This time she doesn’t fight me. Playfully or seriously. Just lets me hold her. Almost as if she senses I need her more than I can explain. Because my need for her really is inexplicable. Her arms wrap around my waist and she squeezes me tight.
“This is nice.”
I agree. But Gus doesn’t seem to concur with our sentiments. With his belly full, he bumps my calve with his wet nose, seeking either more food or the exercise he was promised. “I don’t think he likes it as much as we do.”
One of the best sounds in the world blows against my chest as she giggles and shakes her head.
“You’d think he’d be used to it by now.”
Hell, you’d think I’d be used to it by now. But I’m not sure I’ll ever be. Holding her is like a drug. Fast release and instantaneous addiction that quiets the noise in my head and soothes the ache in my heart.
With one last squeeze to me, she bends down and caresses his head and ears with both hands. Giving him his turn at her full attention. “Okay, okay, we’re going. We’re going.”
Obvious as to who he likes better, he stays on her heels while she races to her place to change. Which I’m going to correct when she gets back. If she’s in my bed every night, all of her stuff should be in my place every day. I yank on my own shorts and running shoes while I wait. Lighting up like the damn dog when she returns. His leash in one hand while her other one slides into mine. Only struggling to hold him back when I perform my perimeter search before I let her—meaning them—out onto the sidewalk.
Not much of a warmup before we run when Gus is with us. Already straining to bolt forward and sprint to his favorite park. Both of us laugh at his awkward gait when he attempts to really gallop but he hasn’t grown into his huge paws and gangly legs yet. Dog’s going to be a beast once he’s fully grown.
After two months of running with her, I can actually keep up. She’s been as good for me physically as she has mentally. I smile over at her, but her gaze remains on the path. As introspective as I was earlier this morning. Quiet and deep in her own thoughts. Until she finally glances at me with an expression I can’t read.
“I have a favor to ask you.”
Anything. “Go for it.”
“Will you teach me to shoot?”
Not at all what I was expecting since she’s fit but not into playing sports as far as I can tell since the time I’ve known her. I nod toward the courts we pass on the right. “A basketball?”
“No, a gun.”
She keeps her head down, fiddling with the leash handle that works perfectly fine. She’d meet my eye, maybe even give me the eyebrow, if she felt confident in her request. Recalling our argument at the beginning of the summer, I know what she’s getting at. But she may not know what she’s really asking. “Because you want to be able to save yourself.”
“Yes.”
“And, let me guess. You asked your Dad, Max, and Theo, and they all said no.”
“They treat me like I’m helpless and you don’t. So I thought maybe you would.”
Fuck me if I don’t love her for seeing the difference. Because like them I’d give my life to save hers. Unlike them I know she needs to fly on her own and she can soar if given the chance. “Yeah, I will…”
She lights up like the Fourth of July celebrations everyone’s getting ready to enjoy. I shake my head. Loathe to diminish her enthusiasm, yet she needs to really understand her request. “There’s something I want you to consider first.”
Skepticism lines her face. She thinks my ‘yes’ is turning into a ‘no’ although she might change her mind on her own after my caution. “A basic firearm rule I believe is never point a gun at someone unless you’re really willing to pull the trigger. As much as you want to protect yourself and the people you love, would you really be able to kill the attacker and live with yourself if he died?”
“I never thought about it like that.”
“Because if you’re not sure, if you aren’t absolutely confident, a pro could easily turn the tables on you.”
“Someone like you?”
I have and I will again if need be. “Yes.”
“Okay, I’ll think about it, and if I decide I can do it, you’ll teach me?”
“Of course.”
The smile that returns to her face makes my cock stir with interest again. He was denied this morning and is still disappointed from the loss. Desperate for her regardless of when or where. But definitely not here. Even more than normal, I can’t wait to get home.
“Time’s gone by so fast. I can’t believe I’m already halfway through my internship.” Her focus returns to our trail. Contemplation filling her tone. “I’m really going to miss this place.”
The words stab my stomach. Sharp and jagged with the meaning behind her implication. She actually thinks she’s leaving. And that I could actually let her.
“Do you ever think about the future?”
Nothing to think about. Everything’s already as it should be. “Trouble, you are my future.”
She shakes her head. An indulgent laugh lifting her cheeks. “I’m serious.”
“So am I.” She stares at me like a deer caught in the headlamps. Completely startled but mesmerized all at once, unable to look away. As if she questions my sincerity as well as my sanity. “This is it for me. You’re it for me, Evie.”
“But I have school.”
I shrug. No reason she can’t finish. I sure as hell won’t stop her. “Okay.”
“I mean I have to go home.”
I shrug again. Still not an issue. Doesn’t matter where we live as long as we’re together. “Okay.”
She gives a small laugh that isn’t funny at all. “You hate LA. Remember all the people and smog and—”
“We’re together Evie. We’ll figure out the logistics of it, but we are together.”
“Andy, I…I don’t want to hurt you…it’s just that…”
What I don’t like is her doubt or her hesitation. At all. But she knows me by now. I’ll work harder than I’ve ever worked in my life to prove myself to her. “You can tell me anything.” She opens her sweet mouth, but I hold up my hand. Needing to make sure she’s really honest with me. “None of that ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ bullshit kind of fake excuse. Just tell me the truth.”
The deep breath she sucks in rattles me to the core. Cleansing and strong and not because she can’t talk and run simultaneously. Rather she’s preparing for a battle. Which she is fucking going to get if she thinks I’m letting her give up on us. On me.
“Okay, this is kind of gross but sweet too I guess because I—”
“Stop stalling.” I ignore the defiant eyebrow from my harshness and roll my finger forward. “Just say it.”
“Fine.” She lowers her shoulders creeping up to her ears in irritation and nods. “One time when I was a little kid, I had a bad dream and went into my parents’ room. I could hear my Dad talking in the darkness. Telling my mom how much he loved her. How nothing in his life was better than being with her. How she gave him everything he ever wanted. I’d never forgotten it because one, I walked in on my parents having sex which is just yuck.” She sticks her tongue out and shudders with the thought until her expression softens with a wistful grin. “But also two, because despite how mean and scary my father is to everyone else, he never is to her. I’ve always known how much he loves my mom.”
She’s not wrong. Nick is a straight up arsehole to most people yet always treats his wife like the queen to his mafia king. “Can’t disagree with you about that.”
“I want that for myself.”
Now I’m lost again and quit running much to Gus’s irritation. She slows too from my abrupt stop and circles back. With the damn leash winding around us as the dog attempts to figure out why we’ve ruined his enjoyment. I can’t have this conversation without facing her. Without both of us giving each other our full attention. I rub my hands over her already warm arms and smile down at her. “You’ve got it love. That’s exactl
y how I feel about you.”
A sad smile answers me back. “You’ve already had that with Madeline. I can’t expect you to forget about her and Aiden to love me.”
Like a punch to the gut. Slaying me that my second chance makes her feel like she’s second choice. “I promise it doesn’t work that way. I won’t forget about them. They’re a part of me. They always will be. Just like you are now.”
“I’m not explaining myself right.”
She shakes her head and frowns. Sighing in frustration at herself.
“You had a family and they passed away. You’ve been alone all this time. Now we’ve been hanging out for a few months, and it’s been great. It really has. But I think when I go home and you’re here, you’ll…”
My hands curl tighter around her biceps pulling her to her tiptoes in an involuntary reaction to her misunderstanding how things work for us. “There is no ‘you at home’ and ‘me here’ I guarantee you that. We’re together. Doesn’t matter where, we’re together.”
The fire I love, that also drives me fucking insane, flashes in her sapphire eyes. Insolent from my demanding tone.
“You just like me because you’re lonely and I’m here.”
Motherfucker. Now we’ve got a fucking inferno exploding between us with her erroneous assumption. At least I finally have the truth. Or what she thinks is the truth. “I’ve fucked other women Evie.”
She turns away from my gaze. Disgust pinching her face as much as the revulsion I feel from those stupid mistakes that meant nothing then and now.
“I don’t need to know that.”
“You do need to know that if you think I’m fucking you because you’re convenient.”
A blond bloke jogging past startles from my angry comment. Giving us the once over for as long as he can as he passes by before he has to look back to his route. But I don’t give a damn if he thinks I’m an arsehole or making a scene because the only person’s opinion I care about is fighting to get away from me. In every sense of the word.
“I’ve been set up on blind dates by mates who meant well. I’ve even asked out a few women myself. I’ve had one-night stands. That never turned into anything more than one night because none of them—not a single one of them—was ever who I wanted. I want you. Not because it’s convenient or because I’m lonely or because you happen to be here. But because it’s you.”
Optimism seems to lift her chin as she studies my face. Her eyes searching mine for any duplicity. I keep going, to squelch any doubt, unable to keep the furor out of my rising voice. “If I just wanted an easy fuck, would I cook you your nasty black bean veggie burgers that I fucking hate? Or let you put your cold feet on my legs every damn night? Or take Gus out four times a day and clean up his huge piles of shit if this was just easy and available sex? If that was true, I’d let you feed yourself, I’d stuff his arse in a crate while you were at work, and I’d leave you alone in your own apartment every night after I was done using you so I could have my king size bed all to myself again.”
Shock. Absolute, glorious, thrilled astonishment that burns away all the fucking hesitation she was inventing in her head. Dainty fingers splay on my chest the way I fucking love and she leans into me. Closing the physical and mental space between us.
“You’re right. You’ve always been so wonderful and generous. You’ve always made me feel wanted and loved.”
Damn if she’s not rousing up my cock again with the love illuminating her expression. “Because you are.”
“I’m sorry. I just didn’t think about all of that I guess.” Her small body jolts, and she furiously shakes her head and the smile instantly disappears, replaced with alarm in her huge eyes. “Oh my god! I’m such a bitch! I didn’t realize all the things you do for me and Gus.”
Her hands fly to cover her mouth in shame. “Shit! I’m so sorry. I really am a spoiled brat princess.”
I can’t help but chuckle from her realization that’s not completely true. “That’s okay. I still like you.”
“It’s not funny! I’m serious. I mean it. You do so much, and I do so little.”
“It really is okay.” I stop her from trying to step back and out of my clutches. Refusing to let her get away from me. “I like taking care of you. And it’s not like you’re just laying around and doing nothing. You go to work every day.”
A frown of insecurity still lines her face. “It doesn’t seem like it’s enough.”
“It is because you take care of me too. You make me happy.”
Okay now I sound like a total pansy arse tosser, but she seems to love it. Love me. Throwing her arms around my waist with a huge hug. Her sweaty body slathered against mine. Which excites my dick as well as Gus, who is totally over our discussion. He just wants to run and pushes her deeper into my embrace when he jumps up on her. “I guess we better get moving again.”
“Okay. But I hope you know I really am grateful for everything you do.”
More proof of how easy and effortless this relationship is. Her kind heart worrying about something that she never needed to be worried about in the first place. “I do trouble. I’ve always known.”
Much to my cock’s dismay and Gus’s joy, I let her go and we start following the path again. In our run and our relationship. Nothing and no one’s going to come between us again.
Last time we rode out to the fields, I held her close. Keeping her secure against me and the railing despite the bouncing ride. Now she holds onto Gus, making sure he doesn’t slide off the narrow seat with his nails skating across the smooth wood. He glances over at me, breathing his hot Alpo breath in my face and rubbing it in that he’s stolen my girl. But he gives me a sloppy lick on my cheek to soften the blow. Damn dog.
I forgive him a little when one of her hands, currently wrapped around his torso, lifts and caresses my chest, tangling in my shirt to hold me too. Laughing as they ricochet from another bump and Gus huddles deeper into her side. Terrified with uncertainty despite her assurances that he’s such a good, brave boy and we’re almost there. How can an animal as big as he is be such a scaredy cat?
All of us are happy when the wagon finally stops, and I grab the baskets. One empty and ready to be filled with the peaches for my pie. The other loaded with fresh fruit, cheese, and wine for our picnic. Including an extra block of cheddar for Gus. I roll my eyes, but don’t complain about his treat since she spoils me almost as much as him. Besides, I got way more attention than him this morning in bed and then again in the shower, so I guess it’s his turn now. Which is good because my dick’s already twitching from the reminder of her luscious, talented mouth so generous and eager to please me.
A quick sweep of the rows of trees and the meadow to the north confirms no reasons for alarm. Thick layers of gray clouds dim the sun as well as the turnout for a crowd, that I assume is usually much bigger, on a holiday weekend. The threat of rain keeping most families away since herding small kids and huge buggies in a downpour wouldn’t be a fun way to celebrate. Since we travel relatively light, I let her talk me into still coming. The bliss emitting from her expression makes me glad I did.
Her dainty hand slides into mine as I help her down, and she keeps ahold of me along with the leash in her other. Keeping the cord locked down with only a few feet of leeway to control Gus’s enthusiasm to smell every scent and make every friend and run every pasture. We’re the only couple that walks to the field while the three older women who rode out with us head straight to the tall trees that line the end of the orchard.
I flip the lid of the wicker container and slide out the blanket, fluffing it across the long grass leaning almost flat from the gusty breeze. Spreading out the fleece is another reminder of how much things have changed between us since the last time we laid on a cover that wasn’t draped across my bed. How much better things are, how much better we are. Also more proof of how damn soft I’m getting because of her when I smile instead of swear at Gus running wild and twisting up the throw I just smoothed out.
I take the endearing label in stride too. Not letting the description fuck me up as much as it used to. Being a parent to a furbaby, as she calls him, is pretty amazing. Especially since I get to do it with her. “Look Gus. Look what’s inside.”
Gangly and delirious, he falls for my ploy and runs right to where I point. Shoving his snout into the tan and brown box and rooting around the packages stacked neatly inside. At least they were neat. Taking the opportunity while he’s distracted, I untangle the fabric and motion for Evie to sit down. I drop beside her and yank the bin toward us with Gus following like the pied piper with his most beloved snack inside.
We tag team the preparation with her feeding him tiny bites of cheddar to keep him preoccupied as long as possible while I uncork the bottle and unwrap bowls of strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries along with thinly sliced smoked gouda, edam, and Jarlsberg.
“Have you ever been on a picnic before?”
I shake my head as I pour her a glass of chardonnay. “Nope, this is my very first one. What about you?”
“My boyfriend in high school and I had one when he took me to see Romeo and Juliet at Performances in the Park. We were reading the book in our lit class.” She smirks and rolls her eyes. “Well I was reading it. Talon was hoping to skip reading it by watching the play and—”
“Wait.” My hand pauses on the way to my mouth with a bite once the stupid thing she says sinks in. “Hold up. What the hell kind of name is ‘Talon’?”
Her giggle blows along with the wind from my question. “I know, right? But it’s LA. When you’ve got kids named after foods, colors, directions, it’s really not that weird.”
Another reason why I hate that place. “No, it’s weird.”
“Okay, I guess it is.”
She carefully stacks cheese slices on crackers. One for her and one for me, smiling her sweet smile when I accept mine with a kiss on her cheek. Leaning over Gus’s back while he lies between us, hoping for more treats to come his way.
Another Round Page 11
