by Noir, Stella
“Go and take another shower. You’re filthy.”
He zipped his pants up and walked out of the room without saying another word to me.
After lying there stunned and confused for a few minutes, I pushed myself up and slowly made my way to the bathroom and then into the shower. As I stood there under the stream of hot water, I thought about everything that had happened, just now, and in the happy months I had had with Jake, and I was still amazed that I’d never seen any of this kind of behavior before. Or maybe I just hadn’t wanted to see it.
When I thought about it, the two times we’d had actual intercourse when we were together Jake was much more forceful, a lot like he had been earlier, but he had never been cruel. It did seem to me that the personality Jake was embodying, this doctor person, was similar in some ways to the side of him that came out when we’d made love back then. Not that I would actually call it making love, though. It was more like raw, crazed, animalistic fucking, with hair pulling and spanking and physical force - which I have to admit I enjoyed, but also found a bit confusing. It was just startling to have him switch mid-stream from the smoldering and lust-filled glances that filled his eyes, to that manic, sadistic appearance that swept over him and made him look like he wanted to strangle me. It was as if fucking turned him into a completely different person.
Seeing him now made me realize that there were warning signs in the beginning, and maybe the reason I ran away was because there was a part of my brain that was actually paying attention to them. I guess I had just never consciously thought about the fact that he might be a little crazy. I mean, why would I? I just figured there were times when his dominant nature was more subtle and was conveyed more through his eyes and then there were times when he liked to be in control through force and with pain.
I hated Jake for treating me this way, for making me his captive and forcing himself on me, but I had to admit I had never come so hard in my life. It was hard not to feel ashamed of my reaction to him and the gentle feelings I had had for him after what he had just done.
I got out of the shower and dried off and when I returned to my bed I found a domed tray next to it. I didn’t even lift the lid to see what was underneath it, though. I wasn’t interested in being drugged by a nasty sandwich and a bowl of watery soup today. I would rather starve than eat that crap ever again.
I quickly realized that it was a completely different experience being in this drab, dimly lit hospital room without the added benefit of being drugged out of my mind for hours on end. It was actually pretty boring in here and after sitting on the bed for a while, I decided to look around the room a bit. I thought if anything a remote control for the TV would be nice so that I could while away the hours with a good melodramatic story when I wasn’t being harassed and tortured by my ex-boyfriend.
Maybe I could catch up on my soap operas, I thought, then laughed at the how my life actually resembled a soap opera now.
As I opened the few drawers I could find around the room that weren’t locked, I stumbled across a strange picture in a pile of papers that looked like some sort of official hospital paperwork. It was a picture of a little boy and someone else, but it had been torn in half so that the other person in the picture was removed. It seemed like it might have been another small child standing next to the boy in the picture, but all that was visible were the fingers from the disembodied hand that he was holding.
The door opened and I threw the pile of papers back into the drawer. Jake walked in, smiling his cool, calm smile, strode across the room to the tray of food and lifted the lid. Underneath sat a plate of meats, cheeses and fruit, along with a loaf of french bread and some sparkling water and wine. I took a step closer to the table that the tray sat on, examining all of the different delicious looking items of food, then looked back up at Jake.
“I imagine this looks a bit more appetizing than you had anticipated,”
I looked up at him but didn’t say anything. He had to have known that I was aware that he and his staff had been drugging me, but I didn’t want to let on that I knew it was in the food.
“I hope you don’t plan on leaving your dinner untouched. I can assure you there’s nothing to worry about,” he said as he looked at my scantily clad body and smiled. “I know the food here hasn’t been satisfactory up until now, but I put all of this together with you in mind. I hope you enjoy it.”
He walked out of the room without another word and after I watched him leave I looked back at the tray of food. It did look incredible, and he was right, I loved this sort of food more than just about anything. I did find this a little creepy, but knowing what my favorite foods were wasn’t really that alarming, since I know I had mentioned it to him at some point while we were dating. But that romance novel of mine he left on my bedside table really shook me up. I had no idea how he could have known about that.
I elevated the bed and pulled the table up so that I could recline back and eat. I was completely exhausted and I just wanted to eat and pass out. And that’s exactly what happened, after only a few bites of food and a sip of wine.
Chapter 7
Abby
I drifted into half-consciousness with the feeling of something extremely heavy on top of me. It was dark in the room but there was moonlight streaming through the window and I could just see the outline of a face inches in front of me. I had a hard time getting my eyes to open and when I finally did it was almost impossible for me to get them to focus properly.
That asshole did drug me. I knew I couldn’t trust him. When are you going to learn, Abby?
I could feel that my arms and legs were pinned down by the weight of the man who was straddling my body and I struggled as hard as I could in my half tranquilized state to get him off of me. I felt a surge of panic and came out of the deep sleep quickly as two hands shook my shoulders.
“Abby! Abby, it’s Jake!”
“What? Jake?” I said as I focused in on him. My head cleared as I realized that those were, in fact, Jake’s deep, soft eyes I was looking at.
What the hell? Now he’s Jake all of a sudden, but a few hours ago he was the creepy doctor?
“Abby I’m going to get you out of here!” he said in a panicked whisper. “I’m going to get you away from him. I’m not sure how yet, but I promise you I will.”
I stared at him in total disbelief. I’d thought that maybe this sadistic doctor persona was the big secret that Jake had been keeping from me when we were together, that maybe nice-guy Jake was just an act to get me to fall for him before he revealed the evil doctor. But what the hell was going on now? Surprise! He’s not the doctor…apparently he’s going to save me from the doctor now.
I was still too groggy to fully absorb what was going on and I was more curious than anything to see where all this was going.
“You’re going to get me out of here?” I said slowly as I watched him periodically glance over his shoulder to see if someone was coming through the door. Sweat was pouring down his face and even in the dark, I could see that he was at least a couple of shades paler than his normal slightly tanned skin tone.
“I’m so sorry about all this, Abby. You have no idea how sorry. I didn’t want this to happen. I was going to tell you eventually but things got out of hand when you left so suddenly. I tried to call you when I realized that he had taken off in his car to follow you.”
So, he did follow me. Why am I even remotely surprised? Especially after all the creepy things he’s done to me.
“I would have done anything to keep him from bringing you here. None of this was my idea. It was his. I swear to you!”
I could tell he was incredibly agitated. He looked like a scared little boy that was afraid of getting caught doing something wrong, not the cold, calculating doctor who had smirked his way through that fake psychiatric session the other day.
“Ok, Jake, just calm down.”
It was astounding to see it in his eyes. He completely believed that there was another person that m
ight come through the door at any moment. It was then that I started to wonder if this was just another one of his so-called tests.
“I just…I’m not very good at saying no to him, Abby. I’m so sorry. And once he had brought you here I…I didn’t know what to do to stop him. He’s dangerous, Abby. You can’t just reason with him. And this is his house now. I have no idea what kind of traps he has set up to keep you here.”
I studied his eyes, waiting for some shred of coldness to creep in but it never came.
“I know this is probably hard for you to believe. That I would be afraid of him, or of anyone. I feel silly saying it out loud to you. You have no idea how badly I never wanted to have this conversation with you.”
I could see tears welling up in his eyes. Whatever it was that he was trying to tell me, it was obvious that he believed it, and he was terrified. And as much as my brain was screaming at me to forget about this lunatic, I still wanted to believe that he wasn’t a lost cause.
Ok, maybe make that determination after you’re not a prisoner in his hospital mansion anymore, Abby.
“I don’t know why you left the way you did. I was heartbroken, Abby, but I knew you had your reasons. I didn’t want to press you because I was afraid that all of this would come up and I was afraid. And I don’t expect to pick up where we left off when I get you out of here, but I really hope you’ll be able to forgive me someday. I never, ever wanted to hurt you. I’m going to do everything I can to get you out of here. I promise. I’ll die before I let him have you. I’m so sorry, Abby.”
I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing as I watched tears stream down his cheeks and felt them dripping onto my neck. It was excruciating to watch him in so much pain even though I knew that at any second he could become the doctor again. I looked into his beautiful dark eyes and knew it was the Jake I had fallen in love with.
Oh, Jake, why did you have to be so fucked up? Well, we’re both pretty fucked up actually. Who am I to talk?
I stared into his sad eyes and decided to go along with whatever game he was playing. I didn’t have the vaguest idea what he was talking about, but I stilled cared about him and a part of me hoped something good could come of all of this, even though I was having hard time not feeling incredibly pathetic about having thoughts like that.
“It’s ok Jake. Just get me out of here and we’ll deal with everything else afterward. I would like to talk to you about everything that happened, and maybe even…work things through.”
His sad eyes softened even more as my words sank in. He slowly lowered his head and brushed his lips against mine.
You’re kidding me, right? You’re gonna let the psycho kiss you.
But my heart just wouldn’t hold back. I knew it was insane. I knew I was going off the deep end to a place of no return by letting him get to me like this. But I couldn’t stop myself once he touched me with those perfect lips. The way they brushed against mine so gently then worked their way up to the incredibly slow, passionate kisses that I swear to God I could feel all the way down to the tips of my toes. If there was such a thing as kissing soul mates, he was mine. Tears fell down the sides of my face as my entire body experienced what I had been craving these last few days. I had been wanting Jake’s touch, not the cold, hard grasp and fucking of that horrible doctor. I didn’t know if there was any way things could change for both of us, but I prayed that it was at least possible.
Please be fixable, Jake. Please!
His incredibly soft lips felt strong and powerful as they slowly ground themselves into me, his rough stubble grazing my skin in a way that hurt just a little but felt so good. I could taste the salt of his tears as they pooled in the corners of his mouth and that made me want him even more. He rested his arms on either side of my head on the pillow as I kissed him deeply and I brought my arm around his neck. His hair was thick and soft as I ran my hands through it, pressing him into my mouth harder. I just wanted the old Jake back.
Please God, let good Jake come out of this on top over psycho doctor Jake.
He moved his soft lips and stubbly chin down my neck and into the curve between my neck and shoulder and my entire body went up in flames. He slowly moved his lips across the top of my shoulder, then into the hollow of my neck, licking and brushing his lips across my skin and sending shivers through my entire body. I gasped and moaned as he buried his face deep into the curves of my neck and shoulders.
“Oh God, Jake,” I whispered softly into his ear. “Don’t stop.”
When he got to my collarbone he sat back on his knees and pulled the blankets down, exposing my breasts that were still only covered by the thin silky fabric of a sheer negligee. Jake gazed at my full breasts and the nipples poking up through the fabric, then slowly up my neck and finally to my eyes. I could tell by the way he looked at me that he was apologizing a thousand times over for everything that had happened up until this point and that he desperately wanted to make it all go away.
“I know there’s nothing I can do to make up for what’s happened…”
I reached my hand up and touched his jaw, running my thumb across his beautiful face.
“Shhhh. We’ll talk about all that after I get out of here, Jake.”
I pulled his face down to mine and kissed him as his hands moved up over my breasts and pulled the flimsy fabric down so that they fell free.
“God you’re so beautiful, Abby,” he said as he moved his face down to one of my nipples, licking and sucking it until it was double in size.
“You know I love you, don’t you?”
I froze as the word love rang through my head. It was something I longed for but was terrified of at the same time. I had been made a fool of too many times throughout my life and now this man who was pulling the biggest, most bizarre trick of all on me was telling me that he loved me. I hated myself for wanting to believe him.
Is it even possible for him to love me? And is it possible for me to believe anything he says?
Tears rolled down my cheeks again and I decided I didn’t want to think about love or real life or any of that right now. If there was even the remotest possibility that Jake could do a one-eighty and not be a lunatic anymore after I got out of there, that would be amazing. But for now, I just wanted to feel the amazing feelings my body was experiencing and pretend like what happened over the last two days in his doctor’s office was all a bad dream.
I unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it down, marveling at his gorgeous chest and arms. God, I loved Jake’s arms. I loved looking at the shape of the muscles as they bulged just below the shoulder, then tapered down towards the elbow. But I really loved the way they felt, especially when he was on top of me and the muscles were all fully engaged. I swear to god they were like tree trunks and I liked to think that he carried cars around over his head in his spare time.
I ran my fingers over the smooth, sinewy curves of his biceps and across to the whisper of hair on his chest, then down his impossibly smooth stomach. He shifted his weight off of me as he continued to kiss my neck and breasts and pushed the covers to the side so that my entire body was exposed to him. His hand move down the curve of my stomach, gliding over the soft fabric of my nightie that stopped short above my thighs, then spread my legs ever so slightly and rubbed the damp fabric in between. He groaned slightly as he hooked his fingers over the top of my panties on either side of my hips and slowly pulled them down.
He was back on top of me now, alternating his gaze between the dark patch of hair he had just uncovered, my breasts that I was slowly caressing, and my eyes that looked back into his with overwhelming desire. I did want him. I wanted him so badly, but I wasn’t sure why. Why was I allowing that man who was holding me captive to seduce me all over again? Was I just kidding myself that I could withstand this gorgeous form of torture that I was inflicting on myself? I realized then that I was the one that was tricking myself. I knew I was a fool if I thought that things would ever go back to the way they were, or that Jake could go back t
o being the man he was before he brought me to this horrible place. But I didn’t care. I wanted love, but was too scared experience the real thing, so this is where I wound up. In the arms of a lunatic who withheld affection from me one minute, then showered me with it the next.
My panties were off and Jake slowly ran his hands up the insides of my legs, pushing them apart as he passed my calves, then knees, then thighs, and finally resting his thumbs in my pubic hair. Then he gave my legs one final push and I was spread wide. I gasped as I looked into eyes that were no longer filled with sadness, but burned with desire for me.
“I want to watch you, Abby.”
That’s the way he would always tell me he wanted to watch me make myself come. He had always made it sound like watching me was the most exciting thing in the world to him and he was desperate for it. And I loved hearing him say it that way, instead of the way he had ordered me the day before.
I moved my right hand from my breast and down through the soft fluff of my pubic hair, then slid two fingers directly into my dripping wet vagina. They went in and out smoothly and I could tell that Jake was holding his breath as he gripped my thighs. I brought my fingers all the way back out, then moved up to circle my clit, around and around as my hips gyrated, intensifying the feeling arising from deep within me. I heard his breath quicken as my fingers swirled faster and faster, and I clutched my left breast harder, twisting the nipple and grinding my ass into the bed.
Jake pushed my legs even further apart and put all his weight on my thighs as he whispered my name and told me how much he wanted to watch me come. I arched my back and pushed my thighs up against his weight and the feeling of being immobilized sent my body into spasms. I pushed my head back into the pillow and moaned as my mind went blank and every ounce of tension in my body was released. As I came, I shoved two fingers inside me and Jake let go of my legs, allowing me to clamp them around my hand and twist to the side. He continued to watch as I lay there, shaking involuntarily and gasping for breath.
