by J. L. Jarvis
Marco hurried to finish his shift at the bar then went upstairs to study, but for a long while, he stared at his phone. It was none of his business how Lydia’s date had gone. But what if she’s lying in the gutter somewhere? Sure, Bryce looked okay on paper, but Marco still wasn’t sure he bought Bryce’s whole nice-guy act. Someone needed to check and make sure Lydia was okay. Of course, her mother would notice if she didn’t come home. But her mother could be out with Dylan and have no idea her daughter was in trouble. He doubted Lydia had even told her mother that she had a coffee non-date. Marco was the only one in a position to save her if she needed saving. If something happened, Marco would never forgive himself for not having checked up on her. So that was that. It had to be done.
Marco: Are you still alive?
Lydia: Very.
Marco: Where are you?
Lydia: Home.
Marco: Good.
Lydia: Did you need something?
Marco: No, I’m good.
Lydia: Me too. See you tomorrow.
Marco: You’re driving.
Lydia: I know.
Marco: Okay, bye.
Lydia: Bye.
Marco swiped away the text window. Very alive? What’s that supposed to mean?
Six
Marco was standing outside, ready to go the next morning when Lydia picked him up. He realized he might appear overly eager to see her, but he couldn’t help it. He was. Marco couldn’t seem to shake the tendency to cringe every time he thought about Lydia’s date the previous night. Not wanting to make matters worse, he had promised himself that he wouldn’t make an issue of it. He got in and put a coffee in her cup holder.
“What’s this?”
“What does it look like? It’s coffee.”
She practically sang, “That was so nice of you! Thanks!”
Marco frowned. “Relax. It’s just coffee.”
Lydia laughed. “I am relaxed. I just thought it was nice. You’re nice.”
“You’re… in an awfully good mood.” I wonder why. That made him cranky.
“Am I? I guess because it’s the last day of final exams before Christmas, it’s the start of winter break—and it’s a new day.”
Marco practically spit out his coffee. “You have got to be kidding me! You are not a morning person! Who are you, and what have you done with my friend?”
She gave him a disapproving sideways glance, but instead of answering him, she started humming along with the music on the stereo.
“That sounds festive.” Did I say festive? I meant insipid. “I don’t think you’ve played this before.”
She gave the same light, carefree smile she’d had on her face all morning. Why does that annoy me so much? Then she said, “Oh, I don’t know what it is. This is Bryce’s Christmas Spotify playlist. He shared it with me.”
“Oh.” Well, isn’t that just adorable. I hate that carol… and singer… and, obviously, Bryce’s taste in music.
He decided that talking just wasn’t going to work, so he folded his arms and stared out the window. Sharing playlists. It must be true love. Marco suddenly felt ill. It could be true love. He had never thought about Lydia falling in love. She was just Lydia, his friend. That Lydia would never have fallen in love and left him behind all alone. No, you’re overreacting. It was only one date. Get a grip. Be a man.
Lydia parked the car and turned to face him. “Are you okay?” She looked genuinely concerned.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know. You kind of look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”
Marco tried to look cheerful. “Really?” He chuckled weakly. “No, I’m fine.” He glanced at his watch. “I’d better get going.”
“But we’re a few minutes early.”
Crap. She’s right. Uh… “I’ve got an exam, and I need to study my notes.”
Lydia looked a little confused. “Okay. Good luck.”
“With what?”
“Your exam.” Her confused expression intensified.
“Oh, right. Thanks!” Marco hopped out of the car and headed quickly to class. Maybe he had seen a ghost. The ghost of Bryce-mas future.
All Marco needed was a little time and space, so he took a few days off from Lydia. He had dealt with that dynamic before, only the roles were reversed. Of course, he and Lydia weren’t dating. It was nothing like that at all. But he kept wanting to reach out for more time and attention than she seemed inclined to give him. The relationship was out of balance, and he couldn’t help it. That was a red flag that something was wrong.
It was time for some space, and if past experience bore out his expectations, it would mark the beginning of something he called the drifting. Far subtler and kinder than ghosting, it resembled the downside of a relationship bell curve. Scheduling conflicts would crop up, then a private message might be left unanswered until the next day. Voicemail messages would be lost then phone calls ignored. There would be no emotional break. They would simply drift away from each other like a slowly peeled-off adhesive bandage. What distinguished it from past experiences was that Lydia would be the drifter and he the one being drifted from. He doubted she would even do it intentionally, but he saw it coming. It might be best if he preemptively put distance between them for a while. He needed to get her off of his mind. After Lydia worked through her Bryce phase, they could return to the way things used to be.
By Friday, Marco was feeling himself. Once again confident and in control, he was ready to face an unavoidable weekend together. It was the weekend of the town’s annual Christmas market, in which local merchants set up booths full of gifts, food, and other magical Christmas delights. For the Silva Brothers’ Brewpub, theirs was the magic of beer, and the booth next to theirs would house Allie’s gift shop, the Gallery, where Lydia worked. Marco and Theo spent Friday afternoon setting up their booth and installing three kegs and taps along with an impressive display of their own bottled craft beers. Allie shared some of her evergreen garlands to decorate the brewpub’s booth.
Things were shaping up beautifully until Lydia arrived. Marco thought he had sufficiently braced himself for a weekend an arm’s length away from Lydia. But seeing her after a few days apart brought a sinking feeling he fought hard to shake. It was a good thing, he reasoned. He had had a few days to recover from his recent obsession with her. It was merely a test, and he had recovered. He’d been attracted to women before and had always gotten over them.
Marco stopped in his tracks. An attraction? Who said anything about an attraction? All the balsam fir scent was affecting his brain. He shook it off and got back to work.
When they finish setting up both of their booths, Theo stood beside Allie, admiring their work. “Why don’t you come over for dinner?”
“That sounds great!”
Of course, he meant Lydia too. That was great. Just great.
They locked up the booths and all headed over to the Silva Brothers’ Brewpub. Knowing they would be busy at the Christmas market, Theo had staffed up for the weekend. Taking advantage of the situation, he decided they’d earned a meal off-duty. So the four of them sat in the midst of the candlelit Christmas magic that Allie and Lydia had created, and they dined.
Lydia’s hair was twisted into a knot with strands falling down here and there. For someone who had been working all day, she looked awfully cute. Messy hair was a good look for her, and the candlelight was a little bit dangerous. It was the kind of soft lighting that could confuse a guy prone to such things, but Marco was stronger than that.
Theo and Allie carried the conversation for the first several minutes, but a lull settled over the table, and Marco felt the need to fill in the void.
“So, how’s Bryce?” He blurted it, then he wondered where it had come from.
Lydia’s eyebrows drew together. He couldn’t quite tell whether it was confusion or a hint of annoyance in her eyes. “He’s fine.”
“That’s good.”
Lydia eyed him suspiciously. “Is it?�
��
Okay, that was annoyance. Taking his cue from her reaction, Marco backed off and stopped talking.
By morning, the mood between them had thawed, no doubt aided by the steady flow of customers that kept both booths busy. Christmas music played throughout the market, and the weather, although cold, cooperated with clear, sunny skies. Even Marco was beginning to feel the holiday spirit. When Theo suggested they all get lunch from a barbecue booth a few aisles down, Marco volunteered to go pick up their order.
When it came time to take Lydia’s order, she said, “Oh. No thank you, nothing for me.”
Marco said, “You’ve got to eat.”
She averted her eyes. “I’ve got other plans.”
He raised an eyebrow then turned to take care of a customer.
Shortly after Marco returned with the lunch, Theo and Allie ducked behind their awnings to eat and Bryce appeared at Lydia’s booth.
“I’m on duty for a few minutes more.” She said it quietly, but Marco had stepped outside of the booth to readjust the garland placement, which happened to place him in an optimal location for overhearing. It couldn’t be avoided.
Bryce, as cheerful as always, said, “No problem. I’ll just check out some of this craft beer next door.”
Great. Five minutes of tortured politeness followed, during which Marco answered far too many questions about craft beer. For a guy who didn’t brew his own, Bryce had an unnatural interest in hops. Marco had just about lapsed into a coma when Allie and Theo returned from their lunch break. Bryce quickly bought a four-pack of beer, left it in Lydia’s booth, then swept her away for an enchanting Christmas ramble through the picturesque market. Meanwhile, Marco ducked behind the booth, sat on a cooler, and scarfed down his lunch all alone.
That gave him time to himself to think through the whole Lydia thing. He’d been so busy all morning with customers that he hadn’t been able to. She and Bryce looked happy together, which should have been good for Lydia. She deserved to be happy. If Bryce makes her happy, who am I to object? Yet he did. In so many areas of her life, Lydia had excellent taste. She’d chosen Marco as a friend, for one thing. But Bryce wasn’t quite up to par. Marco couldn’t say why. He just felt something was off.
After analyzing the situation from all angles, he concluded that he was just being overprotective, like any brother would be. Still, he would keep an eye on Bryce. Someone had to, since Lydia’s mother seemed to be asleep at the wheel. She was too much in love herself to see beyond her rose-colored glasses to what was really going on with her daughter. Or perhaps she was just happy to see Lydia dating. Marco had never known her to date—not that she couldn’t have. She’d mentioned something about dating, but that was way in the past. There was nothing to keep her from dating. She was cute, smart, and more fun to be with than anyone else in their small community. Her problem was that she was too good for anyone that might have shown interest in her. She deserved someone special—which Bryce was not. That guy had his work cut out for him just to make the cut into average.
By the time Marco finished his lunch, he had determined that the best course of action would be to step back from Lydia’s life, which, come to think of it, had already been the plan. She didn’t need two men in her life, and besides, Marco had become way too closely involved. In doing so, he had broken his own rule where women were concerned—not that Lydia was a woman. Well, she was, but she wasn’t a woman he was involved with, at least not romantically. They were friends. Why is this starting to get so confusing?
Bryce and Lydia returned from their lunch date hand in hand. Don’t they look precious? Ugh. Marco busied himself rearranging the stock while Theo rang up a customer. Unfortunately, he could only do so much work in a tiny beer kiosk also manned by his brother, so he managed to stay well aware of what was going on next door. Apparently, more people liked buying beer than buying art and needlework, because the Gallery’s booth had enough of a lull for Bryce to lean over the counter, chin on hand, and chat up Lydia. Isn’t she on the clock? She must have some work to do. But Allie seemed unperturbed. She was too easy on her employee. If it were up to Marco, he would have sent the guy packing.
After what felt like hours but was, according to Marco’s watch, twenty minutes, Bryce finally left. That guy needed a hobby. He had too much time on his hands.
Almost immediately after Bryce left, the two booths were deluged by post-lunch shoppers and latecomers. By the time it let up, it was almost time to close for the day. Not much was left to do after Marco had used the excess energy he’d whipped up from his irritation with Bryce to get things in order. Allie and Lydia locked up their booth almost as quickly.
Theo and Allie would have plans, of course, which meant they would all have to walk out together. Lydia walked beside Marco in silence until they were nearly at the entrance gate. “Marco, what’s wrong?”
He hadn’t expected directness. In truth, he had assumed she was blissfully unaware of his state of mind. “Nothing’s wrong. I’ve just been working all day.”
“Oh really?” She mocked him, sweeping her hand over her forehead for dramatic effect and whined. “A whole day of work. That must be so hard.” Just in case he couldn’t tell she was being sarcastic, she seemed to feel the need to roll her eyes to drive home the point.
For all of the thought he had put into the situation, the best response he could come up with was a shrug.
Lydia stared for a moment then shook her head. “If this is what you’re like after one day of working the Christmas market, I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah? Well, I can’t wait to see you either.” Brilliant retort. I guess you showed her!
“Why, Marco! I didn’t know you cared.” She was toeing the line between sarcastic and bitter.
But Marco didn’t fall into her trap. He hit her straight on with a bold comeback. “Well, I do!” Dammit. That’s not what I meant.
On the plus side, that left her speechless, but it was only for a couple of moments. “Wow. Sorry I asked.”
Marco narrowed his eyes. “But you did. You couldn’t just let it go and ignore my bad mood.”
Lydia’s eyes clouded over. “No, because I care about you too. I know something’s wrong. Asking was just a formality.”
He was in no mood for that edge to her voice. “Well, now that we’ve dispensed with the formalities, I think we’re done here.”
If only they hadn’t had another fifty yards to walk before they reached their cars. Apparently, it took a long time to walk that distance in total silence.
Lydia shortened the misery by lifting her chin and speed-walking away. Without turning back, she called, “Allie, I’ll be in the car.”
It was a strong exit, until she arrived at the car and discovered it was locked. While she tried all four doors, Marco bit his lip and barely managed to suppress his amusement. Allie was too busy laughing at something Theo had said to notice Lydia’s dilemma. That was when Lydia unwittingly used her secret weapon. Seething, she folded her arms, crossed her legs, and leaned back against the car. Lydia was pouting. Marco couldn’t resist smiling. He couldn’t stay annoyed when she looked so adorably furious. It almost made the rest of the day’s aggravation worth it. Almost.
Seven
Without Marco’s knowledge, the plan had been made for them all to go back to the bar and have dinner. Lydia had ridden with Allie, and Marco lived and worked there, so neither had a way out.
As they sat down to dinner, Marco said, “I’m surprised Bryce isn’t here. Where is he—out curing cancer this evening?”
Lydia gave him a wry look. “No, he did that after lunch. What did you do?”
Theo and Allie stopped talking.
I thought about you. ”Excuse me. Mel looks like she could use some help at the bar.”
Marco arrived at the bar to find a total of three people with full drinks in hand, but the bar was the best place for him at the moment. He chatted with Mel for a minute then went to the back for some beer to
fill the already-full cooler. Before he could pick up a case, he heard footsteps behind him.
“Theo, leave me alone.”
“Wow, I need some new shoes if these make me sound like Theo.”
Marco shut his eyes for a moment then turned around. “Allie, I’m fine. It’s nothing to worry about.”
“I know you’re fine, but Lydia isn’t. What’s the matter with you? She won’t give you the satisfaction of showing it, but you’ve hurt that girl’s feelings.”
Marco turned around with every expectation of hiding his feelings from Allie, but one look in her eyes, and he knew she’d seen through him. How she’d managed to figure it out was beyond him, since he had only just figured it out himself.
“Oh,” she said as if he had just bared his whole soul.
“Oh what?” He needed to deny it, yet he couldn’t. That would be lying, and lying to her would be almost like lying to Theo. He just couldn’t do it. Instead, he exhaled and met her knowing look with what must have been sadder eyes than those of a whimpering puppy.
“Does she know?” Then she answered her own question. “Of course not. Otherwise, she’d understand instead of sitting out there feeling like she’s just lost her best friend—which you are. Marco, you’ve got to tell her how you feel.”
Eloquent genius that he was, Marco just shook his head. He couldn’t even form words.
“So, you’re just going to leave things like this?”
“I don’t know.” He had said words. That was progress.
Allie was speechless next, but she rallied soon enough. “Well, you’ve got to do something sooner rather than later, or you’ll lose a friend who cares deeply about you.”
“Don’t you think I know that? Just what would I say? I barely understand what’s going on myself, so how could I explain it to her? I just need some time to work through this.”
