by Leah Conolly
Elizabeth, still looking saddened, seemed not to have the energy to speak about the subject anymore or even debate with the countess. James looked over his shoulder, but the countess seemed to be engrossed in her card game. He shook his head. Just when he was starting to know more about Elizabeth, the countess had to get in the way.
Elizabeth’s mood was a little more somber for the rest of the day. Once the rain let up, James decided he should be on his way. He was more determined than ever to unlock Elizabeth’s mysteries, but how could he hope to do so without the countess getting in the way?
* * *
A few days later, the sun shone brightly over London. The streets were crowded with people, as James was driven to Isabelle’s house. He found himself glad that the party he would meet there was small. Just the sight of the packed streets had him longing for more solitude.
However, his spirits were dampened when he found Victoria had already arrived with a plan to ride to Hyde Park.
“It is such a lovely day,” Victoria said, “and we must take advantage of it.”
Isabelle agreed with her friend, saying that Elizabeth had not yet been to the park. James was less enthusiastic. While he would enjoy the fresh air, he knew that on a day like this, the park was destined to be overcrowded. He knew he would be overruled, however, and so he consented to the plan. Elizabeth was given no choice in the matter by the two other ladies, so the four of them soon departed in Elizabeth’s barouche for Hyde Park. As they approached, James could hear the noise. They drove into throngs of people, some in carriages and some walking, all talking, laughing, and taking advantage of the good weather.
James met Elizabeth’s eyes. Her expression betrayed her boredom, and her eyes drooped as if she were about to fall asleep. Victoria and Isabelle talked of driving the carriage around, but James finally spoke up against them.
“Shall we not take a walk along the footpath?” he suggested. “It will afford us the chance of meeting acquaintances more easily, and we may benefit from the exercise.”
Elizabeth smiled at him, perking up a little. They alighted from the carriage and walked on a crowded footpath through the park.
“This was not quite what I imagined when they told me of Hyde Park,” Elizabeth muttered, as they tried to maneuver through the crowds of people. She moved so quickly that James feared losing her in the crowd. He took her arm, causing her to pause, and guided her hand to his arm.
“Believe me,” James said, “you do not want to get lost here.”
Elizabeth blinked and then nodded. She looked over her shoulder to see Isabelle and the countess following a little further behind.
“One benefit to all the noise, I suppose,” Elizabeth said, “is that the countess will not ask that we tell her everything we say to one another.”
James chuckled. “That is very true.” She was right. Though it was crowded, the cover provided them with the best circumstances under which to talk.
“The last time we had a chance to speak privately, you mentioned your mother.” He swallowed. “Forgive me if it pains you to speak of it—”
“No,” Elizabeth interrupted, so softly that James could barely hear her. “It was smallpox. I was fourteen. My father…, he did not wish to trouble me, so he kept the severity of my mother’s condition from me.” She turned her face away from him, as they broke through the crowd and came to a quieter section of the park. “I did not have the chance to say goodbye.”
James’ heart softened, and he let a moment of silence pass. “I’m sorry.”
“Ever since then, Father has not been the same. He has not treated me like a daughter.” She shook her head and pressed her hand to her face. “Forgive me, I do not mean to speak rashly.”
For a moment, James was taken aback that she would apologize for such a thing when she had spoken rashly many times before. “Do not trouble yourself. I understand your grief. My father died in battle eight years ago. I did not get to say goodbye to him, either.”
Elizabeth pressed his arm and looked at him in sympathy. “Was that at the same time as your wife?”
As James looked into her eyes, he knew that she was not asking out of simple curiosity or for the sake of gossip, but so that she could understand him. Braith had given him the same look so many times.
“She died a little before.” Looking at Elizabeth suddenly brought back so many memories of Braith that he had to look away.
“How difficult it must have been for you.”
James nodded, thinking back on those dark times. “If it had not been for my mother, Oscar, and Isabelle, I do not know what would have become of me.”
“There you are!”
The cloud of levity was broken by Isabelle rushing forth with a smile. “We ran into Lady Fletcher wearing the most gorgeous gown! You should have seen it, Elizabeth. She looked stunning! Didn’t she, Victoria?”
But the countess’ eyes had narrowed, flashing between James and Elizabeth. James noted that she particularly seemed taken aback at Elizabeth’s hand on his arm.
“Yes, indeed” she said, absentmindedly.
“I am sorry to have missed it,” Elizabeth said, a sarcastic note in her voice. However, Isabelle seemed not to notice and carried on chattering.
They continued walking, though Isabelle carried most of the conversation. James felt pressure on his arm and looked down at Elizabeth. She smiled up at him, her eyes showing a soft familiarity that he hadn’t seen before. He put his hand over hers and smiled back.
It struck James that he thought he might be on his way to falling in love, and he wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about it.
Chapter 11
“What do you think of this dress for the ball, Elizabeth?”
As Felicia asked the question, Marie pulled out a light pink gown with floral embroidery along the neckline. She held it up for the two ladies to see.
“It is beautiful, Felicia, but I am not certain about wearing it to the ball.” For the first time in her entire life, Elizabeth felt a nagging desire to pick exactly the right gown for a ball. Even after looking over several of her dresses with Felicia at her side, nothing seemed good enough.
“You must pick one!” Felicia insisted.
Elizabeth sighed. “I know I must, but perhaps now is not the best time.” She dismissed Marie and sat dejectedly in a chair.
Felicia approached her with sympathy in her eyes. “I know why you are so concerned with what you are wearing. You are wondering what the duke will think!”
“That is ridiculous.” Elizabeth turned her face away from her friend, knowing that Felicia could often read her too well. “I may be escorted by James, but it is a ball just like any other.”
Elizabeth could see Felicia’s searching gaze out of the corner of her eye. “Do you really like him?” Felicia asked softly.
Elizabeth considered her true feelings before answering. Her thoughts about James were rather muddled. She had enjoyed their time together over the past couple of weeks, but she kept avoiding the question of how she really felt about him. “I admire him, certainly,” she began slowly. “I suppose I might ... like him.”
Felicia grinned, letting out a squeal of delight. “Oh, Elizabeth, I am so happy for you! The duke is such an honorable man, and it is very clear that he brings out the best in you.”
Elizabeth started at the words. It had never occurred to her before, but it was true. He calmed her, made her feel at ease. She wondered if it was all because of how he had helped her so effortlessly at the previous ball.
“He is certainly the best match for you,” Felicia finished.
Elizabeth huffed and looked into Felicia’s eyes. “Felicia, you cannot repeat what has been spoken here. I told you that James and I made a deal. We are to be friends only.”
Felicia only continued to smile knowingly.
Her embarrassment rising, Elizabeth stood and walked across the room. “He is still grieving his wife! I cannot compete with her, and I do not think he can ever ha
ve feelings for another. He talks about her much too often.” Elizabeth didn’t think any less of him for it. If anything, it raised his character in her esteem.
“I do not doubt that he still feels the loss of his wife very strongly, but perhaps he will have new feelings for you. Perhaps he never thought he could feel that way again until you.”
Elizabeth shook her head, a little afraid that what Felicia said was true. What if he was in love with her? Was she in love with him? “Let us speak of other things. What are you wearing to the ball?”
After an hour of idle chatting, Felicia declared that she had to leave. Though Elizabeth adored her friend, she was grateful for the silence when she left. She knew that Isabelle was out visiting an acquaintance and would not return until late, so she ordered tea brought to the garden.
Elizabeth sighed, as she sat in the garden. It was another mild day, and, though the sun was covered by a layer of clouds, it was not too cold. Birds chirped and sang in the trees nearby. Elizabeth closed her eyes and drank it all in, thinking that it had been a long time since she had been able to truly enjoy solitude like this.
A shadow fell over her. Elizabeth opened her eyes to possibly the worst sight possible. The Countess of Chester.
Elizabeth sat up. The world immediately felt colder, as if the countess brought a chill with her. The sun seemed to darken even further behind the clouds.
“Elizabeth, what a wonderful spot you have chosen for tea. It is a very pleasant day, is it not?”
A spike of irritation rose in Elizabeth at the familiarity of her address. “It is, indeed, Countess,” she replied coldly.
“Might I join you here until Isabelle returns?”
Elizabeth very seriously considered saying no, just to see what the woman would do. But now, more than ever, she didn’t want to ruin her marriage to James by doing anything rash that would make Isabelle write to her father. So, grudgingly, she nodded. As the countess sat, Elizabeth turned her body slightly away from her.
Only a moment of blissful silence passed before Victoria began to speak again. “I am sure it must be a comfort to know you will be marrying James rather than that odious Lord Huxley.” She paused. “It is a pity, though,” she added softly, as though imparting a secret, “that he lives with the ghost of his late wife.”
A pang of worry went through Elizabeth. She tried to ignore Victoria’s words, but as she continued talking the fear only became more deeply rooted.
“As your friend, Elizabeth, I must tell you that it is no use falling in love with him. James only looks for women who resemble his dear Braith. Why else would you have caught his eye?”
Her anxiety rose to a peak as Elizabeth wondered if she was right. She had seen it in his eyes, even heard him say that she reminded him of his wife. Tears stung her eyes, and she rose quickly to leave.
The countess grabbed her hand, forcing Elizabeth to stop. “Forgive me. I did not mean to upset you. I only meant to say that you must have patience with him. He is still grieving, and I know that he speaks of Braith often.”
Elizabeth frowned and settled back in her chair. “How do you know how often he speaks of her?” Though the countess had overheard some of their conversation, James had always kept personal things about his wife quiet enough so only she could hear.
“Oh,” said the countess, with an airy chuckle, “I have known James for many years. He talks to me about his grievances. I am one of his greatest friends.”
Elizabeth found herself in a state of confusion. James never seemed to have an interest in conversing at length with the countess, but how else would she know so much about him?
“Some even say,” she continued, “that James believes Braith is still alive.”
Elizabeth shook her head. “That is absurd.”
“Is it?” She patted Elizabeth’s hand. “Have you not noticed how he speaks of her as if she is still here? How he talks about the past like it is happening right now?”
The words seemed to ring with more truth as the silence went on. The Countess eyed Elizabeth while she stared down at her rapidly cooling tea. Elizabeth stood and paced in the grass, thinking over what the countess had said. Perhaps everything she knew about James was a lie. Perhaps she had read him entirely wrong. She had thought he had real affection for her, but she had also thought that he showed no regard for the countess.
And what of his late wife? She seemed to be all James ever thought of. Elizabeth had understood and been patient with him, but after both his father and his wife dying, what if James’ mind had been altered? What if he was still stuck in the past with his wife?
Is that all I am, she wondered, someone to fill the shoes of his late wife because I remind James of her just enough?
Elizabeth shuddered, her perfect world had cracked in a moment.
“Do not fret over it. Come and sit. Enjoy the sunshine while it lasts.”
Elizabeth looked up at the sky. She hadn’t even noticed that the sun had come out at last. Now her whole world was dark.
Chapter 12
James arrived at Isabelle’s house in such high spirits that not even the cloudy sky could curb his enthusiasm. He found it ironic that he had complained about going to the last ball, yet at the prospect of this one, he found himself excited. He was looking forward to dancing with Elizabeth again and spending more time with her, especially without the countess in the way.
Elizabeth had refused to tell him what she was wearing to the ball, so it had been left to his imagination to picture what she would look like. He had no doubt that she would be stunning.
Isabelle, Victoria, and Elizabeth were waiting for him when he arrived. They all greeted him warmly, but James found his attention fixed solely on Elizabeth. She wore a yellow gown that, when coupled with the bright color of her hair, seemed to make her glow. She offered James a weak, but sincere, smile.
“You look radiant, Elizabeth,” he said. A faint blush crept into her cheeks.
“James, how wonderful you look!” the countess commented before even a moment of silence could pass.
James nodded but said nothing. He wasn’t in the mood to bear with her tonight, and he was glad that he wouldn’t have to spend time with her at the ball.
Having received no reply from James, the countess turned to Elizabeth. “My poor Elizabeth, you look pale. That is a rather small gown for you. Here is a handkerchief in case you have need of it.” She held out a handkerchief towards Elizabeth, who stared at it for a long moment, frowning, before grabbing it unceremoniously and carefully walking to James.
“I hope you two have a wonderful evening,” said Isabelle. “Public balls can be rather fun. Now I almost wish I were going.” James noted that now she did not need to warn Elizabeth about her behavior with a private word or even a look.
“Come, Isabelle,” the countess said, “we will have an exciting evening ourselves!”
James offered Elizabeth his arm, and she took it as he led her outside. He took her hand to help her into the carriage, causing Elizabeth to stare at him wide-eyed for a moment. He kept hold of her hand for as long as he could before getting into the carriage himself.
In a moment, the carriage began moving forward. Elizabeth smiled up at James, but then she looked down at her hands and fidgeted. James thought he noted some similarities in her behavior to that at the previous ball.
“Are you nervous about the ball?” he asked quietly.
“No,” she said quickly, sitting up a little straighter. “Not at all.”
James frowned, wondering what this could all mean. Then he realized that this was the first time that they had ever been truly alone together. Normally she was quite comfortable around him, but he supposed that for any young lady, it might be a little daunting.
Set on putting her at ease, James smiled and said, “At least this time the countess will not be there to spill wine all over your dress.”
Elizabeth chuckled, and her mood seemed to lighten. As her laughter faded, a more serious look c
ame into her eyes, as she met his gaze. “She likes you, doesn’t she?”
James tried to discern the real meaning behind the words. Was she jealous? Could it be that she felt more for him than just friendship?
“If so, it is unrequited.” For some reason, he felt that he needed to reassure her that his affections didn’t belong to anyone else. Could it be that he was feeling more for her?
Elizabeth smiled at him.
Normally James didn’t mind silence, but he felt Elizabeth’s increasing anxiety, so he continued speaking. “Now,” he said, “I know you said your friend Lady Darwin will be at the ball as well.”
“Yes.” Just the mention of her friend made Elizabeth look more relaxed, though he thought that she still appeared a little pale. “I know you have met her before in passing, but I am excited to introduce you to her.”
