by Cole Lepley
She writes fast and smiles down at him. “You have quite the appetite.”
He leans across the table and taps her notepad with his finger. “Sweetheart, you have no idea.”
I can practically see her shiver from the smoothness in his raspy voice. I’m curious how long he spent in the pen. He hasn’t lost his swagger.
Her cheeks flush before she hurries off behind the counter. Perry watches her walk away before facing back to me and smiling.
“So,” he says, folding his hands in front of him. “I hear you had an interesting night.”
I nod and immediately regret it. My head is pounding. The waitress returns with our coffee rather fast, and I’m thankful. The dryness of my mouth is almost as bad as the churning in my stomach.
Perry pours no less than seven creamers in his coffee before he speaks again.
“I want to know where he is.” His eyes are hard as he picks up a spoon and stirs his drink.
“I honestly don’t know. The guys from Yale left the party shortly after the fight. I assume they went home.”
Perry slams his fist on the table and the guy in the booth behind us jumps. “Motherfucker. I knew I should have come here when Zander called the first time.”
“I’m sorry. I should have done more. It was my job to protect her, and I failed.”
His jaw twitches as he shakes his head. “No, it’s my job. That’s why I wanted some time alone with you.”
I swallow hard. Maybe he is going to kill me. I plead my case.
“Listen, man. I care about your sister. I would never, ever hurt her in any way. I… well, I love her.”
Perry laughs again and nudges my shoulder with his fist. “Calm down. I know you’re a good dude. Zander already vouched for you.” His eyes narrow as he leans forward. “I’m talking about that fucking piece of shit, Sean. I should have killed him when I had the chance.”
The amount of revulsion in his voice is unsettling. I still think there’s more to this than she’s letting on. I lean forward on my elbows and lower my voice.
“At the risk of overstepping, what exactly happened? She told me a few things, but I don’t think I know the whole story.”
His nostrils flare and he glares out of the window for a moment. “He had his hands around her neck.” He shifts his eyes to me and I sink lower in my seat at the intensity they bring. “My sister. My blood. And he thought he would put his hands on her? I lost it.” He shakes his head, the muscle in his jaw pulsing. “I couldn’t stop hitting him. Not when Mack started screaming or when my girlfriend came into the room screaming. I thought I killed him.”
The anger radiating off of him is palpable. If I would have seen Sean physically hurting Mackenzie, I would have done the same thing.
“He was in a coma for almost a week,” Perry continues, taking a sip of his coffee. “I would have done longer, but Mack made a deal. Sean’s parents are very influential people where we come from and they didn’t want it getting out that their son, the fucking golden boy, gets his rocks off by pimping out his girlfriend.”
At this point I’m grateful Perry is more forthcoming than his sister.
“What kind of deal?”
“She can’t talk about it,” he says. “They were both minors and his record is sealed. It’s not exactly truthful either. All the police ever knew is that he assaulted her. I didn’t even know about the videos.” He pauses, rage clouding his features again. “That came after.”
I’m almost afraid to ask.
“After what?”
“Mackenzie has a big heart. Too big. She didn’t leave him after I got arrested. He promised that he would stop if she would go away to college with him. He convinced her he got it out of his system and that he loved her.” He gives me a pointed look. “He didn’t love her.”
That much is obvious. What bothers me the most is why she thought he did. What could make her believe something like that was love?
Our conversation ceases for a moment as our food arrives. Perry shoves several large forkfuls of pancakes in his mouth before nodding to me.
“It got worse when they went to Yale.” He takes another bite, chewing slowly. “Being away from home meant he could get away with a lot more. Less people knew him and the risk of getting ousted wasn’t as great.” He scoffs. “Not that he would care. He’s proud of what he did to her.”
I clutch the ceramic handle of my cup a little tighter. “I saw the scar.” He stops chewing and meets my eyes again. “On her wrist. She did that because of him.”
He gives a stiff nod. “He threatened to post the videos online when she finally broke up with him. The only reason he didn’t is because she…” His eyes lower and sadness breaks through his rugged exterior. “She’s lucky someone found her when they did. If it went another hour…”
His voice trails off and my heart pounds in my chest. I knew it had to be bad, but hearing it out loud is almost unbearable. Just the thought of Mack losing her life because of someone like him guts me.
Perry cracks his neck and reaches for his cup again. “That’s why I’m here. I can’t let her live in fear that someday that asshole will release that shit to the world.”
“I know, and I think I have what you need.”
He lets out a grim laugh. “You have a shallow grave picked out for me to dump his body in?”
I reach into my pocket with a smile. “I got one better.” I toss Sean’s phone to the table. “He saved every one.”
Chapter 26
Save Yourself
Mackenzie
My phone has been blowing up since late last night. I’m not sure of the number, but the area code is from home. It’s obviously Sean trying to trick me into answering. As fucked up as it sounds, I still have his number programmed in my phone. I would like to believe it’s so I can avoid his call, but I’m not positive. If I’m being honest, a part of me wishes that one day he’ll wake up and realize how terrible he was, and when that day comes he’ll call me and tell he really did love me. At least then I wouldn’t feel so disposable.
When my phone rings for the tenth time in five minutes, I throw my covers off of me in frustration. Not that I got any sleep, anyway. The betrayal on Judah’s face is still burned into my mind. I’m not sure if I love him, but I know that I care about him.
A lot.
After tossing my phone onto my dresser, I throw on a pair of sweatpants and head out in search of my brother. His surprise appearance last night still has me nervous. He’s only been out a few months and is already plotting his next felony. I don’t have to wonder if he would murder Sean. I know he would.
When I reach the living room and see the blankets still stacked in a neat pile, I let out a disgruntled sigh. He never listens to anyone.
After calling his phone three times, and having it go straight to voicemail, I stomp to the kitchen. Zander is sitting at the small dinette table with a bowl of cereal. His spoon hangs in mid-air when he sees my face.
“Good morning?”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Where is he?”
He takes another bite, prolonging giving me an answer that will piss me off.
“Who are you referring to exactly? A lot happened yesterday.”
I cross my arms, deepening my glare. “You know who I’m talking about. Where is Perry?”
“Well,” he says, resting his spoon in his bowl. “He paced around the apartment for about three hours and then I heard him rummaging around in the kitchen drawers. I think he was looking for something to make a shank with.” He whispers the last part and then laughs. Usually I find his humor cute, but right now, I’m worried.
I walk over and take the seat across from him. “It’s not funny, Zander. This is serious. He doesn’t even have his phone so I can call him.”
Zander waves his hand dismissively before grabbing his spoon again. “He probably just went for a walk or something. I don’t think they gave him a lot of time in the yard.” He smiles again and I let out another groan.
/>
“Will you please quit making jokes? You don’t know him like I do.”
His eyes search mine for a moment. “Do you want to talk about Judah?”
“No.”
He raises an eyebrow. “That was a quick answer. Which means you’re lying.”
My eyes fall to the placemat in front of me. “I was so awful to him.” I look up at him. “I feel awful.”
Zander drops his spoon again and leans over to pat my hand. “Then tell him. I’m sure he’ll forgive you.”
I shake my head. “No. I did what I needed to do. He has so much good happening for him right now. Getting in this further with me will only ruin it. I don’t want that for him.”
“You’re being stupid,” he spits back at me.
Before I can form a response, the sound of the front door opening jolts me from my seat. Perry strolls in with a smirk on his face. I breathe a sigh of relief until I see Judah walk in behind him.
I meet Perry in the living room as he’s taking off his boots. “I thought I told you not to go anywhere.”
He rolls his eyes. When he doesn’t reply, I keep going.
“Where did you even go? Why did you turn your phone off?”
Perry shrugs. “My battery died.”
“Do you even have your license?”
“Do you think dad would let me drive if I didn’t?”
“You never listen anyway. I have no idea what you’ve been doing back home.”
My voice is getting heated at his reckless behavior. Even though I’m used to it, I’m hoping he’s being careful this time.
“Jesus, Mack. Will you fucking chill already?” He steps past me and walks toward the kitchen. After grabbing a beer from the fridge, he props himself against the counter. “If you would let me talk, then I could tell you we have some good news.”
I look between him and Judah. “We? How did you guys even meet each other?”
“I found him sleeping outside your door this morning,” Perry says as if it’s a completely normal thing to find. I look back to Judah, and he shoves his hands in his pockets and shrugs a little.
I feel like an asshole. I knew he was upset last night, but I thought he would go back to the party and stay with his friends.
“Why did you do that?” I ask, taking a step closer to him. I stop when I see the look on his face. He looks wrecked and I know it’s because of me. He doesn’t understand why I need it to be this way, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to find the words to explain it to him.
“I needed to make sure you were okay.”
“I’m fine.”
He raises an eyebrow and looks me over. I’m sure it’s obvious I didn’t sleep either.
“Why are you doing this?” he whispers. When his hand reaches over to grab mine, I let him hold it for a moment. What I really want to do is throw my arms around him and never let go. I can’t cling to Judah to pull myself out of this. I have to do it on my own.
Perry clears his throat from behind us, snapping me back to reality. I let my fingers slip through his. “Maybe you want to hear the whole story before you keep jumping to conclusions.”
When I shoot a look back to him, he has moved to lean in the archway leading from the kitchen, Zander is standing behind him.
I turn back to Judah and he pulls something from his pocket. My eyes land on the phone I know isn’t his.
“What is that?”
He smiles. “I stole Sean’s phone last night. That’s why I hit him… well, it’s not the only reason, but I needed to get close enough.”
Judah’s hand extends out to me again and my stomach drops. I know Sean. I know those videos are still on there, and probably a few more I’ve never seen. I reach out and take it from him, my hands shaking.
“Thank you.” My voice is clipped and I take a step toward my bedroom. He grabs my arm before I make it all the way past.
“Thank you?”
“Yes, thank you.” I look to his hand on my arm, and he pulls it back with a sigh.
“That’s all you have to say?”
I raise my shoulders and then let them slump at my sides. “What do you want me to say?’
He runs a hand through his hair and laughs once. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe you owe me a little more of an explanation than you gave me last night in the street.” He lowers his voice during the last part, and my heart beats faster.
I look over his shoulder at Perry who’s eyeing us curiously, Zander is biting his lip in anticipation. My eyes drift back to Judah’s. “I said everything I needed to say.” I tighten my grip on the phone. “And I am thankful for this, but I want you to leave.”
He leans down to me. “We can end this now. You have everything you need to put him away for a long time.”
His words bring me minimal comfort. It won’t be that easy. I’ve gone toe to toe with Sean before and I wasn’t the one who won.
“Mack?” Perry says, cutting through the tension again. “Let’s get that fucker. If you won’t let me kill him, at least let me send him somewhere other people can hurt him.”
I look between the three sets of eyes staring at me, waiting for me to say something that makes sense to them. When I finally do speak, I know that it won’t.
“I’m not going to do anything with them.”
Perry growls. “What? How can you say that?”
“Yeah, babe. He doesn’t deserve to walk around free after what he did to you,” Judah adds, reaching for me again.
I close my eyes for a moment. When I open them again, all of my pent-up rage spews out.
“You’re right, it happened to me. To me,” I emphasize, pulling my hands into my chest. “And maybe I don’t want to think about it anymore. I just want to forget about it.”
Perry shakes his head. “You can’t do that. Pretending it didn’t happen isn’t going to solve anything.”
“I’ll be the one who decides this time,” I say, my voice firm. I look between them again with purpose. “Beating on Sean and pissing him off only makes this worse. He left me alone for almost a year and now I just want him to go away again. Let me handle this.”
I don’t wait for their protests to ring out again. I walk down the hallway to my bedroom and slam the door. It may seem like a childish thing to do, but I’ve had enough of the interrogation. Everyone judges me for the choices I made and the ones I’m making now, but I know this is the right thing to do. I know I can protect the ones I love the most by taking this on alone.
The pounding on my door proves that one person isn’t going to accept my choice.
“Open the door, Mack. Please talk to me.”
Hearing the ache in Judah’s voice stabs my heart. I pause with my hand on the doorknob and take a deep breath. If I let him in, I don’t think I’ll be able to ask him to go.
Chapter 27
Don’t Forget About Me
Judah
Banging my fist on Mack’s door makes me feel desperate, but I need her to hear me. I want her to know that I’m here and I’m not leaving because this is hard. I want to be the one she can lean on when she needs someone.
I knock harder when I get no response. “Mackenzie,” I grit out in a low growl. “Stop acting like this and let me in.”
I catch Perry glaring at me out of the corner of my eye. When I look at him he points his finger to me in warning.
“I like you Judah, but I don’t think I need to remind you I served time for that girl.” He lowers his hand and gives me a hard look. “Slow your roll.”
I nod once and press my palm flat on the door, lowering my voice to a respectable tone. “Just open the door, please.”
Holding my breath, I wait for her to answer. It feels like an eternity before the door clicks and pulls open. She meets my eyes with uncertainty. “You’re not going to let this go are you?”
“No, not really. Can I come in?”
She takes a step to the side and I walk in and pull the door closed behind me. It was difficult to have a conserva
tion with her while Zander and Perry were watching. Maybe now that we’re alone she’ll be more reasonable?
Mackenzie takes a seat on the edge of her bed, placing the palms of her hands on the top of her thighs. She takes an unsteady breath. “You have to know that I never wanted to hurt you. This is why I didn’t want to get involved with you in the first place.”
“It’s a little late for that.” Her eyes widen at the harshness in my tone, but I can’t help it. “I’m invested in this whether you want me to be or not.” I pause, kneeling down so I can face her straight on. “And I think you want me to be.”
When she starts to cry, I move to sit beside her. I wrap my arms around her shoulders and she leans into my chest. “Of course I want you to be here.”
I run my hand up and down her arm and kiss the side of her head. “I am. I’m here.”
She picks her head up. “It would be selfish of me to ask you to keep being a part of this.” She brushes a tear from her eye. “There’s so much I need to get through and I know how messed up everything is, but I don’t want to be a burden to you anymore.”
My brows knit together. “You’re not a burden to me. I told you from the beginning I would take this as slow as you needed me to. That if you needed anything from me all you had to do was ask. I meant all of those things then and I still mean them now.”
She shakes her head and looks away from me. “I know that. I just don’t want you to.” Her breath hitches in her throat. “I might not even stay here.”
My heart pounds in my chest. She’s leaving?
“What are you talking about?” The pace of my heart spikes in a panic. I can’t let her run away again, no matter how terrible things seem. That’s no way to live your life.
She takes a moment before she answers me, reaching over and taking my hand in hers.
“I got an internship in London next semester. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go, but now I’m thinking maybe I should.”
