“Yes, dear,” Peter said as he came in for a full body hug. “And you’re mine, whether we share a last name or not.”
Billy gave him a big smooch, pulled back, and grinned at his partner for life. “And I pity the fool who tries to break us apart,” he said, pulling Peter closer to him. “You’d be mine,” he said and kissed him again more thoroughly, “even if your name was Kermit the Frog.”
13 A Secondary Infection
October 27, 2013
Intensive Care Ward
Moses H. Cone Hospital
Greensboro, NC
“H ere, I thought you might want to do some reading.” Peter set down the blue plastic milk crate of books on the empty chair. “You mentioned you wanted to read these again. I know I’ve caught you staring at them a few times since your brother left. Maybe this will lift your spirits. Which one do you want to read first, hon?”
Billy winced at the weakness that Peter had seen in him. Peter saw the fleeting insecurity and moved closer to him. “I know I’m supposed to stay away, but damn it, you’re not going to get better unless you feel better about yourself. Just remember, whether you’re running first place in the Boston Marathon or lying in this bed with tubes up the Walla Walla and out the Yangtze, I love you. I want you to get better not only for you, but for me.” Peter leaned over and placed a slow, warm kiss on Billy’s forehead. “And anyone who says I can’t kiss you there can just piss off. No germs are going to hurt you there, right?”
“Right,” Billy said weakly.
“I know you miss your brother, but your mother needs you. And I do, too. You don’t realize how special you are to us. Besides, she’s getting tired of beating me at chess. You need to show me what strategy really is!”
Billy managed a weak but honest smile. “I’ll work on it. The first book is the one that’s on top.”
“I’m sorry, sir, but you’ll have to leave,” the nurse said as she came in with a fresh bag of antibiotics-enhanced saline solution.
“Okay.” Peter looked back at his weakened, sickly partner. “Here,” he said as he handed the book Lost to Billy. “You can tell me all about it when I get back. They’re sending me out to San Francisco for some conference,” Peter rolled his eyes, “but I should be back by this weekend. That should be just about enough time for you to plow through these.” Peter winked at him, blew him a discreet kiss, then smiled at the nurse as he left. “Be good to him,” he warned, “he’s the only one I’ve got.”
The nurse smiled back and said sincerely, “I’ll treat him like he was my own son,” then proceeded to change out the IV bags.
She looked back at the door as it closed, then down at Billy. “I’d say you have at least one very good reason to get better.” She poured more water into his cup and offered him the straw. Billy took a sip then looked up and said ‘thanks, that’s enough’ with his eyes. She made sure all his invasive polymer lines were flowing in and out correctly, and each of the umpteen electrodes was secured to the various inconvenient spots all over his body. She left with the parting words, “Be good.”
“Hmph,” Billy mumbled. He didn’t have enough energy even to be rambunctious, much less bad, and not enough strength or ambition to be anything but inert. But, he knew stressing over his situation was creating negative energy. Leah told him once that bad thoughts were the biggest hindrance to healing. He sighed and decided he’d do it Leah’s way: change his outlook and let the positive attitude of faith take over.
Billy sat up, turned on the reading lamp above his head, and gingerly brought up his knees. He set the book on his sheet-covered thigh reading desk. “Sinclaire, take me away,” he said as he opened up Lost, the first of the time traveling ‘fiction’ novels about Jody and Sarah Pomeroy and their family. “I may have to stay plugged in and tied up in this hospital, and they can pump me full of antibiotics and measure every heartbeat and white blood cell I have, but they can’t take away my fantasies or memories. Let’s see if there’s something in here about my family that I missed. Hmph. And I’ll see if I can get any insight on Benji. Maybe I can figure out where he took off to.”
14 Where’s Benji
November 4, 2013
Greensboro Police Station
D etective Burke, there's a woman here who says she has some information about the MacLeods.” Dyane put her hand around the mouthpiece and discreetly added, "I thought we had both of them locked up."
"Go ahead and send her in," he replied mechanically, hopefully hiding the tone of disgust that he felt. He had only been back to work one day from his second hospital stay and already had to deal with MacLeod issues!
Dyane escorted the insecure visitor to the door, giving Billy an eye roll and smirk before she left. Billy didn’t pay any attention to her unspoken comment about what she thought of the girl. But, he did make sure he shut the door behind the young woman so they would have complete privacy. His own personal policy was not to judge a person by his appearance or dress; looks were not only deceiving, they often out and out lied!
"Good afternoon, may I help you..." he prompted the scared and skinny teenaged girl for her name.
"Autumn," she said with head bowed. She ventured a look up and saw that Billy appeared to be genuinely interested in helping her. "I, I, I don't know what to do," she blurted out and began sobbing. She wanted a fix so badly. She knew it wasn't a solution, but would only make matters worse. Besides, there was the baby to think of.
Billy offered her the whole box of tissues from his desktop then sat back to let her get her emotions under control. "Take your time," he said. "You are my only concern, okay?"
Autumn sniffed and wiped her face then grabbed another double handful and gave her nose a more adequate honking. She took a deep breath and started the story that she had been practicing for three months.
“He told me he was going to Greensboro, North Carolina. He said he found out that this is where the MacLeods were heading. I was kind of out of it, so he gave me this.”
Billy took the worn, crinkled, and folded yellow note and recognized the large, sprawling handwriting immediately: it was Benji's. 'Give this woman safe passage and protect her from the MacLeod clan. Benji MacKay.'
Billy looked at the severely emaciated young girl and waited for the rest of the story.
“He said he didn't know, or 'ken' was the way he said it, if it would do any good, but it 'couldna do nae harm' to have a note. He said if I went to the police, they would help me.” She paused, “I didn't know you did that—help people, I mean.” The confused strawberry blonde looked at Billy, “I thought all you did was go out there and bust robbers and druggies and hoe, hoe, whores." She stumbled on the last word, grimaced, then said no more.
Billy gulped as he realized that this must be what the girl did. She certainly didn't look like a high school student with parents and teachers urging her to go to college. Her body looked young, but her eyes were old, like she had lived a rough life. She was also dirty. Her stringy autumn-colored hair had dyed streaks of hot pink color that had grown out at least an inch. It looked like she had been living in the short jean skirt and spaghetti strap tank top for at least a week by the food and sweat stains on them.
“How old are you,” he asked.
“Seventeen,” she admitted with a huff. "I don't want to lie anymore. I've been saying I'm 18 since I was 15. I ran away from home two years ago. I thought I knew it all. But I didn't and, well, can you help me?" she asked. She turned around to look through the door’s window, taking in the magnitude of the whole police department.
“Well, they might not be able to," he nodded toward the dozen or so personnel beyond the shut door, "But I can. Benji was my friend."
"Was?" she shrieked, her tears starting to re-emerge. “But, but...”
"He's fine, I'm sure. It's just he had some business to take care of. I believe he’ll be back through here in a few months. I'm sure we can find you accommodations in the meantime."
Autumn shifted in her seat wi
th discomfort. “Um, do you know somewhere I can stay that, um, has a shower? I feel really dirty and these are the only clothes I have.” The detective was a polite man, he hadn’t been staring at her, but she was self-conscious about her appearance. She could smell herself; he probably could, too.
“I’m sure we can find a place. But, do you want to tell me something first?” He could tell she was trying to shed an uncomfortable story, not just the dirty clothes. Reading body language was one of his specialties.
“He didn't want to do it,” she blurted out. Billy jumped up and closed the mini blinds on the door window. This was definitely a private matter.
“They beat his back. They used rubber hoses so it wouldn't show, but they still did it.” She sniffed and grabbed the box of tissues again. “And his wrists were bloody where they used those plastic ties to hold his hands together. I guess someone had come up from behind and knocked him out or given him a drug or something, because he was face down on the ground when I first saw him. He was huge!”
“Benji?” Billy asked, although he was sure that with the word ‘huge,’ she was speaking of him.
She nodded and continued her story. “‘You know what we'll do if you don't do your duty,' they told him. I was out of it. I needed a fix real bad. See, they told me that all I had to do was," she dipped her head down in shame, “'screw him' and that they’d fix me up, fix me up real good for three days if I made it look like he was liking it. Well, he looked at me and sighed real sad-like. ‘Only if she wants me to,' he said.
“Well, what I wanted was that fix. If I had to, um, you know, screw him, then that was fine by me. He had a stone face on him and I told him so. 'I'll do it to save ye,' he said, 'but I dinna have to enjoy it.’
“'Yes, you do,’ I told him. ‘If I don't make you like it, then they'll hurt me,’ I lied. I didn't want to tell him why he had to look like he was enjoying, um, screwing me; that it was the only way that they’d give me the drugs.
“So he did.” She shuddered as she recalled that hot summer day. “The worst part was them filming it. I mean, they were right in our, um, privates, the whole time, well, most of the time. They made him lick me all over. But, they never showed his back. The scars on his back were so, so ugly that the director—I guess that's what you’d call him, he was the man who held onto the drugs, anyways—he told the cameraman not to show the marks on his back.
“They had to stop filming once, too. Benji said he wouldn't do it without a condom, do the, um, penetration. The licking and kissing were okay, but he didn't want to chance me getting pregnant. It wouldn't be fair, after all.” She snorted, “Fair: he really did, does have a strong sense of good and bad, fair and unfair.
“Anyhow, ‘no way,’ the director hollered. Benji started to stand up, to stop everything, and then the director pulled out a pistol—a long, shiny one like in the Dirty Harry movies. He pointed it at Benji, but it didn't scare him none. He kept walking towards him. Then the director man pointed it at me and said, 'Snuff,' and Benji froze. 'Get back to suckin' on her tits,' he said, 'then go down all the way and make sure she's good and wet. That big thing of yours will split her if you don't. And you don't want to hurt her now, do you?’ And then he waved his gun over at me again.
“'It's okay,' I said to him. Shoot, I'd say anything. I heard the words they were sayin', but I didn’t care. I just wanted him to hurry up and get it done so I could get high. ‘Please look like you like me,’ I begged. 'Please, it will make it better.' Actually, it would, I mean, it did.
“Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the big baggie the director had in his hand, wavin' it at me like it was a big juicy steak to a starvin' dog. Well, Benji 'finished,’ the director said 'cut,' and called me over. ‘You did a real good job, Missy,’ he said. ‘You have a real nice mouth on you. Just blow me and I'll give you a bonus,’ and he waved a joint in the air. 'Real good shit,' he said.
“Benji wasn't tied up anymore. He couldn't be if he was going to, well, anyway, since he was awake and not conked out, and no one there was big enough to take him down, he started to leave. But, he saw the director with a syringe in his hand, getting ready to shoot me up, right here," she said as she pointed to a place between her middle two fingers. “Benji took two long steps, grabbed that man's wrist, and I swear, picked him up in the air, feet kicking away, and broke his wrist with his thumb. Really, just placed his thumb here," Autumn illustrated on her own forearm, “and went like," she pressed a spot just behind her wrist, “and snap, he broke it. The bone popped out and everything."
Autumn straightened her back in pride. "And he said that if he ever gave me or anyone else any drugs ever again, that he would find him and break his neck,” Autumn did more hand gestures, "just like that. And he meant it, too. He grabbed me by the wrist—he was gentle to me though, even though he could have broken me in two—and said, 'get dressed; we’re leaving.’
“He took me to a Taco Bell, made me eat a burrito, said beans were good for me, and told me that I had to go back home, no matter how much I didn't want to. I was feelin' sassy, I mean, I still needed—I mean wanted—a fix. ‘Why don't you go home,' I shouted. I should have been grateful, but that came later. I think he knew it would, too.
“’Here, drink this,’ he said and filled my little paper cup with water. ‘And keep drinkin' water until ye canna hold another drop. Then empty yer bladder and start all over again. And eat beans, lots of beans.’ I don't know what it was with him and beans, but he seemed to think that beans and water would cure me. I was mad at him because he wouldn't let me leave. I could have gone back to my street corner and made enough money to get high for at least a little bit. You see, I had an area in downtown where I'd give anyone a blowjob for $20. The pimps didn't bother with that area because it was so seedy. The men that hung out there didn't have much more than $20 and were happy to get any kind of sex. I wouldn't do anything more than that because I didn't want to get pregnant. I wasn't a virgin or anything. I, um, had, um, relations with my stepfather when I was younger, and that's why I left.” Autumn snorted in disgust. “At least he had the decency to use a condom.
“Anyway, until Benji, I hadn't 'gone all the way' in two years. And now, I, I, I really need some help. I can't get an abortion because I don't have the money. I don't want to try to do it myself. I had a girlfriend who did that and she got a terrible infection, and I think she's dead now. I haven't seen her in six months, at least. I was hoping Benji could pay for it.”
“NO!” Billy shouted, then brought it down a notch. “No!” he said at a lower volume, but with just as much loathing.
“What?” Autumn asked, shocked and suddenly afraid of the police detective. He had seemed like such a nice man, and now he was yelling at her.
“You're coming home with me, now,” Billy commanded. It was his first full day back to work in nearly a month. He had been tired, depressed, and burned out, but now his emotional fire was raging: he had a mission.
“Don't you have to work?” she asked meekly, hoping to avoid this suddenly excitable police officer.
“I got off work ten minutes before you came in,” Billy said in a gentler tone, now able to hold back his horror and fury at her suggestion. “I was staying late, just looking over some old papers. When Dyane called me and said that the MacLeods were involved, I decided we should probably talk.”
“Oh, they weren't the ones who did that to me or Benji. But he did write about them on the note,” she said. She didn’t want to lie to a cop, that was for sure. Plus, he seemed nice. Even if he did just lose his temper, he had calmed back down in a hurry. “Thanks for listening,” she said dejectedly and got up to leave.
“I said, you’re coming home with me, now,” Billy reiterated, but with supplication instead of bossiness.
“I appreciate the offer, but I stopped 'working' right after Benji helped me clean up. I mean, he was only with me for those three days, and I was out of it most of the time, but I promised him that I would never sell my bod
y again for drugs. Not for drugs or anything else,” she said sadly, wishing she could find some way to earn food and lodging.
“Oh, honey, you don't have to worry about me,” Billy said with a swish of his wrist and a big grin.
“OH, oh, sorry, I mean, that's good. At least, for me,” she said awkwardly as she realized that he was letting her know that he was gay. If that was the case, she could take a chance with him.
“Honey, it's good for me, too.” Billy laughed. “We'll take care of you and this baby,” he said with pride and determination.
“But I can't take care of a baby...” Autumn protested lamely.
“But I can. At least, between my partner and me we can. That is if all are agreeable,” Billy said softly. Yes, if Benji was going back in time to be with his Grandpa Jody, he’d be more than happy to have his baby.
15 Meet My Mom
“W e’re home,” Billy said as he pulled up to his apartment. “Why don’t you get cleaned up here, and then I’ll take you shopping.”
“Um,” Autumn stalled, looking down at her dirty outfit.
“Oh, don’t worry about a thing, darlin’. You can wear something of mine. I have a huge assortment of Hawaiian shirts and a few pair of shorts with drawstrings that will cinch right up so they don’t fall down and embarrass you. You’ll be dressed good enough for the Wal-Mart. Last time I checked, they didn’t have a dress code to get in.”
Billy looked over at his new charge and saw that she was wavering on an emotional fence rail between grinning and crying. But, no matter which way she leaned, she was still safe. And now he was here to nurture and protect her and the unborn child she carried. “Well, at least last time I checked all the sign said was ‘no shirt, no shoes, no service’ or something like that. However, I would think it best if you remembered to wear something underneath, just in case a wind kicks up. We don’t want you doin’ a Marilyn Monroe and makin’ all the other girls jealous with those pretty legs of yours…”
The Great Big Fairy Page 11
