Now I concentrated to slow my breathing again because it had picked up to near hyperventilation level. When I was as calm as I was ever going to be, I answered aloud, “At least give me a warning when you’re going to do something. How the hell am I supposed to live with you in my head? Are you the reason I know so much? Is it you that’s been in the Web all this time? Do you just supply me information when I think it? Do you ever take over my body?”
My heart went into giddy-up mode again.
“First of all, calm down before you stroke us out.”
I couldn’t get a grip.
Silver said, “I mean it, Sister, center yourself. I will not answer any of your questions until you calm down.”
I forced myself to focus on the drain in the big sink next to me and breathed in slowly through my nose and out my mouth until I felt a steadiness take hold, which Silver reinforced with a rush of reassurance.
Cheerfully Silver chirped, “There, that’s much better! Now where were we…? You want to know if I can take over or ‘pilot’ our body? The answer to that question is most of the time, no. If you’re under stress and reach for me, then yes I can temporarily take over but not without your consent. You’re the dominant twin, and this body is mostly yours with only pieces of me included. We are a chimera.”
As Silver thought the word ‘chimera’ at me, a dictionary style definition was sent as well.
“I get that ‘chimera’ refers to a Greek mythological creature that’s part lioness, part goat, and part snake. I even know what the medical term chimerism is in the instance of twins. Usually, though, one embryo dies as it’s absorbed by the other. How are you still here?” I asked.
“It’s not from a dictionary,” Silver informed as she picked up on my thought. “It’s a quote from someone’s memory of reading an article online when they were worried about bad things that can happen when you carry twins. Turns out she should have been worried because she died giving birth. The article is an accurate description of what happened to us; only I didn’t die. Probably because we’re Weavers, and you’re the surviving twin and host in one. The condition may be more normal than people know because no one gets diagnosed unless they’re having health issues. So you see, we are normal, Sister.”
I snorted out loud and then looked around me in the laundry room to make sure I was still alone. It would be just peachy if anyone noticed me talking to myself.
“What did you mean we aren’t going to have our menses anymore? How can you do that if I’m in control of our body?”
“The concept of control is mainly who is in charge of moving us around in the physical world. The concept of the physical world, the mind, and the soul all being separate is an illusion,” replied Silver. “The Trinity, as Gerome explained, really does and doesn’t exist. Once you give up the concept of boundaries, anything is possible. When you went into the Web the second time, you discovered what I just explained. The whole concept of ‘you are where you think you are when you think it’ applies to everything. What makes the Web? Where is it? How can distance mean nothing there?”
I sighed. Silver was turning out to be a riddler, answering questions with questions. “So mind over matter, the power of the mind and all that jazz? That still doesn’t explain how you stopped my body’s natural function without my knowledge or permission.”
I thought for a minute and realized this wasn’t that bad. It was like having a best friend that never left or a family member forever by your side, except in my case it was inside. I could now recall all the times we had played together when I was small. I even remembered Silver being sad about not having a name and telling ‘her’ that her name could be Quicksilver because she was fast as fast can be in the Web.
At the time, Mom had been reading us the story of the Gingerbread Man over and over, because we loved when he taunted, “Fast as fast can be, you’ll never catch me!” Eventually, the name got whittled down to Silver.
“Are you my sister or my brother? I want to say she or her when I think about you, but I don’t know do I? Do you know?”
Silver shot back, “I don’t think it matters if I’m your brother or your sister since I do, and I don’t have a body of my own. Let’s just say I’m your sister and leave it at that. In answer to your question about your natural bodily function, I just sent a block to our hormone production temporarily so we won’t get our cycle. We can still get married and have babies later. It isn’t going to hurt us not to have our menses right now.”
I almost swallowed my tongue and spoke out loud in surprise. “Seriously, you think I can get married and have children with someone but never tell them about you? You’re nuts, and anyway, I’m only thirteen. The last thing I’m thinking about is marriage and children.”
I thought steadily about all the times my ‘inner voice’ had emotions that were different than what I was experiencing which made me think about this morning when the alarm went off and the strange dream I’d had. I spoke out loud again because it made me feel better. “Silver, did you do something to Kara? Did you find her in the Web and bring her back to her body?” Breath held, absolutely terrified of what she would say, I waited.
“Why, are you scared? I can feel you’re afraid, Sister. The answer to your question is yes, I found her and yes I brought her back to her body. I even rebooted her whole system and fixed a few things that were going to go wrong later. You wanted James to stay, so now he’ll stay. Doesn’t that make you happy?”
The way Silver responded was almost a smug taunt. My heart started to beat faster again, and my breathing picked up. I felt like I wanted to cry, pull out my hair, and scream all at the same time. Abruptly my heart slowed, and I felt a warm unnatural relaxation.
“You did something to make me calm down! Did you stimulate my dopamine receptors?”
I felt a satisfied arrogant gush of emotions. “I can do it any time I like if you won’t do it for yourself. Stress isn’t good for our body so get with the program and calm down, Drama Queen.”
“I’m calm now. You can stop, Silver.” Another thought crossed my mind. “If you could restore Kara’s body, mind, and soul to its original state does that make us like the Soul Eater?”
That thought made me sick, and my stomach started to roll so much I put both hands on the edge of the sink and leaned over it just to be safe.
“If you’re comparing us to Laser Eyes that’s just pathetic. That idiot doesn’t have half the talent we do, even with all those stolen years of living. If we ever run into the sick bastard again, we’re going to rip his soul to shreds and let the pieces drift off into the universe. We are not a Soul Eater. We could do what he does and take over another person’s body, but we have no desire to do so, do we? Don’t fret, Sister, I promise you I will never let us be like him.”
The emotion was so strong behind what Silver thought, I didn’t doubt her; she would protect us. This was too much too fast, but I had no way to separate myself from Silver to think and come to terms with what we were on my own. I had to keep moving forward and fight my way through this new state of being without driving myself crazy.
“What did you mean you rebooted Kara’s system and fixed a few things that would go wrong later? Did you manipulate her DNA?” What a scary thought.
I could feel Silver trying to sort out how to explain it to me. “Kara had some codes present that would have led to cancer some time later in her life. I didn’t know how only to affect those codes, so I just synched her DNA to ours and semi-copied it, using us as a model. It’s easier for me to manipulate us than other people and I wasn’t sure if it would work. We’d touched her skin to skin, so I made a virus that could transmit by contact. Human beings are organic computers—think of it as sending a good virus as opposed to a bad virus that hacks your body and sets things straight. I can do some things just in the Web, but for her reboot, I needed to address the physical world as well.”
“If you weren’t sure how it would work, why did you risk her life?” I aske
d out loud. “She isn’t a lab rat; she’s a person! How is that any better than the Soul Eater?” I was so furious my hands would have been shaking if they weren’t still gripping the sink.
“Calm down, Crybaby, we wouldn’t have caused any harm. If she had reacted badly, I would have reversed it. If Kara ever starts to have issues, I only have to touch her in the Web since we’ve already touched her twice in the physical world. Don’t have a cow. Besides, if we hadn’t brought her out of it, she would have died. Is that a better alternative?”
I pondered it for a moment. If she had died, James would have had to make a decision about following the last remaining member of his family into death or going on solo. I knew what it felt like to feel alone even though I never really had been, in truth.
My answer would have to be yes; I was glad Kara wasn’t dead, and Silver had taken a chance on fixing her. I released my grip on the sink. This time, the relaxation felt natural.
“Is there any way you can give me a break for a bit and give me time to collect my thoughts?” I asked. “I’m not trying to block you out, but I think I need time. Is it possible for you to do that?”
Silver seemed to chew over my question. “Yes, I can do that, Sister. Just know you may not feel my presence if I choose for you not to, but I’m always slightly aware of you no matter what I’m doing in the Web. I don’t think I can help it; it’s the way we are.”
“That’s okay, I understand. I appreciate your honesty, Silver. I just need at least the illusion of a few moments alone to gather my wits. I promise not to do anything rash, and I will keep this to myself as you requested.”
A satisfied feeling came through from her. “I wouldn’t let you do anything rash anyway, Sister. Remember, I’m fast as fast can be, you’ll never get away from me.” With a mental laugh, she seemed to be gone.
What the hell was I going to do now?
Chapter Eight: Carbon Copy
I turned away from the sink just in time to hear rapid footsteps on the wood floor. Kara came into view instead of David as I had anticipated. James’ sister stopped, and we both took a visual assessment of one another. I noticed she didn’t have any shoes on either.
When I got all the way up to Kara’s elegantly slanted eyes, I saw they were mostly the same green as her brother but with light brown flecks around the pupil. I held the eye contact without blinking.
Kara broke first and looked down at her sock covered feet. “Do you know why I woke up? It sounds crazy, but I think you do.”
Her voice was soft and unsure as if she thought I would laugh at her. It broke my heart to hear another person sound so fragile. I had an urge to protect her, which was silly since she was almost a foot taller than me.
It seemed unfair to lie in response. Her life was being affected no matter what secrets Silver thought I needed to keep. As that thought crossed my mind, I realized Silver hadn’t explicitly told me not to talk about what had happened with Kara. She had only requested I not tell anyone about our unique situation.
I deflected the question with a question. “I thought Maggie was conducting a physical evaluation? Is she done already?”
Kara shifted from foot to foot in the doorway to the hallway, and the floorboards crackled. “They’re worried about me, so they told me to find you as a distraction. They’re out there discussing me as if I have no say. Are you going to answer my question?”
She looked back up, this time, it was me who broke.
“I do know why you woke up. I can’t tell you how I know right now. Would you trust me if I say it’s better for no one else to hear about this, even James? What do you think James and Maggie are worried about?”
My heart was beating faster at my small admission and what Kara’s reaction would be. It wouldn’t do for Silver to come back just yet if I was bending the secrecy rules more than she’d like.
Kara sighed, and her shoulders slumped. “I’m glad I’m not crazy. Ever since I woke up, I’ve been feeling like I’m missing something. That’s one of the reasons I left the clinic when I woke up. James thinks it was disorientation and fear, and I let him. When you arrived with Maggie, the feeling went away. I won’t tell anyone about you if you promise to tell me later what you did.”
I nodded, which satisfied something in her.
She straightened before saying, “James and Maggie are upset because my body isn’t the same as it was.” When she made the last comment in her calm, quiet voice, she raised her hand to gesture vaguely toward her eyes.
“What do you mean your body isn’t the same as it was?” I had a terrible feeling I knew, but I had to ask. Silver had explained about the physical reboot modeled after my DNA but what did it mean for Kara? Would she carry some of my DNA now or had Silver only used it as a guide? Silver mentioned some ‘things’ that might go wrong for Kara down the road but had only addressed cancer. What other ‘things’ had my ‘sister’ corrected, and had they needed fixing?
“My eyes are a different color, and every scar I ever had is gone. Even my birthmark is missing,” Kara replied.
My guts felt like they sunk to rest at my feet. What had Silver done? My expression must have reflected my inner worry because Kara moved toward me. When her fingers brushed mine, she mellowed. With a gentle tug, Kara enfolded me.
I let Kara hold me. She rested her chin on top of my head which felt strange. With my ear pressed to Kara's sternum, I could hear her steady, reassuring heartbeat.
Kara spoke, creating a muffled stereo sound, “Cassandra, I think I’m okay. I feel fine. Anything is better than coming apart in the Web. I could feel myself dying, and I didn’t know how to stop it. Pieces of me drifted away into nothing bit by bit. Then I felt pressure that grew and grew until I was moving and gathering myself all together again. The pain of it was excruciating. I felt a connection to something snap into place, and then I was just…here.” She squeezed me tighter. “Why does it feel so good to be near you?”
I squirmed to indicate I wanted to end our embrace. For a second, I thought Kara might fight me on it. After a hesitation I didn’t like, she let me go.
“I don’t know, Kara. I’m not trying to put you off or make you feel crazy, I promise. I genuinely don’t have the answer. I have no idea why proximity to me should matter to you. I only vaguely know why and how you’re back. I promise if I can find an answer, I’ll share it with you. Are you going to be able to keep this a secret from James or is it too much for me to ask?”
Kara blinked her eyes rapidly as if she was waking from a daze and said in a soft tone, “I’ll do whatever you ask whenever you ask it of me. I owe you my life.”
Silver’s voice popped into my head.
“I take it back, Sister. You can tell her about ‘us.' My little suggestions took root and bore fruit. Kara won’t rat us out.”
I stood still and thought quickly back. “How long have you been listening in, Silver?”
She chuckled. “You’ll never know, will you?”
“What did you do to her? You can’t make her our slave and then claim we aren’t like the Soul Eater. We're worse!”
I was trying not to reflect my inner argument on my face, but Kara was already looking at me curiously since I hadn’t responded to her statement. I guess Silver had decided our conversation was over because I couldn’t feel her at all anymore. I said, “Kara, you don’t owe me anything. You’re free to live your life as you see fit.”
“I know that. I’m not pledging you my undying devotion, but I will honor your request not to tell James as long as you promise to tell him someday. My brother is all I have left. I won’t lose his trust to protect you.”
Kara’s response made me my conscience feel so much lighter. At least, she was proving able to think for herself. Maybe that was why Silver hadn’t bothered to respond?
Silver piped in again, “Because you overreact, Sister. I’m disappointed you think so ill of me.”
I thought back in a firm voice, “Maybe I would trust you if you didn’t
play games. You earn trust, Silver.” I was staring at the white painted wall and concentrating on the inner argument with Silver instead of paying attention to Kara. Fingers brushed my upper arm.
“Hey, are you okay?”
I was so irritated I slapped at Kara’s fingers and snapped, “I’m fine, stop touching me.” As soon as it was out of my mouth I regretted it. She drew in on herself, shrinking from me. When I reached out, contrite, I could see she was hurt.
More footsteps approached. I had to fix this fast, so I yanked her to me in a hug. At first, I thought Kara would reject my peace offering, but then she relaxed against me and rested her chin briefly on the top of my head before she turned to look at the person coming from the hallway.
I’m sure we looked strange, one extremely tall girl hugging another extremely short one in the laundry room of all places. We barely even knew each other, and it was embarrassing to me to be caught being openly affectionate. I was still getting used to touch from Maggie, Gerome, and just recently James, which I guess is why I snapped at Kara’s unexpected fingers brushing my arm when I was distracted by Silver. How in the world was I going to hide talking to someone in my head when I had to interact with people?
I peeked around Kara’s arm, then thought better of it, disengaged from our embrace and moved her to my left keeping an arm around her waist until she was steady on her feet next to me. James stopped in the doorway. The way he was looking at us made me feel strangely guilty. It was an unfamiliar unwanted feeling that made me angry again.
Before I could snap at James for no good reason, Kara’s soft voice caught me off, guard.
“So, are you done discussing me like a science experiment, Brother?”
James blinked and focused on his sister. “That’s not what I was doing, Kara, and you know it. Maggie wants to run some tests to see if anything shows up abnormal in your blood work; that’s all. I’ve got to see about housing arrangements for us when the offices open. You can either stay here with Maggie or come with me.”
Chimera (The Weaver Series Book 1) Page 11
