by E. C. Land
“What?” he demands.
Lifting my head up, I tilt my head to meet his gaze. “I’m done. Retiring. The Harpy is no more. I can’t do it anymore. I could but I don’t want to. I’m tired of always being in the dark. For the last God knows how many months.”
“Six months,” he mutters, interrupting me.
Shit. I lost six months of my life being held captive.
Yeah, I’m done with this shit. I can’t do it anymore. I wouldn’t be able to take it again. I’m strong but even I know I have my limitations on what I can handle. I know if Ranger didn’t save me when he did, I’d have finally caved to Ezra.
“I lost six months being chained, beaten repeatedly and worse, I was left in the dark for days on end. Never knowing if it were day or night, until the days Ezra would make his goons bring me upstairs. So yeah, when I say I’m done, I mean done with it all, I don’t want to do it anymore. I can’t take the chance of that happening again.”
“It’s not gonna happen, baby. I refuse to let it fuckin’ happen again. The day you left the hospital and I read your note, a note I’ve carried with me in my wallet since, I knew I needed to find a way to help you escape that life. Now I’m making it happen so it doesn’t matter to me if you were done or not. I fuckin’ refuse to lose you ever again.”
“You really do love me.” The words spill from my lips before I can stop them.
“First time I saw you, baby, I knew you were it. It was just a matter of getting you to stick around long enough for me to make my approach. Shouldn’t have waited so long,” he murmurs, lifting a hand to caress my cheek, eyes steady letting me see the truth behind them.
“I’ve been in love with you to. My aunt Ela told me a long time ago ‘Emotions are strong even when you think they’re gone. You let them consume you and the one you’re meant to be with will have a fight on his hands fighting back the fury to get to the heart of you’. I didn’t understand it then but after spending a lot of time in my head over the past several months, I get it now.”
“Baby, your emotions were never shut down. You simply hid them from everyone. I saw them though. I saw the fire in the depths of your beautiful vibrant green eyes. I also saw the pain that you held close to you. It’s time you relinquish all of that to me, Harlow. Let me be the one who handles it all.”
Nodding, I give him a small smile.
“Fuckin’ gonna have to make you do that more often.”
“Do what?” I ask, frowning down at him.
“Smile, baby. First time I’ve ever seen you smile even the slightest,” Ranger says, hefting himself up to a sitting position. “Now I hate to be a downer right now but I need to get you something to eat. Victoria was making you some of her chicken soup.”
My stomach begins to growl at the mention of food.
“However, I’ll say this now. I don’t know what you’ve eaten or when you last ate. I want you to start with only the broth for right now. Last thing you need is to get sick.”
“I only had what they gave me when they felt the need to give me sustenance.” Lowering my gaze to stare at the sheets, I don’t want to see him giving me his pity at knowing this.
“Harlow, look at me,” he commands, and I do as he says.
Ranger lifts a hand, cups the side of my face, his thumb caresses my cheek. “I might not know what all you went through but I’ve got somewhat of an idea. You went through hell, baby. The marks on your body and the fact you can see your ribs are proof of that, so don’t ever fuckin’ be ashamed of taking what those fuckers dished out. You, Harlow, Harpy or not, survived getting through that hellfire by being who you are. Now we’re going to put some clothes on, I’m going to carry you out there, you’re gonna eat then after that I’ll bring you back in here to take a nap.”
“You’re not going to leave me alone out there, are you?” I ask, licking my lips nervously.
“Not leaving you, baby. You need me near, I’m there for however long it is you need me for. But when you begin feeling comfortable again here at the clubhouse, I’ll know I can leave you safe here while handling shit that needs to be done.”
Giving him a nod in understanding, I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
I can do this.
Ranger’s with me and he won’t let anything happen to me.
Not now.
Not ever.
Chapter Eleven
Harlow
“Angel girl,” Lynch calls out, startling me by calling a name I haven’t heard him use in a very long time, not since before I’d been hurt by those girls. Ever since it’s always been Harlow. Now hearing him call me that nearly brings me to tears as Ranger carries me into the main room of the clubhouse.
I didn’t even know my brother was here.
“Lynch,” I murmur, glancing behind him I stop on not only Pitch Black but Fury and Ela.
“Hey, sweetheart,” Ela says stepping forward.
“Hey,” I whisper, scanning the rest of the room to see everyone in the room was looking at Ranger holding me. One-person in particular didn’t seem very happy as she’s glaring at me as if she could stab me in the eyes with her fingernails. Everyone else smiled or had a solemn look upon their faces. “Uh, hey everyone.” I wave nervously.
“Ranger, you better bring her ass over here and plant her in a chair so she can eat,” Victoria demands in the only way she knows how to be. Everyone used to think of Vi as this meek person. Completely untrue. She can be damn bossy as shit when she wants something done. Her and Chains both are bullheaded, but they’re family to me just the same.
“Baby, you want me to put you in a chair and leave you with everyone or you want me to stay with you?” Ranger asks, quiet so only I can hear him.
I shake my head in answer. “Please don’t leave me.” I want to tell him how his touch soothes a part of me that I don’t understand right now.
“You got it.” He nods and walks the short distance to a table, he then uses a foot to slide a chair out, sits and adjusts me on his lap so that I would be comfortable as well.
“Uh, Ranger, I said to put her ass in a chair so we could talk not you sit your ass down with her,” Victoria grumbles.
“Vi, baby, chill,” Tracker says warningly.
“Sweetheart, you do need to calm down,” Ela mumbles soothingly while coming to sit in a chair close by. Fury, Pitch Black, and Lynch all grab a chair and huddle in while Raven and Victoria take a seat across from me.
“Um, what’s going on?” I ask at the same time a bowl is placed in front of me.
Lifting my head, I find Tinsley standing there with a small grin on her face. “Eat chickadee,” she commands, using the tone only someone in the medical field would use in getting a patient to do as they’re asked.
“Thank you, Tinsley.” I give her a small smile and turn back to look at the bowl only to find everyone staring at me. “Why are you all staring at me?”
“We’re all staring at you because you don’t look anything like our Harlow anymore,” Raven says, leaning forward to rest her elbows on the table.
“Sweetheart, it’s because we were all scared we’d lost you.” And there is the truth, from my aunt.
“I’m merely staring at you ‘cause I’m furious with you,” Victoria huffs.
“Vi,” Tracker says firmly, and Victoria opens her mouth to say something, but he beats her to the punch. “Right now, isn’t the time. You don’t need to go shoot off at the mouth when you don’t know all the facts.”
Holy shit.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard Tracker speak to Victoria that way.
Needing to address this right now so it can be done with, I clear my throat. “I know you all were scared and worried about me; however, I didn’t let anyone in on this besides Trevor because Victoria has a little boy who needs his mom, Raven had her own family to take care of. I refused to put anyone in jeopardy.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Lynch asks, interrupting me.
“I didn’t tell y
ou because you wouldn’t have agreed with the plays I was making. Before that night some of you saw me in the club, I was making headway in infiltrating Ezra’s organization. I needed to get in the good graces of his sister Lavina, the crazy bitch was in town and I’d been prepared to meet with her. It was all set up then everything happened. Three weeks later, I was nabbed, taken to Ezra. Medical personnel did a checkup, Ezra liked what he found out, I became his personal pet. He kept me chained, barely fed me, I never had more than a child’s size cup of water to drink, those two things were only when they remember to feed me. They wanted me weak. Ezra wanted me to beg him, give him whatever he wanted without a fight. I refused. I didn’t back down. Finally, he’d had enough and decided to use a date rape drug he had created called Heavenly Rose on me. The first two times, I was able to fight, the third time, I don’t remember much but I know I was ready to give up.”
“I know you probably think it was a stupid move, but all I could think about while sitting in the darkened basement is you were all happy, not sitting there with me.” I hold my hand up when Raven opens her mouth to say something. “Let me finish this ‘cause I don’t want to ever speak of it again. You all would have jumped at the chance to help me, I get this, but I’ve never brought you in on a job I’ve worked. They called me Harpy for a reason, I’m a rogue, I don’t work with others. However, I’ve remembered something very important, something Aunt Ela said to me when she and Uncle Fury let me come up here to get away from the girls who started me on this journey. I’d shut everyone out, not wanting anyone to get close to me by shutting my emotions down.” Finishing I glance down at the table unable to meet anyone’s gaze. I don’t need to see their faces to know what they’re probably thinking.
“Harlow, look at me,” Fury orders and my heart races in my chest, not wanting to see the disappointment in his gaze. The fact I allowed myself to be captured is bad enough it pains me to have him acknowledge I’m not as strong as I should be.
Sucking in a deep breath, I lift my gaze to meet my uncle’s. Instead of the disappointment I thought I’d find, there’s nothing but what I would like to think of as pride.
“Your father would have been fuckin’ proud of who you’ve become. I love my sister, was pissed with her for leaving you and Lynch the way she did after your dad died but grateful to her all the same because that meant I got to raise you. Now that said don’t ever think you can pull something like this again. You do and I’ll be sure to keep your Christmas and birthday cookies.” Speechless at my uncle’s words, I glance from him to my aunt to find her smiling up at Fury.
Of course, he’d threaten to take my cookies away. They’re the one thing I look forward to getting every year.
“Yes, sir,” I nod.
“Good, now family meeting over, eat. sweetheart. You’ve lost to much weight,” Fury announces, slapping a hand on the table.
Fits of laughter surround me as several of Ranger’s brothers chuckle. Leaning forward, I begin to slowly drink the broth Tinsley put on the table for me. Closing my eyes, I moan at how good it is to not only have something so good but the fact it’s hot.
The only thing I’ve eaten in all this time is cold scraps.
“Fuckin’ hell, baby,” Ranger mutters into my ear.
“What?” I ask twisting on his lap to look at him, his fingers dig into my waist causing my body to react. I could feel the heat of his fingertips through the material of his tee shirt I was wearing. The sweatpants covering the lower half of me seems to feel as if it weren’t enough of a barrier between the two of us.
Damn, I need him.
He must see it in my gaze because one minute he’s sitting with me in his lap, the next Ranger stands, turns from the group we’d been sitting with and carries me straight to his room. “We’ll talk to you all later. When Harlow’s not as exhausted,” he calls out over his shoulder.
“Ranger,” I murmur for only him to hear.
“Gotta take care of you,” he declares, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.
The moment we enter his room, Ranger does just that. He ended up taking care of me more than once. I ended up passing out with him still seated deep inside of me while I laid on his chest.
Chapter Twelve
Ranger
For the past two months things have been quiet. This did not make me happy as that meant we couldn’t find Ezra or his sister. They had gone to ground somewhere without a trail to be followed.
At least not yet. Tracker is doing what he does best alongside several of our brothers from the different charters. Even members of the Inferno’s Clutch were looking for these two pieces of shit.
We’ll find them, it just pisses me off to not be able to make Ezra pay for what he’d done to my woman. Harlow, after the side effects finally subsided, was able to rest and begin healing. She’d been going to the gym connected to the clubhouse to work on some of the equipment in order to gain her strength back. Shadow had even gotten in the ring with her to spar.
I didn’t like it at first; however, I knew about the night terrors she had. During this, she didn’t wake up, no she’d scream out. Sometimes they were due to what those girls did to her when she was thirteen, other times it was due to her time with Ezra. I realized she needed this as a way to release the demons swirling around in her head.
Shadow isn’t one to go easy on her, but he doesn’t ever hurt her. He knows she’s still regaining her strength, so he hasn’t given her his all.
Not yet that is.
This morning although is different. Something in my gut told me she needed more than he’s been giving to her. Standing on the sidelines, arms crossed over my chest, I watch as my woman seems to be unleashing the fury she’s held deep inside her. Harlow becomes ruthless in the ring and begins to go harder than she’s gone in the past two months. The fire in her green eyes I’ve always seen in her shines brighter than it ever has.
“She’s tormented at night.” I take my gaze off Harlow to look at Raven as she stands next to me holding Mark in her arms.
“I know she is, night terrors,” I say in agreement.
“Yep, but there’s something else. What she’s fighting I don’t think Shadow can help her with. I think you might need to be the one in there with her. Sometimes only the one who holds our heart can fight back what’s messing with our heads,” Raven states, nodding toward Harlow who was swinging at Shadow.
Without another thought, I leave Raven standing where she is and step up to the ring. I climb up and slide between the ropes, “Shadow, go ahead and let up, I’ll take it from here, brother.”
“You sure?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I nod, remove my shirt and focus on my woman who was breathing heavily. “Do me a favor will you, brother. Have everyone clear out of here and stay away from the gym no matter what they hear.”
Shadow’s gaze narrows but he doesn’t question me, instead he nods and leaves the room whistling to a couple of my brothers to get their attention. “Let’s give our brother some privacy,” he yells out.
Raven gives me a small smile and nods her head, turns and follows the rest of the guys out of the gym. Once the door slams closed, I give Harlow my undivided attention. “Alright, baby, it’s you and me in here. Give me the fury inside you,” I order.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” she says breathlessly.
“You won’t, Harlow. Now give it to me. Is this about the dreams you’re having at night?” I demand gaining a glare from her. “I know you have nightmares, baby. I hear you fighting them every fuckin’ night.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she denies.
“Harlow, I fuckin’ do. I sleep in the same damn bed as you, hold you while you cry, scream, and fight in your sleep. Now give me what you need to get out,” I say circling my woman. “You made a promise to let me carry the fury inside you and it’s time you give it over. I want it and I want you to live in the light without the pain of it all consuming you.”
“Ranger,
please,” Harlow mutters, diverting her gaze from mine as she turns away from me.
“No, Harlow. I have watched you over the past two months. I have seen it inside you. I have allowed this up until now. But this morning something’s different and you’re going to give it to me even if that means I take it from you.” Advancing on Harlow, I get directly in her space, reaching up I wrap my fingers in her soft black hair gripping the back of her head.
Harlow’s eyes close, her breathing becomes almost nonexistent almost as if she were memorizing my touch.
“I can’t do this,” she finally whispers, opening her eyes she looks up to meet my gaze. Tears shimmer ready to fall.
“What can’t you do?’ I demand already having a feeling of what she’s about to say.
“This. Being normal.”
“Baby, you’re not normal and no one expects you to fuckin’ be. I sure as hell don’t.” And I didn’t if she were normal, she wouldn’t be my Harlow. The woman who had drawn my attention like no other from the first time I saw her.
“You say that now,” she mutters, placing her hands on my chest and pushing away from me.
I reach out and grab her upper arm as she goes to turn from me.
“Told you, baby, this shit isn’t happening. Now fuckin’ give it to me,” I snarl, growing frustrated by her stubbornness.
Harlow narrows her gaze once again, but this time she does it attacking me. With each blow she throws my way, I block. While doing this, I do the one thing I can think of that may push her completely over the edge.
Bring up the past.
Every little bit of it.
The stuff she screams about in her sleep.
What happened when she lost her dad. What those girls did to her, beating her, sheering her hair, cutting her face with a pair of scissors. What happened when she made her first kill when she was sixteen. I also brought up the girl who started her on the last job that in the end got her kidnapped. I bring up every little thing I can and as I do Harlow’s fight becomes more erratic as she screams.
