“What did you mean then?” Her brain was fuzzy. It was hard to concentrate on anything when he was kissing her neck and his cock was getting hard again inside of her.
“I mean,” he placed several quick kisses along her collarbone, “I want you. All of you, Amy.” Josh took her face into his hands and made her look at him. He said nothing for else for several moments, but he continued to move inside of her. Staring into his eyes while he fucked her was the single most erotic thing she’d ever experienced.
“Josh,” she whimpered.
“Shh…” He kissed her on the mouth, and then said, “Let’s get out.”
His abrupt change in demeanor shocked her. “Okay.” Amy climbed off his lap and got out of the hot tub. She grabbed her towel from the ground and wrapped it around her body. Josh got out and Amy couldn’t stop from staring. Not because he was naked and looked like an Adonis, but because she couldn’t figure him out. What had changed? One minute he was telling her that he wanted her, and the next he was telling her to get out.
Josh wrapped the towel around his waist and walked to the lounge chairs. He knelt beside one, did something she couldn’t see, and then the back of the chair flattened, making it look like a bed. He stood and turned to her. “Come here.”
Amy gripped the towel tight to her body and walked over to him, unsure what he was going to say or do. The only thing she was sure of was that he still had an erection. A big one. Josh tugged at her towel and it fell to the floor around her feet. Then he dropped his, too. Her breath caught.
Without a word, Josh guided her down onto the lounge chair, and then he settled on top of her. He rested his bent arms on either side of her head and smoothed the hair from her forehead. “I want you to be mine, Amy.”
She arched her back and gasped when he spread her legs and entered her with one swift movement. “Oh, god….” Amy dug her nails into the hard flesh of his biceps.
“Mine,” he repeated, pushing in and out of her slowly.
“Yes,” she moaned.
He stilled. “When I say that, I mean exactly that. You’re not just some woman I occasionally sleep with. I want to know that you won’t be with anyone else.”
Amy’s heart raced and her throat went dry. Josh wanted a commitment from her? Did she hear that correctly? All thoughts left her mind as he started to thrust in and out of her. She moaned and writhed beneath him, wanting more.
“Say it, Amy. Say that you’re mine.”
A commitment to a man like Josh was a risk for so many reasons. But as she lay here with him, she could think of nowhere else she wanted to be because quite frankly, being in Josh’s arms and being in his bed and in his life felt pretty goddamned fantastic. Since meeting him, Amy had felt alive again. She felt like a real woman, like she was important and needed. “Yes,” she whispered without allowing herself to think about it another second. “I’m yours Josh, all yours.”
He made a sound like a snarl, and then crushed his mouth over hers. But despite the hungry, demanding intensity of his kiss, he kept his rhythm steady. And that’s when she realized…he wasn’t just fucking her like he’d done every other time; he was making love to her. That knowledge rocked her to the core and reaffirmed the one thing she’d been trying to deny: she was in love with Joshua Hunter.
*
She’d agreed! He couldn’t believe it. Amy was his. “She’s mine,” he said in response to both her answer and the feel of her tightening around him. Being inside of her without a condom was one of the best feelings in the world and he knew that he didn’t ever want to go back.
Amy reached around and grabbed his ass, squeezing and pulling him deeper into her as she clenched painfully around him. He wasn’t ready for this to end just yet, so he pulled completely out of her and stood. “Josh,” she whined.
He smiled as he lifted her from the chair and carried her inside. “I was about to come.”
“So was I,” she said with a hint of annoyance. “That’s the second time you’ve done that to me tonight.”
Josh gently placed her on the bed and brought his body over hers. “I’m not wearing a condom,” he said, teasing her with an almost kiss. She groaned with frustration.
“That didn’t seem to bother you when we were in the hot tub. So why does it matter now?”
“It doesn’t to me. I like feeling your hot, wet pussy wrapped around my bare cock.”
“So then what’s the problem?”
“Are you on any birth control?”
Her face paled and her eyes widened. “No,” she whispered, shocked at her own admission. “I never had a reason to be.”
He eyed her curiously, wondering what she meant and knowing she wasn’t a virgin when they’d met.
“Right before I met you, I’d just broken off my engagement to a guy I’d been dating for several years. Early in our relationship he went and had a vasectomy because he didn’t want kids.” Amy draped her arm over her face. “Josh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think.”
Josh moved her arm from her face and kissed her tenderly on the mouth. Having children was something he’d never thought about, but if Amy wound up pregnant after tonight, he’d be more than okay with that. He spread her legs with his knees and settled between them, letting his hard cock rest against her warm, inviting pussy lips. “I’m going to finish making love to you, Amy, so the only question is: condom or no condom?”
“No con—” Her words trailed off into a moan when he pushed inside of her.
“Fuck, baby, you feel so good.”
“So do you.” Amy captured his lips and demanded a kiss that he willingly gave.
“Look at me,” he said in between kisses. “I want to watch you when I make love to you.” Josh held her gaze as he continued to kiss her, finding a steady pace that was controlled and slightly lazy. “I want to see your face when I come inside of you.” Her eyelids started to close and he kissed each of them. “Keep them open, baby.”
“I can’t…” She shook her head and arched her neck, holding onto him for dear life. Her orgasm was coming fast and he felt every pulse of her walls.
The feel of her writhing beneath him, of her clinging to him, and coming apart in his arms – it was glorious and he felt himself losing control, too. “Amy, look at me.” The need to look into her eyes when they came together was all-consuming. When her eyes snapped open and she looked at him, he felt his heart stop.
“I’m gonna come,” she cried, and then screamed his name.
Josh put all of his weight into his arms and rammed his cock as far into her as he could. She screamed again and bucked against him. He let out a guttural moan. “You’re mine, Amy,” he said, and then collapsed on top of her. He peppered her neck with quick kisses as she stroked his hair. Josh had never felt so content in his life.
***
Amy rolled over and stretched. She felt fantastic and she swore the smile never left her face at all last night. Josh had made her feel things she never thought were possibly. Not just physically, but emotionally as well. Even when Chris had proposed to her, she’d never felt this happy. And the best part: Josh wanted more than just sex from her, which made her feel special.
“Good morning, beautiful.” Josh’s voice was low next to her.
She opened her eyes and looked at him. “Morning.” Damn he was sexy.
“Hungry?”
“Yeah, I’m starved.”
Josh twisted away from her, grabbed a tray, and placed it on the bed. It had a vase with two red roses and breakfast for two – scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, fresh fruit, orange juice, and Belgian waffles. The aroma made her mouth water. She sat up and dug into the food. After several moments, she realized Josh wasn’t eating, but watching her intently.
“What?” she asked self-consciously.
“Nothing.” He smiled. “I just like watching you.”
Amy smiled and looked away from him. His compliments always made her blush, and his gaze was so intense she felt like she was under a microscop
e. “Are you going to eat?”
Josh scooped some whipped cream from the waffles onto his finger and held it out to her. She held his gaze as she licked it from his finger, sucking on it in a purely sexual way. His eyes rolled back and he groaned. “Keep that up and I’m going to eat you for breakfast.”
“Oh my.” She laughed. “Well, for the record, I wouldn’t object if you tried.”
He shook his head. “You’re too damn tempting.” Josh settled on an elbow beside her. “What do you say we go do something today? I was thinking we could take a drive up the lake, stop and get some lunch somewhere, do some sightseeing, and maybe do some shopping.”
Amy froze with fork halfway to her mouth. Josh wanted to go out – in public? She set her fork down. “Uh, I thought the point of this weekend was to be alone, to spend time together and really get to know each other.”
“It is. But we can get to know each other while we’re out, you know. It’s just as easy to talk in the car as it is to talk right here.”
“Well, yeah, I know but…”
“But what?” Josh sat up.
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I just kind of liked the idea of staying here all weekend, of it just being you and me.” Amy took the breakfast tray and set it on the floor. Then she turned back to him and ran her hand down his arm. He jerked away from her and she was taken aback. “Josh?”
He got out of bed and pulled on a pair of cotton shorts. “Is that really why you want to stay here, Amy?”
“What? Yes, of course. What else would it be?” She was a bit unsettled by his sudden change in attitude. A second ago he was joking around about sex and now he was standoffish and angry.
Josh dragged a hand through his hair and blew out a breath. “I don’t know, Amy. Maybe it’s because you’re embarrassed to be seen with me in public.”
“That’s ridiculous.” Amy got out of bed and put on her robe, tying it tightly around her waist.
“Is it? Let’s face it. The rumors about me are true. Being seen with me will ruin your reputation. Just admit it. You’re scared.”
“Yeah, I’m well aware of the rumors about you, Josh, but if that was really an issue for me, I wouldn’t be here right now. So why the hell are you attacking me like this?” she shouted as tears welled up in her eyes.
“I thought you were different than all the others, Amy. I thought you liked me for who I am and not what everyone has made me out to be.”
“I do,” she said, losing the battle to keep her tears at bay. “I don’t understand why you’re acting like this.” She wiped her tears. “If you really want to go out today then we’ll go out.”
“No!” he hollered and pointed at her. “Do not stand there and patronize me.”
Her jaw dropped in shock at his outburst. “Then what do you want, Josh, because you’re not making any sense to me right now.”
“I just want you to be honest with me. Tell me the truth, Amy. You don’t want to be seen in public with me.”
Amy crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him through tear filled eyes. “Fine,” she bit out. “Yes, there are certain people I would prefer didn’t know about us and if we go out in public, they might just find out.”
“I knew it,” he muttered, turning his back toward her.
“But that doesn’t change the way I feel about us or what we’re doing,” she said her tone a little softer. What had gotten into Josh this morning? He was acting like a completely different person. A person she didn’t know and honestly, didn’t like.
“And what exactly are we doing here?” he asked without looking at her.
Amy hesitated, unsure how to answer that, unsure if she should try to go to him, touch him, comfort him. Lord knows she wanted to. She wanted to walk over there and smooth her hands over his shoulders and down his back. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and kiss him, tell him that all of this was just one big misunderstanding.
Josh spun around and scowled at her, a look of pure anger and hurt in his eyes.
“I thought we were having fun,” she said.
“Fun?” The word was clipped, devoid of the emotion she saw on his face.
She sighed with frustration. “Look, Josh, I’m not like you. I don’t do this kind of thing, so I don’t know—”
“This kind of thing?” he sneered. “You told me last night that you’d just gotten out of a serious relationship, so obviously you’ve done this before. Did you shack up in his house all the time, too?”
“Relationship? Is that what you think this is?” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she regretted them. Memories of last night flashed in her mind, of Josh claiming her, coming inside of her, declaring that she was his, of her agreeing to it. “Josh,” she took a step toward him, and then stopped, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”
“You didn’t mean what, Amy? To imply that I’m good enough for a tawdry little affair, but not good enough to be your boyfriend?” He grunted with disgust. “That’s all I’ve ever been to anyone in this town. The sick, twisted, kinky sex freak who lives in the big mansion…the guy who can get a different woman off each night, the guy who…” He hung his head and shook it slowly.
In that moment, Amy’s heart shattered in her chest. She’d hurt him in the worst possible way and hadn’t realized it until it was too late. She wished she could rewind the morning and just say yes when he asked her to go out today. But that wasn’t going to happen, so her only other option was to try to explain, to make him understand.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Josh,” she said, licking her lips and taking a deep breath for courage. “You don’t know my family or how my mother can be. She practically disowned me when I broke off my engagement to Chris. If she found out about this, about us, she would never speak to me again. Neither would my sister. And no matter what has happened between me and them in the past, they are my family and I love them. Their opinions matter to me.”
Josh lifted his head and met her gaze. His eyes were dark and cold. All the emotion she’d seen in them last night when they’d made love was gone. “Well, I guess that’s my answer then.”
“Your answer to what?” She didn’t recall him asking a question.
“To where we stand, to whether or not you might actually be the first and only woman to actually fight to be with me. But it’s clear to me now. I’m just your dirty little secret and you’re just like all the rest.”
Amy actually sobbed at his words. Of all the things he could’ve said, that last statement hurt the worst. She truly thought that, to him, she was different from the countless other woman he’d had in his bed. How could she have been so wrong? She stood on the opposite side of the room, arms crossed, crying and hugging herself, unsure what to say or do.
After several moments of silence, Josh waved his hand in a dismissive way and said, “Just get out.”
“What?”
“I said, get out.” He pointed toward the bedroom door. “Get out of my room, get out of my house, and get out of my life.”
Amy cupped her hand over her mouth and shook her head, staring at him with disbelief. Had he really just kicked her out? “Josh,” she said on a choked cry.
He once again turned away from her, but this time he went out on the balcony and slammed the door behind him. The glass pane rattled from the force of it and Amy’s entire body cringed at the sound of it. She grabbed her bag from the closet, threw her stuff into it, and left Josh’s house in her bathrobe. She’d gone into this weekend with high hopes and expectations. Leaving with a broken heart hadn’t been one of them.
Risking Attraction Book 4: Hard Forever
Josh flung open the balcony door, determined to go back inside and tell Amy how he really felt and how much she’d hurt him. But she was gone. She’d actually left like he told her to. “Shit!” He picked up the lamp on the bedside table and heaved it across the room. It shattered along with Josh’s heart. What the hell had he done? He’d completely overreacted. It was wrong, he knew that
, but that didn’t change the fact that Amy was just like all the other women he’d had in his life. Only, she wasn’t. Not really.
“Son of a bitch.” He slumped down on the floor, back against the bed, and hung his head. Somehow, he had to make this right. Maybe he could still catch her. Maybe she hadn’t left yet. He snatched his cell phone from the dresser, flipped it open, and dialed her number as he ran down the stairs and toward the front door. Her car wasn’t in the driveway and he couldn’t even see her taillights.
Her voicemail picked up. The sound of her voice clutched at his heart, but he was determined to make things right. “Amy, baby…” He sighed. “I’m so sorry. Please, come back so we can talk. I messed up. Please, just give me a chance to explain.” Then he hung up and called her right back. Once again, he was sent directly to her voicemail. “From the bottom of my heart, I am sorry.”
Josh closed the front door and sat on the step that led to the foyer. He tried calling Amy a few more times and each time he got her voicemail. He didn’t leave a message every time, but when he did, he apologized profusely. Maybe, like him, she just needed some time to cool off. One more message, he decided as he dialed her number again. At the prompt, he said, “I don’t know what else to say other than I’m sorry. I won’t bother you again, but please, Amy, please at least think about giving me a chance to explain.”
He hung up and wiped the tears from his eyes. He’d give her the rest of today, and then he’d call her again in the morning. Now all he had to do was make it through the night without her.
***
Amy almost drove off the road twice on her way home. Her constant tears were making it difficult to see anything. And the pain she felt in her chest – that was unbearable. She couldn’t stand it and idly wondered if there was anything on earth that could feel worse than her broken heart. She still hadn’t been able to wrap her mind around what the hell had happened with Josh. To her knowledge, Josh had never cared before that a woman didn’t want to go out in public with him. So why was he freaking out now? Her theory that she was somehow special was the only thing that made sense. But he’d flat out told her she wasn’t.
Risking Attraction Series (Contemporary Romance) Page 6
