by Leah Conolly
“You have told me it’s not good to be distracted during chess.”
“Indeed,” James sighed, raking his fingers through his hair. “I fear this is not the escape I had hoped for.”
Oscar’s head cocked to the side, and he raised one eyebrow. It was a look that he had adopted from Braith. “What are you escaping from?”
James looked into his son’s eyes. He didn’t want to let him down. He wanted to teach him chess and cheer at his success, but he feared that he didn’t have the capacity for that kind of joy at that moment.
James took his hands off the board and folded them under his chin. “You know that ever since your mother died, I have been alone.”
“You have me! And Grandmother!” Oscar protested.
“Yes, of course I do, but it’s a little different. I’ve been looking for someone like your mother, Oscar. Not someone to replace her, but someone else who can be by my side.”
“Like a princess in the fairy stories?” His eyes grew wide. “Have you found her?”
A smile twitched at his lips. Elizabeth was a princess, indeed. “I thought I had.” He tapped a finger against his chin, trying to think of the best way to describe it. “I have told you before that chess is a thinking game, yes?”
Oscar nodded. “I remember. You said there is no reason to be faster than your opponent.”
“Precisely. A move made too quickly can cost you the whole game. I fear that is what I did with my princess. I made a rash judgment, and it very well may have caused me to lose her forever.”
Oscar picked up one of the knights and brought it up to his eyes. “You lost her like we lost Mother?”
“No, I lost her in a different way.”
Oscar frowned at him, and James knew he didn’t understand. “What I mean to tell you, Oscar, is that this is the reason why I have been distracted. I promise you that I will try to recover my spirits soon, but it is not easy when you have lost someone.”
Oscar turned the knight around in his hand. Suddenly, he jumped out of his seat. “Chess will only make you more solemn, Father. Perhaps the flowers in the garden will cheer you up! They make me smile.”
James stood and stretched his legs. “Do you know, Oscar, I think that might be the very thing I need.” He flashed a smile at his son and patted his head.
The butler entered the room and held something out to James. “A letter for you, my lord.”
James crossed the room in a few long strides and took it quickly from the butler’s hand, thanking him briefly before breaking the seal and unfolding it. He recognized Isabelle’s handwriting immediately.
“Oscar,” he said, looking over the letter, “please go back to Miss Ludwig. We will take a walk around the garden later, I promise.”
“Is it from your princess?”
“I certainly hope that it is good news about her.” He crouched down and squeezed his son’s shoulder. “I will see you in a little while and tell you the news.”
Oscar smiled, looking glad to be included. He rushed off to find his governess, leaving James alone to read the letter.
James,
Elizabeth seems to be recovering her spirits, but I fear for her after some news I have received today. You must come as soon as possible, but I must ask you not to hope. There has been a dreadful turn of events.
Sincerely,
Isabelle Kinsley
James had scarcely finished reading it when he started moving. He ordered his carriage immediately, told his mother he was going out, and was soon on his way to the other side of London. He found himself impatiently tapping his foot, as the carriage didn’t seem to go fast enough. What news could be worse than Elizabeth not speaking to him?
He raced out of the carriage once it arrived at Isabelle’s house. He was admitted inside and led to the sitting room, where Isabelle and the countess seemed to be deep in earnest conversation. They stood as he was announced. Isabelle looked extremely distressed as she came towards him, while the countess looked almost happy.
“James,” Isabelle sighed. “Elizabeth has secluded herself in her room once again. I have just received a letter from her father this morning.”
James waited with bated breath.
“He is giving Elizabeth no alternative. She must marry Lord Huxley immediately.”
The world came crashing down around James. His heart felt as if it was split in two. This was all his fault. “It cannot be,” he choked out. “Surely her father understands it was not her fault—”
“She was the one who called off the engagement, James. Her father told her she had to marry, and she disobeyed him when she made that decision. She could have married you despite what happened.”
James tried to grasp at something, anything that could bring her back to him. “Please, Isabelle, let me speak to her. There must be something I can do.”
The countess cut in. “She is very distraught, James. She would not want to see you in her current state.”
“Besides,” Isabelle continued, “I fear Edward has run out of patience with Elizabeth. He is adamant that she must marry now.” She hesitated. “I do not wish to admit it, but Elizabeth leaves in a few days for Deuney Keep. There is nothing else to be done.”
James felt as if he were being crushed. “You are telling me I will not even be able to see her again?”
“It is for the best, isn’t it?” said the countess. “It would be painful for both of you, knowing that you cannot change what is going to happen.”
James simply stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do. He couldn’t accept that Elizabeth was lost to him forever. Tears welled up in his eyes, but he held them back.
“Then I suppose I must leave you immediately. Tell Elizabeth.” His mouth went dry. There were so many things he wished he would have said to her. Too late. “Tell her that I wish her every happiness.”
Isabelle nodded sadly. “I will, James. I am…,” She sighed as if she couldn’t find the words. “I am so sorry.”
“It is so unfortunate,” agreed the countess. “But I daresay you will recover, James. Do not give up hope.”
Hope for what? James wondered. Hope that I might marry you instead. He couldn’t even entertain the distasteful thought.
“I must go now.” He bowed quickly, not able to bear being in the place where he had shared so many happy memories with Elizabeth. “May you have a pleasant day, ladies.” With that, he left hurriedly. Once inside the carriage, James bent over in grief. He didn’t understand how this had all turned sour so quickly. Just like that, Elizabeth had been taken away from him forever.
He shouldn’t have taken her for granted.
Chapter 27
Elizabeth paced across her room endlessly. Unlike her grief from a few days before, when she felt she had been unable to move, she now felt frantic as if she couldn’t stop being active. Her mind spun. She tried to work out what to do, but this wasn’t a decision she could just make on the spot like how she had accepted the James’s proposal and then broken off their engagement. Even after hours of thinking, she still hadn’t been able to make up her mind.
Once again, Elizabeth picked up the letter she had received from her father, hoping to find a loophole that would allow her to escape from the situation she landed herself in.
My Dear Child,
I am grieved to hear that your engagement to the Duke of Darrington has been dissolved. Lady Kinsley told me the particulars, and while I cannot say that I agree with your decision, I am sorry for the hurt that this idle gossip has caused you. I did not think the Duke was capable of doing such a thing; he seemed very amiable when I met him. If you are as determined as your godmother tells me you are not to enter into an engagement with him again, then I must present you with my final decision. You will marry Lord Huxley. I am afraid that there is no alternative, Elizabeth. Though I had hoped to be able to rescue my estate, matters have only deteriorated since you have left. If nothing is done very soon, we will both fall to ruin. Marrying Huxley is th
e only way to fix matters in time. I could not bear to leave you unprovided for. I have spoken to him again, and he is still willing to have you. Therefore, consider yourself engaged to him. I have written to Lady Kinsley in a separate letter, and she knows you are to return home in a few days to be married. The wedding will be in a fortnight, and I will arrange a meeting with Lord Huxley as soon as you arrive home.
I am very sorry, my dear Elizabeth. I know that Lord Huxley is not your ideal husband, but at least I will know that you are safe and provided for.
Sincerely,
Edward Gladstone, Earl of Waymouth
Tears filled Elizabeth’s eyes every time she reread the letter. She knew that her father really was sorry for her and that Huxley was not his ideal choice either, but she wished he could have done something else to delay. Did he realize just how miserable she would be with Lord Huxley?
The letter crinkled as Elizabeth grasped it tightly, the pages already softened from the many times she had held it tightly in the past few hours. So many options presented themselves in her head that she hardly knew which course of action to ponder.
She kept coming back to one idea. Write to James. Though her pride hadn’t softened enough to allow her to think of it, her father had been very clear. There was no time. Either face ruin or marry Lord Huxley.
She also considered an alternative way out, though she still shied away from the thought. She could run away.
Elizabeth’s heart quickened as she thought of it again. She had read and heard of young ladies running away from unsavory marriages, but she had never considered that she would be doing likewise. Where would she go? What would she do? Would her father come looking for her?
In her heart of hearts, Elizabeth knew she could never do such a thing. As opposed as she was to her father’s decisions, she still loved him. She couldn’t bear the thought of him facing financial ruin and being worried about her safety.
Besides, Elizabeth considered that she had created this mess. If she hadn’t been so opposed to marrying and had listened to her father, she could have saved him from ruin a long time ago. She’d had a chance with Huxley, then with James, and she had refused both.
She could have fixed her relationship with James. She could have forgiven him and told him how she really felt about him. Instead, she had allowed her stubbornness to get the best of her. And now, it was simply too late.
Elizabeth fell into a chair and dropped her head into her hands. She felt the weight of guilt and responsibility fall on her shoulders. She had to pay for her actions. She had to set right the wrong she had done to her father.
Elizabeth rose to her feet and held back her tears as she was now resolute in her purpose. Though she was distraught at the very thought of it, she would marry Lord Huxley.
* * *
“Elizabeth?” A knock sounded softly on her door. “Elizabeth, you have a letter.”
Elizabeth reluctantly opened the door to Lady Kinsley, who handed over a folded paper sealed with wax. Elizabeth took it, noting that she hadn’t seen a smile on her godmother’s face in several days.
“It is from your friend Lady Darwin,” she said with an attempt at a smile.
“Thank you,” Elizabeth said softly, and moved to close the door.
“Elizabeth, wait.” Mrs. Kinsley stepped into the doorway. “I have not seen you eat anything in the past two days. Please come down and sit with me. I’ve had Mrs. Lockhart prepare your favorite soup.”
Having accepted her grim fate, all she could feel was a gnawing emptiness in her gut. “Thank you for your kindness, Lady Kinsley, but I am not hungry.”
Lady Kinsley pressed her lips together, her brow furrowed, but she said nothing. After a moment, she nodded sadly and left.
Elizabeth closed the door and turned to Felicia’s letter. She opened it carefully, her heart already longing for the comfort of her dearest friend.
Dear Elizabeth,
Lady Kinsley has no doubt told you that I have tried to call on you three times. She tells me that you have confined yourself to your room and refuse to emerge for anything or anyone. She has also told me all that has happened. It is not her fault. I pressed her for the knowledge.
Elizabeth, I feel so much sorrow for you right now. I do not know how this can be made right, but I wish I could somehow make it so. I am told you are leaving tomorrow. Please see me before you go. I know that the rumors about you are utterly false, and Hannah, Clarice, and I have been trying to make it known across London. I do not entirely approve of some of their methods, but I have been doing my best to make your true character known.
Elizabeth smiled despite herself, though she wondered what Felicia meant about Hannah and Clarice’s methods. Tears fell from her eyes at the thought of her friends’ loyalty, and she quickly wiped them away so she could finish reading.
Please contact me, my dear friend. And I beg of you to eat. I know how you often starve yourself when you are upset. Do not fall into despair. There is always hope.
Your friend,
Felicia Darwin
Elizabeth sighed as she finished the letter. Felicia was too good a friend for her, never showing anything but loyalty even in the face of everything Elizabeth had done wrong.
Elizabeth immediately went to her desk to reply.
My dear Felicia,
Your letter has been the only comfort I have received these past few days. Lady Kinsley did tell me you came to call, but what she did not tell you is that I do not want your reputation to be marred by your proximity to me. Though I appreciate your efforts, as well as Hannah and Clarice’s (whatever they may be), in trying to dispel the gossip, I fear that it is too deeply rooted to be done away with so quickly. Lady Kinsley has told me that you and the Earl of Presport have become the talk of London, and I do not want anything to stand in the way of your happiness. Please do not worry about me. This whole situation is my fault, and I must rectify it in the only way I can. I will write to you as soon as I am able when I arrive in Deuney Keep. I will say it once more—please put my troubles from your mind. I want every happiness for you and your earl.
Sincerely,
Elizabeth Gladstone
Elizabeth summoned Marie and asked for the letter to be posted as soon as possible. Even her maid seemed to show concern for her as she asked humbly, “Is there anything else I can do for you, Lady Elizabeth?”
Elizabeth considered her destiny. She thought of her father’s letter and of Felicia’s longing to see her. She thought of James. Lady Kinsley had told her he’d called and wished her happiness. It was more than likely that she would never see him again.
“No, Marie,” Elizabeth replied, turning away. “There is nothing anyone can do.”
Chapter 28
“Father, I thought you said you were going to be happy now, but you look even sadder than before.” Oscar looked up at him with a frown. James noticed that ever since he had been downcast, the mood had rubbed off on his son.
James didn’t know what to say. It had been days now, but he still couldn’t come to grips with the fact that Elizabeth was lost to him forever, that he’d never see her again. It was too much for him to bear. Despite his earlier promise to his son to try to be happy despite the circumstances, James had found himself unable to find joy in anything.
“I am very sorry, Oscar.” James looked down at his breakfast plate and found that he wasn’t hungry. “I will try, I promise you.”
“Can I help?”
James glanced up at his mother, who had been watching the scene all the while. She nodded a little in encouragement.
“Perhaps we can take a walk in the garden before I must go?”
“Is today the day you are to visit the Earl of Presport?” his mother asked.
“Yes,” James sighed. “I confess I feel as if I do not want to visit anyone, but he implored me in his letter, and I felt I couldn’t refuse.”
“It will be good to see your friend again.” Erin smiled. “I remember when the two o
f you would play together as children.”
James smiled at the memories. “Daniel could always come up with make-believe games for us to play. We would be lost in them for hours.” He nodded. “I do believe it will be good to see him again.”
After breakfast, James took Oscar out into the garden. He quizzed his son on the names of the flowers and various plants, helping him when he couldn’t remember. Oscar pointed out to James which ones were his favorites, and why. For a little while, James was able to forget about his troubles.
As the sun rose to its peak, James took note of the time. He sent Oscar back to his governess with a promise he would be back for dinner, and he said farewell to his mother before leaving for Daniel’s estate.
