by Angela Blake
She adjusted her camera on its stand, but it didn’t quite seem right. She didn’t hear the clicking noise, but it was time to film. There was no time to fidget with it and try to figure out what had gone wrong.
The scene started, and Ashlyn took a wide shot of the characters talking. This was a boring scene, and they didn’t move around a lot. She didn’t really need to be looking at her camera a lot. Ashlyn peeked up to see what Javon was doing. He appeared occupied talking to this girl, but Ashlyn couldn’t see his face. Was he laughing? Was she funny? Did he think she was sexy too?
Ashlyn focused back on her camera. She didn’t even need to zoom in or anything. Her camera could basically maintain itself. She peeked up again, and Javon was not with the girl anymore. Ashlyn frantically looked around. Where had he gone?
She suddenly felt someone right behind her, and Ashlyn jumped away in surprise.
She banged into her camera, and it tumbled off the stand onto the ground. Ashlyn stared down at it in horror.
Chapter Five
Ashlyn looked around to see if anyone had noticed. Everyone was looking at the camera on the ground. Ashlyn hurried toward it to scoop it up and evaluate its injuries. Maybe it wasn’t so bad. Ashlyn knew that cameras like this were worth thousands of dollars, and she didn’t have that kind of money. Ashlyn kept trying to assure herself that it might not really be so bad. She just needed to look it over. It still seemed to be in one piece, and it had landed on a bed of pine needles.
Gary was already coming over toward Ashlyn, and his face was red with anger. Ashlyn backed away, leaving the camera where it was.
“Get out of my sight!” Gary sputtered, getting two other cameramen to carefully lift the camera onto a table to assess its damage. Ashlyn stopped for a moment. This didn’t mean she was fired. Did it? No, she wasn’t fired.
Ashlyn backed away, and she bumped right into Javon. He had seen the whole thing. He had caused the whole thing. He must have been what had startled her into jumping. Ashlyn suddenly felt angry. It was his fault! If she lost her job over him, she was not going to be happy!
All of those fluffy, fun feelings from the morning were gone as she turned on him in the full force of her anger. “I can’t believe you did that!” she shouted, her anger pouring out of her. “If you hadn’t startled me, then the camera wouldn’t have fallen!”
Javon shook his head and crossed his arms. “It was cute yesterday. It isn’t cute today.”
“What? Are you even having the same conversation as me? What were you even doing close to where I was filming?”
“I wanted to watch you, just so you know,” Javon said. “I didn’t know that was a crime. You said not to make any noise yesterday, so I didn’t. I guess nothing is right for you.”
Javon wasn’t shouting, but his tone was condescending which was enough to annoy Ashlyn. She wanted him to feel bad or apologize or tell Gary that it was his fault. If Ashlyn lost her job, that would stamp her resume. If Gary lost his part as an extra, no one would care.
“No, it’s not that. But you shouldn’t even be here. I thought our deal meant that you would leave me alone every single day of filming. I didn’t know we had to go on a daily date to pay off my debts.” Ashlyn crossed her arms, her voice becoming sarcastic.
“I never said that,” Javon said, his beefy arms crossed as well. “Don’t put words in my mouth.”
“Fine, maybe I’ll stuff them up your asshole,” Ashlyn replied. “That’s about where they belong.” She shook her head in disgust. “Are you trying to make me lose my job?”
“If you don’t know how to take care of your camera, I don’t think that’s my fault, even though you’d like to blame it on someone else. Maybe if you had been paying attention, if wouldn’t have happened.”
“I was paying attention!” Ashlyn yelled. “I don’t know what else you want.”
“I think you know what I want,” Javon said. He bit his lip and looked her over as though he wasn’t bothered at all by her problem. Ashlyn wanted to scream and tear her hair out all at the same moment. She stomped away. Maybe she was acting like a baby, but this was the worst possible thing that could have happened to her right now.
Gary called her over, and Ashlyn hurried. She had to beg him for forgiveness, explain what had happened. She didn’t know what exactly, but she had to do something, and she had to do it quickly to save her little career.
Gary’s face wasn’t nearly as red and angry as it had been before. Ashlyn wondered if this was his “you’re fired” face, like the calm before a storm. “Ashlyn,” he said, “it is Ashlyn, correct?”
Ashlyn nodded respectfully.
“This camera is worth over three thousand dollars.”
“Yes sir.”
“You are very lucky that nothing happened to it. It must have fallen just right on these pine needles to have not been hurt, but it functions correctly.” Ashlyn felt a little spot of rising hope within her. This wasn’t as bad as it had seemed. “You have one last chance. If anything like this happens ever again, then I will have to let you go. Do you understand?”
Ashlyn nodded. “Thank you! Thank you, Gary.”
Gary was already turning away. Ashlyn wanted to kiss the camera for its strength under inspection. She still had a job! She still had hope for the future! Ashlyn turned around to tell Javon that it was okay. The camera wasn’t ruined. Javon wasn’t anywhere around her. Ashlyn visually searched every square foot of the space used by their filming crew. He had left.
Chapter Six
Ashlyn felt unsettled as she tried to carefully finish her day. Javon had left. She didn’t think he had any more parts in the movie. He was just an extra after all. She was surprised he had been there as much as he had. What if she never saw him again?
Ashlyn felt sick to her stomach. She had been such a fool. Why did she always become so angry? It was like when she felt angry she couldn’t control herself. Her mom had always told her that her anger would ruin her one day, and now, Ashlyn felt like that day had come. Her anger had now ruined the blooming relationship she was experiencing with Javon.
Ashlyn was super careful to clip her camera on correctly to the dolly. She didn’t want another mistake, but even her perfect filming for the day did nothing to settle her stomach.
“You are a lucky girl,” Pamela said as they rode together back to the hotel. “I can’t believe the camera didn’t break.”
“Great, is that what everyone is talking about?” Ashlyn asked. “About me being a fool on set today?”
“Honey,” Pamela said, giving Ashlyn a sympathetic look, “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way. We obviously have a lot more time that we will be spending together, but you are still very childish. You don’t keep your problems and emotions inside to deal with in a private manner. You just let them explode out of you. You’ve only been on set a few days, and it seems as though you are always arguing with one of the extras.”
Ashlyn clenched her jaw, not liking Pamela’s words at all. “It’s not a bad thing to let your emotions show,” she said as she had always told her mom. “People always know where they stand with me. You don’t think I like you when I really don’t, not because of some game.”
“But when people are angry, me too, I act like a totally different person, a person that I don’t even like myself. So, if you want some life advice, here it is. Don’t do anything or say anything when you’re angry. Let it pass over.”
Ashlyn nodded like she was listening, but she knew that Pamela’s words wouldn’t actually help her in a real-life situation. When she was angry, she had to let the person know how she was feeling. She didn’t think she could change that, even though it was coming back to bite her now. Ashlyn wanted to cry as she thought about her lost opportunity with Javon. Maybe she hadn’t known him very well, but sometimes, when you meet a person, you immediately feel something for them. Javon had been one of those people.
“I’m going out,” Ashlyn said to Pamela when they reached
their hotel room.
“I know you love this job,” Pamela said. “Make sure you don’t forget that when you are dealing with whatever you are doing tonight.”
Ashlyn wanted to stick her tongue out at Pamela, like who asked you to be my mom, but Ashlyn didn’t. She just showered and changed. She didn’t really have anywhere to be, but she wanted to go back to the Red Lobster. She wanted to see the sunset again and see if it was really as amazing as she remembered.
Maybe a tiny part of her was hoping that Javon would be there. She didn’t have his number, and her visit was sort of a final effort to fix what she had broken.
Ashlyn went up the back stairs onto the restaurant’s patio. She never would have known about the passageway if Javon hadn’t shown her the night before. Ashlyn sat on a little bench on the edge of the patio and looked up at the sky. The sunset was still an hour away. She had a long time to wait.
Ashlyn closed her eyes and let the warm sunshine wash over her upturned face. When she was young, she had always tried to get as tan as possible during the summer. The last few summers since college, she had been too busy going here and there looking for work that she hadn’t had time to enjoy being outdoors as much.
Ashlyn took a deep breath and tried to mentally prepare herself for moving on. They would be done filming in eight days anyway. She didn’t know if she would ever come back to Georgia. It was probably for the best that things had ended quickly and cleanly,
“Ashlyn.”
She heard her name spoken, and she jumped up. There, standing at the top of the patio stairs was Javon. He looked just as handsome as he had the other night. She wanted to jump into his arms and beg for his forgiveness. She wanted to kiss him so that he would know she was sorry for yelling at him, that she really wanted something more with him.
“Javon,” she said. She started walking toward her, but he held up his hand for her to wait. He came to her, over to the bench that overlooked where the sun would sink down. Ashlyn looked at Javon uncertainly. How should she react to him? What should she do?
“I’m sorry,” Ashlyn finally said, looking Javon steadily in the eyes. “I know I was wrong.”
Javon’s eyes fluttered down to Ashlyn’s lips, and he bent down, halting right before he reached her lips. “I have to kiss you,” he said.
Ashlyn closed the space, pressing her lips onto his. She parted his lips before the first moments of their kiss had passed, and she pushed her tongue into his mouth. She was fighting for forgiveness, pushing into him to show him that she hadn’t meant what she had said.
They kissed and kissed, but Ashlyn wanted more. She wanted him to want more. She wanted to make him have so much desire for her that he simply couldn’t wait any longer. Ashlyn slowly pushed her hips toward him, feeling his erection pressing into her. Javon broke off their kissing to groan.
“Let’s go to my place,” he said.
Ashlyn nodded, acting as a robot obeying her master. “Okay,” she said gently. Javon paused for a moment to look her over. Then, he took her hand and carefully let her down the stairs and around to the parking lot. Ashlyn’s heart was beating hard and loud. She was making a decision, a decision she couldn’t change later even if she wanted to.
Javon opened the car door, and Ashlyn hesitated. She looked back at him, waiting for that last little shove. Javon smiled at her then smacked her ass. It sent such a wave of desire up and down her that Ashlyn stepped forward and sat in the passenger seat. She watched as Javon went around to the driver’s seat. They were missing the sunset, but it didn’t seem to matter.
Javon got in his seat, and Ashlyn couldn’t take her eyes off him. She wanted to taste him, but at the same time, she didn’t want to go anywhere with him.
“Javon,” she whispered, his name flowing across her lips. He turned and focused his deep brown eyes on her.
“Yes?”
“I need to kiss you again right now,” Ashlyn replied, biting her lower lip, her eyes unable to remove themselves from his lips.
“I think that is a wish I can grant,” Javon said. He leaned over, and their lips met again. Their kissing started a fire within Ashlyn, and she wanted to keep kissing him. She didn’t ever want to stop. Ashlyn felt Javon’s hand brush across her breast, and she hesitated. He would make her feel good. She knew that, but then would it all be over?
Javon’s hand came back and gently squeezed Ashlyn’s breast. She broke off the kissing so she could groan. Did he know what he was doing to her insides?
“I’d take you right now if it weren’t so public,” Javon murmured, his eyes focused on her as he gently slipped his hand under the edge of her shirt. She felt his fingers creeping across her stomach and around to the back. He unfastened her bra then looked up and smiled right into her eyes.
Ashlyn shivered and waited for him to continue. She was poised, and she knew that her nipples had already hardened. She wanted him right there.
“Go ahead,” Ashlyn urged. It seemed as though she was under a spell as she fought with herself between wanting him and choosing to be responsible.
Javon leaned forward and bit her bottom lip, a little harder than he had before. “I don’t think you know what you’re asking for. I’m going to take you to my house, and I’m going to keep you up all night with that I’m going to do to you.”
Ashlyn backed up. Maybe he thought he sounded sexy, but it really just scared her. Maybe it would feel amazing, but if Javon just wanted a good time, was it worth it? While she wasn’t a virgin, it had been so long that Ashlyn had fantasized about waiting until she was engaged at least. She wanted to have Javon right then, but she didn’t want to regret it. The fear started picking at her increasingly as Javon leaned her seat backward so that she was laying straight. Was she going to go through with this, with him?
Chapter Seven
Javon pulled Ashlyn’s shirt up, then straddled her. He pressed his erection into her and smiled. “Oh, Ashlyn, you don’t know how much I have thought about how I want to have sex with you.”
His words scared Ashlyn, igniting the fear that had been building in her. She pushed her shirt down and struggled to sit up. Javon gently pushed her shoulders back down again.
“It’s okay, Ashlyn,” he said. “You’re going to like this.”
“I don’t want to,” Ashlyn said, her eyes becoming wide as she sat up again. “I don’t want to!” She didn’t really need to say it again except that she was scared that she hadn’t said it loud enough.
“Hey, I won’t do it if you don’t want,” Javon said, moving back to his seat and watching her strangely. “What’s wrong? Why don’t you want me now?”
Ashlyn couldn’t tell if she was really shaking or if she was just imagining it. “I just don’t want to. I have never been the kind of girl to sleep with guys just because, and I don’t want to be that kind of girl now.”
“It doesn’t have to be just because,” Javon joked. “I’ll give you a reason.”
Ashlyn shook her head, already removing herself from the moment. She struggled to clasp her bra as she talked. “I’m not ready for that. I want to be in a relationship with a guy before I get that intimate with him.”
“Are you saying you don’t want a relationship with me?” Javon lifted his eyebrows. He looked genuinely surprised, and it set Ashlyn back for a few minutes. What was he trying to say? That he actually wanted something more than sex from her? She somehow couldn’t believe it.
“I don’t know,” she said. “I think we would need to know each other better. But, the film crew is leaving town in eight days. Then, I might never come back here.”
“Well, you’d have to move of course,” Javon said. “But you can leave the crew, or you can finish the movie if you want first, then you can come back.”
“But I can’t film if I live here,” Ashlyn said, the idea so ridiculous that she couldn’t even think straight about it.
“That doesn’t matter,” Javon said. “I have enough money to give you anything you want. And
as for what you need, well, I can take care of that at night in bed.”
Ashlyn swallowed. The idea wasn’t even a possibility. Was Javon crazy? “I don’t think that would work,” Ashlyn said.
“Don’t tell me you wouldn’t like to go to bed with me every night. Just think,” Javon’s voice dropped, “we could shower together. I can help you with all of those hard-to-reach spots. Then, I’ll give you a massage to get rid of all your stress. And then, I’ll just strip you down and show you who’s boss.”
Ashlyn shook her head, even though her body like the sound of his suggestions. “I-I can’t. I love filming. It’s my life. I can’t give that up, not for anyone.”
“What if your life was receiving pleasure?” Javon replied. “What if you didn’t need to work to make ends meet, but I could provide everything you ever wanted? Tell me that doesn’t sound attractive.”
“No,” Ashlyn said more firmly. “I can’t do that. I’ve always wanted to film, and I would miss it if I couldn’t do it.”
“I could buy you a camera if that’s what you want. Come on, you will never find another guy offering you the kind of deal that I am.”
“I’m not interested,” Ashlyn said. “I don’t want a guy who just lives for pleasure. I want someone who cares about my needs. You just want to serve yourself, because you think it would be fun to have sex with me every night.” Ashlyn shook her head. “I’m not interested.”
“You are going to regret missing this opportunity,” Javon said, “but I won’t make you. It’s your choice, but I suggest you decide now.”
“I’ve decided,” Ashlyn tried to convince herself as her eyes continued to tour Javon’s body. “I can’t do something like that. You just want to do what you want to do, and in a couple of months, you would get bored with me and toss me away just like you want me to toss away my filming opportunity.” Ashlyn took a deep breath then let it out. “I’m sorry for yelling at you this afternoon. That was completely wrong of me, and I’m trying to learn to not yell so much when I’m angry.”
