Take care of her, Mike. She really needs you.
Mae and Cindy had disappeared. He was alone in the room with ghosts he couldn’t see. Either that, or he was going crazy. His heart was beating as fast as the loud, reassuring thump of reality: the baby’s heartbeat through the bathroom door.
Cindy rushed out and started unwrapping equipment. “She’s seven centimeters. Her water just broke. Won’t be long.”
Mae and Michelle helped Liz out. Dressed in a long white nightgown, she looked like an angel with damp hair tumbling over her shoulders. She fell against Mike with the next contraction, and he rubbed her back.
“It hurts real bad, doesn’t it?” He kissed the top of her head, trying to breathe away his nausea.
“It’s a good pain.” Liz relaxed against him as the wave passed.
“What the hell does that mean?” Mike laughed to soothe his jangled nerves.
“The baby is coming soon. Each contraction gets me one step closer. Oh my God!” Liz sank to her knees again. All the childbirth class platitudes evaporated. “I don’t think I can take much more. Help me, please. I have to call Jay!”
Michelle and Cindy guided Liz into bed. Mike slid behind her so he could hold and speak directly into her ear.
Mae dialed the phone. “Jay, yer mom’s fine. The baby’s comin.’ Talk fast, she’s a bit busy.”
“I love you and I wish I could be there.” Liz heard Jay’s voice, but an image of Gerry while she was in labor in Boston flashed through her mind.
Gerry spoke to her. It’s almost over, sweetheart. You’re doing great. He’ll be here soon.
Liz opened her eyes and shook the delirium away. She focused on Mike’s blue eyes. “Jay, I have to go now.”
“I’ll be up this weekend, Mom. Call me when he’s out.”
Liz dropped the phone and grunted as the baby descended. Her hips seemed to separate from her pelvis. Burning hot knives stabbed everywhere below her waist. “I don’t like this!”
“I know it feels terrible, Liz, but nothing bad is happening. Follow your instincts.” Michelle stroked her quivering legs.
Liz leaned back against Mike. The familiar prickle of his beard against her cheek was always a pleasant sensation.
My darling, I’m so proud of you. Our son will be born soon. In the same bed where he was conceived. I’m with you, and I love you.
A jolt of electricity rocked through her. Liz shook like she’d been immersed in ice, though it felt like she was on fire. Cindy covered her with a blanket, but Liz kicked it off. She opened her eyes, looked at Edward’s picture, then up at Mike. “He’s here.”
“I know,” Mike said.
“Edward!” Liz called out as the baby’s head emerged. He grimaced as Michelle wiped his face and mouth. Liz reached down, and Michelle guided Liz’s hands under the baby’s shoulders. Liz drew him the rest of the way out, up onto her abdomen. He protested as Michelle and Cindy dried and covered him with a blanket.
The midwife snapped on clamps and handed Mike scissors. “Cut the cord, Daddy.”
His hands shook. “Let Mae do it.”
“I’ll help you. This isn’t something you want to miss.” Cindy’s practiced hands guided Mike’s, and he cut the baby’s last connection to his mother while Mae snapped pictures.
Liz put the baby to her breast, leaving behind a trail of blood and mucous. He latched on and quieted. They all cried.
Michelle and Cindy hadn’t left her side while they all checked to be sure the baby had ten fingers and toes. Mike’s eyes widened when the placenta came out and blood gushed like an open faucet.
Michelle massaged Liz’s belly. "Let's give her some methergine."
"This will help with the bleeding." Cindy gave her a shot in the leg. The resulting cramps hurt, but not as bad as contractions.
“Good, it's slowing down. Keep nursing. That reduces blood loss,” Michelle said.
Kevin burst into the room. “I hear him!”
“Mary, Mother of God, Kevin. Ya have to wait ‘til Liz is covered up!” Mae, either too tired or too nervous, finally broke her silence.
“I’ve been at more births than you if the truth be told, Mae! I’m the only one left outside and can only drink so much tea!”
“It’s all right,” Liz said as Kevin peered under the blankets at the baby. “I don’t care how many more people are in here right now.”
“Yeah, it’s only one more guy,” Mike quipped.
“We’re all done anyway.” Michelle covered Liz with a clean blanket.
Cindy weighed, diapered the baby, and handed him back to Liz.
“Once he’s done nursing we’ll get you both a bath. Then you can sleep. I’d love that cup of tea now,” Michelle said.
“I’ll get it goin’,” Kevin said.
Mike stared at the bloody mess Michelle and Cindy packed into a red plastic bag. The placenta swam in its own bucket of blood, and Cindy stuck a needle into the cord for samples.
“Looks like good chum. Well, you ladies seem to have things under control. I’ll make us all some breakfast.” Mike followed Kevin out.
Liz thought he might be sick.
Mae stared, unblinking, at an image in the camera’s viewfinder.
“Mae?”
She handed Liz the camera.
A spectral shadow of Edward sat next to Liz, on Mike’s right, as he cut the cord. Gerry, in shades of gray and white, smiled on the left. Mae advanced to the next frame. The ghosts had disappeared, replaced by Kevin’s grinning countenance peering at the baby.
Mae turned off the camera and stared at Edward’s picture on the nightstand. Her Irish brogue slipped into a soft British drawl. “The Captain finally came home. This time around, I’m not shy about speaking my mind. I’ve always believed in God and miracles, and one just happened here.” Mae kissed her and the baby and wandered out, lost within her own jumble of realizations, memories, and regrets.
Liz knew only too well how awful that felt. The room suddenly felt too warm, too big, too empty. The chill had vanished with the specters, leaving mother and baby alone. Mike and Mae now knew the truth, as soon would Kevin. And there was evidence even the most skeptical couldn’t refute.
Liz dialed Jay. “He’s here, seven pounds, three ounces, black hair and dark eyes. Yes, we’re both fine.” And he looks just like his father.
“I love you, Mom. Get some rest and I’ll see you next weekend.”
The sun came up and the snow on the branches outside the window glistened under a cover of diamond dust. The baby fell asleep at her breast.
Was it day or night? The clock read five, and the sky was dark as pitch. Mike recalled falling asleep after everyone left and he and Liz had eaten a late lunch. The baby had cried a few times, and Liz had gotten up to feed him.
He dragged himself out of bed and turned on the bathroom light so he wouldn’t wake either of them. Liz slept on her back with the swaddled baby on her chest, enveloped in her arms. Mike considered moving him into the attached cradle contraption but Mary had always told him to never, ever, disturb a baby when it finally went to sleep.
A pleasant remembrance of Mary lying in their bed, nursing Allison, crossed his awareness. His stomach lurched as he recalled carrying Elisabeth’s lifeless body back from the beach, and the feeling of her cold, blue hand as he held it to his chest, willing her heart to start beating again.
The rusty gate creaked open, and he remembered more: Katherine and Bethea Vauxhall prostrate with grief as the gravediggers shoveled dirt over the coffin. Ruddy pining for her mistress, until Jared found her dead in a stall one morning. The rumors he had killed Elisabeth for money, which outlasted the brief inquest that cleared him of wrongdoing. And the guilt that lingered as he lived out not one, but two lives alone after Elisabeth d
rowned and Mary wasted away from cancer.
Edward Barrett had stepped out of heaven, or wherever he was, and drawn him back to that fateful moment on the beach, to give him a second chance at happiness. Liz had been telling the absolute truth.
Mike studied the mother and infant now in his care. No matter whom he promised, and how hard he tried, he couldn’t protect them from the realities of life. Years of tears flowed down his face, the kind of crying that makes your nose snotty as you gasp for air.
It’s all right, Mike. I’m happy for you.
Mike expected to see Liz talking to him, but she hadn’t stirred. Mary often spoke to him, but never while he was awake. Could this all be from sleep deprivation?
A quick glance at his watch confirmed it was five a.m. He showered, hoping it would clear his head. He got dressed. The baby was awake and quiet in his exhausted mother’s embrace. Mike picked him up and kissed him on the top of the head so his beard wouldn’t scratch the delicate newborn skin.
“Let’s see if I remember how to do this,” Mike whispered, unsnapping the crotch of the sleeper and peeling off the tape on the diapers. He figured out how to position the new one and secured it. Getting the snaps lined up correctly and refastened took a little bit of time, but he succeeded, wrapped the baby in a blanket, and took him downstairs.
Kevin and Mae must have been over. The fire burned hot, and the kitchen was toasty warm. A tin of fragrant blueberry muffins sat on the table. Mike turned on the kettle, cradled the baby in his arms, and sank into a chair. The baby stared up at him, eyes as black as coal, focused on the only father he'd ever know.
“So listen, I’m gonna be your dad. Mom’s asleep right now, but if you’re hungry, we’ll go get her. When you’re bigger, I’m gonna take you fishing, and me and your big brother are gonna teach you to play baseball. We’ll all go see the Red Sox steal the Series from the Yankees again one day.” Mike swore the baby smiled at him.
“There you are.” Liz shuffled into the kitchen in her blue bathrobe.
“How do you feel?” Mike could barely choke back the emotion.
“Like my bum fell apart, but very happy. What are you guys doing?”
“We’re having a father and son moment.”
“Mike. I love you. Thank you for doing this for us.” She put her hands on his shoulders and kissed him on the cheek.
“Elisabeth, I remember.”
She bent down, looked into his eyes, and hugged him. “And do you hate me for what I did, Jared?”
“No, I love you. And this is the way it was supposed to be. Captain Barrett’s orders.”
They both started to cry but the baby, comfortable in Mike’s arms, fell back to sleep.
The teakettle whistled.
Chapter 41
May 2010
Mike walked around the house and bounced the baby over a shoulder to distract him. “She’ll be back soon.”
He rummaged through the refrigerator for the bottle of breast milk Liz left, just in case. But the baby didn’t like bottles, only his Mama. And she was stuck in traffic on Route 6, on the way home from her checkup. Mike ran it under warm water as the baby’s crying got louder and louder.
“All right, all right. It’s almost ready. But you have to drink it, man. I know I’m a poor substitute, but it’s all you’ve got right now.”
He couldn’t stand the screaming, gave up on the warming since it never made a difference, and sat down on the couch. The baby took two sucks, spit out the nipple, drooled milk all over Mike’s shirt, and cried even harder.
A car door thudded and Liz’s footsteps scampered into the house. The baby stopped squalling and gazed at her like a goddess just descended from the heavens. His cry turned to a pitiful whimper.
“What’s wrong? Daddy was giving you a bottle?” Liz crooned in that silly, high-pitched mommy voice.
The baby’s chin quivered. He gasped while Liz finished unbuttoning her blouse, unhooked her bra, and he got what he really wanted. Mike tucked a pillow behind her back and got her favorite footstool.
She sighed. “Thanks. Was he crying long? Those visits always take longer than expected.”
“No, he cranked up right before you got home. But we have to do something about this. He has to learn to drink from a bottle. I mean, wouldn’t you like to take a nice trip, just me and you, for a honeymoon? Mae will take good care of him.” That was the best way he could come up with to broach the subject.
“I didn’t have any trouble with Jay taking a bottle once he got older. He’s too little and too dependent on nursing to be left now. In a few months, Mike.” Liz sat the baby up on her lap.
He let out a big burp about the same time as his gaze fell on Mike. A huge toothless grin spread over his face.
Mike guffawed. The baby always liked that and showed his delight by wiggling his head and stubby arms and legs in a total body giggle.
“Now you laugh, cause she’s home. And you burp as loud as me. I’ll have to fight you for her, slugger. Everything went okay with Michelle?”
Liz settled the baby onto the other breast. “All back to normal. Except for a few new wrinkles and a bigger bulge where my abs used to be.”
“So, that means . . .?”
“Yeah, it’s okay.” Liz smiled, but she looked down.
She was building that wall up again. His house was on the market, but maybe it was a good thing there hadn’t been much interest.
The phone rang, and Mae ran to the desk in the hall. “The Barrett Inn, how can I help ya?”
Liz stared at the baby who ran his chubby hand over her breast. She was thinking about Edward. Even he had to admit the baby resembled him.
“I’m going to put him down for a nap,” Liz said.
“Do you want some lunch?” Mike asked.
“Yeah. And I’m thirsty, too.”
“I’ll bring something up.”
With Mae around, the bedroom was the only place they could have a private conversation. He went into the kitchen and made a grilled cheese sandwich on whole wheat, her current favorite. With a glass of cold skim milk. Mae was off the phone when he went by the antique lady’s desk in the foyer they used for Inn business.
“I’m bringing lunch up to Liz. She just got back and is feeding the baby.”
The phone rang before Mae had a chance to respond, and she waved in acknowledgement. “The Barrett Inn, how can I help ya?”
He was surprised to see Liz sitting on the bed waiting for him. She almost looked interested. But the picture of Edward on her nightstand, and of Gerry on her dresser, ruined his amorous mood. The baby sleeping in the cradle was nowhere near as disturbing as the faces of the two men who had come before him.
Liz noticed him staring. “They’re not here, Mike.”
“I can’t get rid of the memory of them in this room when you had the baby. Why won’t they leave you alone?” He really wanted to ask why they couldn’t let him have her all to himself but knew that would sound terrible.
He sat down next to her on the bed, and she looked up into his face with those eyes that turned him into a blob of jelly every time. “I told you this was going to happen, Mike.”
“It’s not the baby. He adores you, and that’s the way it should be. And I meant what I said about being a father to him. He seems to like me; I mean he smiles all the time. It’s this house. If we lived in mine, and just ran this as an inn, maybe that would be better.”
Liz looked like she’d been stabbed. “Edward wanted me to stay here, Mike.”
“Goddamn Edward! He left you behind. Twice. And the first time you died looking for him! You don’t owe him anything.”
“I, I can’t think about leaving this house.”
“He’s dead, Liz.” Mike tried to sound apologetic but the anger leake
d through.
Liz stood and turned the frames face down. “They don’t belong in our bedroom. And I’m setting up the nursery in that walk-in closet. Then we’ll be all alone. I love you, Mike.” Liz ran her fingertips down his chest and unbuttoned his shirt.
He still wasn’t in the mood. “What about getting married? I think if I prove I’m committed to you, Jay would stop the threats.”
She sat back and crossed her legs, tailor style. “There’s this new financial mess with Jeffers withholding the partnership income until . . .”
“I’ll sign a damn prenuptial agreement! I don’t want your money, or your house, or your luxury car. I want you.” Mike wanted to pound the wall with his fists.
Liz took off his shirt and kissed his chest and neck. “Let’s not talk about that now, okay?” She unbuckled his belt and leaned over until he flopped backward on the bed.
She slid off his pants. He lay there watching her undo her blouse and pink bra and slip out of a lacy bikini. Snagged even before she crawled on top, he reached into his nightstand for pack of condoms.
She smiled. “You were thinking ahead.”
“It’s been a long two months, Liz. I would love to have another baby. Ours. Someday, but not now.”
Liz laughed. “And what are the chances of that happening at my age?”
“You’ve defied the odds before, big time.”
“So you have it all planned out?”
“I want you all to myself, Liz. It’s my turn!” He was overcome with the need to be on top of her for a change.
“Yeah, it is.” She rolled on a condom.
Mike pulled Liz down and turned to straddle her. She moaned as he slid inside.
“Are you okay?” He held back, as usual.
“Yes.” She wrapped her legs around him and drew him in deeper, holding his bottom with her hands so he couldn’t move away.
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