“I’m going to do things my way, darling, and you’d better get used to it.”
“I just wanted everything else we used to have, too,” I said. “The affection, the tenderness, the sex.” I emphasized the last.
“That’s coming, I promise.”
His hand rose to my upper thigh, moving to the inside of my leg. I knew my pussy was dampening, the desire climbing to an almost impossible degree. I pressed myself against his hand, wanting more. And yet I felt so precarious and exposed; I wasn’t used to this with him. It was another thing that was easy with Reggie. Though not with Will. “I’m scared,” I whispered, practically in tears. “But I still want it to work.”
“Well then, we’ll keep working at it, and all you have to do is give up control.”
By then my legs were like jelly, and I knew Will well enough to know that we were on our way to sex. I wanted it more than anything, but I was scared of that too.
His hand made its way to my crotch, though suddenly he seemed to change his mind, and he meandered to my bottom, leaving my throbbing cunt to remain untouched. Squeezing my ass firmly, his tight grasp reminded me of the punishing spankings he’d given me that week. There were still places on my bottom that were tender, and I winced as sharp pains raced through me. I shouldn’t have been surprised that he began to probe between my ass cheeks.
“He told you about that, too?”
Will didn’t say a word, his expression said everything. Standing up, he surrounded me with a warm hug, though it didn’t last long. He was far too intent on taking me than being kind.
“Been a long time, Alex,” he said, as his fingers probed deeper into my rear cleft, to my bottom hole. He pulled a jar of cream from the table where he’d placed it, and the cream became lubricant to grease my rear channel. I let the feelings begin there, remembering well how Reggie had screwed me, and I hadn’t flinched or protested because I couldn’t. I wondered what would have happened if I did with Will?
For an instant I thought I’d test him, see if he would balk the way he used to. But it was so unfair, and I’d just be controlling as I’d been before. Making the decision not to refuse him made all the erotic sensations in my body that much stronger. Was this what submission felt like?
When he turned me around and pushed me over the arm of the chair, I was ready for him, even eager for him to violate me the way he often wanted. The entry was easy and swift; and he rode me gently, even though from time to time he slapped my bottom just to remind me of my place. I was all his, demanding nothing for myself, and grateful that after all these weeks, we’d at last progressed to this point. As he exploded inside, I found my own orgasm mount and spill deliciously over the edge in sensuous waves to match his much stronger climax. By the time he finally withdrew, I felt weak as a kitten and well used.
Will pulled me from the chair immediately, I was almost too limp to stand; though he was strong enough to keep me on my feet. His hand was in my hair, his lips on my forehead, while I remained tight to his chest. I clung tightly to him, afraid he’d leave.
“You’ve forgiven me?” I whispered, with my face buried in his chest.
“Yes, I’ve forgiven you.” And a little more of me collapsed contentedly against him.
We stayed locked together for a while not moving. And though I should have felt a good deal of satisfaction, my mind was already wondering what would happen next.
“So, you don’t need to punish me again?” I ventured.
“Punish you anymore for deceiving me? No. Keep you in line? Yes.”
“And you’ll be moving back in?” I asked. We were on a roll and I was starting to ride high.
Will tightened up, almost imperceptibly, but I felt it. He pushed me away, gently. “No,” he said.
I was devastated, in tears and wanting to tear myself away, but he held me firmly by the shoulders.
“We’re starting over, remember?”
“Completely?”
“I’m not going to move fast, Alex. We’ll get this right this time, before we start making commitments we can’t keep.”
“But?” I started my protest, a whole string of promises ready to spill out.
“Shush,” he said, putting his hand against my mouth, knowing what I was about to do. “You have lots to think about, and I’m going to give you plenty of time to do that. Now I think I’d better go.”
That was it. He left me with as much desire and loneliness as when he left after the punishments. I was filled brim full of guilt and regret that I’d ever let our relationship come to this. Though at least this time, there was some glimmer of hope.
***
I remember the weeks that followed for their extremes: the wild highs of being with Will, romantically, sexually and as his willing submissive. He was testing me. There’s no other way to describe the treatment. I’ve never known the man to be so deliberate, cautious and so thorough.
“I’m guarding against the hurt,” he told me one night.
I’d just made a trip over his lap, one of the first since ‘hell week,’ my affectionate term for that first week of punishment.
I’d been late meeting him for dinner, and was feeling piqued with him for being annoyed by my tardiness. I snapped at him one too many times, just like in the old days, which were not exactly ancient history. Once we were back in my apartment, I was over his lap, no warning at all, with the hairbrush coming down on my bottom while I kicked and screamed and cried bloody murder.
Before he let me up, he’d managed to cover my entire bottom from the top of my cheeks down to the top of my thighs with a fast furious blast of smacks. If I’d thought the strap and cane and even the wooden paddle were bad; this old fashioned moment over his firm thighs had to be as nasty as any earlier punishment. It was completely humiliating being treated like a child, with the spanking intended to curb my bratty disposition.
It was a rude awakening, especially after I thought things had settled down between us. No, it wasn’t going to be like the old days, when I’d ride roughshod over our relationship, demanding things in my very sweet way and expecting Will to kowtow to my manipulations. Then again, maybe I was testing him too, just to see if he would live up to his vows.
Chapter Thirteen
I remember Reggie chuckling once, telling me that ‘some things you plan, other things just kind of happen without your knowing it.’ What became the turning point, though not the final chapter—if there will ever be a final chapter in my relationship with Will—was one of those things that ‘just happened,’ without forethought, without any design or plans. A magical fluke perhaps…and yet it seems the outcome was almost pre-ordained, as if I had some prankster of a guardian angel to manipulate me like a puppet in order for me to learn the best lesson of my life.
I was prickly for weeks with an unpredictable Will who’d leave me smarting, confused and a little wary. I never knew if he would love me, punish me, or ignore me; and my rattled nerves could hardly take much more of my quixotic lover. I was at a point where I wasn’t sure if the constant trauma to my peace of mind was worth what I thought might result, if I held on long enough. Even Reggie’s words of encouragement had worn thin. The bottom line was, I wanted Will home, living with me, loving me, and even punishing me regularly if that’s what I needed; but being jerked around on his whim was as difficult to bear as it had been when I was jerked around on Reggie’s strings years before.
My own manipulating mind was beginning to run free with all kinds of ideas to end this horrible in-between, and bring him back where he belonged. But I knew that there was nothing that wouldn’t be seen as a cunning manipulation, and I’d never have him back if I was found out. What brought this impasse to a head was something completely unconscious.
“Alex, I’m glad I caught you,” Will’s voice boomed over the phone. He was rushed and excited, so I surmised from his brusque manner. “Did you get my note? You’re meeting me at Reggie’s estate at seven,” he said. “I can’t pick you up, you’ll have
to take a taxi, then I’ll take you home.”
“What note?” I asked. I was lying, I saw the note, plain as day, and like everything else that had happened since Will announced that we were going to a party at Reggie’s, I was frightened and suspicious.
“I left you a note, told you everything,” he said sounding annoyed.
“Will, please can’t you pick me up?”
“No, I can’t. I’ll send the taxi, just be there. And Alex, don’t start getting all spooked about this again. I told you, this is one time you don’t have to worry. It’s a totally innocent party at the estate, no sex, no spanking, nothing, just a night to get away and have some fun. We’re certainly not going to make you parade around naked.”
I didn’t believe him. I hadn’t from the start. Reggie’s estate meant only one thing to me.
“I don’t have a choice?” I said. “You know, I haven’t felt well at all today.”
“No, you don’t have a choice, you’re just nervous. It’ll be the best thing in the world for you.”
“Thanks,” I said sarcastically. “You’re really getting into wielding power over me.” I was snapping like a turtle.
“You think so?” he asked, not expecting me to be so annoyed.
“Yeah!” I said. How could I walk in there again? And now, alone, without Will on my arm. It was impossible.
“Well, get over your fears, darling, because I want you there.”
Those words almost muted the freezing chill that ran so fast through me, I could hardly move.
“So how do I dress?” I asked.
“We already talked about that,” he said exasperated. “How about that red dress I like so much?”
“I guess,” I agreed reluctantly.
“Then, I’ll see you there.”
Every memory, every act, every wild recollection of that former time thundered through me. It thawed the chill, but like ice cracking on a spring day, I was afraid of the ensuing flood of emotions, and by the time the receiver hit the phone cradle, I was certain that there was no way I would walk back into that house again. I’d do anything to stay away.
At 6:45 p.m. I called Reggie’s house as my stomach did its hundredth flip flop since the conversation with Will. I really was feeling sick. “Reggie please,” I asked the maid that answered.
“Reggie, this is Alex,” I said when I heard his voice.
“Yes.”
“I’m sick. I mean it, really sick.”
“Sick how?” he said, actually sounding worried.
Did knots in my stomach count…did weak knees and an aching head give me cause enough?
“You’re not sick because the party is here?” he asked before I could answer.
“C’mon. I’ve already been through that with Will. I’m beyond that now. I was really looking forward to tonight. This must be the flu. I just barfed up everything in my stomach. You can call my friend Kathy, she was just down here nursing me.” I had called Kathy about my plight; my next door neighbor would do anything I asked her to, and keep mum about the truth.
My head was hot from pounding so hard that it made my lying easier.
“I’m sorry to hear that. I was looking forward to seeing you. You’d better get to bed,” he said, backing off so kindly, I was astounded.
It’s just as well he did didn’t argue. There was no way I was going to his party, if that’s what it really was. I had visions of playing out my rocky relationship with Will right in front of Reggie’ eyes; and one dominant man at a time was all I could take. Still reeling over the little things that continued to slip out in conversation with Will, my mind worked overtime putting all the pieces together; it seemed to me that the whole three week punishment fiasco with Reggie was actually a plot between my two masters of manipulation. At that very moment, I wasn’t sure I wanted either one of them as friend or lover!
After I hung up the phone, I went to bed, putting several bottles of medicine at my bedside, a barfing pan, everything to make my sickness as realistic as possible, just in case.
About an hour after my conversation with Reggie, my worst fears were realized when I heard Will coming through my front door. I listened as he made his way through the apartment until he was standing by the bed.
“Get up, you’re going to the party.”
“I’m sick,” I told him. I turned over in bed and groaned.
“No, you’re not. You’re just afraid, and I’m not going to let you get away with that.”
“Will, I feel horrible, you have to believe me.”
“Not as horrible as you’re going to feel if you don’t get your ass out of bed.”
I really didn’t have much choice, because he was pulling my dead weight with a firm tug. Still I resisted.
“Stop the act now or it’s only going to get worse,” he snapped, getting angrier the more I tried to pull back.
“Call Kathy, ask her, she was here when I was throwing up.”
“That’s bullshit. I know it. You know it. Kathy would tell me the sky was green and there were orange eagles flying overhead, if you told her to.” He tugged at me harder.
“Will, stop!” I barked at him sharply, but that was the last straw.
His eyes were flashing, his demeanor now that chilling hot/cold that could sometimes thrill the pants off of me, if I’d had any on. Unfortunately, my pants were already off, and lying on the chair by the bed. And to make it all worse, my wide leather belt was still inside the loops, where it was perfectly easy for Will to remove.
In a split second he had the belt free, and with my bottom naked, I was over his knee, the doubled leather coming down on my rear with lightning quick speed.
“Stop!” I barked. “I’m going to be sick.”
“Well, that’s too bad,” he barked right back. I couldn’t understand why he didn’t believe me, it seemed the more I waged my battle, the less influenced he was.
“Don’t you ever, ever, try to deceive me like that again!” he shouted as the snaps of two inch leather smacked my rear.
“Yeeeoooch!” I wailed before it even hurt, and he didn’t like that either.
“You’re one classic case, Alex Morgan, one surefire bitch!”
The belt peppered my bottom. And the more I ranted, the harder he hit my buns, the more inspired he seemed to be to keep going. I knew it was useless to struggle with a determined man, but I did anyway. I had to save face, and I almost hoped I’d puke all over the floor just to prove my point, but I wasn’t lucky enough for that to happen.
Will knew that, damn him!
Still, I struggled like the dickens, and for good reason, the leather was putting one hellish burn on my bottom, and I could hardly stand another smack.
“Please,” I pleaded. I was getting weary of the battle, but he kept it up, the leather hitting me right on the center of my ass cheeks where it hurt the most.
“You planning to mark me?” I finally blurted out.
Of course that only made him start again.
After that, I gritted my teeth and put on my best spanking deportment. To my great relief, with a few more feverish smacks, he finally stopped. Pushing me to my feet, however, it seemed the fire of his anger had hardly left his furious eyes. “Now! You have exactly five minutes to get yourself gorgeous.”
“What!”
“Reggie’s party? Or did you forget?”
“Now? My god, I look like shit! It’s nearly eight.”
“Well then, we’ll be fashionably late.” His glaring eyes challenged me to object again.
“You don’t mean it. You’re going to make me face Reggie?” I couldn’t think of anything more horrible.
“Seems to me you owe him an apology.” He simply wouldn’t see it my way.
“Really?” I whined.
“You want to give me another excuse. I’ll go another round with this.” The belt was still in his hand. I stared at it for a moment. “You’re going to go with me, Alex. It’s just a matter of how sore and red you want your bottom to
be.”
I got the message, and seeing that I had, he finally wandered out to the living room while I got dressed.
When I finally appeared in the bright red dress, his expression was humorless. “You know, I should punish you again for being, let’s see…” he was looking at his watch, “five minutes past my deadline. But, you’re looking so beautiful, I’ll forgive you that much.” His anger was replaced by an affectionate grin, and at least for the moment, I considered myself safe.
***
The lights in Reggie’s house were glimmering so brightly, I almost thought it was lit up for Christmas, it looked so inviting. I’d never seen his home from this viewpoint, outside at night. I’d always been inside where the dramas of Reggie’s life were brewing, and where I’d been the centerpiece as his dutiful submissive.
I tried putting on a delightful grin, sure to ward off any uncomfortable moment of my arrival. Everything was coming back to me; all the trials I’d endured in this place were instantly fresh in my mind. And yet, the light hearted nature of the party seemed to dispel the ominous feelings. Perhaps it was be a perfectly innocent evening, just as Will insisted. Reggie was charming. Will said nothing of my tardiness, or the necessity of my having to be shanghaied to the party, encouraged by the leather belt. It seemed that all had been forgotten and I had the evening won.
There was one slight moment of anxiety when I found myself standing in the middle of Reggie’s library. A cold chill raced up my spine, though I didn’t want to acknowledge why.
“You recall what happened here?” Reggie turned to me and asked. Apparently he was remembering that night, too. There were other people mingling around the room, paying no attention to us, so there was little way I could squirrel my way out of a response.
“How could I forget,” I said. It was the sight of my first anal sex experience, and my initiation into the Reggie’s world of submission.
“You think we ought to repeat that scene?”
The suggestion startled me. As I looked at him and then at Will, I was scared to death that was exactly what these two had in mind. A full public display of my ass, likely spanked again until it was raw, and god knows what thereafter.
The Alexandra Series Page 31
