by April Marcom
“My dad died last summer, you malicious, airheaded, bimbo cheerleader,” Amethyst spat.
A whistle blew madly across the cafeteria. “Amethyst Hampton, get over here right now!” Principal Horawitz thundered.
The trivials picked up their trays and walked away from the threatening group of girls encircling them, abandoning their cheer captain.
“I’d beat you into the ground right here if we weren’t at school,” Amethyst said to Nicole. “You better hope I don’t run into you on the streets.”
“Now, Amethyst!”
A few nearby tables broke into clapping and cheering as Amethyst cut through her crew, making her way to see the principal. The tears, black with mascara and eyeliner, I saw trickling over her cheek amazed me more than anything else she’d just done. Obviously, she knew my pain in losing a father perfectly.
I nearly dropped my tray when Blaine stuck two fingers in his mouth and let out a high-pitched whistle. He shouted, “YEAH!” then put an arm around me to lead me to our new cheer table. “That’s karma.”
I looked back and caught sight of Nicole running from the cafeteria, leaving her spilt tray behind.
41
Nicole was a no show for fifth and sixth hours, although Miss Peters got a phone call halfway through class and announced that Nicole and Ty would be trading seats permanently. I looked back at Ty, wondering if this would end up working for or against me. He glanced at me and looked down at the floor. Sixth hour went the same. Mrs. Smelting got a call a few minutes into class. Then she announced Nicole and this tomboy named Hazel would be trading seats permanently.
I was grateful the storm clouds moved on after a little drizzle, because that meant cheer practice wasn’t canceled. My girls and I kept casting each other secret glances and grins, thinking of my big reveal, as we went over the routines we’d be performing at tomorrow’s pep rally.
My mom picked us up after practice, since we were having the pre-presentation meeting at my house. I texted Poppy to let her know we were leaving school, and she texted back to say Ty would be driving her over in a few minutes. There was absolutely no way I could concentrate on what the other cheerleaders were saying after reading that.
White and gray stone buildings whizzed by outside my window. Buildings became tall, colored houses when we entered our neighborhood.
I decided to send out a group text to the other four, hoping to avoid a ton of questions.
Ty’s bringing Poppy. I’m staying out front. U can wait 4 me n my room.
The car got quiet when their phones started dinging and buzzing, signaling my text. We pulled into my driveway as they read it, then everyone was climbing out. I was so super thankful no-one made it into a big thing.
I got a couple of pats on the back, a “Good luck, Hadley,” from Steph, then my girls were disappearing with my mom inside the house.
I went to take a seat in one of the white rocking chairs on our portico. First, I took out my cheer ponytail to smooth down my hair. Then I swept a finger under both eyes to wipe away any smudged mascara. My fingers remained fidgety in my lap.
If only I knew exactly what to say when Ty got there. I still want to be with you didn’t work. I’m sorry didn’t work. I love you sooo much didn’t work.
Even in the warm sunlight, a cold breeze caused me to shiver. The golden leaves fallen from the tulip tree in our front yard swirled together across the lawn. A few blew across the street into a neighbor’s yard.
My imagination became lost in Ty getting off his bike and taking me in his arms, letting go of everything I’d done so we could finally be together again. Visions of every wonderful moment we’d spent together danced through my memory next, until I heard the faraway sound of his bike.
I stood and went to our front walkway. Ty was just turning onto our street from way down at the east end. I watched him as I walked, heart pumping, still clueless as to what I would say.
The closer he and Poppy came, the more freaked out I got. I crossed my arms and hugged myself against the cold when I stepped from our walkway to the sidewalk. He closed the distance between us in no time. He pulled over right in front of the sidewalk where I stood.
Poppy hopped off and handed her helmet to Ty. She was wearing a totally stuffed-full backpack. “Hey, Hadley!” I loved her excitement. “Where are the others?”
Ty took a sleeping bag from under his seat and handed it to his sister. He replaced it with Poppy’s helmet, but didn’t remove his.
“They’re up in my room. I was hoping I’d get to talk to Ty before he left.”
“Oh, I get it. I’ll see you inside then. Thanks, Ty.”
Ty closed the motorcycle seat and sat down. He finally took his helmet off to look at me.
My heart totally melted. “Ty.” My voice was already shaking. “Can’t you just forgive me? Please? I’m so, so sorry.”
He leaned one arm against the bike’s handlebar, forcing his whole body forward. Silence was the only answer I got at first. “I know, but—I would have done anything for you, Hadley, and you broke up with me because of a bad morning.” He paused to shake his head, looking truly hurt. “I would always be scared of you breaking up with me every time things got tough.”
“No. I promise you, Ty, I won’t break up with you again, no matter what happens.” My voice cracked horribly. “Never.”
He stared at the pavement for a long time, like he was trying to decide, then drew his shiny dark eyes back to me. “How can I trust you, Hadley? A person doesn’t change in four days.”
“But that’s not who I am.” I stepped over the grass dividing us and took his hand. “I love you, so much.”
“I love you, too, but—I’m scared of this.” He squeezed my hand.
“You don’t have to be, though. Can’t you please forgive me?”
“It doesn’t matter if I forgive you or not.” He pulled his hand away from mine. “I just don’t think I can trust you again. But thanks for inviting my sister over. She’s been looking forward to this all week.” He pulled his helmet on and started his motorcycle. Then he was driving away, leaving me in tears.
I watched his bike for as long as I could, hoping he might be watching me in his rearview mirror, as well.
I didn’t get very far up the stairs before I heard my girls talking way too loud, trying to be heard over each other. Brittany was talking about what Stephanie should do for her sweet sixteen—acrobats and fireworks—and Zaniah was arguing against her—a classy bash at the Silver Wing gardens.
“No, no, no, no,” Lavender’s voice rose. “Black light, glow stick party at midnight.”
Lavender’s idea would have been my favorite, if my heart wasn’t so very broken. It was final now. Ty would never forgive me. We would never get back together. I tried to dry it up and stop crying before I went into my room.
Brittany jumped off my bed when I stepped inside. “How’d it go?”
I shook my head, instantly crying. “He can’t trust me not to break up with him again… But I wouldn’t. I would never break up with Ty, ever.”
“Aw.”
Two arms went around me, then I was surrounded with hugs.
“Don’t get sad, Hadley,” Zaniah said. “Get mad—at Nicole.”
Stephanie laughed. “Come on, Zaniah. That Glad trash bag commercial—now?”
“Yeah. Tomorrow’s pep rally’s the perfect thing to get Hadley’s mind off her breakup. We just need to redirect her feelings. Come on, Hadley, Poppy’s already got her laptop up and going.”
I went to sit on my bed in the middle of Brittany and Zaniah, but couldn’t stop the sniffling and pain. Stephanie and Lavender sat next to Zaniah, and turned their attention to Poppy.
“Ummm, do you want me to show you what I came up with?” Poppy asked me. She was standing beside her laptop at my desk, looking concerned.
I only nodded.
“Okay, so there are lots of definitions out there for bullying, but I’ve summed it up into this.” Poppy hit a
key on her laptop and the word Bullying popped up. She hit another key, and a definition appeared beside the dash. “Bullying is any act performed by one person to hurt another person in any way. No one type of person is immune to becoming a victim or a bully…” Poppy went on to sum it up really well, then dove into statistics and a few different things that can lead to kids becoming bullies. We were all impressed, I think.
My phone rang right as she started talking about bullying and teen suicides. “Uuhh, Brittany!” I grabbed her arm when I saw a video call coming in from Nicole.
“Whoa, Poppy could you hang on just a sec?” Brittany said. “You want me to answer it, Hadley?”
“No, I just—why is she calling me?”
“Only one way to find out.” Zaniah shrugged.
I shut my eyes and focused on erasing all emotion from my face. Then I hit accept video call. My mouth went dry when I said, “Hello,” in a perfectly monotone voice.
42
“Hadley?!” Nicole looked absolutely manic! Her face was bright pink and she was full-on crying. She also had a long cut under her bottom lip and one arm in a sling, so that was new. “Hadley, please don’t do whatever you’re doing tomorrow. Please! You have no idea what I’ve been through today.”
“Don’t I? You put me through the same thing Monday, Nicole.”
“No.” She shook her head, whimpering horribly. “Today was worse. I shouldn’t have said that about your dad. Now everyone wants to hurt me. Seriously, Hadley!”
She didn’t sound the least bit sorry. Her only regret was obviously turning our school against her. It had nothing to do with what she’d put me through.
“You did this, Nicole, not me. You also did this to me, all because I didn’t want to break up with the greatest boyfriend in the world. But you cost me that boyfriend in the end, anyway. You stabbed me in my back so—many—times, and I didn’t do anything to you. I didn’t deserve this. Ty didn’t deserve this. You do, though. And I’m going through with it tomorrow, no matter what.”
“Hadley, no, pleeeeease—”
I hung up on her, feeling no better at all.
Zaniah put an arm around me. “You’re right, you know.”
I met her eyes, feeling all kinds of horrible. “Did you see her? Something happened to her arm.”
“Yeah, but she could be faking it for pity. Remember that she got her new nickname for a reason.”
After what I saw today, though, I seriously doubted she was faking it.
“Hadley, the whole school’s counting on you,” Brittany said. “Don’t back out now.”
“No, I’m not backing out. I just—” I couldn’t find the right thing to say. How do you put it into words when you’re feeling total satisfaction and remorse, total excitement and dread? So I said nothing, except, “Go ahead, Poppy. I’d really like to hear the rest of your speech.”
“Okay.” She was still looking at me like she wasn’t sure if she should go on or not. “So bullying leads to more suicides than you might think…”
I checked a new text from Nicole as she continued.
I got jumped today, fractured arm & 2 broken teeth. Plz don’t do it.
In spite of everything she’d done, that broke my heart. I loved Nicole as much as I hated her. Years of best friendship were still between us. But after what she said about my dad… I had to get revenge.
I turned my attention back to Poppy, but only half-succeeded at paying any attention to what she was saying. She kept pausing between subjects, and asking if we had suggestions. Everyone kept telling her how amazing her presentation was and not to change a thing. Her speech went on for something like ten minutes, and covered a lot of really serious issues.
“So, what do you guys think?” she asked at the end.
Brittany gave her best cheerleader smile and started clapping. I laughed and clapped, too. Poppy bowed.
“That’s what we should email to Principal Horawitz,” I said.
“Geez, I can’t believe you’re only in eighth grade,” Stephanie said. “They should skip you up at least to ninth.”
“Thanks, but I am hoping you guys will do all the talking tomorrow. I get stage fright.”
“Yeah, we can do it,” Brittany said. “Cheerleaders aren’t allowed to have stage fright.”
“That’s the truth,” Lavender said, laughing.
“So, how about if Poppy stays kind of back behind us, then?” Stephanie said. “We could stand in a line and take turns covering, what—two PowerPoint pages each? We could pass the microphone down the line. Then Poppy won’t have to worry about saying anything.”
“I think that’s a good plan,” I said.
“Except for you,” Brittany said. “We save our secret weapon for the end. I bet everyone in the bleachers will get the idea, then they’ll know it’s coming, then BAM!” She clapped her hands together suddenly, drawing giggles. “Nicole gets it.”
“Okay.” I was happy with that arrangement. I didn’t really want to be covering the points of bullying when I might be fighting back tears or something. With so much going on with Ty and Nicole and what she’d said about me, I felt kind of unstable.
“My mom’s gonna be picking everyone up like half an hour early tomorrow so we can make sure we’re set up before the pep rally,” Brittany said.
“Does school even open that early?” Zaniah asked.
“Yeah, can you believe it? Who in their right mind would want all that extra time at school?”
“Hey, it’s the perfect time to review for a test and make sure you got all your homework done,” Poppy said.
Brittany stared at her wide-eyed. “Oh my gosh. I’m sorry, Poppy. I didn’t know you went to school that early.”
Poppy laughed. “It’s okay. Cheer’s your thing; straight A’s are mine.”
“Man, I’m so glad you’re not easily offended, cause I’m not that great at thinking before I speak.”
“Yeah, we know.” I elbowed her in the side softly.
“Ha ha.” She rolled her eyes.
“Soooo, since we’ve got the world’s greatest chef here again, maybe we can make a super fabulous dinner like last time,” Zaniah said.
Stephanie stood up. “Yeah, I’m starving.”
“What do you guys think about shepherd’s pie?” Poppy asked.
“Shepherd’s what?”
“Don’t tell me you’ve never had shepherd’s pie,” Lavender said, following us out the door.
“You’re gonna love it,” Poppy promised.
Just like Monday night, it was a total blast. I was extra grateful for it, too, since it helped get the image of Nicole beaten and crying out of my head.
My mom took the other girls home at eight-thirty this time. Poppy and I said bye to them and went upstairs to get ready for bed.
My nerves were really on edge the more I thought about what I would be doing in the morning.
I sat on my bed and skimmed through clashofthecheerleaders.com while Poppy went in the bathroom first to wash her face and brush her teeth and stuff. Maybe if I saw the newest hate-posts Nicole put up about me, it would strengthen my resolve to bomb her, and make me stop feeling so darn bad for her.
Clearly, she had it worse than I ever did. And I couldn’t see any way for her to escape the impossibly deep grave she’d dug herself into. Even her newest besties deserted her. They hadn’t posted anything in her favor since before the lunch incident. But Nicole hadn’t posted anything either.
I opened the photos on my phone and flipped through the pictures of Nicole and me and the rest of the Smokin’ Six. Nicole and I stuck our tongues out in one. We stood back to back in another. “Why did you do this?” I asked her picture, feeling myself cry. “Why did you have to make it this way?” I kept flipping through pictures of Nicole and of Ty, making myself feel worse and worse, until Poppy stepped out of the bathroom, looking at something on her phone too.
“Hadley, are you okay?” she asked.
I shook my head.
/> “Yeah, that was a dumb question.” She sat at my desk and turned the chair to face me. “You want to talk about it?”
I looked up at her. She reminded me so much of Ty at that moment. He would have asked me that exact same question. He would have held me close and made it all better. “Nicole’s just… she’s so mean, but I still feel bad for her… But mostly, I just miss Ty—I miss him so, so much.”
She waited for me to say more, glancing between her phone and me, lifting it high enough in front of her to make me seriously uncomfortable.
“Are you recording me?” I had to ask, feeling all kinds of shock and anger.
She lowered the phone and let her hands hang over her knees. “I’m just waiting for my mom to text me back.”
“Oh, sorry.”
“You’re fine. Go ahead and finish what you were saying.”
“I don’t know what to do, Poppy. I told Ty he was just a stupid dare so he wouldn’t try to talk me out of breaking up with him, but it was a lie. He was—the most wonderful dare—the most wonderful boyfriend. It’s just…” I sucked in a stinging breath. “Everyone in school hated me. People were knocking me over in the hallway and nearly breaking my arms stepping on me. I’ve never been so terrified in all my life. I wasn’t thinking straight. I thought if I just broke up with him… Nicole would take the scandalous thing back and maybe I’d get over Ty eventually…” I wiped my sleeve across my face, trying to clean off the tears and makeup, shaking my head. “But I can’t get over Ty. I love him—so much, and… I’d rather spend every day like last Monday and have him back than go on without him.”
“Well, he’s probably feeling just like you are.”
“Yeah, and that’s the worst part. I broke his beautiful, perfect heart…” My head hung at the thought. “In a moment of selfish desperation, I made the biggest mistake of my life. I can’t believe I let Nicole make me do that to him. If he could just forgive me, I would never ever hurt him again. Not even if my life depended on it.”
