by A. J. Downey
“Somebody call an ambulance!?” I called out and was met with a random ‘yeah’ out of the crowd. I didn’t see where it’d come from, because my eyes were on Charity who was all about her patient right now. Fuck that’s hot… I thought to myself and instantly, the guilt slammed into my chest at the same time my respect for her rose more than a few notches. Fuck my misplaced attraction for her. I struggled with it. Corrine doesn’t deserve it. I chastised myself, but for the first time, maybe ever, a tiny voice flitted out from the back of my mind and whispered, Corrine is gone, maybe you’ve punished yourself enough?
Sirens, medics, she and I helped carry the kid across the sand on a backboard, his mother thanking us over and over again profusely.
“Good thing you were here, Shepard.”
I shook my head at O’Reilly, one of the medics I’d used to work with and told him, “It was mostly her,” inclining my head towards Charity who was consoling the mother.
“Man, wish you’d never given it up. Any thoughts on coming back?” he asked me, eyeing Charity critically, as if taking her measure.
“Nope.”
“Then why you keep up with all the certs? Saw your name on the re-cert course at the community college last round. Perfect score and putting us all to shame, per usual.”
“Reasons, O’Reilly. I got my reasons.”
O’Reilly shook his head and sighed, “So who is she? Where she come from? You know?” he asked.
“Up north, just graduated with a nursing degree. She’s my club captain’s girl’s sister.”
“A nurse? Well fuck, there goes that idea.”
“What idea?” I tore my gaze away from Charity’s which was locked on mine and looked up at O’Reilly who was a tall bastard at six foot eight. He rubbed a hand over his close buzz cut and shook his head.
“We lost Phillips to a heart attack last month,” he said and I bowed and shook my head. Phillips had been one of the older medics to show me the ropes when I’d first gotten down to Ft. Royal with Corrine.
“Man, I hadn’t heard.”
“You were out of town.” O’Reilly kept talking, “Anyways, Phillips went, and Marty retired. A couple of the young bucks quit on us; couldn’t handle it. We’re hurting, we’re hurting bad for personnel. Will you at least think about it?”
“You know what this job cost me…”
O’Reilly sighed, “I know what you think it cost you, but Shep,” he put his hand on my shoulder, “You know deep down there was nothing you could’a –“ I shook the hand off and started walking away to O’Reilly’s sharp exhalation of breath and muttered curse.
I didn’t feel like it. I really fucking didn’t. It was selfish as fuck, but I’d been having a good day as far as days went. I didn’t want to think about it too much, which was hard as is, with the date coming up. Charity eyed me curiously and helped the woman into the back of the ambulance with her son. O’Reilly climbed in after her while his partner, a guy I didn’t know, got in to drive.
Charity waved and rapped twice on the back of the cab and the bus pulled away from the curb, lights going up and siren wailing, piercing through my receding hangover like a marlin spike to the temple.
I needed a fucking drink, so I took the opportunity to disappear into the crowd before Charity turned back, making long strides down the boulevard heading for The Plank, and the familiar taste of oblivion that was Crown Royal before the ugly memories splattered themselves up on the inside of my skull in horrifying, living color.
Chapter 7
Charity
I saved a life. I stood at the curb, watching the ambulance drive away and felt lighter than air, but at the same time, full of an effervescing energy. Wow. I’d saved a life, what’s more, I’d saved a life with Nothing. Who knew we had medical training in common? I turned to him and said, “I didn’t know you were a med-“ but the words died on my lips. He was gone, and I couldn’t see through the throng of people in which direction he’d travelled.
“Son of a bitch,” I whispered.
“Hey!” I turned and an attractive man stood on the curb, hands buried in his cargo shorts, button down shirt open at the collar, sleeves turned up casually to the elbow.
“Yes?”
“Not going to lie, that was pretty spectacular. Let me buy you a drink?”
I smiled, “And you are?”
He grinned, an award winning smile, and held out his hand, “Greg Hanson, what’s your name?”
“Charity,” I took his hand and shook, his grip light, but firm.
“Nice to meet you, Charity. Can I interest you in that victory drink?”
I smiled, “Some other time, maybe? I’ve got to get going. There’s a hurricane coming don’t you know?”
“Ah, yeah, I’m in town on business. Bad timing yeah?”
“At least you can leave,” I said laughing, “I just moved here.”
“Is that right?” he smiled and flashed perfect white teeth. He was attractive, as far as men go, probably no older than his late twenties, but he didn’t have that general dark mystique that I was finding so attractive in Nothing.
“Yeah, moved here to be with my sisters.”
“You know, I really do hope you’ll take me up on that offer of a drink. If I ever see you again.”
“It’s a small town, so yeah, likely as not, we’ll run into each other again.”
He grinned broader and winked at me, “I’ll be sure to keep an eye out, but then again, a woman as beautiful as you, you do stand out in a crowd.”
I laughed outright and started up the sidewalk, looking back over my shoulder I proclaimed, “Flattery will get you everywhere!”
“I’ll keep that in mind!”
I went down the boulevard, back in the direction of Cutter’s house where everyone was supposed to meet anyways at the end of the day for some grilling and drinks. It was a fifty-fifty shot that Nothing had already gone that direction.
I wondered about him as I walked, he’d looked awful drawn and when he’d moved his glasses, he had been clearly hungover. After spending four years in college, it was hard not to recognize a night, or several, of binge drinking. I was surprised to find I was worried about him. It was probably just the natural caregiver in me… I was well aware that I couldn’t save the world but it didn’t stop me from trying.
My thoughts drifted back to the boy and to the medic climbing into the back of the ambulance, the taller one, he’d said to me, “If you could get Shep to come back, you’d be doing this area a bigger service than you could imagine…” It made me wonder about the man called Nothing. Why had he stopped in the first place? Clearly he had the training and was a phenomenal medic… why just stop?
“Hey! Here comes Trouble.” I looked up and smiled, surprised at how far I’d come in so little time.
“What’re you doing out here?” I asked and Cutter shrugged, opening up the mailbox.
“Can’t a man check his mail?” he asked. “You look thoughtful, wanna tell me what’s up?”
“Yeah, I think I just saved a life. Well, Nothing and I did.”
“No shit? What happened?”
I told him as we ambled up the driveway at a sedate pace and he listened, thoughtfully. Finally, he nodded.
“Well I’ll be damned, good on you, Darlin’!”
“Thanks,” I said and smiled, “I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”
“Yeah, what’s that?”
I stopped and looked up at him, “Why do you call Faith ‘Firefly?’”
He smiled, that easy, lazy grin of his that I could totally see why Hope got all twitterpated over it. “Because,” he said, “Your sister has a fire inside that’s been dulled by some really shitty circumstances, but when she doesn’t let all that get in the way, and she remembers to do it, boy can she ever let that light of hers shine!”
I smiled broadly and looped my arm through his, giving his arm a hug, “I am so glad someone sees it.”
“Oh, I ain’t the only one. Marl
in sees it clear as day.”
“I’m glad she has him.”
Cutter nodded, but said nothing. I looked up at him, “So why you call me ‘Trouble’ then?” I asked.
“Oh because you are. You’re trouble that’s just waiting to happen.”
I laughed and he let us into the front door of the house, Hope was sitting on the couch, Faith on the floor in front of her while my eldest sister brushed my older sister’s hair.
“You need a trim,” I observed.
“That mean the salon is open?” Hope asked.
“I’ll run up and get my scissors,” I said and breathed out a sigh of contentment. It’d been a good day. A jumpstart to my heart, but so far, a good day… even with Nothing’s peculiar behavior. The mystery had deepened, and my curiosity was definitely piqued. I was wrestling with myself a bit on if I wanted to learn more or if I should just take the brush offs he’d been giving me to heart.
I went and got my scissors and trimmed both Faith and Hope’s hair, all the while listening to Faith prattle on about some man named Bobby and his orange grove. I smiled, and I was happy for my sisters, both of them, but I couldn’t help but have my thoughts pulled regularly back to a pair of solemn gray eyes.
Damnit, I think Dominic Shepard AKA Nothing had gotten under my skin. There was something different about that. I’d never had anyone make me so curious after a couple of nonchalant, scratch that, a couple of nonchalant, one creepy, and one intense meeting. I think I’d decided then and there, that I would make an effort to get to know him which made me make a wry smile… I could be persistent if need be, and I think I’d figured out where my new nickname was going to come into play. Cutter was an insightful bugger.
Trouble indeed.
Chapter 8
Nothing
Shit. Charity dropped onto the barstool beside mine and dropped her keys on the scarred wood surface of The Plank’s bar. She raised an eyebrow at me.
“What?” I asked.
“It’s raining again, figured I could offer you a ride home, seeing as your bike is in the shop and Marlin has your car.”
“I’m good,” I said and downed the shot of Crown in front of me. Lightning took the shot glass off the bar and sighed.
“You’re done, bro. I ain’t going to watch you do this to yourself all over again.”
Fuck.
“Let me take you home?” she asked gently. I shook my head and ran a hand over my hair.
“I’m not ready to go home.”
“Okay, fine. Then I’ll sit right here until you are.”
“Fuck, really? Go find someone else to take care of,” she flinched at my tone but I didn’t apologize or back down. I was bad news; she didn’t need any of what I had to offer. She was a nice girl… Corrine had been a nice girl, too. Corrine and I had made the sweetest little girl together… Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
“It’s the time of year, Honey. It’s not you,” Hossler said at my elbow.
“Fuck, Hoss, stay out of it!”
“You’re drunk and acting like an asshole; Charity’s a guest. Take your sorry ass home, Nothing. People are sick of your fucking pity party for one.”
I stood up abruptly and staggered, definitely unsteady on my feet. Charity reached out and put a hand on my arm but I jerked away from her.
“Just fucking stay out of it, all of you!” I barked and headed for the door.
I saw Radar get up out of the corner of my eye and I didn’t want to deal with him, or anyone, so before he could get to me I went out the door and into the pouring rain outside. He caught up to me, grabbed my elbow and I was in the mood to force the issue. I turned and raised my fist but was cold cocked by Charity’s glacial stare before I could swing.
“The fuck?” I asked.
“I could ask you the same thing, except I’m done asking. Get your ass in the Jeep.”
I blinked and opened my mouth to reject the notion but before I could, she was speaking again, tone full of consternation.
“You can either, get your ass in the Jeep and let me drive you home, or I can tell your leader how you almost cold cocked his woman’s sister in the face.” She arched a light brow, her face set in stone and I shut my gob and looked this way and that, striking out in the direction of her white Jeep Wrangler.
“Thank you,” she said, chirping the alarm, the locks unbolting themselves. I got in on the passenger side and she climbed in to drive. She started the engine and turned to me calmly, water dripping off the end of her nose.
“Where did you go?” she asked softly.
“Nowhere,” I said looking hard out the window.
“Well you went somewhere. I turned around after loading Thomas into the ambulance and you were just gone. One minute you were talking to the tall paramedic, the next you just vanished. What happened?”
“Nothing,” I lied.
“Nothing is your name, not what happened back there. I didn’t know you had medical training, why didn’t you say something? You know I just graduated with a nursing degree.”
“I’m not a medic, not anymore… I just paint houses for a living.”
“What, why?” she asked and I could hear that I’d startled her. I couldn’t resist, I refocused my gaze from outside the dark window glass to her reflection in it. Her mouth hung open, her blue eyes livid with surprise.
“Doesn’t fucking matter, I’m not that guy anymore.”
She shut her mouth, “I call bullshit,” she said and I turned to look at her, “If you weren’t that man anymore you wouldn’t have seen them, you wouldn’t have gone running down the beach to help them.”
She had me there, and it irritated me, I didn’t want to answer anymore of her questions, didn’t need her peeling back any more layers. “Just take me home,” I grated and stared her down for a long time. The silence growing long and uncomfortable between us.
“Fine, where am I going?” she asked.
“Hit the boulevard, go right on Everglade Road.”
She put the Jeep in gear, did her checks, and pulled into a smooth u-turn, following my directions.
“I don’t get you,” she said after a moment.
“What’s not to get?” I muttered.
“You, your behavior, help me out here. You do nice things for me, but any time I try to talk to you, you get yourself drunk as fuck and are an ass about it. What gives?”
“It’s for your own good.”
“Excuse me?”
“Don’t pretend like you didn’t hear me – ow!” She’d punched me in the arm and pulled the Jeep to a stop right there in the middle of the road.
“This isn’t fucking kindergarten, you ass! You don’t get to pull my hair and be a bully as a way to tell me you like me. All you’re doing is pissing me off.”
I shook my head and slicked my hair back off my face with one hand, “That’s not it,” I said shaking my head, laughing at myself in self-deprecation. I couldn’t argue her point, it was kind of what it looked like.
“Then what is? What gives, Nothing? What are you running from?”
She put the Jeep back in motion, headlights in her rearview cut a swath of light across her eyes and I was mesmerized until they were cast in shadow again.
“Nothing… nothing gives, I’m not running from anything.”
“If God went around hugging liars, he’d break every bone in your body,” she uttered disgustedly.
She made the turn onto Everglade and I blew out a breath, “Take the next right. It’s the third house on the left.”
She pulled into the driveway of my sad, lonely, boarded up house and killed the engine.
“Can we just start over?” she asked.
I eyed her warily, “Like how?”
“Like, ‘Hi my name is Charity, you know my sister, Hope.’” She stuck out her hand and waited, while I eyed it like it was going to snap out and bite me, like one of Hossler’s snakes.
“Nothing,” I said, reluctantly, I took her hand in mine and shoo
k it. Her skin was so soft and smooth against mine. Some of the hardness I’d tried to put up around my soul melted a little bit, softening up.
“Pleasure to meet you, Nothing,” she said and I snorted. Her face crumbled into a frown and I reached out without thinking, moving a lank piece of her hair out of her eyes, tucking it behind her ear.
Silence stretched between us, until finally, she said softly, “I don’t understand you.”
“That makes two of us,” I murmured. More silence, filled only by the sound of the driving rain pattering against the hard top on her Jeep. Someone must have put it on for her. I would have done it… but I didn’t know why. Why did I want to do things for this girl? Why did she do the things she did to me? Why couldn’t I be a better husband when I was around her? Because you’re tired of being a miserable fuck and she’s a breath of fresh air, that damn internal voice spat out of the dark corners of my mind. It was true, only problem was I didn’t deserve to be happy, and she didn’t deserve me making her miserable. Fuck. Why did this have to be so complicated?
“Good night, Charity,” I said and she drew a breath to protest but it was too late. I’d opened the door and was out into the wet. I let myself through my front door and leaned against it. It was probably a full two minutes before I heard her Jeep start back up and back down the drive. It was the longest two minutes of my life.
Damn, but I fucked that one up good. It was probably for the best for her though. I turned and looked at the photographs on the walls of my smiling wife and our beautiful little girl.
No probably about it, it was for the best.
Chapter 9
Charity
“Okay, spill. What’s Nothing’s deal?” I stood just behind the couch, dripping on the hardwood floor of Cutter’s entryway. Hope leaned her head way back over Cutter’s thigh so she could see me, while Cutter just nonchalantly turned his head my direction. They were cute together, her lying out on the couch, head in his lap, but right now; there was no way I was going to admit it out loud.
