Power. To think that yesterday he’d been so concerned about the power of the people, the power of the government. He hadn’t even entertained the idea that the power for the people would fail. How long before the people were pissed off that the governmental offices still had power? Their generators and power would only work as long as there was fuel. Provo’s now 60,000 plus people were too many to be able to move in. But most sure as hell weren’t ready to start homesteading. Too many people who would normally be able to take care of themselves, were about to become utterly helpless. That’s what happens when people hand over responsibility for their lives to government.
Mannie muttered to himself. “Why the fuck is this my responsibility?” He knew the answer. A responsibility became one’s own as soon as it became obvious that it existed. At least that was the case for him. He’d screwed up too many of his other duties and responsibilities. Now he had to suck it up and take care of people who should be taking care of themselves.
He opened his door and slumped back against it.
He got a thin smile from Nev.
“That good, huh?”
“I want to lock the door and keep everyone out that wants something. But I’m pretty sure that isn’t a good idea.”
“Here’s what we’ve got. Glen got me a bigger weather report than I was able to get here. Who the hell is squeezing our internet?”
Mannie glared at her.
“I know,” she whispered. “Big Brother is watching? What the fu…?”
“And the weather is?”
“Nice. Cool, but not cold. No new snow.”
“Damn.”
“You want it freezing?”
“Yeah. People can stay warm with hats and coats, but keeping food from spoiling…”
Nev nodded. “What do we do?”
“Well, we get an army of ice collectors.” Mannie sighed. “I wish I had a fucking clue when the power might be back for the city.”
As if in response the lights flickered and went back to steady. “Nev, check to see if the power is back on.”
A second later, a whoop echoed through the room. “We're back!”
“Ojala que, it stays back.”
“What's that mean? My Spanish is by the book.”
“Means God willing essentially.”
“Didn't know you were a believer, Mannie.”
“I'm not. It was beaten out of me by the school nuns... But the words of mi abuela sometimes come out.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
INSIDE LIZZIE’S PLACE THE HEAT had returned. She fed Saj and then read some Camus while Duke and Saj played with Duplos on the floor.
“Psst,” Duke whispered, “Lizzie.”
Saj had crashed out, falling asleep on the floor, a Duplo person in each hand.
“I was building him a house and next thing I know…” Duke picked him up and gently deposited him on the couch.
“Glad I fed him. I’m hungry.” She slid her hundred dollar bookmark into the book and stood. Her left leg zinged from falling asleep as she hobbled over and opened the freezer, relieved to have the light come on.
“The Last Decent Almost Frozen Pizza,” Lizzie said with a flourish.
“How do you know it’s the last one?”
“There are lots more pizzas, but I’m not sure they’re gonna stay frozen and/or decent for long. I figure we better cook all of them now that the power is back on.
“Damn,” Duke said. “Shouldn’t we say a Eulogy or something?”
Lizzie pulled open the fridge and grabbed a champagne bottle. “We should toast it,” she said with a pose she thought might entice. “Course, you should drink most of it, me being pregnant and all.”
“I will sacrifice myself at that altar, milady.” He took the bottle from her like a sacrificial sword, stripping off the foil and the wire cage and pointing the bottle at her like it was a weapon.
“Be careful where you point that thing, sir knight.” She grasped it around the neck and pulled it back from him. She went to work on the cork working it back and forth aiming it at his chest.
“Whoa, your highness. ‘There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in the world’” He grabbed his own chest and squeezed. “‘It would be a pity to damage these.’”
Lizzie snorted. “‘I do not think that means what you think it means.’”
“‘Incontheivable,’” he muttered as the cork flew out of the bottle and champagne followed it onto the floor. “Hey, don’t waste that.” He managed to get a glass under the flow from the bottle. She returned it to vertical and handed it to him.
“You may pour, sir.”
By the time they had eaten everything but a few crusts off the last of the pizza, Duke had finished off much of the champagne.
As they were sitting watching A Knight’s Tale, Lizzie couldn’t get Rachael’s concerned look out of her head. What she was talking about was practically sex slavery. This was the United States, or had been until recently. They couldn’t do it. But with a sinking feeling she knew they could.
When Duke slipped out from under Saj and knelt before her on the couch. His face tilted as his boisterous grin grew. “Hey, you wanna get engaged?”
“What the fuck, Duke? Are you kidding me? Where the hell did that come from?”
His face sobered. “It gets you a free weekend in Salt Lake City to get engaged. You don’t even have to get married. Ever.”
“I don’t plan on getting married EVER. And getting engaged for a ‘pre-honeymoon’ to give The Man his babies like Zach and Nev are doing…”
“The Man?” Duke slumped in front of her. “Is everything political?”
“Yeah. Political or personal or both.” Shit. She could really use the distraction. If only for a while. “We can get engaged right here,” Lizzie growled, pulling him up toward her.
Duke reanimated, climbing up on top of her with his legs straddling hers. “Here and now is fine.”
She glanced over at Saj sleeping. “Maybe not here and now.” What would he think waking up to Sissie and Juke groaning and naked? “Definitely not.”
“Maybe tomorrow?” Duke said hopefully, “The stars are much prettier away from the city lights. There’s this place up on the hill…”
“Tomorrow.” Anyplace outside of The City was better than inside. “Maybe,” Lizzie said, pulling his face toward her and kissing him, let her tongue find his, promising that the maybe would be. Maybe her father would like to have Saj for the evening.
As the twilight faded, the little boy on Mannie's chest was still except for breathing. Saj, the energizer bunny toddler, had finally run his batteries out of juice. Mannie was glad. He’d gone about as far as he could go. The last two days at work, responding to and recovering from the power scare had knocked him out, too, but he’d agreed to let Lizzie have her night out with Duke.
When Mannie felt his own eyes closing, he’d fed the kid and held him in the recliner while the television droned in the background. A glance at his watch told him it was later than he thought. If he moved the kid would probably wake up.
He stared at the picture in the frame on the end table. He reached out, sliding carefully to the side until he could pull it into his hands. Then he turned it over and slid the metal swivels aside. He flipped it and the bottom came open, releasing several more pictures he’d collected, all were of Isabel. Some included him.
There had been a very long time when he wasn’t sure he could love again. Then she found him, befriended him and eventually brought that part of him back to life. When she’d died in the pandemic, he’d given up. Seriously thinking of killing himself or drinking until the pain went away. But she’d loved him enough that he knew he’d be letting them both down if he went out that way. And as much as he didn’t believe in heaven, hell or purgatory, he wasn’t going to blow the chance of never seeing her again.
When Lizzie called, he had another proof that he had made the right choice. Now here he'd become Saj's Mampa. And soon enough Lizzie's baby
would arrive. Isabel would have loved being una abuela.
He would get some more frames. Maybe some candles. Isabel would want him to try to date again. To live a full life. But not yet. For now, being a grandpa was enough. He didn’t relish Lizzie and Zach the complications that kids brought. And the complications they’d chosen, but he figured they were young; they'd work it out. Hopefully the three of them didn't make it too rough on everyone else around them.
There was a knock on the door. Lizzie? Nah. She wouldn’t knock.
He covered Saj’s ear with his hand. “Come in.” Another knock. “Come in,” he hissed a little louder. Finally, the knob turned. Rachael. A smile lit up her face when she saw the small sleeping shape on his chest.
“Lizzie texted me,” she whispered. “Said she was going to be out late again. I'm so glad she and Duke connected. You want me to take Saj?”
Mannie shrugged. “I don't know. Yes, I'm too hot. No, I'm liking this feeling right now. Maybe, because if he wakes up and I can't get him to settle down.”
Rachael giggled, suddenly seeming younger. “Yeah, that's the thing with kids, you never know what to expect.” A sadness crossed her face, but her smile forced the joviality back.
“How do you like working at the child-care? Is it easier or harder with a bunch of kids?”
“Oh, I like it fine. It's different. Like having parents who can tag-team. It's hardest when you're alone and they're inconsolable.”
“Yeah. That's what worries me. I like being the grandpa. I get to give him back.”
“Well, I'd like one of my own, but I'm not sure I'm ready for a new relationship.”
“That thought makes me pretty sure you're not ready.” Mannie's hand strayed through Saj's soft blonde hair. “I think I’m only ready for this one, being a grandpa.”
“Yeah. I hear that. Saj’ll take all the love I have to give without asking for more.” Rachael pulled Saj’s winter coat off the back of the couch.
“You ever think there isn’t enough of you left to go around?”
Rachael moved to take Saj. “What do you mean?”
“Well. Falling in love. New relationships. Being alone.”
“I’m not following you, Mannie.” Rachael’s face pinched with concern.
Mannie tried to replay his thoughts, make it make sense so he could say it. “Never mind. Just rambling, I guess.”
“Sure you don’t want to keep him tonight?” Her hand caressed Saj’s cheek. “He’s quite the cuddler.”
Mannie thought about it. He was better off alone. “Yeah. I’m sure. If Lizzie thinks you'll have him…” A yawn escaped. “And I'm fading. Old soldier and all.”
“Okay. Let’s see if we can get him in his coat without waking him up.” She maneuvered one arm in, then tucked it and rolled him onto his side.
Mannie watched the activity on his chest with amusement.
When Rachael had Saj all but zipped she rolled him into her arms.
“You’re really good at that.”
“Thanks. People at the daycare say I have the touch.”
“You sure do. Thanks for relieving el abuelo.” Mannie flipped the recliner lever down and pushed himself up. His leg felt like it might not hold him, so he sat back on the arm of the chair.
“No problem.” Rachael swung the diaper bag strap over her shoulder. “Can you get the door for me?”
Mannie nodded and pushed himself back to his feet. A sharp pain shot through his leg, but he shook it off with a grimace. He opened the door and used it to take some pressure off his leg. As Rachael went by he kissed Saj’s forehead. “G’night.”
“Good night, Mannie.” Rachael pulled Saj in a little closer as she set off down the sidewalk.
The night was clear and cold, not freezing, but chilly. Mannie watched them go. You can’t choose who loves you, but you can choose who you love and how. He could love Jess like a daughter and someday, she’d find somebody, maybe when hre grief had been able to play out.
He shut the door and leaned against it, shaking out his leg. Physical pain jabbed at his knee. He felt tears in his eyes. Should do his damn physical therapy exercises. Isabel could always get him to do them. He walked toward the bedroom, but stopped at the basement door.
The next night up at Squaw Peak Overlook, Lizzie decided Duke was right. The stars were lovely. In the days before the Quieting there would have been too much light pollution from the city, but tonight was clear and cold. Lizzie shivered as a wind picked up.
Duke pulled her toward him. “You cold?”
“Yeah. Not used to this weather.” Lizzie let him. “Aren’t you cold?”
Duke shrugged. “Used to spend a lot of time up at Mt. Baker. Snowboarding. Go until you couldn’t feel anything on the ends of your extremities.”
“Doesn’t that kind of spoil the fun?” Her hand slipped toward one of those ends as Duke scooted away and stood up.
“I’ll get the blanket out of my truck.”
“Wait,” Lizzie said, but his warmth had already left her.
He returned with a big wool blanket labeled ARMY in faded letters. He spun it around her back and sat down next to her.
“How come you’re so nice?”
“Having the Dad and brother I had? I had to be nice. But I’m not. Not really nice. Not always. It’s not like I never get mad. It just takes so long that it seems like it. When I do? I really let loose.
He pulled her back toward him. The blanket fell off as he nuzzled into her chest.
After he held her for a while he pulled her shirt back and his finger traced the outline of the tribal inspired sun and moon tattoo around her belly button. She’d designed it in her high school drawing class and managed to find a tattoo artist who would accept Nev’s note from her ‘mom.’ That was the last time Lizzie had been successful in convincing Nev to break the rules. Well, except for the post-apocalyptic shopping trip to the mall. Lizzie let her eyes fall shut as a vision of Nev posing in a push up bra and lace panties played out in her head.
Lizzie squirmed as a shivering yawn shook her whole body. She tugged the blanket up. “Gonna have to check it out by braille or use a flashlight. It’s cold.”
Duke’s breath escaped in a big burst and then he took another back in. It seemed as if he’d forgotten to breathe.
He grinned up at her and pulled out his cell phone. He flipped on the light and with a lascivious grin he pulled the blanket over himself. She could feel his warm breath on her leg as his finger tickled again. She shuddered again, as his fingers slipped further. The stars up above again caught her attention as she warmed up under the blanket. Thoughts of Bellingham and the reasons she’d left crowded out the pleasantness of other sensations. Duke’s brother C.J.s body, naked and bloody on the bath mat blocked out any change of warming up today.
“Let’s go back to the city. We’re gonna freeze out her.” She tossed the blanket aside and shoved her shirt down.
Duke stared at her, confusion clouding his face. “Okay.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
WHEN THEY GOT TO THE safe house, Lizzie let Duke lead her downstairs. He put on some mellow music and pulled off his shirt, moving in to kiss her.
She let her lips move against Duke's as her brain worried about the new ruling. In a way she was lucky to already be pregnant, but that didn’t help Rachael, Jess or Nev. Betsy had been the smart one. She was probably out on the coast by now. Duke's body and how he used it had been helping her forget some of the shit she didn't want to think about.
“Lizzie?”
“Yeah?” But it wasn't working now.
“You're someplace else.”
Lizzie wanted to lie, to kiss him and then push him further down under the covers. “Yeah.” Instead she slid away from him and pulled her legs up as near to her chest as she could, wrapping her arms around them in a self-hug. “Sex is better than cigarettes.”
“For what?” Duke snagged the comforter from the foot of the bed and wrapped it around the two of the
m.
Lizzie tugged it in close. “For nerves. Anxiety.”
He chuckled. “I'd have to agree.”
She bit her lip until it hurt. “But it only does so much.” Lizzie relaxed as his arms wrapped around her, leaving his shoulders exposed. “Aren't you cold?”
“No. But you are.”
“Ouch.”
Duke held his hands up. “Hey. I didn’t mean that way. You’re all wound up, aren’t you?”
“Yeah.” She lay back and stared at the popcorn textured ceiling.
Duke wrapped her in his arms, his warm hand slipping onto her belly.
“Thanks for being here for Saj. Last week, taking him to the park when I had had too much. That was life-saving. For me and him!”
“He's a great kid.” Duke squeezed her gently. “You ever think about his parents?”
Lizzie nodded. “Yeah. And all the other kids like him who weren't as lucky.”
“Shit. That's a downer.”
“Yeah. Sorry. I’m a barrel of laughs this evening.” The words of one of her counselors came back. You probably can’t make the darkness go away, but you get to decide how you face it. Head on. Lizzie grasped the bottom her own shirt, pulled it off over her head, and straddled him. “Shall we go tenting?” she asked as sensually as she could. as she flipped the comforter over them, shutting out most of the light. Fake it till you make it.
“Yes,” he answered. Then they stopped talking.
A while later, lying warm in his arms, Lizzie zoned. Electronic buzzing brought her back to full consciousness. What time was it? Her phone was in a pile by the door. With a sigh of regret she pulled herself from Duke’s warmth and slipped out from under the covers. He shifted to his side, his eyes still closed. She wrapped the comforter around herself and stumbled toward the phone. The little toe of her foot caught on the foot of the chair. “God-damn it!”
Duke shot up. “What happened?”
“I think I broke my damn toe on the chair.” She hopped over to her jeans and pulled the phone from the back pocket.
Deserted Lands (Book 2): Straight Into Darkness Page 21
