by Kahlen Aymes
The music was playing and I was swaying. It had a slow rhythm, and the words were serious. I started to sing…
I tried not to let the words overwhelm me because I knew our feelings would show on both of our faces. I couldn’t help letting some of it show.
Cade’s eyes got serious as he watched me, and the music slowed even more in tempo. My voice got softer as the song ended.
My voice trailed off as the music faded and Cade clapped exuberantly and whistled; as did the rest of them, save for Wendy.
I set the mic down and walked toward Dawson who said, “Wow, those lyrics are perfect for the movie, Brook. They should use that song on the track.”
“Maybe a slower arrangement would be better. It makes it more painful, somehow. But, I’m sure the tracks are chosen by now.” I allowed myself to glance at Cade out of the corner of my eye, and his gaze was hungry, following my movements. We both struggled to catch little looks at each other without being obvious. Ethan was saying something to him, so he ran his hand through his hair and turned his attention to the conversation.
There was a big commotion by the door as the bell rang, and in seconds, Wendy ran to answer it.
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, and I was pissed. It was clear who Wendy was texting as I sang. My lips compressed in a tight line. He must have had a rocket up his ass to get here so fast, or more probable, Wendy had him on stand-by.
“Look everyone! David’s here! Brook, I got you a present!” Her arm was around David as she was leading him over to me. I glanced at Cade and I noticed his mouth tighten.
This was fucking great, I thought. “Now, you can get laid!” Wendy giggled when she said the words, flinging them loudly from the other side of the room. Her eyes were hard as they met mine: her face sobering, and her mouth tightening as she looked at me.
I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck start to prickle. That bitch, my mind screamed. She knows, or at least suspects and she’s going to do whatever she can to make trouble between us. She let go of David, and went to Cade’s side, gazing into his face as he took in the scene in front of him.
“Hey, babe.” David came toward me and threw his arm around my shoulders, pulling me toward him so he could plant a kiss on my stunned lips. “I missed you.”
I groaned internally, knowing Cade was taking this right in his gut.
He looked Cade straight in the face, gloating openly with his arm still draped possessively over me. “Cade.” He nodded in his direction. “How’s things over the pond?” He smiled, but I thought it was more like a jeer.
“Brilliant,” Cade said through his teeth. “I can’t wait to get back there, actually. I’ve got a lot going on, working on some new music with my mates and promoting two other films.” He ran his hand through his hair. “If you’ll all excuse me,” he said, and went out the balcony door.
My heart sank. I knew he was seething, and I tried to move away from David, but his arm tightened around me as he felt my resistance. I was royally pissed at Wendy for inviting him, but I couldn’t say a damn thing about it. I didn’t know what to do.
Obviously, I wanted to get the hell out of there, but if I left, I wouldn’t see Cade anymore tonight. I couldn’t stay because David would be hanging all over me. Damn him! Didn’t he know that he wasn’t “on duty” right now? To make it worse, David kissed me. I’d promised Cade, no kissing during this damn charade, and now with Wendy acting like a fucking bloodhound, I wouldn’t have the chance to talk to him.
Wendy made a beeline to follow Cade out, and my hands clenched at my sides. I didn’t know how we were going to get through this. I, for one, couldn’t stand it for one more minute.
“I’m not feeling so well,” I said as I put a hand to my head. “I need some air.” I made my way toward the front door and in doing so, I moved away from David.
“You need me to come?” he asked.
“Um, no. Thanks.” I shook my head almost imperceptibly. That’s the last thing I needed. “I’ll be okay and back in a few minutes.” I made my way out the front door to the porch.
Jen followed me. “Damn Wendy! That girl is like a bitch in heat.”
I felt sick to my stomach. “I’ve never told her how I felt about him, but I wonder if she figured it out?”
“Come on, Brook!” Jen pressed her lips together and paused before she continues. “She knows about you and Cade. She asked me about it at the wrap party, but I played dumb. I told her she was crazy, but it was clear that she was more than suspicious.” My friend shook her head. “I always thought she was a big fame whore, but it’s becoming apparent she’s just a whore, period. She only wanted to be your friend because Cade was always hanging around you. He’d be the biggest conquest of her life: friggin’ front-page news. She’d make sure of it.”
“No, Wendy and I were friends before the movie. We met through David a couple of years ago. We all hang out together.” I went to her defense. “She’d worked with Martin on a small indie move when she was still in school.” I shook my head quickly. “She might even be the reason I got the audition for The Future or Our Past, the first Remembrance film.”
“Yeah, well, you can bet she took advantage of your friendship during filming. She still is using you to get to Cade. How did it make you feel when she was around David all the time?” Jen was perceptive. “Before, I mean?”
Jennifer’s face was filled with concern. I looked down and shook my head again. “Um… to be honest, I never gave it a thought. We were all just friends. Wendy is wild, she does some wacky shit, and I guess, she was fun to hang with. I never worried she was after David.” My voice trailed off as I realized the minutes were ticking by with Wendy outside with Cade.
“With friends like that, you don’t need enemies. Maybe David wasn’t a big enough fish,” she said pointedly. “Cade is more like a whale.”
I felt the bile rise in my throat at the thought of Wendy’s red fingernails all over Cade. “I’m feeling sick all of a sudden. I just really want to go home. I’m not used to alcohol and uh… what’s going on out on the balcony, and David here… Ugh!” I closed my eyes; I really was going to puke. “It’s too much.”
“What about Cade? You know nothing is going on out there, Brook. He completely adores you. You don’t want to leave without talking to him, do you? Isn’t he flying to England, tomorrow?”
“It might be easier if I just text him later.”
She rubbed my arm. “This is going to upset him. Go out there, and put that sleazy bitch in her place.”
I sighed in defeat. “I can’t, Jen. This isn’t easy for either of us. I don’t want to follow him around like Wendy is doing. It’s just not me.” I sighed. “Even if I wanted to, there’s no way I will.”
She pursed her lips. “I’ll go tell him you’re leaving, and I’m sure he’ll want to come say goodbye,” Jen said.
I smiled weakly. She was a savior. “If you insist,” I said softly with a smile, “and Jen? Thanks.”
She nodded with a small smile, as she went back into the house and toward the balcony. I followed, found a table off to the side by the window, and sat down to look out onto the street.
At that moment, David came over “Want a ride home?”
I hesitated. “I guess, maybe? I’m not sure. I want to say goodbye to everyone first.” My brow crinkled, and he lit a cigarette. “Thanks for giving me a little space, before.” I smiled at him weakly.
“Sure. Okay, let me know when you’re ready.” He moved off to mingle and talk to the other guys. Maybe he and I would be able to be friends after all. I hoped so.
Chapter 13
Daydreams & Desire
Wendy was incessantly annoying as she rambled on about mindless shit, always touching me, leaning in, panting all over me with her inebriated breath. Bloody hell! How was I ever going to untangle myself from her, and get a chance to talk to Brooklyn?
Brook. My heart swelled at the thought of her.
Last night, and this mo
rning, had been absolute perfection. Making love with her was more than I imagined; the passion between us was beyond anything I’d ever experienced, but, I realized, just being able to be in the same room with her was enough. To be immersed in her real world was amazing. My life had become so commercialized, and my own family so far away most of the time, that just the normalcy of spending time with her family, seeing her joking with her brother, or laughing with her mum was indescribable.
This morning waking up with her in my arms made it real. I was finally a part of her life like I wanted for so long, was better, and more, than I’d expected. My throat felt thick as emotion washed over me. I blinked in surprise.
Hearing Brook say she loved me, and only me, gave me a type of natural high like I’d never known. It would have been so much easier on both of us, if we’d only been honest about our feelings months ago.
After the first time we’d made love in London, and she’d resolved my past torment by admitting that she hadn’t allowed David to touch her since she met me, was such a gift. I understood her loyalty to David at the time, however. She wouldn’t be the person I loved if she could have cut him loose without remorse.
I closed my eyes at the memory. She was so damn beautiful and sexy, and more, the love in her eyes glowed. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I told myself how lucky I was.
I felt a tug on my arm. “Cade!” Wendy whined. “You’re not listening! Don’t I look pretty?” She fished for compliments. Her immaturity was such a stark contrast to Brook’s personality, even though she was closer to my age, than Brook’s. Jesus. She left me utterly cold.
“Wendy, you always look nice,” I said dismissively, and took another drink of my beer. I looked up as Jennifer approached, thankful for the interruption with Wendy.
“Hey, Jen,” I said, relieved to have someone else join us. I wanted any excuse to get away from Wendy. “How have you been? You look great.” I smiled, and gave her a hug.
“Hi Cade. You look, um, very happy.” The wry expression she flashed was quickly replaced with a knowing smile. I smirked at her. Did she know? “Hi, Wendy,” she said.
“What’s going on in the other room? Has Dawson kicked Ethan’s ass on PlayStation baseball?” I asked, but really I wanted to know what was going on between David and my girl.
“Dawson is bad-ass at baseball and karaoke, but Ethan is better at football and the fighting games. The testosterone is really thick in there!” She folded her arms and leaned on the rail.
“Wendy, you look like you could use another drink.” Jennifer looked pointedly at her empty glass, and I knew it was a ploy to help me out. Jen was smart and intuitive, and I liked her. She was one of only a few up-and-coming actresses that treated me like a normal person. That was one thing I hated about Hollywood, and working with newcomers.
“You should go get one. I’ll keep Cade company,” she said sweetly, her smile mockingly innocent. I almost choked on my beer.
“I’ll go in for one when Cade is ready.” Wendy glanced between Jennifer and I, her agitation showing on her face.
“You don’t have to wait for me, Wendy. Go ahead.” I nodded in the direction of the door, practically begging her to leave when her lower lip came out in a pout. I didn’t give a damn. Clearly Jennifer wanted to talk to me without anyone listening, but that wasn’t going to happen if Wendy had her way. I looked at Jennifer over Wendy’s head and widened my eyes as I ran a hand through my hair.
Jennifer’s mouth twitched, trying to hold back a laugh. “Um, you know Brook isn’t feeling well, I think she’s going to leave soon. I thought you might like to say goodbye, since we won’t all be together again for several weeks,” she said quietly.
“What’s wrong with her? She looked great when I saw her earlier.” I said as I patted her arm, looking intently into her face, trying my best to determine whether Brook was really ill or this was just Jennifer’s way of giving me an excuse to get away from Wendy. “I do want to check on her before she goes. Um, thanks, Jen.”
I moved quickly to the door leading from the balcony into Ethan’s condo, before giving either one of them a chance to answer.
“Cade, wait.” Wendy started to follow me, but Jennifer grabbed her arm.
“Great dress, Wendy. Who’s the designer?” she started a conversation to keep Wendy occupied as I made my escape.
My eyes searched for Brook and found her sitting at a small table on the far wall looking out the window; clearly lost in her thoughts. Sadness haunted her delicate features and I ached to take away her pain. Thankfully, David was talking to Noah on the other side of the room, so I made my way over and pulled out the chair next to her. She looked up, her eyes lighting up as I sat down.
“Hey,” she murmured, a smile coming to her lips. I could see her visibly reign in her reaction to me, and I hated she needed to.
“Mind if I join you, sweetheart?” I asked softly. I wanted to take her in my arms and whisk her out of this crowded apartment, and back to her room to make slow love to her, but that was impossible with the confines of the damn contracts hanging over our heads.
“Jennifer said you weren’t feeling well and were leaving soon.” I sighed. “I wish…” I let the words fall off. Brook’s hand reached out to touch me, but then she stopped abruptly, once again remembered the illusion we were forced to create.
“That you could leave with me?” She read my mind, her eyes languid pools. “I know. Me, too.” She took a deep breath, her hand tracing patterns on the tabletop, watching her fingers move. “I’m just feeling like I don’t want to be here anymore. I’m not having a great time because it isn’t like it was on set. Even though you’re here, I can’t be with you.”
She raised her beautiful blue eyes as sadness crept back into them.
I could easily stare in to those eyes for all eternity.
I ran a hand through my hair, and looked at her a few seconds before I spoke. Drinking in everything about her, the dark blue blouse that brought out the pink tinge to her pale skin plunging between her perfect breasts, where I could imagine her heart beating. Her hair flowing in disarray around her shoulders, and her open mouth as she lightly ran her tongue over her lips.
I leaned in a little and lowered my voice, knowing my eyes had to be burning with desire as I looked at her. She looked so fragile; so soft.
“I want,” I let out a breath and dropped my head, shaking it slightly before raising my eyes back up to meet hers. “I want to tell the entire fucking world that I love you. I want to be able to take a hold of you and say to them all, we’re leaving now because we can’t wait another bloody minute to be alone. And, I want to make love to each other until we’re panting and breathless. Just once more before I have to go.”
I watched her face for her reaction. Her jaw dropped slightly and her lips parted, her eyes grew darker, and her cheeks flushed with heat as she drew in her breath in an audible gasp.
“I get hard just looking at you from across the room, Brook. I want you so much, I just—” I sighed. “Right now, without even touching you, you can make me—” my breath caught in my throat as my hand on the table clenched into a fist.
Desire surged through her as I said the words, her lids drooped to half cover her eyes, her breath came in short bursts, her mouth opened and her teeth came out to bite her lower lip. It was palpable and visible, and it made my own heart and body quicken in response.
“Cade, stop.” She was breathless. “Stop making love to me with words when we can’t do anything about it. It makes me insane.” Her voice thickened as she spoke and she ran a hand through her gorgeous blonde hair. I wanted it to be my hands in the silken strands, grasping, pulling her face back to kiss her.
Seeing the way my words affected her, I just couldn’t stop.
“I want to make love to you with my hands, my mouth, my body. To worship you until you scream for me to stop.” My mouth went dry just thinking about it.
Her mouth open, she tried to speak and couldn’t. S
econds passed and she tried again.
“You know I feel the same way. I’d rip your clothes off right here and now if I could.” She let out a shaky breath. “I’ll never get enough of you. E-ver.” She punctuated the words by saying them slowly, her breathing getting notably shallower, and her eyes were liquid fire.
My erection was straining in my jeans to the point of getting uncomfortable, my heart pounding in my chest, my breath coming faster. I felt like a starving man, never dreaming in my life before Brook, that this degree of longing, desire, lust, and love was even a remote possibility. Body and soul, I was aching; writhing in beautiful agony.
At that moment, Ethan walked up and pushed against my shoulder, breaking the invisible bubble between Brook and I. Always the perfect host, he sat a new beer in front of me, and handed Brook another glass of white wine. Guiltily, we both sat up straighter in our chairs, away from the close conversation we’d been caught in. I could feel the heat rising in my face, and could see the blush infuse Brook’s cheeks as well. She lowered her head so that a curtain of hair fell around her face.
He leaned down and spoke softly near my ear, but loud enough for Brook to hear. “Get a room,” Ethan said dryly, and chuckled as he walked away. I laughed after him, but Brook’s eyes just widened.
She ran a hand through her hair again, tearing her gaze away from mine to look over the room. “It’s hopeless.” She sighed. “We suck at hiding our feelings. It’s our damn job, and we can’t do it. How hilarious is that?” She raised her head but a small smile danced on her lips. “I mean, seriously?”
I noticed the soft sheen of perspiration on her forehead and was concerned.
“Love, are you really sick?” I asked. I was aching at the thought of her leaving, but I wanted to make sure she took care of herself. I tried to calm the reactions of my body, slow my breathing.
