by Anjela Day
An awkward silence fell on to the kitchen as Jade prepared what ever she was cooking. I didn't want to stand and watch or so I made myself useful.
“I'm going to go get some wood and start a fire. I told her walking over to the fire place, and grabbing the ax, and a Lateran to see the dark path.
Oh I hate when people judge me. They take one look at me and think just because I am in beauty pageants that I was some spoiled little rich girl. Some sheltered princess. Truthfully I hated princess. They were young women, waiting for a Prince charming to come swoop them up in their snow white Benz, and save them
I finished the food, and sat two plates on the table. He was still outside, so I made my way into the bathroom, to freshen up. I washed my face, and rinsed my mouth with water. I stopped to stare at my reflection just a second. If Saint only knew I was not who he thought I was. I was, hell I don't know who I was I thought to myself leaving the bathroom.
“You couldn't resit putting make up on?” Saint said startling me as I walked back into the living room.
“Make up?” I questioned. He'd made me get rid of my purse, phone and all that I carried and he think I held on to make up.
“I just washed the dirt off my face Saint.” I said slipping into the chair in front of one the plates.
“My bad ma, it's just you look so ,—He paused, and excused himself to go to the bathroom. I guess he'd freshened to. When he came back in the room he had on a black wife beater, and he was holding a long sleeve plaid shirt in his hands.
“You can sleep in this, my mom has a few things back there from where my dad used to bring us camping.” He said handing me the shirt and sitting down.
“I started the fire.” He informed me of something I hadn't even paid attention to.
“Thanks” I said faintly bending my head to pray over my food.
I was stunned when Saint took my hands, and lowered his head. Moments later he raised his head, and looked up.
“Amen” He said and I laughed, shocked that someone that appeared so cold even knew God.
“This looks good what is it?” He asked, and I shrug my shoulders.
“I found some flour and things so I made corn bread. A little rice, gravy and salmon coquettes just like granny used to make. I imagine. I told him and he sat back in his seat surprised.
“She cooks,” He said as if he really was in shock.
“Yes I do Saint!” I said
“Sean” He said lightly, correcting me. I hadn't even realized I didn't even know his name.
“Sean, that's a nice name. You got a sir name?” I asked
“Like a last name, it's Carter.” he said.
“Like the rapper?” I asked jokingly.
“Yeah I don't think my mom meant to name me after him. I mean – I'm named after my uncle. His name is Sean Marks, and my mothers last name is Carter.” He said shoving corn bread in his mouth.
I liked to hear him speak, his voice was thick, and clean. Not overly deep. He spoke as if he didn't have a care in the world.
“So are you and Your mom close?” I asked his eyes shifted from the plate of food, to me. He pushed his plate backwards, and just sat there for a second.
“Did I say something wrong?” I asked confused.
“Nah you good. Um My mother is, well she didn't raise me Sharron did, and yeah were close.” He said lifting his glass and drinking the water.
“Man my mother would love you.” He said starting to eat, and I was a little lost.
“So where is your mother, and who is Sharon your fathers wife?” I quizzed watching the color fade from his face I knew I had struck a nerve. He stared back at me, but ws no longer eating nor speaking.
“My mom died when I was about seven.” I blurted out. I looked away almost embarrassed. Saint looked up at me, and I wiped the stray tear that was trying to fall. “The day my mom died, I was born, if that makes sense.” I told him,and he sat back in his chair with a somber look on his face. I didn't know if I should continue or stop. I'd never trusted anyone with my past. I stared back at him, watching as he looked anywhere but at me.
“Lets get some rest, I'm sure your father is worried sick.” He said walking over and pulling my chair out.
“Yeah I'm sure him, and Johnathan our out of their minds. I said standing and clearing the table. I rinsed the dishes, and retreated to the back, to change clothes.
I don't know how I feel. Last night with Saint was – it was refreshing. I felt safe, and comfortable in my own skin. He thought I had make up on when I washed my face. I laughed to myself. Getting goose bumps with just the thought of last night. The thought of Sean. How did I never know his name. I think to myself pulling my pillow on to my lap. The sound of tapping pulls me from my daze, and I look up at the door. Dam Now I was going to have to fight with my father. I sighed.
“Come in” I said preparing for my fathers rant.
“Hey” Saint said surprising me.
“Hey,” I said sweetly.
He looked around my room smiling meekly.
“I always wondered what a real princess's room looked like.” He joked rubbing his curly hair. I noticed he did that when he was nervous. He walked around my room lifting my sashes, and tiaras I'd won. He stared at my closest, and I imagine my pastel giltered wall.
“I'm no princess.” I said rolling my eyes starting to stand.
“Nah I just came to say good bye. Your father said that you didn't need me anymore so I'mma go.” He said and I felt the breath leave my body.
“What about yesterday?” I asked nervously standing and walking towards Sean.
“Saint I need, you to be there,” I said and he looked away.
“Listen Jade, My hands are tied my boss calling me back to Detroit.” he said.
“What about my pageant?” I asked. He never said he was coming I just assumed he'd be there.
“When is it?” He asked looking concerned.
“Next Saturday, I said blinking a tear away. Saint pulled me close, and titled his head. He lightly blew my eye.
You're so beautiful.” he said taking me by surprise. I bit down on my lip lost at what he'd just said.
“Jay if you were – he paused in his words.
“I'll be there.” He said turning as my door started to open.
“Baby, are you ok?” Johnathan asked walking in as if he was the owner, my room or my heart. I ignored him watching as Saint's eye brow rose to the top of his face.
“Babe, your dad told me what happened, I had to see you for myself.” Johnathan said Brushing pass Saint as if he wasn't in the room.
“I'm going to go Jay,” He said winking his eye at me.
“No let me walk you out.”
“He's the help babe, he can find the door.” Johnathan said coldly.
“He's not the help Johnathan!” I said in protest . I hated how rude Johnathan was. Hell in my head he was just a little dick one night stand that my father was brown nosing. Because I was for damn sure not marrying him. I hissed without even realizing I had done so.
“My love don't get so upset.” Johnathan said, stroking my arm, and pulling me into his body. Saint's eyes lifted from the floor to the grip Johnathan had on me, he clearly looked upset.
“We're not in love,” I said out-loud, Johnathan head me, but was more so assuring Saint.
“Jay,I'm going to bounce, I'll see you soon.”
“Your services are no longer needed!” Johnathan said to saint, and I could see Saint's face turn upside down. His beautiful chocolate colored skin began to loose color.
“Yo my man's you not running shit!” Saint said facing Johnathan. I watched him slip his hands behind his back, and I knew that's where his gun rested. I didn't know much about Saint, but I knew that come came out fast. I placed my hand on his chest, and halted him.
“You were going to take me to get a new phone?” I asked him, and he nodded his head yes.
“Johnathan Saint needs to take me to get the things I need for next week
, I told him easing out of his grip.
“I can take you,” He said, and I looked at him annoyed.
“No it's Saint's job.” I said my hands up in protest.
“No I had your father fire him. He is nothing more than a hoodlum. He could have gotten you killed.” Johnathan said, and my blood pressure spiked. He had no right to intervene in my life.
“Well I rehired him until after my birthday party, and my pageant.” I said my eyes still firing daggers of hate at this man.
“Watch yourself, Jade.” Johnathan said scolding me as if I were his child.
“Look Jay I got to go Saint said. He bent down kissing my forehead sweetly. He didn't care that it made Johnathan that he looked at him as if he wanted him to catch fire. Saint clearly did what he wanted, and others would just have to accept that.
Money, why does she have to spend so much money? I asked looking at more bills on Jade's behalf. I just can't fathom why she feels as if I work only fore her!” I thought slipping into my chair, and looking over the paper work that had arrived in the mail.
“Cleopatra my late wife's life insurance was for a million dollars. It had doubled because of the way she had died, and I'd invested that,for Jade.
Sadly I always felt that Jade would be ok without her mom. That she would not get some of her mothers bad judgments,but Jade proved me wrong.
No matter what I did Jade was just like her mother. While she was beautiful, and smart. She also was pig headed, expensive, and a whore.
That was the one thing I prayed to avoid when it came to my daughter. I asked God not to allow my daughter to be so promiscuity, and here she was. Jumping from man to man . Dressing as if she had no class, or home training. It drove me insane. Made me mad that this was the woman I was raising.
“Dontay,” I hear pulling me from my thoughts. I looked up to see, Johnathan stepping into my office. He was fixing his suit jacket, and looked rather flushed.
“I thought you assured me that you were getting rid of the body guard!” He said base in his voice.
It was two things I didn't allow anyone fucking with my money. Nor did I tolerate disrespect.
“Have a seat young blood.” I told him, my way of keeping my cool. He puffed his chest out, before finally doing as he was told.
“Cigar,?” I offered sucking my teeth, when he waved me off.
“Listen young blood, your father is my lawyer. He's also on the short list for city council. We are two of the only black families in this city with this much respect. It's only right that we married our children to each other.” I said lighting my Cigar and inhaling the smoke, before I continued.
“Basically what I'm saying young blood is, I want to work with your father. I don't need him!” In fact It was my money that has assured him to be as wealthy as he is.” I told him finally standing from my desk. “That makes me the boss, not you. What you will never ever do is walk in my office, and ask what choice's I've made?” I said. I leaned over to where his arm rested on the chair, and pressed the lit cigar next to his arm. I never broke eye contact. I could see the fear, as it surfaced into his eyes.
“We understand each other?” I asked him. Johnathan was not my first choice of men for my daughter. He was by far one of the weakest men I'd ever met. Were it not for the money his family had. Also that I knew he was a medical resident. In less than a year he would be working at Northwestern memorial. Hospital. Was the only reason he was seated in front of me.
“It's just that if She is going to marry me in the next month, I need to know she's not sleeping with every man she meets. If she will just go home with me from , a club I can only imagine what she is willing to do with that man!” He said. I could hear the frustration in his voice. I understood just how he felt. I also knew that allowing your emotions to get the better of you will only make things, worse. “Listen young blood. Jade loves money. I have assured that without marrying you, she will have none. All you need to worry about is making sure she stays in a woman's place. If you can't do that, maybe you're not the man for my daughter. I told him sitting back in my seat, and re lighting my cigar.
****
I sat at the head of the table. The feast before me looked superb. Carmen, had out done herself. I was just glad she didn't over do it with all of that Ghetto food she is always trying to force on us. The more I tell that woman, we don't have to eat slave food. She still insist on cooking it regularly. The spread of fish, pasta and salads would be perfect for the guest we were expecting I'd offered to throw Jade a party for her birthday. However she requested something low-key. Johnathan suggested a dinner with just family, and a few of Jade's friends. I agreed. It would give Jade a chance to meet her in laws. It will also assure that Jade, didn't embarrass our family anymore.
“Malcolm,” I said shaking Johnathan's father's hand as he walked into the dinning room.
“Dontay, Susan his wife said kissing my cheek.”
“Glad the two of you could make it. I can't wait for you to see Jade now.” I said handing Them both a glass of Champagne.
“I'm sure she is as beautiful and as Graceful as her mother.” Susan replied. Malcolm just nodded his head and smiled with a half smile.
“They both new my wife. However it was only Malcolm that new her secrets.
“Where is Johnathan?” I asked looking at my watch ready to start.
I exhaled deeply staring at my reflection. Why is this my life?” I asked patting more concealer under my eye trying to blend the make up in smoothly. The sound of the phone pulled me out of my pity party. I looked at the text from Cree, and sighed. I'd texted Saint the last couple of days to see if he was coming, and he hadn't replied. Hell he hadn't called me at all since he told me his father had let him go.
I thought we had something special. I was sure that night at the cabin meant something to him. I wanted him to be there, for me, to protect me. Instead he walked out of that room, and Johnathan smacked me around for speak, out of turn. He said as he stood over me huffing.
Never in my life had a man laid his hands on me, and I was sure that my father would make sure it would never let it happen again. His reply, was “respect your husband.” That man was not my husband, and after today I would never have to see him again.
Just as soon as my trust fund was ready I was done. My father would be lucky if he saw me on holidays. This birthday was just my way of saying good bye. I glanced at my phone, finally read Cree's text.
“Bitch, I'm on my way, Camilla and Olivia, are coming as well, did you know?” Cree asked, and I rolled my eyes.
“I'm sure my father invited them.” I said dryly as I replied to the text.
“Will there be niggas there?” She Replied followed with, eye Emojis.
“I'm sure that Johnathan's friends will be there. No one you would want.” I said with a laughing Emoji.
“Money bag, money bag, money bag. If he got that Cho I'm in ?” She said followed by laughing emojis. I didn't bother to reply. I just let out a light laugh. I sat my phone back on my vanity, and continued to dress.
“Knock, knock.” I hear as Johnathan walked into my room. Why did he even bother to say knock knock? I thought refusing to look at him, or reply to entrance. Whatever he wanted I really didn't care. I truthfully wished he'd catch fire, and burn slow.
“I'm not dressed!” I told him looking at myself in just my panties and bra.
“I've seen you naked before.” He said cockily. I hated him, with everything inside of me.
“Wow You look beautiful.” Johnathan said with a look of surprise on his face. He leaned in and kissed my neck. She is touch made me sick. Chills shot down my spine, and I quivered. I felt sick, just from the mere smell of his robust cologne. I pulled away from him, and dabbed on a little perfume, before stepping into my dress.
“You're wearing that?” He asked looking at my off the shoulder Dolce and Gobonna dress. It was white, with a gold chain belt. I even made sure to pull my hair up, so that my diamond necklace was showing.
I felt like I was stunning. Here the man my father wanted me to marry was putting me down. I couldn't wait for this all to be over. I groaned. The sound of my phone vibrating, pulled my attention back on to myself.
“Did you hear me?” He said as I glanced over my phone.
“No I'm sorry I said, laughing at the Egg plant emojis Cree had just texted.
“Who are you talking to?” Johnathan asked ripping my phone from my hand.
“What are you doing?” I asked watching him thumb down my phone.
“Is there something I can help you find?” I asked sucking my teeth. I was seething. This, man really knew how to get underneath my skin.
“I hope that my wife isn't as classless, as her friends.” He said tapping the pictures of eggplants.
“You have your fuckin nerve.” I said
“Watch your tone!” He replied. It was more so of an order than a request.
“Back to the dress, my family is downstairs, and so are a few of my colleague's,” He spun me around to look him in his eyes and I could feel myself balling my fist. His eyes roamed my body,and I could feel him undress me. He lifted my chin, to prevent me from looking away.
“Do not embarrass me!” He roared. He reached behind me unzipping my dress. It fell to the floor. A pleased looked fail upon his face. A look of greed in his eyes. I knew that greedy look ole' to well it was the one Armstrong gave me on our encounters. He gripped my arm, and spun me around. Tightly holding my arm behind my back, he pressed my face on my dresser.
“Don't do this,” I said through grit teeth.
“What, fuck my future wife? Have you been fucking that body guard?” He asked pulling my panties down with his free hand.
“No,” I said almost out of breath.
“How do I know, you fucked me after buying you a bottle of Champagne.” He reminded me of the night at Sparrow, that I regretted, from the moment it happened.
“Please lets go down stairs!” I begged, feeling him press his body against mines.
