THE ADVENTURES
OF
CAPTAIN PUMP
THE WORLD’S FIRST
FITNESS SUPERHERO!
The Adventures of Captain Pump: The World’s First Fitness Superhero!
Copyright © 2018 by Jasson Finney
All Rights Reserved
No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the prior written permission of both the publisher and the copyright owner.
Book design and layout by Mark E. Cull
LCCN: 2018046034
ISBN (tradepaper): 978-1-939096-05-0
ISBN (ebook): 978-1-939096-07-4
The National Endowment for the Arts, the Los Angeles County Arts Commission, the Ahmanson Foundation, the Dwight Stuart Youth Fund, the Max Factor Family Foundation, the Pasadena Tournament of Roses Foundation, the Pasadena Arts & Culture Commission and the City of Pasadena Cultural Affairs Division, the City of Los Angeles Department of Cultural Affairs, the Audrey & Sydney Irmas Charitable Foundation, the Meta & George Rosenberg Foundation, the Kinder Morgan Foundation, the Allergan Foundation, and the Riordan Foundation partially support Red Hen Press.
First Edition
XENO Books is an imprint of Red Hen Press, Pasadena, CA
www.redhen.org/xeno
Contents
1. The Origins of a Hero
2. The Fall That Tells It All
3. The Dancing Bin Speaks
4. Welcome to Pumpland
5. A Superhero’s Representative
6. The Plot Thickens
7. Ready, Aim, Learn!
8. The Right Choice
9. The Pumpland Praise
Captain’s Corner
Captain’s Gym
Captain’s Cupboard
Captain’s Final Words
CHAPTER ONE
The Origins of a Hero
Do you want to hear the story of the world’s first Fitness Superhero? That’s right, a real fitness guru whose mission is to help kids all over the universe live healthy and happy lives. This is the story of Captain Pump, a fitness fanatic with pumped-up muscles, who helps kids “Save the Day the Healthy Way.”
Unlike most superhero tales, this one doesn’t start in a far away land, or some mad scientist’s laboratory . . . it starts at an elementary school in a small town where everyone knows everyone . . . maybe one just like yours.
To tell the story of this larger-than-life character, you must first tell the story of a man, a simple man who works at County Public School. A man who is committed to making sure that every student becomes who they are meant to be. A kind and thoughtful man whose dream is to see kids live healthy and balanced lives. He is not a teacher, a counselor, or a principal. He is the janitor, George Basner.
George is an imposing and jovial fellow with a shaved head who sports his trademark overalls, plaid shirt, and work boots. He is very fit and has always lived a healthy life. He learned a long time ago that being healthy means eating well, and being fit means exercising your body and mind. He adopted good eating and lifestyle habits, such as exercising regularly. Even if he didn’t feel like doing it that day, he persevered and pushed himself to get the job done. Year after year he kept to his regimen, staying the course to become who he is today. But there is one thing that deeply bothers our friendly custodian. George wants to help the kids learn to adopt the same healthy ways so they also grow up to be fit, healthy, and strong people, but no one at the school seems to take him seriously, or cares that so many of the students are unhealthy. He worries that if they don’t turn it around and start treating their bodies well today, their bodies will not be nice to them tomorrow . . . and he is right.
His biggest obstacle is convincing Ms. Barkelott, the principal, that being fit is just as important as getting good grades—they both count, but try getting her to see that. You see, Ms. Barkelott and her staff think George is just a lunkhead with muscles who pushes a broom.
But the one person who sees that George has much more to offer than simply keeping the halls clean is Ashley Johnson, the soft-spoken and kind English teacher who is fit as a fiddle and full of spunk. Ashley lights up a room with her sparkling eyes and infectious smile. She empathizes with George and also wants to see the kids get fit and make healthy choices.
Together, they have the right intentions, but they just don’t seem to know what to do to get the students to take a real interest in their own wellbeing. It’s not easy for George.
“It’s discouraging to see these kids going down an unhealthy path. But what can I do?” mutters the concerned custodian. “After all, I’m only a janitor.”
Ashley, on the other hand, knows that there is more to George than meets the eye, and soon the whole world will know it too.
CHAPTER TWO
The Fall That Tells It All
The school bell rings, and the students shuffle by the teacher’s lounge where George is on a ladder, changing a fluorescent light bulb. The morning news report plays on the television in the background.
George, distracted by the news report, loses his footing, slips, and falls off the ladder. Trying desperately to catch himself, he reaches for the edge of the ladder but it’s too late. BANG! echoes through the hall as he crashes to the floor, hitting his head hard on the ceramic tile. As he lies there, out cold, he has an anxiety-ridden dream where junk food, led by grotesque fudgy creatures, wages a vicious attack against healthy snacks, marshaled by heroic vegetables and valiant fruits. Ashley hears the loud thump from the hallway, and goes into the lounge to see what the noise is just as George is starting to come to. George sits on the floor next to the fallen ladder, dazed and confused.
“George, are you alright?”
“Oh, my head,” moans George. “Ashley, it was terrible! There were fruits . . . and there were vegetables . . . and cakes . . . so many sugary cakes! It was a confectionery catastrophe, a vegetable disaster! These giant brownies and these scary-looking cupcakes and those salty chips . . . and they were attacking the watermelons and then the grapes got all in a bushel, and there were seeds everywhere!”
“It’s okay, George. Maybe I should take you to see Nurse Placebo,” says Ashley.
“Oh no, I’m fine. I’ll just get some water and sit here a minute,” says George.
As George walks over to the water fountain, he overhears Ms. Barkelott, a husky woman with an attitude to match, sporting spectacles and her hair up in a bun. She’s bellowing from the corridor, scolding a pair of students in the hall. “Guido! Myron! Get over here! That’s it, you two! You’ve really done it this time!”
George pops his head out into the hallway and spots Ms. Barkelott escorting the two class clowns to her office while Zack, the captain of the basketball team, and his teammates laugh and look on.
“Honest, Ms. Barkelott, I didn’t know that Mr. Blunt was wearing a wig,” sputters Guido.
“Uh yeah, we didn’t know,” agrees Myron.
“It’s called a toupee, and you’ll have plenty of time to think about that in detention this week!” exclaims Ms. Barkelott, dragging the boys down the hall to her office.
As the principal pulls the two pranksters along, Coach Moe Tivation, a heavyset, frumpy man who lives, eats, and breathes sports, salutes Ms. Barkelott as he walks by.
“By the way, Coach, practice is cancelled this week. Mr. Svelte needs to dig up the soccer field for his science class’s night crawler experiment,” says Ms. Barkelott.
“Huh? What? A worm experiment?”
“All in the name of science,” answers the principal.
“But the championships are coming up! How are we supposed to get ready for the big game?” cries th
e dejected coach while the principal carries on with her two pranksters down the hall.
George stands dumbfounded in the doorway to the teacher’s lounge. He shakes his head in disappointment as he watches Guido and Myron disappear around the corner. As he returns to the business of fixing the neon light fixture, he climbs back up the ladder and suddenly hears a startling noise coming from the other side of the teacher’s lounge. He stops and looks around, but no one is there. He returns to the business of the light bulb when he hears the same noise again . . . some kind of muffled sound that seems to be coming from the recycling bin on the other side of the room. “What is that?” mutters George. He slowly starts to climb down the ladder. The noise starts to grow louder and louder.
CHAPTER THREE
The Dancing Bin Speaks
George stands over the bin. He spots a most peculiar sight among the load of recyclable paper: a brown manila envelope covered in stamps and postmarks from countries near and far. From Brazil to Egypt, Canada to New Zealand, and many more. “By the looks of things, this envelope has traveled all over the world. How did it get in the teacher’s lounge recycling bin?” wonders George.
George grabs the envelope as the muffled sound grows to what is now a human-like voice coming from inside. He picks it up and shakes it as it begins to talk. “Hey, stop that, you knucklehead! You’re making me dizzy in here.” George drops the envelope on the ground.
Strangely enough, it thuds as it falls to the floor, as if a heavy object is inside. The envelope starts to speak. “Ouch! That one’s going to leave a mark! Come on, let me out already.”
George picks it up off the floor and begins to tear it open. He hesitates and the voice grows impatient. “What are you doing? Hurry up already! I can’t breathe in here.”
George, as frightened as he is curious, finally rips it open and the voice suddenly stops. Inside he finds a comic book. The cover reads:
Captain Pump: The World’s First Fitness Superhero!
A very impressive image of a caped muscular man appears below the title . . . a superhero with a cool orange head of hair, dressed in a costume resembling the colors of broccoli, spinach, and carrots. He is wearing a squash-colored cape, a green bean–colored belt, and, to complete the outfit, a “CP” logo across his chest.
As George examines the cover, the caped character—a superhero no one has ever seen before, and a fitness one to boot!—seems to be staring right into his eyes. George stands holding the comic book, staring right back at him. “He looks so fit and confident . . . to be honest, he kind of looks like me twenty years ago . . . back when I had all that hair,” mutters the janitor.
As George continues to examine the comic book, the fitness dynamo winks at George and starts to peel himself off of the cover . . . inch by inch he comes to life.
This picture of good health, bigger than a mosquito and smaller than a foot-long sandwich, hops off the cover and into the air, swooping and zipping around like nothing George has ever seen.
Startled, George starts to swing at him like a Major League baseball player. “Ah! Shoo, fly, shoo!” George swats at the little speedster as he would a house fly. “Get lost, you little mosquito!” repeats the frightened janitor. But Captain Pump is just too fast, zipping around his head like a fighter jet.
“Are you done yet?” asks the little fitness guru, laughing. George keeps swinging and missing. Out of breath, he finally stops.
“First of all, I’m neither a fly nor a mosquito, so don’t ever shoo me again,” warns the Captain sternly. “We have a lot of work to do, George.”
“What do you mean? Who are you? And how do you know my name?”
“So many questions. I am Captain Pump, the world’s first fitness superhero, and I am going to help you help the kids get fit, and get that principal and her staff to understand the importance of exercise and healthy living.”
“Good luck with that,” says George.
“You wished you could find a way to help the kids . . . well, here I am. Together we are going to help these amazing young people become fit, healthy, and confident so they can be better at everything they do for years to come,” announces Captain Pump.
“Wait, this is too weird . . . this can’t be happening . . . I’m talking to a mosquito who claims to be a fitness superhero and . . .”
“I’m not a mosquito!!!”
“Well, none of this is real.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah!”
“Maybe this will change your mind!”
Captain Pump grabs George by the arm and yanks him into the comic book. George screams and closes his eyes as they crash through its pages like a speeding locomotive until they reach the last page of the book, smash through the back cover, and begin to free fall. Captain Pump, confident and collected, looks over at a frightened George whose eyes are tightly clenched as he screams at the top of his lungs.
CHAPTER FOUR
Welcome to Pumpland
Captain Pump grabs George’s arm. George begins to feel weightless, no longer feeling as though he’s falling, but rather . . . flying. He opens his eyes to see a magnificent sight as he and a now full-sized six-foot-two Captain Pump fly over the incredible world of PUMPLAND.
“Wow! I’m flying! I’m really flying!” yells George.
“Yeah, with a little help,” chuckles Captain Pump.
Pumpland is a beautiful world filled with bright vibrant colors and a lush green forest with gardens sprouting everywhere. This is a place where fruits and vegetables thrive to monumental proportions and people are in great shape. It’s a place where the motto is to help each other, live healthy, and become better people every day.
“Welcome to Pumpland, George! A world where fitness, health, and wellness thrive, where being healthy is the way of life and everyone is welcome. It’s also my home. Come on, I’ll show ya around.”
Captain Pump and George float over the majestic land. “Kids are playing . . . outside!” shouts an excited George.
“Yeah! This is the way of life here. Everyone is active. They play Frisbee, kickball, swim, jump rope, shoot hoops, throw balls, ride bikes, go on hikes . . . and so much more.”
“Wow this is amazing!” says George, “Do you really live here?”
“You betcha,” Captain Pump affirms proudly.
As they fly by the CP Tower, Captain Pump says, “We develop Pumpsters there.”
“Pumpsters?” says George.
“Yeah! We teach the important things in life—being fit, healthy, and kind to each other. Someone who is all those things is what we call a Pumpster.”
“Wow, that’s cool. I want to be a Pumpster!” exclaims George.
“You think this is cool? Wait ’til you see the farm and the gym and all the Pumpland animals in the forest . . . there is so much to see and do here.”
“What’s that over there?” George points to a giant carrot emerging from the ground with a giant telescope and satellite popping out of the top.
“That’s where I live. It’s my headquarters. I designed it myself,” says the captain proudly.
“You have a CP School here, too. Just like mine.”
They land in front of three majestic purple buildings that look like giant eggplants. “What are those?” asks George. Captain Pump smiles.
“I had a dream about eggplants and decided to build this eggplant building. We aren’t sure what we’re going to use it for yet, but for some reason I felt drawn to build it, so we are. Construction should be finished in a few days. I can’t wait! And to think it all started with a dream.” Captain Pump smiles. “Dreams do come true, you know. Everything starts with a dream. You get what I mean, George?”
“I sure do, Captain, I sure do.”
“That’s how you create a great life, George . . . first you dream it and then you do it! You know, sometimes you just have to go for it, do what you feel is right like exercising and eating well. You just have to do it!”
George nods. Captain Pum
p reaches into George’s back pocket and pulls out the comic book that brought him to life . . . the MAGIC comic book.
“Now George, listen carefully. What I am about to tell you is crucial. The only way you can get back and forth between the real world and my world is through this magic comic book. Never lose it and make sure it doesn’t fall into the wrong hands. Got it?”
“You can count on me,” says George.
“And one more thing. No one will ever remember being in Pumpland . . . except for you, of course.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that when they are here they will know who I am . . .”
“How? What are you gonna do, brainwash them?” asks George.
“No, don’t be silly . . . well, kinda. See, the magic comic book erases their memory of ever traveling through it, and, of course, the experiences they had while in my majestic land. When they return they will go back to the place in time they were at before the magic comic book swallowed them up.”
“So, no memory and no idea of what just happened?”
“Nope. Nothing but a subconscious idea of what could be a better choice.”
“A what?”
“A thought . . . a little voice of reason, you know?”
“Not really, but I’ll take your word for it.” George takes a second to think. “Oh! I get it . . . a MAGIC comic book.”
“Yes, George, a magic comic book. Okay, time for you to go back,” confirms Captain Pump. In the blink of an eye, he pulls George into the magic panels.
He moves, once again, through the pages like a speeding locomotive, screaming as he crashes through the scrolling pages until he comes flying out of the book. He lands back in the teacher’s lounge, crashing to the floor next to the famous ladder he just fell from minutes ago. Did any of that even happen, or was it all just a dream? Ashley kneels at his side as she did a minute ago.
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