by M B Panichi
Morgan managed an uneasy smile. “Okay. As long as you promise,” she capitulated. Shaine hugged her again and vaulted off the fence, putting her hands around Morgan’s waist and lifting her down as well.
“Come on, then.”
* * *
True to Shaine’s assurances, Hoss was a perfect gentleman. Morgan grinned from Hoss’s western saddle. She wasn’t sure if she was actually directing him, or if he was taking his cues from Shaine and her big black quarter horse named Drake. Either way, Morgan was having a blast. Loosely holding the reins in one hand the way Shaine had shown her, Morgan reached forward with her other hand and petted the thick, dark brown fur on Hoss’s neck.
“Good boy, Hoss, good boy.”
The big horse swung his head back, blinking a chocolate eye at her. Morgan would have sworn he smiled when he huffed in her general direction.
“You look like a pro, Morg.” Shaine handled Drake with a casual confidence Morgan admired. “I told you you’d like it.”
Morgan chuckled. “Thanks for talking me into it.”
“So, race ya to the barn?”
“What? Shaine, I’m not—”
Shaine kneed Drake and shot ahead. Morgan squeaked and held on as Hoss tossed his head and took off after Drake. After her initial panic, Morgan laughed at the rush of speed and the wind blowing through her hair. Leaning forward, she kept hold of Hoss’s reins with one hand and the saddle horn with the other, and tried to clamp on with her legs while trying to relax into his gait.
All too quickly, it was over. Hoss slowed with Drake to a gentle walk before they stopped at the gate of the corral attached to the barn. Morgan patted Hoss’s neck. “Good boy.”
Shaine swung off Drake and came to Morgan’s left side, patting her leg. “Have fun?” she asked.
“Absolutely.”
“Want a hand down?”
Morgan raised a challenging brow. Having watched Shaine dismount a few times, she decided she could do it too. Just like in the vids. She swung her leg over Hoss and dropped to the ground without help.
Shaine whooped and swung Morgan around in her arms, planting a solid kiss on her lips as she set her back on her feet. Laughing, she said, “Come on, let’s get the tack off these two, brush them down, and give them a treat.”
An hour later, Morgan and Shaine wandered back to the house. They climbed up onto the porch and through the kitchen door. Jeannette Ichiro sat at the breakfast bar, sipping a glass of iced tea and tapping something into her comp pad.
“Hey, Mom, how was book group?”
Shaine kicked her boots off at the door and headed to the cooler. Morgan leaned over to unclamp her boot buckles.
Jeannette looked up and smiled. “Book club was fine.” She gave Morgan a quick once-over, then Shaine. She tilted her head, pointedly sniffed the air and asked, “How was the ride?”
Morgan stopped in her tracks, unsure how to read that comment.
Reaching into the cooler, Shaine snorted. “Nice, Mom. Real nice.” She removed a sealed pitcher and closed the door. With a raised brow and a twinkle in her eye, she demanded, “You think we smell like horses?”
Jeannette chuckled. “Yes, I think you do,” she agreed.
Shaine sniffed her underarms and shrugged. “Well, at least part of me doesn’t smell like horse.”
“Shaine!” Jeannette burst out laughing.
Morgan snickered. She liked Shaine’s mom. A lot. Jeannette reminded her of her own mom—what little she remembered. Morgan walked the rest of the way into the kitchen and sat down on one of the low-backed stools across from Jeannette. She said, “It was a really nice ride.”
Shaine put the pitcher and two glasses on the breakfast bar and filled them. She slid one in front of Morgan as she sat on the stool beside her. “I put Morgan on Hoss,” she said. “She did great. Rides like a pro.” She lifted her glass in salute.
Morgan clinked her glass against Shaine’s. “I think Hoss did all the work. He just made me look good.”
Jeannette set aside her pad and sipped her own tea. “I’m glad you had fun.” She turned her attention to Morgan. “Are you adjusting to being on Earth?” she asked.
Morgan nodded. “I am, yes. It’s a lot different than home.”
Jeannette said, “I imagine it must be.”
“I think the oddest thing for me is not worrying about going outside. I mean, even on Moon Base, you’re always aware that as long you’re in the dome, you’re safe, but what’s beyond the airlock can kill you. You don’t consciously think about it. But it’s always there, in the back of your head. One crack in the dome and it’s all over, you know?”
Shaine nodded in agreement and covered Morgan’s hand with her own. Morgan flashed her a glance, surprised at the show of affection in front of Jeannette. Shaine smiled and Morgan relaxed. She entwined their fingers on the counter, meeting Shaine’s deep green gaze. She knew she was blushing, but didn’t care.
She let the conversation between Shaine and Jeannette wash over her for a few moments, recognizing a sense of contentment and belonging, much like how she felt with her friends at home, or with her dad. Only, for some reason, this seemed more intense. Maybe it was because of Shaine. Maybe Shaine was becoming her home. Morgan felt the smile on her lips and the heat flushing her cheeks thinking of that. Interesting.
She forced herself to follow the conversation and realized that Jeannette was focused on her. Jeannette studied her for a moment before asking, “I don’t mean to pry, Morgan, but curiosity is killing me. How much truth is there in all the media hype that’s following you?”
Morgan blinked at the directness. She took the time to sip her tea and gather her thoughts. The question didn’t upset her, and she sensed no animosity in it. Shaine glared at her mother. Morgan squeezed Shaine’s hand reassuringly. She was okay with this. “I guess it kind of depends on what you’ve heard,” she said. “It’s true that Tarm Maruchek is my birth father. He hid the fact that I was saved when my mother, who was eight months pregnant with me, was shot and killed. The doctors managed to deliver me via C-section just before she died. Tarm thought it was too dangerous for me, that I would be a target for his enemies the same as my mother and my older brother had been, so they let it be known that I was killed with my mother. I was given to Vinn and Elise Rahn to raise. I knew I was adopted, but never knew the real story until just a few weeks ago.”
Jeannette nodded, her expression concerned and serious. “That’s a lot to deal with. You’re very close to your adopted parents, aren’t you?”
Morgan nodded. “I am. It’s been just me and my dad since I was twelve, though. My mom was killed in a pirate attack at one of the mining facilities.” She frowned. “I worry about leaving my dad on Moon Base while I’m here. I mean, I’m sure he’s okay, but I still feel a little guilty for being so far away.” She shook her head. Why in the hell was she telling Jeannette Ichiro all this?
Jeannette asked, “Did your parents know of your birthright?”
Morgan felt the rise of betrayal and pushed it down. She didn’t want to feel angry toward her parents, but the knowledge that they’d never told her the truth still rankled. “They knew. My dad said they always meant to tell me, but it just didn’t come up. Then it just seemed better to leave it be.” She shrugged. “I guess if things had gone differently it would have been just as well.”
“But now you know. Are you okay with that?”
“Mom—”
“I’m not sure.” Morgan met Jeannette’s gaze. The warmth and empathy in her eyes made Morgan want to continue the conversation and spill her guts just because Jeannette cared. In a way, it was a relief to tell someone who wasn’t in the middle of the situation. “I guess I don’t have much choice but to accept it.”
“What is Tarm Maruchek really like?”
Morgan considered. She shot a look at Shaine, who shrugged. “It’s hard to say,” she hedged. “I don’t know him very well.”
Jeannette turned a sharp eye on
her. “Does he treat you well?”
Morgan nodded quickly. “Yeah, actually. He really seems to try.” She frowned thoughtfully into her tea. Scenes flashed through her head of the interactions she’d had with him. “I really believe he thought he was doing the right thing at the time, when he hid me away.”
The words almost surprised her because she hadn’t said them aloud before. She realized she truly believed it, and it felt right. She felt Shaine’s eyes on her, supportive and encouraging. “It’s hard though. I don’t want to make my dad feel like he’s going to be tossed aside. He’s still my dad. And I don’t want anything from Maruchek. I don’t need the money or the fame. I was happy the way things were, you know? I had my friends and my dad. I spent my whole life being a mechanic, working for a living like my parents did. Honestly, I just want my old life back.”
Jeannette observed gently, “That may not be possible.”
“Yeah. I’m beginning to see that.”
Morgan felt a somewhat resigned acceptance settle over her. Maybe having this distance from Moon Base was allowing her to process all the changes. Maybe having Shaine’s mother tease it out of her was a good thing. Maybe I just need a mom, because I really miss having one right now.
Jeannette smiled. “I’m sure things will be a lot easier once the excitement has settled down a bit.”
Morgan nodded, wondering how long she’d have to wait for that to happen.
* * *
While they chatted with her mom, Shaine caught her space-born companion struggling to hide her yawns. After lunch, Shaine convinced Morgan to go upstairs and take a nap. She figured the fresh air and slight uptick of gravity was taking its toll on her. Moon Base was technically at Earth-normal gravity inside the dome, but in reality, the artificial gravity generators didn’t quite reach Earth-normal. It wasn’t a big difference, but for someone who had never lived on Earth, it was enough to cause fatigue and aches until they acclimated. She was tired herself, but it didn’t affect her nearly so much.
She brought Morgan up to her bedroom. They stripped down to T-shirts and undies and crawled into bed. Morgan stretched out on her stomach, her arms around the pillow. Shaine pulled a light blanket over them and lay on her side, watching contentedly as Morgan’s breathing evened out. She stayed with Morgan until she knew her lover was asleep, then slipped out of bed, dressed and padded back downstairs.
She found her mother in the kitchen, taking vegetables and a package of fresh meat from the cooler.
Jeannette looked up as Shaine walked into the room. “Grab a knife. You can cut up these veggies and put them in the steamer.”
Shaine raised a brow. “I walk in the room and I get KP duty?”
“Just for that, you’re also peeling potatoes for au gratin.”
Shaine sighed dramatically then hunted down a small knife, a peeler and a cutting board, which she set on the breakfast bar. Jeannette handed her a bowl of washed veggies and an empty bowl to hold the peeled ones before returning to the counter by the sink. Picking up a butcher knife, Jeannette looked over her shoulder at Shaine. “Stew or pot roast?” she asked.
Shaine licked her lips. “Pot roast,” she said. “Definitely.”
“Good, because I don’t feel like cubing this meat.”
Shaine smiled and watched her mother move efficiently around the kitchen, comforted by the familiar sounds and motions and memories of a routine she’d seen repeated hundreds of times. She knew chopping veggies and peeling potatoes was just an excuse for her mother to keep her in one place so that they could chat. She’d become so good at skirting around the details of her life that she had no idea where to begin the conversation, so she simply worked and waited.
Jeannette got the roast into the oven, poured herself a cup of coffee from the dispenser on the counter and sat down across from Shaine. “Morgan’s a sweet girl,” she commented.
Shaine blinked. Not the starter she’d expected. “Um, yes, she is. She’s good people.” And I’m in love with her.
“I’m glad you brought her home. It’ll give both of you a chance to slow down and get to know each other better.”
“That really isn’t why we came here.”
Her mom chuckled. “No, but it does work out rather neatly that way, doesn’t it?”
Shaine started peeling another carrot. Orange streamers flew from the blade. “It’s nice to actually have downtime,” she admitted. “Been kind of crazy, lately.”
“I get the impression there’s a lot more behind the story of you and Morgan than you’ve let on.”
Shaine puffed out a breath. It never took long for her mother to get to the point. She finished peeling the carrot, tossed it into the bowl and picked up another. She contemplated what to tell her mother about how she and Morgan got together. It surprised her that for the first time in a very long time, she actually wanted to tell all. It surprised her even more when the whole story tumbled out of her mouth. She didn’t leave anything out, not her assassination of the man who’d been trying to kill Morgan, or the fact it wasn’t the first time she’d been involved in that kind of death and destruction.
She even disclosed her covert employment with Mann-Maru and how she finally reached a point where she could no longer handle how the “security” jobs she took on tended to more and more violence. She related how she had stepped in when employees were suspected of selling trade secrets to competitors, how she physically intimidated them into silence. She’d caught infiltrators and corporate spies and sent them back to their respective bosses either beaten severely, or in one case, dead. She’d “encouraged” MMU employees not to leave because they had skills and knowledge that were too valuable to lose. At first, it had seemed like just an extension of the skills she’d learned as a Special Ops Commando. Then it became just routine. Rogan pushed her harder and harder. He tapped into her military training, manipulating her into being a dutiful soldier again. He exploited that coldly focused mindset which allowed her to do what was necessary without considering the morality of her actions. Finally, she realized that she could no longer justify any of it. She described how she’d essentially blackmailed Tarm Maruchek and his Head of Security, Duncan Rogan, into letting her move into a benign job as a mechanic.
It was cathartic, though she spoke without tears or much outward emotion. She hesitated sometimes, searching for words, but just kept talking. She didn’t look up from her work. She didn’t want to know what her mother would think of her now. Hell, she was disgusted with herself. She couldn’t imagine how her mother would feel. So, now you know, she thought. This is who I am, Mom, something between a monster and a psychopath. I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me.
For what felt like hours after she finished talking, Shaine waited, uncomfortably aware of her mother’s eyes on her. When she finally looked up, the gaze she met was concerned and sad, but also sympathetic and compassionate. “Baby girl, that is a lot of guilt to bear,” Jeannette said quietly.
Shaine said, “By rights I ought to be locked up somewhere. Hell, Rogan, and me and half a dozen others, Tarm Maruchek included.”
“There is some truth in that,” her mother conceded, then added, “seems to me, though, that in a lot of ways you were a pawn in a larger game. You had little choice in the matter, once things got out of hand.”
“I could have walked away. I should have.”
“Rogan would have killed you.”
Shaine shrugged. “Sometimes I think I deserve that.”
Jeannette reached across the space between them and took Shaine’s hands in her own. “Perhaps it’s because I’m your mother, but I can’t say that I agree. You are not a bad person, Shaine. You may have gotten a bit lost, but I know if you had no heart, you wouldn’t be here right now.” She patted her daughter’s hand. “To be truthful, I had a pretty fair idea of what you’d gotten yourself into. I’ve waited a long time for you to get yourself back out.”
Shaine looked sharply at her.
Jeannette smiled. “Mothers a
re trained to read between the lines, dear. And after all these years, I’ve figured out how to read between yours. And I think that Morgan Rahn is going to be good for you.”
Shaine shook her head and sighed. Relief washed over her, making her feel almost dizzy. “Thanks.”
Jeannette patted her hand again. “No thanks needed. That’s what mothers do. Now, get peeling, or we’ll never have any veggies with our dinner.”
Chapter Three
Morgan jerked awake, choking on a scream. Gasping for breath, she lay on her back blinking into moonlight shining through the domed windows overhead. Sweat soaked the sheet beneath her. Her heart pounded frantically in her chest. Christ, I hate this damn nightmare.
The familiar scenes continued in her head. Floating in space, enveloped in empty blackness, helpless and unable to get to the people she loved, she watched her best friend Digger and her mother die. The pirate bomber swooped in from above, guns firing. Bright white laser beams ripped through her mother’s vac suit, shredding the front. Then she saw the explosion that took Digger’s life, heard his strangled cry in her helmet speakers as his helmet shattered and his arm was blown off. Screaming, she reached toward them, but their lifeless bodies floated just out of her grasp. Their empty, dead eyes stared at her through cracked, blood-spattered faceplates.
Morgan rubbed her hands over her face, trying to banish the images.
Curled up beside her, Shaine mumbled and shifted, reaching a long arm across Morgan’s waist with a sigh. Morgan waited until Shaine settled again, then carefully extricated herself from Shaine’s sleepy embrace.
She pulled on a T-shirt and boxers and slipped out of the bedroom and tiptoed down the carpeted stairs. Padding barefoot into the darkened kitchen, she took a bottle of juice from the refrigerator.
She leaned against the counter and stared out the window over the sink. The moon was high and nearly full, the stars bright against the night sky. In the distance, the faint glow of city lights spread a dull orange-yellow highlight along the edge of the horizon.
