“What type of stupid question is that?” Paige wanted to yell, but instead she asked, “Why didn’t you tell me you’re a minister?”
“You were too busy condemning me to ask and too self-absorbed to care,” he answered in that no-nonsense tone she hated. “Now, stop talking in church before you say something crazy.”
The blows his words carried were becoming harder to withstand. From a few conversations with the man, she’d gained a deeper understanding of the phrase “the truth hurts.” She didn’t like the truths he brought to light, and she wondered how she’d fallen into such darkness in the first place. “I thought we got past that?” she said.
“No, we just moved on,” he said, resting his arm on the back of her chair. “We can talk about that later, but just know I have forgiven you.”
She abruptly turned her attention to the platform to hide how much those four words meant to her. She’d give anything to feel forgiven for the moral crime she’d committed. Knowing theology was one thing, but believing it was another. She’d read Romans chapter ten, verse nine, so many times, she knew the exact number of letters the salvation scripture contained. Salvation she could comprehend, but forgiveness remained beyond her reach.
I’m wrong again, she thought when Pastor Reggie took the podium. He wasn’t wearing jeans and a hoodie, but a black cassock. “Is he related to you also?” she asked, since Pastor Reggie didn’t resemble the Simones.
“He’s my uncle. His wife and my father are siblings.”
“Oh,” she mouthed and directed her attention to Pastor Julia, who was sitting on the dais, and wondered why she didn’t use the traditional first lady title.
Pastor Reggie opened his Bible and began preaching. His teaching-style preaching resembled Pastor Drake’s, and Paige liked that. Both had the ability to break the Word down, and both provide practical examples of its application. Pastor Reggie closed his sermon by sharing his personal testimony of forgiveness. He shared how his past sins had caused him to lose seventeen years of his son’s life. He found peace and moved forward only after he learned to forgive himself. Only then did God restore what he’d lost and add more.
“Why can’t that happen for me?” Paige wanted to scream, but instead she lowered her head in her hands and cried. The tears were slow until Sergio-Xavier stuffed his handkerchief into her hands. She expected him to say something humiliating, but he didn’t. His firm hand squeezing her shoulder and pulling her to him surprised her, but she didn’t resist. At that moment she needed comfort and the prayer he whispered in her ear. The soft strokes on the head were nice too.
He waited until she had regained composure before asking, “Are you all right?”
She didn’t want to lie in church, so she answered, “I’m better,” and then sat up but didn’t face him. He didn’t pressure her, but his arm rested around her shoulder until the benediction.
After the service was over, he turned to her and whispered, “Come on. I’ll walk you to your car.” He gripped Paige’s arm in hopes of steering her out of the sanctuary before they were bombarded with questions. Normally, he wouldn’t mind this family’s curiosity, but Paige was too vulnerable at the moment. He sensed the earlier emotional breakdown was minor compared to the release she needed. Her tight shoulder muscles exposed her heavy burden more than the tears, but it wasn’t his place to pry about the source. Their broker-client relationship didn’t give him that right.
“Thank you,” she answered, fiddling with her purse strap.
Sergio-Xavier’s plan failed—they were ambushed the second they stepped into the aisle. “Oh no,” he groaned.
“Hello. I’m Staci,” said a woman with curly hair.
Another woman, with hazel eyes and honey-blond hair, stepped in front of Sergio-Xavier. “And I’m Lashay.”
Both women held babies in their arms, but that didn’t interrupt their mission. They peppered Paige with questions.
“What’s your name?”
“Where are you from?”
“How did you guys meet?”
“How long have you been dating?”
“Slow your roll,” Sergio-Xavier said, holding up the universal time-out sign.
“Not until you introduce us to your girlfriend.” The one with curly hair smirked.
Knowing the interrogation would only intensify if he didn’t give the women what they wanted, without correcting their assumption that Paige was his girl, Sergio-Xavier placed his hand on Paige’s back and made the formal introductions.
“This is my real estate broker, Paige McDaniels.” He turned to Paige, whose eyes were glossy. “These are my nosy, pesky cousins. Staci is Marcus’s little sister, and Lashay is my aunt Julia’s daughter.”
“Hi, Paige,” the women said in unison.
Lashay switched her baby from one arm to the other. “So how long have you two been dating?”
“We’re not dating,” Paige answered, too quickly and with too much conviction for him. “I’m helping him look for property, that’s all.”
The women exchanged glances. “Uh-huh,” they chorused.
“So what attracted you to my cousin?” Staci asked, pushing.
“Well, actually—,” Paige began but didn’t get to finish.
“I hope you enjoyed the service,” Shannon said, squeezing in between the cousins. “I was confused also the first time I stepped into a church. Keep coming. You’ll get the hang of it.”
“This is not my first time at a church service. I have a church home,” Paige answered without conveying how much she was involved in the church.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Shannon replied, apologizing. “By the way you were checking things out during the first part of service, I thought this was your first time.”
Sergio-Xavier cleared his throat to keep from laughing at Shannon’s assessment of Paige.
“So did I,” Staci added.
Paige’s arm trembled underneath his fingertips. Sergio-Xavier had to get her out of there before another emotional breakdown occurred. “Excuse me, ladies,” he said, butting in, “but I know for a fact each of you has a husband and at least two kids. Go mind their business and stay out of mine for once. We have to go.”
“Don’t get beat down in church,” Staci warned.
With her free hand, Lashay pinched his arm. “Wasn’t nobody talking to you.”
“Whatever. You’re still nosy. Always have been and always will be,” he shot back.
Lashay ignored his attitude. “Yeah, I love you too, cuz,” she said and then directed her attention to Paige. “I don’t know how you deal with him.”
“It was nice meeting you, Paige.” Shannon extended her hand. “We’ll chat next time, and I’ll have Marcus autograph a CD for you.”
Paige blushed. “Thank you so much.”
Sergio-Xavier’s chest muscles constricted, but he refused to acknowledge that Paige’s excitement over another man bothered him, even if it was his cousin. “Love you, guys,” he said, addressing his family collectively, then led Paige out of the sanctuary.
The walk back to the car was totally different. Paige didn’t stare at the congregants, and she didn’t walk fast. She didn’t talk, either. On this journey Paige held her head down, and her steps were slow and gingerly. Her slight tremors were probably undetected by the throngs of people, but Sergio-Xavier’s trained eye saw them. When they arrived at her car, instead of unlocking the door, Paige stood there, looking lost. Her pain pulled his heartstrings, and his protective instincts took over.
“Come with me,” he ordered. “I have something to show you.” He expected resistance, and when Paige didn’t offer any, he unlocked his car and opened the passenger door.
“Where are we going?” she asked once they were both settled inside his car.
“It’s a surprise, but trust me, you’ll like it.”
Her lips remained sealed, but her eyes spoke volumes to him. She was tired and scared.
“Sure,” she whispered finally and then leane
d back against the headrest and closed her eyes.
Sergio-Xavier pulled out of the parking lot without a destination, but he was determined to make Paige feel better. He didn’t know her likes and dislikes, her hobbies, or how much time she had. What he did know was that he was more involved in Paige’s life than he wanted to be.
“We’re here,” he announced forty minutes later, after pulling into the parking lot of his favorite restaurant in Pacifica.
For the first time since entering the vehicle, Paige sat forward and took in her surroundings. “Where are we?” She nodded when he told her the restaurant’s name and location. “I’ve heard good things about this place. I’d planned on coming here one day when . . .” She didn’t finish the thought.
“I love this place. I come here often to clear my head, as well as for the food. The view of the ocean and the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks are very calming.”
“Wow,” she said after stepping from the car. “The view of the bay is beautiful from here. I can’t tell where the sky begins and the ocean ends.” The five-star restaurant, which sat on the beach, had both indoor and outdoor seating.
“If it’s too cool for you, we can get a table inside,” he offered.
She turned and faced the beach. “Out here is fine.”
After securing a table facing the beach and perusing the menu, the two sat in silence, watching the waves roll in, until a waiter came to take their order.
“I see you’re staying away from those prawns?” he said in reference to the sea scallops she’d ordered.
“I love them, but I’ll probably never eat one again.”
He finally got a half smile from her. “Tell me what else you enjoy besides prawns, church, mentoring, and real estate.”
Her confused expression said she didn’t understand the question. “What else is there? By the time I finish with all of that, there isn’t time for anything else.”
“Wow. Your schedule is packed more than mine,” he commented after she ran down her weekly schedule. “What do you for fun?”
“Life is not about fun, at least not for me,” she began, then cleared her throat. “At least not at this time. Life is about serving and giving to others. I have to work out my salvation.”
He didn’t agree with the statement but refrained from saying anything that might start a disagreement. “When do you relax, or do you?”
Her despair seeped out in dry laughter. “I don’t know what that means anymore. Honestly, I don’t know who I am anymore. Three weeks ago I thought I knew myself and my purpose, but then I met you. In that short period of time you have made me question my ability to make sound decisions.” She waited until the waiter finished placing their drinks and warm sourdough rolls on the table before continuing. “I did enjoy service today. It was nothing like the fabrication I’d manufactured in my head. Pastor Pennington is a very solid teacher. I learned a lot about you today.” She took a sip of iced tea. “Are your cousins always in your business?”
He grinned. “Of course, and honestly, I don’t mind one bit. My male cousins and I did the exact same thing and worse to every one of their boyfriends. My family is very close and harmless. That is, until you hurt one of us.”
She raised her glass to him. “I’ll be sure not to do that. Why did they assume I was your girl?”
He buttered a roll and set it on her plate. “Probably because I introduced you as my guest. I’ve never had a female guest before, and I normally sit on the dais with the other ministers. Oh, and everyone is waiting for me to marry and have children.” He couldn’t be sure, but he thought he saw a flash of pain in her eyes. “What about you? Tell me about your family. Do you plan to slow down long enough to marry and raise a family?”
It was pain he’d seen, only now it was more intense, causing her eyes to blink rapidly. “I’m the middle child of three, and the only one without a spouse or significant other and children. As screwed up as I am, my eggs will probably dry up before the Lord sends someone my way.”
She raised an eyebrow, as if waiting for him to say something to confirm her prediction, but Sergio-Xavier didn’t bite. His goal was to make her feel better, not join her pity party.
“Oh,” she said, as if suddenly remembering something. “Why did you sit next to me, instead of on the dais?”
Perfect timing, he thought when the waiter delivered her salad and his soup. Revealing to Paige that he’d sat beside her because he’d felt a divine unction that she would need him wasn’t something he wanted to do.
“Ooh, this is so good, and just what I need to clean all that grease you fed me yesterday out of my system,” she said of the spinach, dried cranberry, candied pecan, and feta cheese salad.
“Go ahead and blame me for clogging your arteries. At least you’re smiling again,” he said while adding cracked pepper to his clam chowder.
She offered him a full smile, but no words. They enjoyed the rest of the meal in a comfortable silence. The rhythmic sounds of the ocean filled the space with peace.
“I can’t remember the last time I’ve been to a beach or walked in sand,” Paige said, leaning back in the chair after savoring the last bite of cinnamon crème brûlée. “It’s been at least five years.” She looked contemplative. “I’ll have to write it into my schedule.”
He thought the idea absurd. “Why wait? I have time if you do. We can walk on the beach now.”
“No, we can’t.” She kicked her foot out and pointed at the heeled boot. “Leather boots aren’t made for sand, and neither are tailored suits and alligator shoes,” she said, noting his attire.
He pushed the chair back and bent over. “Don’t get deep on me now. Take off your boots. We can walk barefoot.” Within seconds the alligator shoes were off, his socks tucked inside, and the tailored pant legs were rolled up.
“I see you’ve done this before,” she said but still made no effort to join him.
“Sometimes I come here after a hard case and just walk for hours. Then, there are times I come to pray and mediate.”
“Maybe next time,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m not prepared today. I need a pedicure first and the right outfit and . . .”
“I figured this would shut you up,” he said when she stopped talking after he lifted her left leg into his lap and unzipped her boot. “Relax and enjoy the moment. God placed this beauty here for us to enjoy.”
“I know, but—”
“No buts. Just enjoy.” He took more time than he should have removing her nylon socks, but he liked the feel of her soft skin and the contours of her muscles.
“Don’t be trying to feel me up,” she warned when his hands lingered.
“If I did try, I’d get lost in all this material.” He laughed. “If you want to go sailing later, we can use your skirt as a sail.”
She kicked his leg and then stood up. “Forget you.”
He smirked. “I doubt that’s possible. Wait here,” he said, collecting their shoes and suit jackets. “I’ll put these in the car, and then we’ll walk.”
“It’s not like I have a choice.”
Sergio-Xavier considered pointing out the obvious but recognized the self-preservation tactic and continued on to his vehicle. When he returned, the table was empty. Paige had started down the beach.
For a moment, Sergio-Xavier stood watching her hold her skirt up as she gingerly stepped in the sand. The sun glistened against her ebony skin, giving her calves a glow. Even on the beach, her body language was tense. Something was driving her to “work out her salvation,” as she put it, but Sergio-Xavier wasn’t sure he wanted to dig deep enough to learn what that was.
“Having fun yet?” he asked once he caught up with her.
“Maybe.”
Her smile said what her mouth would not. She was having fun, all right, but she would never give him the satisfaction of knowing he’d given her any joy. Her arm interlocked with his, but he doubted she realized the two resembled a couple.
“How
do you manage being a minister and a doctor and remaining so normal?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know what you call normal, but I handle my vocation and my profession by keeping my role in perspective.”
She stopped walking and looked up. “What do you mean?”
“My role is the same with both. I am not a healer or a savior. I am just one of the many vessels He uses to fulfill His plans. I have to totally rely on Him to do anything. I pray before I exam every patient, and I pray for everyone I counsel spiritually. I try to do only the things He tells me to and to refrain from things that are not His will. Do I always get it right? No, but that’s where the blood of Jesus comes in.”
Her eyes glossed over before she turned toward the ocean. She maintained that position the remainder of the walk, without talking. Sergio-Xavier didn’t talk, either; he spent the mile walk in silent prayer for Paige.
Chapter 13
Blue streaks had already begun to break through the dark sky when Paige placed her coffee cup in the dish rack to dry on Monday morning. Normally by this time she’d be waiting in the drive-through line at Starbucks, but today she’d decided to enjoy an extra half hour of relaxation before starting her hectic week. Instead of racing to Starbucks for a caffeine fix, she had brewed a cup of herbal tea in the Keurig and had sipped it while reading a daily devotional.
Although the previous day’s events had left her emotionally drained, stiff muscles and fatigue didn’t plague her body this morning. After a hot bubble bath the night before, she’d slept like a baby. The realization that yesterday was the first Sunday she’d attended only two church services in three years hadn’t come until her head touched the pillow. Even more surprising had been the absence of condemnation for hanging out on the beach on the Lord’s day. “The church mothers would be proud,” she’d moaned before drifting off to sleep.
Sergio-Xavier had been the perfect gentleman, not that she was looking for one, but the man had turned out to be everything she thought he wasn’t. He’d sensed and fulfilled her needs without her having to articulate them. He’d known when to allow her to talk and when to be quiet and let the ocean’s waves speak for her. Most importantly, he hadn’t cracked jokes about the corns on her feet or her rough heels. She hadn’t had a pedicure since the beginning of last spring, but she vowed to get one as soon as possible.
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