Of course, the silent treatment isn’t really a punishment if I didn’t give a damn what you had to say in the first place.
The day had been long, and I was exhausted. I had already completed three emergency surgeries in one afternoon. And unlike when I had been working in private practice in Florida, academia didn’t reward you with perks like extra compensation or emergency fees during after hours. Of course that wasn’t why I entered veterinary medicine, but I could understand how it was a struggle for most with the increasing student loan debt and decreasing salaries seen in veterinary medicine as a whole.
None of us were in this field for the money. I smiled at River as she trotted over from behind my desk and hopped in to my lap. Saving the lives of dogs like River, and the amazing sensation created by the human-animal bond that never ceased to fill me with wonder, that was why most of us went in to the selfless field of veterinary medicine.
I closed my eyes and thought back to the last surgery of the afternoon while I rubbed River’s right ear. I had been an emergency C-section on an English Bulldog, just an hour ago. It had been a success. I thought of the image of the anesthesiologist and all the students around the cage just moments ago, all thrilled that the three puppies and mom were doing brilliantly.
Before that it had been an older Great Dane with a GDV, or gastric dilatation and volvulus, the condition most pet owners referred to as the dreaded “bloat”. That patient had not fared as well, losing at least a third of his stomach and his spleen during the two hour long procedure. At least now he was in good hands with the critical care team, but I wasn’t so sure he was going to make it. There was still a decent chance he might pull through. He had been finishing up a plasma transfusion when I had completed my rounds with Tracy, my resident, in the critical care unit just before coming back to the office.
The first surgery of the morning was now completed over seven hours prior, a six-month old kitten that had eaten a needle and thread. It had been the quickest and easiest surgery of the day. I had let Tracy take the reins on that one, letting her be the primary surgeon while I played assistant and helped her perfect some basic surgical skills. That kitten was already eating and trying to play with toys the students had made it, ones made of cardboard that were not likely to cause any future foreign body obstructions. Hopefully a couple more straightforward surgical successes like that and Tracy would start feeling a bit more confident in herself.
But Peter would not see it that way. He never understood when I was called in to work, and despite offering to bring him in for a tour of the hospital numerous times, hoping that meeting some of my patients and seeing the staff in action would open his mind to this world, he’d always declined. I actually stopped telling him success stories from work right after we moved here, as he seemed to be making it clear he really didn’t care. The way he saw it, right now it was my schedule that was the inflexible one, and therefore I seemed to be the one destined to suffer for it. I figured I would get that talking to again when I got home tonight.
River jumped down from my lap and trotted to the office door, forcing me to refocus on the present.
“I’m so sorry girl, let’s get you outside. Your bladder has got to be ready to burst!” I clipped her leash on to her collar and headed for the back door at the end of the hallway, grabbing my bag and jacket on the way.
Was it just dreading the fight to come with Peter that was bothering me so much? Something just didn’t feel right in general. Like I had misplaced something or was missing the big picture.
I had this strange sensation of dread as I stared in to the distance, seeing the sun start to reach the horizon. It was stronger than the usual dread and discomfort of dealing with my failing relationship.
I hadn’t even realized I was staring off at the distant school buildings until River gently tugged at the end of her leash, dragging me back to reality.
“Sorry River, I just have this weird feeling. Like something’s off. What do you think?”
The famous Han Solo quote, “I’ve got a bad feeling about this”, crossed my mind.
River sat down, leaning against my leg to try to offer me some comfort. I looked up and saw some students walking by looking at me strangely. All I could think was that they better not be veterinary students. Aside from the fact that all veterinary students should think it is OK to talk to your dog, they were dressed way too lavishly to fit the part. If they were vet students they had to be first years. Spend a couple rotations on ambulatory covered in cow manure and your attitude towards appearance becomes more about practicality than being fashionable. Of course, that line of thought just reminded me how Peter and I also argued regularly about my appearance, or what Peter called my lack of caring about my appearance.
I looked down at my current facade as I stood up and headed towards my car. My scrubs were surprisingly clean, despite having amniotic fluid spilled down my front side during the C-section. Luckily my surgical gown had protected my scrubs. Now my shoes were another story, but that would be easily remedied with a load of laundry before bed.
I had parked my car a couple lots over, which was closer to the history department’s main building. It’s funny how habits stick. I had started parking there when Peter and I carpooled the first couple days after we arrived at Purdue, but we hadn’t ridden together to work in the last month and a half.
Unlocking my car door, I glanced up as someone shouted across the lot. It was one of the students I had noticed before gawking at me oddly when I talked to River. My attention better focused, I could see that not only was she dressed fashionably, she was a little over the top. She looked like she was heading to a Miami beachfront club for a night of drinks and dancing, not towards a classroom. My legs and arms got goose bumps just from looking at her outfit.
“Mary, wait up!” she shouted ahead.
The girl seemed to be a disturbingly young student despite her very adult outfit. Realizing how old it made me feel I hoped she was in the undergraduate department and not a grad student. She was trotting across the lot towards a girl ahead on the sidewalk. Her skirt was ridiculously too short for the weather, but after living in Florida for a couple years I was a bit of a softy even in this cool autumn climate.
A more aptly dressed girl was waiting for her on the sidewalk. I could see her facial expression from where I stood and smirked to myself when the girl looked just as shocked as I had taking in her friend’s outfit.
Referring to them as girls when they were probably in their early twenties made me sigh a little. I mean, I wasn’t exactly ancient at thirty-three, but I had spent a lot of time on my career. Sometimes it just felt like the entirety of my twenties had been whisked away in some classroom or anatomy lab.
“Looking good for your date with the professor?” chided the girl on the sidewalk as the other reached her from the parking lot. The two locked arms, giggling with their heads close to each other as they walked away.
The joke between the two instantly made me smile and remember one of my favorite movies: an old Indiana Jones flick when the female students in a young Harrison Ford’s class had written secret messages to him on their eyelids as they batted them longingly up at him.
“Two Harrison Ford references popped in my head in one hour. That’s what we’ll do tonight then. I say we watch an Indiana Jones movie. Which one River? I know your favorite is The Temple of Dome, but I am more of a fan of The Last Crusade.” I tried to say that last part with my best Sean Connery accent, but River was the only one I felt confident enough around to perform these silly impressions in front of as it was. I swear she was grinning as I opened the door for her and she hopped in the car, even though my impersonation was terrible.
Turning on the car, the local NPR station went in to full gear again.
--new reports about a meningitis-encephalitis like illness, suspected to be related to a biological leak from a biogenetics laboratory that exploded on the island two days ago. Members from the World Health Organization and U
SAID are currently trying to establish an origin for the illness, and as of yet have not determined the actual organism responsible. The World Heath Organization says it has not yet determined if a quarantine will be esta—
I kind of wanted to hear about any interesting medical news flashes, but figured it would be best to check in on Peter, so I turned off the radio and hooked up my Bluetooth.
I might as well get this dreaded conversation over, right? Just a little bit more time until Thanksgiving break…the phone went straight to voicemail. But the question was had he hit “ignore”, or just left his phone off.
Chapter 10
Twenty minutes later I pulled up to the driveway and saw my cute farmhouse was dark. Correction, our cute farmhouse. We had rented it together after all, but if, I mean when, we break up, I doubt he will have any interest in staying here. It was too rural for Peter.
Walking up the front walkway I found myself kind of just hoping to find his stuff gone. Like he was fed up too, and decided to simply end it on his own. The more I thought about it, it would be a good move for both of us. In fact, I don’t think I would even be mad if he kept things short and left, moving out and breaking ties.
Flicking the light on I saw that had not been the case. Our belongings were still intermingled throughout the place, and there was a note on the stand next to the door.
At the office working on research. You missed a good brunch, again.
Thanks, way to be passive aggressive in a note.
I plopped my bag down and River reappeared with a tennis ball in her mouth.
“Sure girl, you deserve some fun time too after being so good in the office all day,” I told her.
I picked up the baseball bat that I always conveniently left by the front door wherever I had lived since River joined my live. It was the easiest way to get some good fetch in with her, and helped me keep my upper body toned.
After fifteen minutes of fetch we were both inside and I flicked on the TV while I scrolled through my movie collection looking for the original Indiana Jones trilogy.
I still hadn’t decided which one we should watch, so I pulled all of them out and set them on the coffee table. Then the story on the screen caught my attention.
The TV was on CNN, and images of a blown up building surrounded by palm trees was on the screen. Fire trucks were attempting to put out some small fires here and there in the rubble.
The latest news from The Philippines is that the outbreak might be from a strain of virus causing meningitis that was being studied at a headquarters in Taoguerao for the multi-billion dollar pharmaceutical company Viratech.
The screen cut back to Anderson Cooper, and then a small image of an Asian woman appeared in the corner with the name “JUDY GAU” under her portrait.
The company believes that this woman, Judy Gau, has turned in to a disgruntled employee setting out to sabotage the lab’s work, and she may be the source of the outbreak as well as the catastrophe resulting in explosions at the building two days ago. Her whereabouts are currently unknown.
The woman looked so plain and normal in the picture. I couldn’t remember the last time I had heard of an Asian woman committing an act of terrorism. Then again, it was common for women and children to become suicide bombers in the Middle East, so anything was possible, right?
And while the company does not believe that any people outside of the immediate vicinity could have been exposed to the virus, victims are reported of having experienced flu like symptoms followed by headache, disorientation, and hallucinations.
For this last section the broadcast displayed a generic photograph of a virus in the corner of the screen, one that I recognized and knew never caused meningitis, but that doubtless looked prettier on the screen. It was probably the stock image used in every science fiction movie featuring a viral outbreak as well.
Current counts from the laboratory explosion have the number of dead at thirty-one. Two days out, rescue workers are still exploring the rubble and at least a dozen people are still reported missing. In addition to those that suffered trauma from the explosions, there are also fifteen people presently being hospitalized with the strain of meningitis in question, but luckily no known reported deaths as of yet.
Meningitis. Something that I always found thought provoking though depressing when there was an outbreak. I had spent my summers during college working for the clinical pathology laboratory at Cornell, and they had been working on several projects with viruses when I was there. I think it was my attempt at connecting with my deceased mother, trying to be attracted to the same virology subject that she dedicated her career to. Alas, the field of virology never really clicked for me. Still, that first summer job helped me learn a lot, and brought about the realization that my main interest in the medical field was more from the aspect of treatment as opposed to laboratory studies. Plus I never really could stomach working in a profession that experimented on and killed animals, even in the name of science and medical advancement. Those events helped me make the conscious decision to pursue a vocation in the veterinary medical field.
In addition to learning about myself, I learned loads about viruses and public health topics during those summers. One area the school focused their research on was Eastern Equine Encephalitis. Grant money was easier to obtain when the virus you studied affected both the horses at the school and people in the surrounding areas. It seemed peculiar to me that so many people were affected in this outbreak on TV. Most meningitis strains only affected a few select individuals like the very young, or immunosuppressed adults. Then again, the epidemic was taking place in the Philippines. While I didn’t want to judge without knowing what their healthcare system was like, they might be more susceptible than those of us in first world countries with uncomplicated access to food, water, and healthcare.
River licked my hand and again brought me out of my internal reverie.
“Sorry River, something just doesn’t feel right about this. But I did promise you some Harrison Ford,” I told her as I picked a disk at random and flipped the TV over to the DVD player.
I fed River while the movie booted up, and grabbed myself a frozen veggie burrito for dinner.
Plopping down on the couch, I still couldn’t focus on the movie as it played out.
That vague hunch that something was about to go horribly wrong was still niggling me. Then again, there were tons of considerations floating around in my head to make things feel amiss: I was about to break up with my boyfriend, whom had decided to come to the middle of the Mid-West with me. I was working sixty-hour work weeks at a minimum, and on call for over fifty percent of weekends. Plus the surgery department had put me in charge of the residency training program, adding quite a bit of off clinic work to my plate.
Trying not to think about my chaotic current life situation, I found myself thinking about the story on CNN instead, and I discovered it to be extraordinarily comforting. It just seemed shocking that the virus was spreading from the laboratory so fast. It’s not like viral meningitis strains were ever airborne. They were much more commonly spread by insect vectors like in the case of West Nile Virus or Eastern Equine Encephalitis. They also very rarely effected healthy adults. So how could a lab technician cause the release of this viral strain to actually infect people? She would have had to inject them with it in most scenarios.
I barely remember going up to bed that night, but my dreams were full of bizarre infections and people with melting faces. And lots and lots of running.
Chapter 11
I woke up and rolled over, trying to shake the images of liquefied faces from the back of my mind, and gazed instead in to River’s eyes. Despite however long I had been under, I woke feeling like I had just run a marathon. It was nice to wake up to the comforting expression of my companion.
Smiling, I appreciated that River and I had the bed all to ourselves. There was no sense of loneliness or sadness despite the fact that Peter hadn’t come home last night. There was just relief.
I reached over to scratch River’s ear, and she pushed her head in to my hand, keening with contentment.
Checking my phone on the bed stand to ensure there were no missed calls or texts overnight, I saw it was only 6:15 in the morning. It was still dark outside, but I could hear some birds chirping as they were getting ready to greet the day.
I should probably call Peter. I didn’t really want to, and had a strong urge to put it off. But after I made it down to the first floor and confirmed he was not on the couch or anywhere else in the house I figured it was the right thing to do, to call and check up on him. I’m not going to admit to you whether or not I was also getting some enjoyment out of possibly waking him up this early if he was somewhere else more pleasant than with me.
After several rings he finally picked up.
“Yes,” his voice said curtly.
“Hey, I just wanted to make sure you were ok seeing as how you didn’t come home last night.”
“Yeah, I’m fine. A bunch of us went out for some drinks after meeting with some students in the lab. I crashed at Sam’s place figuring I might have been unsafe to drive,” Peter replied, sounding just as cold as when he first got on the phone.
“That was probably smart. Did you have a good day yesterday?” I asked. I was not really sure if I cared, it just kind of came out without thinking about it. It was what you did when talking with your boyfriend, right? I felt like I was balancing along a rickety tight rope, even if my innermost feelings had already given up on our relationship.
“Yes, it was fine. You missed a good brunch. Look, I really need to get in to the office and don’t have time for chit chat, but will you be home tonight?”
“Should be, I have the whole day off,” I told him.
“Alright, well, I will see you tonight,” Peter concluded, his tone making me think he didn’t really want to see me at all. Maybe he would break up with me tonight. Maybe I wouldn’t have to wait until Thanksgiving in the end. In spite of everything, the whole state of affairs made me feel faintly nauseous. It was doubtless just because I hated the sensation of not being in control. But I could only control myself, so this wasn’t my fault.
Eves of the Outbreak Page 6
