“I knew no such thing. I was willing to remake my life for you, Sophie.”
“But—”
“And you walked away. You walked away.”
The silence stretched out between them as she watched him, and he did everything he could to not look away. He wanted to hide the hurt and fear he knew was naked in his eyes. And yet she was the only one he had ever been able to be this honest with. There was enormous relief in it. In letting go.
Her response was not what he expected. He thought she might tell him she had never meant to provoke that sense of desertion in him. Instead, she moved to him, took his face in both her hands and kissed him with a tenderness and longing he happily surrendered to.
Pulling her close with his arms around her waist, they continued to kiss and quickly found the rhythm they had perfected in all those make-out sessions during school. Her lips were soft but her kiss was anxious. He thought fleetingly about the fact that she still knew exactly how to manage him. She knew he didn’t want to verbalize that her leaving had brought forth the feelings of abandonment he first felt as a child. It was hard enough to have experienced it. Openly examining the whole thing would have been agony.
Even as he greedily kissed her, he knew his brutal honesty about the consequences of her leaving had bordered on emotional manipulation. It hadn’t been his intention. It was the simple truth. He had been heartbroken. But saying it was a way to bypass answering for his actions because it appealed to her maternal nature. She had always been a natural caretaker, someone looking to anticipate others’ needs. This had made their initial connection deeper than the average teenage dalliance because he had desperately needed to be cared for.
And here she was again, providing the warmth and familiarity he had craved these past few years. The scent on her skin was the same slightly floral one she had always worn. He smiled at the comforting pleasure of it, breaking their kiss.
She met his eyes, silently questioning the interruption, and he shook his head to dismiss her concern. He took her face into his hands and brought his mouth to hers, only distantly aware of his cell phone buzzing.
CHAPTER TEN
There was no hesitation in the way Sophie desired Gavin. It wasn’t just the familiarity of him that made her comfortable. There was no one else she had ever been this attracted to. He was handsome and confident, his movements smooth and assured. His masculinity was layered with innate sensuality. It presented itself in the shape of his lips, in the way he carried himself, in the easy way his eyes could convey a flirt. All of this was transported to the stage when he performed and had helped boost Rogue’s popularity as their fan base included a growing number of screaming girls.
The way he leveled his eyes upon her now thrilled her to her core. He looked at her as if he wanted to consume her. And she was willing.
Sliding her fingers into his hair, she playfully tugged his wavy locks and elicited a happy moan from him. The moan he made when she then grasped him over his jeans was of a more tortured nature.
“I’m so fucking happy to see you, darlin’,” he told her in between the kisses he trailed along her neck.
She peeled off her jacket as he pulled the straps of her dress down, revealing her braless breasts. He wound his kisses to her sensitive nipples, taking each one in turn into his mouth hungrily. Her breasts weren’t large but they were nicely shaped and he had always made sure she knew how much he loved them. His sucking and teasing bites made her catch her breath, and he looked up at her.
“Don’t stop,” she told him. And much to her delight, he didn’t.
~
The small antique dresser served their purpose, holding her weight well even as the weathered attached mirror and metal drawer pulls shook to their rhythm. Though he had managed to grab a condom, he only had the patience beyond that to push aside his boxers and her panties. She had her arms around his neck, eyes closed as they kissed. He pulled his mouth away from hers so he could look at her. She leaned back slightly on to her hands. She was pure sex at that moment, giving herself over to the pleasure of their connection. It almost sent him over the edge when she met his eyes. With his fingers to her jaw, he directed her to see in the mirror what he did. Her cheeks were flushed, her mouth slightly open, her eyes bright with desire. Her small nipples were rigid and her breasts rose and fell with his slow thrusts.
“Look at how beautiful you are,” he said.
After a moment of watching herself, she turned back to him and squeezed her legs tighter around his waist, bringing him even deeper inside her.
Afterward, they collapsed breathlessly into bed together. Gavin pulled off his tee shirt and jeans and pressed his body to hers. She still wore her sundress but it was pulled down halfway, leaving her breasts exposed. The passion she had shown him was so intense he continued to feel a relaxed kind of high, his body vibrating from the inside out.
What this it, then? Was she his again? He was too perfectly content to risk hearing a negative answer. Instead, he cupped her breast in his hand and kissed her neck, earlobe, cheek, and lips.
“I don’t want to let you go,” he murmured. He couldn’t help himself.
She placed her hand over his where he had been toying with her nipple. “Then don’t.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
The night passed in a dream-like haze as they alternated between making love, talking about the events they had missed in each other’s lives, and sleeping for brief periods. Neither brought up the real world and whether they would exist together in it. For the time being, their reality was contained in his small room at the Hotel Marmont.
At four in the morning, Gavin charmed room service into providing a random and indulgent assortment of things: French fries, pancakes, and buttermilk fried chicken. They made a picnic out of it on the bed, and as the sun was beginning to rise they ate and talked.
“You remember right before you left we heard a bootleg of ‘Day’s Done’ on the radio?” Gavin asked as he pulled the crispy skin off a chicken leg.
“Yes! Did you ever figure out how that happened? Did they play you again?”
Gavin smiled at her excitement. It was as if the band was still hoping for their big break and Sophie thought this could be it. She was right back in the moment.
“Well, Conor and I went down to the radio station, is what we did.”
They had waited for over two hours to see the program director with the demo they made during their trip to Belfast. The purpose of the trip to Belfast had been twofold: to play a gig; and to use recording equipment Martin’s girlfriend had access to. Her brother-in-law worked at a recording studio and let them in for a middle-of-the night session, completely off the books. The result wasn’t as polished as they would have liked, but it was better than the live version they had been surprised to hear on the radio.
Finally, they were let into radio program director’s office but before they even made their pitch, they were shot down.
“Can’t do it, boys,” Terry Calhoun started. He was middle-aged and balding in a peculiar pattern that left a thick circular patch at his forehead and thinning elsewhere. He spoke with a casual, yet matter-of-fact, tone while leaning back in his chair and resting his thick hands on his belly. “You’re not signed, have no record deal. We don’t play unsigned bands. Sorry you had to wait all this time to hear it.”
“But, your station played our song on Friday,” Gavin told him. “That was a bootleg from one of our gigs. I have a demo here that sounds a lot better.”
“Don’t bother,” Calhoun said as Gavin held the CD out to him. “There’s no negotiating this one, boys. If you were played, it was a very big mistake and I’ll see to it that it doesn’t happen again. Come back when you’ve at least signed with someone.”
“Just take the demo—listen to it yourself,” Conor suggested. “We’ve four fantastic, original songs there. You’ll find we know what we’re doing.”
Calhoun hesitated and Gavin thought he was going to reach his hand out to ta
ke the tape. Instead, he said, “You know you’re only one of dozens of U2 wannabes out there, right?”
“We’re not trying to be them,” Gavin insisted. “We’ve got our own sound, and we don’t go on about religion and politics. I’m about the songwriting, about exploring the beauty and cruelty of the heart—”
“Look, I admire your determination and it may just get you somewhere. But this isn’t how it works. Get a manager, get a record deal. Now, go on and show yourselves out.” Calhoun leaned forward and turned his attention to the paperwork on his desk, ignoring them.
“Bastard,” Gavin mumbled as they walked down the hall from Calhoun’s office.
“Get used to it, Gav. We’ve probably got a lot of that in store for us,” Conor told him. “We keep at it, is all.”
“I’ll tell you one thing, I’m never going to get used to it. Takes the piss right out of you—” He stopped short when he ran into a man coming around a corner of the corridor.
“Sorry, mate. You all right?” the man asked.
“Aye, I know that voice. You’re Sean Reynolds, right? You’re the one who played our song on Friday,” Gavin said, grabbing him by the arm.
The man looked down at Gavin’s hand. “Should I know you, then?”
Gavin released him. “Sorry about that. Yeah, you should know us now anyway. I’m Gavin McManus, and this is Conor Quinn. We’re in the band Rogue. You played a bootleg version of our song ‘Day’s Done’ on Friday afternoon. You said we sounded great live.”
“Jesus, I had no idea you were kids. How old are you boys, anyway?” Sean Reynolds asked.
“Doesn’t really matter, does it?” Conor asked. “Look, we’re just here because we have a demo. Will you play it?”
“I’ll listen to it. Whether I can or will play it is another story.”
“You’ll play it—once you hear us, you’ll play it,” Gavin said.
Sean laughed. “Well, sounds like you have confidence on your side. Come to my broom closet of an office for a minute and give me your information. If you’re as good as you say, I’ll want to be able to one day claim to have discovered you.”
“And has he ever laid claim to us,” Gavin told Sophie. “When we hooked up with James—our manager—and got signed, Sean Reynolds was the one to make the biggest stink out of our album. He’s fucking obsessed with trying to say he discovered us. Of course, it isn’t true. He never did play us before we got signed. Still, he’s our biggest fan to this day.”
“As long as it works in your favor, right?” she said. She dipped a French fry in Ranch dressing before taking a bite.
She wore nothing but the white bathrobe provided by the hotel. Her hair was tousled and her makeup was smudged. He had never seen a sexier woman in his life. The look in his eye must have given him away as she returned his gaze with her own open desire.
He leaned toward her and the trays of food slid to the center of the bed. Rather than take the time to clear it away, he took her hand and pulled her with him to the aqua-tiled bathroom. As she watched, he adjusted the hot and cold tub faucets to get the right temperature.
Sophie opened the mirrored medicine cabinet and found a bottle of Kiehl’s bath and shower gel. She poured a stream of it into the water and bubbles quickly multiplied.
“Bring the shampoo,” he told her. “I got you dirty. Time to clean you up.”
She smiled and did as he said.
The tub was small but they fitted themselves together, her back to his front. With inordinate care, he wet her hair with a washcloth and proceeded to lather it with the shampoo. Ensuring that no soap got into her eyes, he rinsed her hair and then conditioned it as well. He massaged her scalp and the base of her neck as he went.
“This is another first,” she said, leaning back into him when he was done.
“What’s that, darlin’?”
“Having my hair washed that way. That felt so nice.”
He wrapped his arm around her and gave her a squeeze. “It all feels so fucking good, being with you again.”
She looked back at him with a smile and he leaned forward to kiss her.
“What did you mean by ‘another’ first?” he asked as he trailed a soapy washcloth over her belly between her breasts.
“Just, you know, because you’re my first. And only.”
That took a moment to register in his sleep-deprived mind. When he looked at her, she averted her eyes. He touched her chin to turn her face up to his.
“Really?”
She nodded and he couldn’t hide his confusion.
“What?”
“I just, em, I don’t understand how you couldn’t have been with anyone else. You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”
“Well, it’s not because no one wanted me!” she said and he laughed. “I just never found the right connection.”
“Interesting.” He had been her first. It had taken ages for her to go all the way with him, but he still remembered well the way she had undressed herself for him without any first-time nervousness. The thought that no one else had touched her with this kind of intimacy was enormously satisfying to his male ego. And though he didn’t say it out loud, he was overcome with the desire to be not just her first but her last.
CHAPTER TWELVE
It was after ten o’clock when a repetitive knock at the door woke them. Tangled together in bed, they were slow to respond.
“Gavin, get your arse up. We need to get going.”
Sophie recognized Conor’s voice behind the door. The steady knock continued and it didn’t appear that Conor had any intention of stopping until he got an answer.
“Leave it!” Gavin called.
“Let me in, ya fucker. What’d you get so busy chasing skirt last night, you forgot us lads?”
“Go ahead,” Sophie said quietly. She slipped on the hotel robe and went into the bathroom.
Gavin pulled on his boxer briefs and went to the door, opening it three inches.
Conor was impeccably groomed as usual. His short black hair was styled into a fauxhawk and his face was cleanly shaven. He wore dark jeans, folded precisely at the cuff two times, and a soft gray cotton tee shirt that clung to his muscled chest.
“It’s early yet, isn’t it?” Gavin asked.
“It’s half bloody ten. We’re meant to be in the car on the way to the venue at eleven.”
“I didn’t realize the time.”
“She that good?” Conor looked over Gavin’s shoulder in an effort to see who had been keeping his friend so busy.
“Better than you can even imagine,” Gavin said with a grin.
“Congratulations. Now, let’s fucking go.”
“I’ll meet you down in the lobby.”
“Don’t keep us waiting.” Conor put on his sunglasses and headed down the hall.
Sophie emerged from the bathroom as Gavin closed the door. She had heard the exchange and knew it meant their time was over. What a night it had been, though. It had been a delicious tease of what a real reunion might be like. They had amazing chemistry, of course, but the familiarity that came with knowing and understanding each other was even more exciting. There was an ache in her chest now that they had to say goodbye all over again.
“Good, you’re dressed,” he said. “Looks like we need to be down in the lobby in less than a half hour.”
“I heard. I know you have to go.”
“We need to go, darlin’. You’re coming with us. With me. Right?”
She knew that to spend the day with him was only prolonging the inevitable. He would soon be moving on to the next city.
“Yeah, sure. I have VIP tickets, anyway, don’t I?” she said, casting aside her better judgment. And he smiled.
~
Sophie knew this wasn’t the best way to ingratiate herself with the other boys of Rogue all over again. Though she had done what she could to clean herself up, it would be obvious she had spent the night with Gavin. Her unbrushed hair was tied into a messy bun. Her m
akeup was mostly gone, leaving her with only the lip gloss from her purse. And she wore no panties beneath her sundress, though no one but Gavin was privy to that.
Gavin led the way, holding her hand as she trailed behind him into the lobby. The large space had high ceilings with dark wood beams, arched entryways, and elegant Mission Oak furniture. There was a buzz of activity as other guests organized their excursions for the day. A couple, decked out in matching denim shorts and tank tops, scanned the room in a transparent celebrity sighting effort but they looked right past Gavin.
Conor saw his friend straightaway. “Let’s go, lover boy,” he called.
Sophie placed her other hand on Gavin’s forearm and came into Conor’s view. She saw his look of surprise and then a mixture of other emotions flashed over his face. A sweet smile faded into what she had seen at the Palladium: lust. Then frustration took over.
She had to blink to clear all that away. It was a lot to take in when she was already apprehensive about seeing them all.
“Isn’t this brilliant?” Gavin asked as they got to Conor. “She came round last night to see me before the show today.”
Conor raised his eyebrows and stared at her for a beat too long. “Good to see you again, Soph.”
“You too!” She gave him a quick hug.
“Em, and you’re coming with us, then?”
She looked to Gavin with renewed hesitation.
“Yes, she is,” Gavin said with a note of finality in his voice.
Conor turned and started out to the hotel driveway, mumbling “fuck me” under his breath.
“Is this a bad idea?” Sophie said. “I don’t want to interfere.”
“It’s fine, darlin’. Relax.”
She nodded and followed him to the black Suburban idling at the curb. Conor disappeared inside and Gavin gestured for her to follow.
Gavin slid in after her, sitting to her right while Conor was on her left. Martin and Shay were in the third row. Gavin made the introduction to their manager, James Kelly, who sat in the front passenger seat opposite their driver for the day.
Tangled Up In You: A Rogue Series Novel Page 5
