by Jodie Larson
With nothing but the sound of his breaths in my ear, I succumb to sleep.
When I wake in the morning, my arms are greeted to the empty space next to me. The fog slowly lifts from my brain when I realize Myles isn’t there. Sitting up quickly, I look around the strange surroundings. My sense of time has been off for weeks. Jumping around the time zones will do that to a person. Judging by the light coming in through the sliding glass door, I’d say it’s mid-morning. Which means I slept a full twelve hours. I can’t remember the last time I’d slept that long. Obviously my body needed the break.
Flopping back down, I snuggle up to Myles’ pillow, inhaling his scent that still lingers on the linen. Residual cologne mixed with his shampoo, my two favorite things. The pillow isn’t a good substitute for the real thing. I’d rather smell it right from the source.
A paper crinkles beneath my fingertips, shoved under the pillow. I grab the paper and lay back, bringing it to the light so I can read it.
Tay,
Had to go into the office. Business stuff. Very boring. I’d rather stay in bed with you. I don’t know how long it’s going to take, so feel free to roam around. There’s a spare key next to the whiskey bottles in the cabinet. Just lock up if you head out.
Be back soon, Sleeping Beauty. Although my ears are thankful not to listen to your snoring anymore.
Miss you,
Myles
Snore? I do not snore. As if he’s one to talk. He puts most truckers to shame. But that’s Myles being Myles. A whole day off with nothing to do? Hmm, new territory for me. What does one do with their free time?
I know. That whirlpool bath is calling my name. Jumping out of bed, I rummage through my suitcase and find the small paper bag buried at the bottom. I had called Adrienne at the last city we stopped in and she told me to find this beauty shop called Lush and to find something called a Bath Bomb. When I walked into the store, I never wanted to leave. There were so many choices, all of them sporting the most heavenly scents. Adrienne told me to try one first, then I can feed my addiction when I get off the tour and can enjoy them more.
When the tub is just right, I toss the multi-colored orb in and watch as it dissolves into each individual color. I climb inside, letting the water coat everything below my neck. My muscles loosen instantly, bringing my shoulders down from their scrunched up position. This is exactly what I needed. The only thing that would make it better is if I had a glass of wine and a book.
Next time.
Sipping my coffee, I settle into one of the plush chairs occupying the balcony. The wind is light, barely carrying the noise of the city as I stare off into the blue of the ocean. Several boats pop their sails, probably going off on an adventure. I can see why Myles picked this place. It’s quiet and peaceful, the perfect setting to wind down, especially in this industry.
I’m such a fool, wasting all that time apart now that the end is near. Obviously there’s still chemistry between us. And I’m sure he’s forgiven me by now. It was a big step for him to invite me into his space, going where no other girl has gone before. Or maybe he’s just being polite? Or he doesn’t want me to room with Brecken. I wonder why he’s always on his ass about everything. The guys all harass each other equally, but there’s something different going on with those two. It’s like they’re constantly looking for a fight. There must be more to the story, something I’m missing.
I walk back inside to rinse out my cup. Time to explore and see how much he’s changed. I pick through his DVD collection. Nothing surprising there. All horror and stupid action movies. If I see one more case featuring Jean-Claude Van Damme on this shelf, I’m throwing the whole thing on the floor.
The more I snoop around, the more I realize he doesn’t have many personal artifacts. No pictures of back home, no mementos of his previous life. How often does he stay here? It’s almost like it’s a rental instead of a home.
I will say this; he keeps it very clean, which is a change from when we lived together. He always had piles of clothes lying around our room, dirty dishes in the sink, or stacks of papers on whatever table was within arm’s reach. At the time, it didn’t bother us. We were so caught up doing other things, we barely noticed unless his mom was making a visit to check on us. Then it was a mad dash to shove everything into a closet. She never caught on until she found a frying pan in the shower.
Continuing my quest to find out more about Myles, I open each door and dig through all the drawers I can find. Nothing. Either he has no life – which I highly doubt – or he doesn’t actually live here. Maybe he’s assumed the identity of another person, slowly integrating into his life just to see how he lives.
Or maybe not.
“Forget it,” I mumble, shoving a box back onto the shelf in his closet. One of his shirts falls off a hanger, so I bend down to retrieve it. Before I stand up, something catches my eye. A small box tucked behind some shoes lined up on the floor. Why wouldn’t he have it on the shelf with the others?
Curiosity getting the best of me, I cross my legs and lean against the wall, opening the box as if something dangerous was going to jump out at me. I gasp, bringing my hand to cover my mouth.
I was wrong. He did keep mementos of his previous life. He’s just shoved them into a box on the floor of his closet. Most people do this metaphorically. Leave it to Myles to do it literally. I pull out a picture lying on top. Senior prom. A great night out with our friends. Kade looks bored, probably because he had to take Jenny Hoffman as a favor to his mother. Pax and Breck went stag, though they didn’t stay lonely for long. If I recall, they both left early with a girl on their arms.
We look so young and happy. Like we had no cares in the world. Which we didn’t. Our life was simple. Nothing else mattered when we were together. My mom thought it wasn’t healthy for us to spend that much time together, but she had already left my dad and wasn’t around to police me. My dad, unfortunately, fell into a depression and told me to go be happy. When Myles’ mom offered to let me stay with them after graduation, I jumped at the chance. Family was my life until it fell apart. Luckily, Mr. And Mrs. Donovan took pity on me. I’d check on my dad every week to make sure he was at least eating. Most nights he’d come home from work and stare at the TV with a bottle of whiskey at his side. He just wanted my mom back. I couldn’t give him that, so it was easier to stay away.
Setting the picture down, I dig through the rest of the box. Mostly random things: pins from baseball, miscellaneous guitar picks, folded pieces of paper. I unfold one and read the ever familiar words written down.
He kept it, after all this time. It wasn’t anything special, something two young teens did when they were in love.
It was a contract, a promise to always be together no matter what. That we’d love and support one another through everything. No running or being afraid. We’d face things together, as a team. At the bottom were our signatures and the date, our graduation night. This was pinned to the wall in our room so we’d always see it. Even when we’d fight, we’d come back and read the paper and work it out.
A tear runs down my cheek. I broke our promise. I ran the first chance I got when things got scary. We were supposed to work it out, but I bailed, thinking I was sparing him the pain. All I did was hurt both of us. Wasted time we’ll never get back.
At the bottom of the box, there’s a small frame turned upside-down. I flip it over and see a picture of the two of us, taken right before I left. We were goofing around in the garage with the guys then Myles grabbed me and we started kissing. It was candid and silly, especially since Myles was practically bending me in half. Even though our faces were glued together, you could still see our smiles. It was something so natural, like we were going to do it forever.
“What are you doing?” I gasp at his quiet voice, startling me as the box falls from my hands. All his precious memories spill and scatter across the floor. Moving quickly, I crawl around and gather everything together. Myles drops down next to me and helps pick up the mess I
created.
“I’m sorry.” It’s like my fingers won’t work, fumbling and refusing to put the items back in the box. Maybe they don’t want to be forgotten anymore.
“Snoop much? Not exactly what I meant by making yourself at home.” Shit, he’s upset. I should have known better, but I just couldn’t help myself. He picks up the frame and a ghost of a smile appears. “Remember that day?”
With careful eyes, I look at him. “We just finished recording the first song on your demo tape. It was shitty since we were in the garage, but we were so proud.”
“I came up from behind and wrapped you in my arms.” Myles moves closer, all traces of irritation gone.
“Scared the crap out of me because you were over on the other side of the room. Next thing I knew, you were bending me over and kissing me.”
Our knees touch. I focus my attention on this little contact. It’s easier than focusing on his face and what I may or may not see.
Myles guides my chin up with his finger, forcing me to look at him. “It was a good day. We had a lot to celebrate.”
“You did.”
“Why do you say that?”
The paper still in my hands crinkles. “I knew I wasn’t going to go with you. My mind was already made up.”
“Tay.” Pain lances my heart as Myles holds my hands in his. “Let’s not talk about that now.” We shove everything into the box and I put it back where I found it. Slowly standing, I lean against the wall for support. “Want to get something to eat?”
The rumbling noise from my stomach answers his question. “Appears I would.”
We walk outside, the midday sun warming my skin instantly. The neighborhood he lives in is quieter than I expected. Of course, I was thinking downtown L.A. with cars and people everywhere. I can still hear the ocean waves lapping against the sand in the distance as we walk down the street. Myles looks right at home with his board shorts and gray t-shirt. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him wear sandals in my life, but I guess there’s a first time for everything.
He smiles at me behind his aviator sunglasses, reflecting my face back to me. “What are you hungry for? They have almost everything down this way: sushi, tacos, Chinese, pizza?”
Our joined hands swing between us. “What’s your favorite place?”
Myles turns his baseball hat around, casting a shadow over his face. “There’s a small little place down the street I go to. Very quiet, good food. Lots of variety.”
“Do they have fries?” He nods. “Then that’s all I need to know. Lead the way.”
Ten minutes later we’re seated in a secluded corner of this cute little restaurant. It’s cozy with very few tables inside. It can’t be much bigger than Kade’s old garage back home. But each table has clean linen, fresh flowers and a candle in the center.
The waitress hands me a menu, though she took her sweet time handing one to Myles. She lingers after, trying to get his attention by fluffing her hair or clearing her throat.
“Anything to drink?” She doesn’t even look my way. Normally it would bother me, but when Myles reaches across the table to grab my hand, the irritation floats away.
“Water for now. Babe?” Finally, the waitress acknowledges my existence, frowning as she turns to me.
“Water’s good.”
Little-Miss-Priss tells us the specials before disappearing behind the kitchen doors. Glancing over the menu, my stomach rumbles again.
“Did you eat anything today? You sound like you’re starving.”
I shake my head. “Just coffee. I had a busy morning.”
“Of snooping?” There’s a sideways grin so I know he’s just playing with me.
“And swimming in your gigantic tub. Had to use that bomb thingy Adrienne told me about.”
Myles pulls my chair around the table so I’m sitting next to him, rather than across. It screeches so loud, everyone turns to see what’s going on. My cheeks flame as he leans over and sniffs my shoulder, moving the tank strap to expose more skin. “Mmm, I approve.”
How can he do that? Turning me on with such a simple move in an extremely public place? I think I like this bolder version of him. He’d never do that before.
Needing to put the focus where it should be, I start pointing at things on the menu. “So many choices. What’s good?”
Undeterred, Myles leans over. “Everything.” Goosebumps cover my skin as he whispers low in my ear. “Anything catching your eye?”
When I glance over, he’s tugging on his bottom lip with his teeth. Shadows still play on his face because he refuses to take off his hat, which I understand. Celebrity in the wild equals no privacy. My insides get all tingly and the hunger I have is not one for food…but for him.
“Possibly.”
He gives me a slow smirk before looking me up and down, stripping me bare without ever laying a hand on me.
Without warning, he pulls my chair even closer, leaving no space between us as the waitress brings our waters. The perma-scowl is back on her face as she sets my glass down with a little more oomph than needed. She’s damn lucky nothing sloshed over the edge.
“What can I get you?” All the lightness of her voice is gone as she looks at me expectantly. Shit. I barely looked at the menu because Myles was distracting me with his sexiness. If I keep her waiting, it’ll allow her more time to ogle him, which I’m not about to give her the pleasure of doing. Myles beats me to the punch when he answers her.
“She’s going to have the meatloaf with the mashed potatoes. Instead of the green beans, could you check to see if we can substitute steamed broccoli and cauliflower instead? She prefers those. Oh, and would it be possible to get some barbecue sauce and fried onions on the side?”
This man is utterly amazing. Nothing is hotter than when a guy orders for his date, especially if it’s something she loves. He even knew what I hated and asked for something else.
I smile because I can’t help myself. Satisfied, I hand the menu to the unhappy waitress because she’s figured it out too. He’s off the market.
Myles winks at me. “I’m going to have the same thing. It sounds delicious.” The waitress huffs off, leaving us to laugh behind her back.
“I think you just crushed her hopes and dreams for the rest of her life,” I say once the laughter dies down.
“Nah, she’ll get over it. It was crush at first sight.”
“Look at you, being all…adult and stuff. From the stories I’ve heard, you would have jumped all over that in a heartbeat.”
The smile dips slightly on his face. Stupid. I shouldn’t have brought that up. We’re past that now, leaving it dead and buried. At least, it was until my mouth diarrhea got the best of me.
“Yeah, I guess.” The levity in his voice is gone. I need to put it back.
“Me too. I missed college, so maybe I should try that whole experimenting thing now before I’m too old to do it.”
A new spark comes to life in his eyes. “Experimenting? Really? Like, how serious are you? Because I could make a few calls…”
“Myles Robert Donovan!”
“Whoa, haven’t heard that in a while.” I smack his shoulder. “Geez, back off. Okay, I won’t make those calls.” He leans in close as if divulging a secret. “We’ll just pick someone up on the way home. It’ll be like grocery shopping, except for pussy.”
Once, twice…nope, three more whacks to the shoulder. “Pig.”
He surprises me by framing my face with his hands and kissing me so deeply I can feel it down to my toes. “Like I would ever share you, even if it’s with another woman.”
I practically melt in his hands. “Really?”
Leaning his forehead against mine, we share the same air as his lips brush mine. “Really.”
This is it. The point of no return. I knew before I saw him again that my feelings wouldn’t change. That I would still love him like before. Time has the power to heal or break. I was certain the latter would win. In this moment, I’m hopeful for the first
outcome. And beyond all reason, I dare to hope that maybe this will all work out.
“Are you listening?” Linda asks me from across the table.
“Huh?”
I’ve been stuck in meeting after meeting for the last three hours, but all I can think about is Tatum, naked in my bed, just how I left her. The past two days have been nothing short of amazing. Like riding a bike; once we got on, we knew exactly what to do. The anger inside me is barely a burning ember. One swift breeze and it’ll be gone, vanished into thin air.
Don sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Look, man, I know you’re preoccupied, but when you’re here, I need you to focus. Linda asked if you could have the new songs ready by the end of the month.”
New songs? “Um, sure. I guess.” What in the hell are they talking about? Wait, they don’t mean…? “Those songs aren’t mine though. They’re Tatum’s.”
“Yeah, about that,” Don says, folding his hands on top of the table. He’s all business, which is never good. The reason he works well with us is because he’s loose and carefree. When shit goes south, that’s when the businessman comes out.
“What?” I look between him and Linda, trying to see what they’re thinking.
Linda just shakes her head. “A delicate issue has been raised that needs our attention.”
My knuckles pop as I squeeze my hands into tight fists. “Someone better fucking say it.”
Don sighs. “You have an image to uphold. And with Tatum around, she’s tanking it. Not to mention how distracted you are. I mean, we’ve been talking about aliens invading and Pax giving birth for the past ten minutes and all you’ve done is nod your head and agree.”
Seriously? “I just figured Pax was finally coming clean about his true sexuality.”
“Myles, we can’t have it. Tatum is amazing, but we need you here, not with her,” Linda says with little emotion.
“What about Kade?” I say, pointing at the door. “He’s always distracted. Adrienne sometimes joins us on tour. And, when she’s not with him, he’s on the phone with her and disappears for God knows how long. Why am I being singled out?”
