by Cydney Rax
“Men, you have a responsibility, too. Think about it. Every time a man lies to his woman he binds her up. It’s like taking a thick rope and wrapping it around her ankles. This is what you’re doing to your wife, your girlfriend, every single time you tell her a lie. And what happens to that woman? She is paralyzed, she can’t move, she’s not free, she is trapped. And men, the only way to reverse what you’ve done to her—what you keep doing to her each time you lie—is to tell the truth. When you tell the truth, you release one thread of rope that’s wrapped around her ankles, that’s wrapped around her mind and her heart. Never underestimate a woman’s intuition. God gave us that, it is a gift, and we didn’t ask for it, we don’t have to pay for it. It’s free to each and every woman so she can decipher a man’s BS. It means that God is trying to help us wade through the BS if we want to wade through it. But some of ya’ll don’t want to hear the truth. You prefer to hear the lies, and that’s on you. But you’re living a lie, and loving a liar is no way to live. Living a lie is no way to live, either. So brothers, set your wives free and tell the truth. And if telling the truth means you’re going to lose too much or that you’ll be in the doghouse with the wifey then stop doing what you’re doing. Then you don’t have to lie. If you’re not really out with the boys but with your little girlfriend, you need to dump the girlfriend, so that when you’re really out with the boys, you don’t have to call up Ralph and ask him to cover for you. Because a cover is really a see-through cover when it comes to God. The eyes of the Lord are in every place beholding the evil and the good. Can I get an amen tonight?”
Not long afterward, the service comes to a close. I stand to my feet and hug Marlene with all my might. I gently tell her, “Sister, you are forgiven.” She gives me a look of gratitude and whispers, “Sometimes you seem like the older sister.” I nod; I understand.
When we begin to leave our pew and walk out of the sanctuary, Marlene taps my shoulder and points. My mama and Loretta are seated a few rows over. They’re crying and holding hands and are so engaged in talking that they don’t notice us slowly pass by. Marlene stops walking and I do, too. I overhear Loretta tell my mama, “I feel compelled to counsel women because of the guilt I feel for the scandalous things I’ve done, from one woman to another. This is my way of covering my mistakes, by being honest with women and hopefully steering them in a better direction than the road I chose to take. Now I realize I have to come at them with more gentle honesty. I want something better. I want to be the best woman by having more respectful relationships with both men and women. With my daughter and my stepdaughter. And if it means I have to leave Blinky to achieve something better, then so be it.”
I swallow a thick, sore knot lodged in the middle of my throat. And I can’t help myself.
“Mama,” I squeak. The two ladies are so busy embracing that Marlene has to loudly clear her throat a couple of times. Mama turns around, locks eyes with me, yelps, and wildly gestures at me. I go sit next to her on the pew. Using the tips of my fingers, I dab at the wet streaks that are on her face.
“I love you, Mama. I’m sorry.”
Mama nods, shakes her head, too overwhelmed to get out the words she’s trying to say. But I understand. It feels so good to understand.
After we daughters share long and tight hugs with our mamas, we depart from the sanctuary and eventually reach the parking lot. The brilliance of the sunny sky lifts my spirits so high I feel like I want to take flight. I am so amazed, so thrilled that deep inside, a powerful sense of happiness has overtaken my heart and completely filled it with peace. And to know my contentment has absolutely nothing to do with a man is one of the most gratifying and remarkable discoveries I’ve ever experienced. I feel complete without Mr. Right Now by my side. Right now, I am acceptable and fulfilled just as I am. I want to sing, I want to shout, I want to share this happiness with the world.
“So,” Marlene asks me. “Did you enjoy the service?”
“It was one of the best experiences of my life. It has helped me discover who I am as a person, as a woman.”
“That means a lot coming from you.”
“I’m glad you invited me. I want more.”
“Does that mean you may want to come back and check out the Singles Ministry?”
“I think that might be a strong possibility.”
She beams at me, and I smile back. “Marlene, may I ask you a question?” We slowly start walking toward her car, which is parked way on the other side of the huge lot.
“Ask away.”
“Um, do you regret getting that tat?”
She stops walking and playfully rolls her eyes. “Girl, stop tripping,” she pouts. “Even though I never told you before, that M and J tattoo stands for Marlene and Jesus.”
“Marlene and Jesus?” I give her a full-blown grin. “That’s freaking brilliant. Girl, you are one of the smartest women I know. I mean that.” We continue walking and chitchatting.
I take my sister’s hand and raise it toward the sky.
Acknowledgments
I had so much fun writing this novel and have loads of people to thank:
GOD—Every day I still feel like I am in the midst of a wonderful dream. I am so thankful to be living the biggest dream I’ve ever had in my life.
FAMILY—Thanks to my family who is very supportive and excited about my writing career. Thanks to my Aunt Janice for giving me information about her occupation.
PUBLISHER—I adore Three Rivers Press. You do your job so very well. Special thanks to Emily Lavelle, PR extraordinaire.
EDITOR—Heather Proulx. I trust your very capable editing skills. Thanks a trillion for your support and encouragement.
AGENT—The one and only Claudia Menza. Can you believe this is my fourth release? Thanks for giving me my start in the industry.
FRIENDS—You know who you are. Thanks for the conversations and the laughs.
MEDIA/REVIEWERS—USA Today (thanks for the wonderful feature), Essence (Henry Patrik Bass, thanks), Black Expressions (as always), all the book clubs (K.C. Girlfriends Book Club and Sistah Friend Book Club) and websites that consistently feature my novels, you are invaluable. Thanks to the Houston Public Library and Texas Library Association.
Also thanks to Ann Brown of RAWSISTAZ for a great review of MBFAMM.
AUTHOR PALS—Cheryl Robinson, Marissa Monteilh (a true gem), Margaret Johnson-Hodge, Lexi Davis, Electa Rome Parks, S. B. Redd, Aberjhani, Kole Black, Stacy Deanne, T. Styles, Desiree Day, Nancey Flowers, Joy King, Philana Marie Boles, Vanessa Davis Griggs, Marsha Jenkins Sanders, and too many others to name. Thanks for being in my corner.
UNIVERSITY OF HOUSTON—Thanks for your interest and support, for buying my book, or at least telling me you’re gonna buy the book (wink). I appreciate your putting up with me! Special thanks to Mr. Irvin, Mary, and the BN bookstore.
MYSPACE BUDDIES—Haha, there are a lot of wonderful and supportive fans out there. You make me laugh, you make me smile, you make me feel so good inside.
DUANE—Babe, thanks for teaching me so many things I never knew and sharing so many special moments with me. I appreciate your earnest support of my career. And thanks for being my road dawg and having the courage to accompany me on this journey.
THE FANS—Where would I be without the readers who offer so much support, encouragement, positivity and insight? I am so grateful to you for helping me to have a writing career. Keep buying those books! Don’t forget to e-mail me at [email protected]. Merci! Gracias! Danke! Asante! Cám on ! Gratia! Thanks!
About the Author
Cydney Rax is the author of My Daughter’s Boyfriend, My Husband’s Girlfriend, and My Best Friend and My Man. Cydney is a native Detroiter and a graduate of both Cass Technical High School and Eastern Michigan University. In her spare time she loves playing Nintendo Wii, checking out the latest movies (comedies, thrillers, dramas, and action), watching Family Guy, and trying to keep her life in perspective. A single mother of one, she currently resides i
n Houston.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2009 by Cydney Rax
All rights reserved.
Published in the United States by Three Rivers Press, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.
www.crownpublishing.com
Three Rivers Press and the Tugboat design are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data available upon request.
eISBN: 978-0-307-45996-1
v3.0
Table of Contents
Cover
Other Books By This Author
Title Page
Dedication
Chapter 1 - Where I’m Going
Chapter 2 - The Jeffrey Williams Way
Chapter 3 - You Gotta Protect Yourself
Chapter 4 - Be a Real Woman
Chapter 5 - The Best Woman Will Always Win
Chapter 6 - Unfinished Business
Chapter 7 - Something Better Exists for You
Chapter 8 - What Kind of Woman Am I?
Chapter 9 - Have You Thought About Online Dating?
Chapter 10 - I’m Definitely Not Rachel
Chapter 11 - Make Myself Happy
Chapter 12 - Not Too Proud to Cry for Help
Chapter 13 - Bastard of the Year
Chapter 14 - There’s Something You Need to Know About Jeff
Chapter 15 - Sampling the Same Goods
Chapter 16 - Chain of Fools
Chapter 17 - Just Say No
Chapter 18 - You’ve Made Me So Happy
Chapter 19 - This Situation Needs Handling
Chapter 20 - Daughter, You Are Forgiven
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Copyright
