t my intention. I am trying here, but I won’t pretend that I’m not concerned for her well-being, or what you’re doing with her. She’s vulnerable right now. I won’t say anything else in front of her because, you’re right, it will only upset her. I will not, however, censor my thoughts or feelings from you on the matter.” He took a deep breath and turned to look out into the parking garage. “Your aunt would like for you to come to dinner again. Both of you. I understand if that doesn’t mean tomorrow, but it would mean a lot to her if it was soon.”
He didn’t wait for my answer before stepping out and allowing the doors to close behind him.
The ride back up to my condo seemed to take forever. I knew we couldn’t avoid my family long term, but I wasn’t ready to face dinner with them again. Jimmy and Samantha had been there last week, and chances were they’d be regular guests for the foreseeable future. I was pretty sure Jimmy would leave us alone unless his wife put pressure on him again.
Diane wasn’t a problem. The concern there was more of her smothering Brianna with affection than anything else. Just the thought of my aunt doting over Brianna made me smile. I was hoping Brianna would be in my life for a long time, and it was good that at least one of my family members loved her.
No. Richard was the big hurdle, but I had to admit today’s visit had gone better than expected, even with the talk. I’d asked him not to upset Brianna, and he’d followed my instructions. I had to pick my battles.
Walking through the door of my condo, I scanned the room for Brianna. I’d told her to get dressed while I was gone, but that shouldn’t have taken long.
I headed to her room to see if she was perhaps still getting ready. What I found caused a deep ache in my chest. Brianna was dressed and sitting on her bed, her knees pulled up to her chest. I couldn’t see her face, but by her posture, I could tell she was upset.
The bed shifted as I climbed onto it to sit beside her. I reached for her. At the feel of my touch, Brianna turned and clung to me as if her life depended on it. She was crying.
“Shh. You’re okay,” I said, running my fingers through her hair. She climbed onto my lap, and I held her. As she calmed down, I brushed the hair away from her face. “Tell me why you’re so upset.”
“I don’t know.”
With my index finger, I lifted her chin so she was looking at me. “Yes, you do. What are you feeling?”
She started to look down, but I adjusted my grip on her chin. “I’m not . . . good enough and . . .”
“And?”
“How could Dr. Cooper believe that horrible woman? How could he . . . ?”
The words died in her throat as more tears fell. I wiped them away with my thumbs.
“First of all, you are good enough, Brianna. I’m not sure why you think you’re not. As for my uncle believing Tami . . . I think it was more shock than anything. My uncle, as many parents, continues to see the children they raised—or helped raise, in this case—as kids. It’s hard enough for them to acknowledge their children have sex lives, let alone ones that include things that are outside of the norm.”
“You’re not a bad person,” she said in a firm, determined voice.
“Thank you.” I smiled, kissing her forehead.
With that, she smiled and snuggled back into my chest.
I’d had plans for us this morning that included working out and then a walk in the park, but I was content to sit with her on her bed for now. There was always tomorrow.
Stephan
We both ended up falling asleep on her bed.
The
only woman I’d ever woken up in bed with was my first submissive, Sara, and it had never felt like this. With Sara, I’d been indifferent about it. The few times it had happened were more accident than anything else, much as this had been. But with Sara, there hadn’t been this warm feeling that waking up next to her was where I most wanted to be. I began working on excuses to get Brianna into my bed.
What struck me the most, however, was that this feeling wasn’t only sexual. That desire was still there, but if all I could do was hold her, then I would take it.
The phone rang, causing Brianna to shift on my lap. I answered it before it could wake her. “Hello.”
“Good afternoon, Mr. Coleman.” I glanced at the clock beside her bed and saw that it was in fact after noon. I’d need to wake her soon, whether I wanted to or not. “There is a Mr. Cal Ross here to see Miss Reeves.”
I glanced down at her sleeping form. Even if she had been awake, she’d had a stressful morning and, if I was being honest with myself, I needed some time with her today that was just us. “Let me talk to him.”
“Yes, sir.”
A few seconds passed before I heard Cal’s voice come on the line. “Anna?”
“No.”
“Where’s Anna, Coleman?” he barked.
“Brianna is unavailable at the moment.”
“Why?”
I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. It wouldn’t do any good losing my temper with him. “She’s taking a nap.”
“Oh,” he said, as if not expecting such a simple answer. It didn’t take him long to recover, however. “Will you tell her I came by to see her?”
“Yes. However, might I suggest that you call first before you show up on my doorstep?”
“Why?”
“Because it’s rude to show up unannounced.” Did his parents not teach him any manners?
Silence.
“I don’t have your number.”
“That can be easily fixed if you ask for it. Politely.”
I heard him exhale loudly. “May I please have your phone number so I may call Brianna?”
Need (Finding Anna) Page 15
