The Tulip Girl

by Margaret Dickinson

  Maddie tried to smile. ‘You’ve been awfully good since Michael went.’

  It was true. Nick went out earlier than normal every morning, returning at breakfast with the mail in his hand, his grey eyes sympathetic when, each day, there was still no word.

  ‘You know,’ Maddie said slowly, ‘I could understand it, in a way, him not writing to me. But I would have thought he’d’ve written to his dad.’

  She saw Nick glance at her and then away again.

  ‘What? What is it?’

  He gave an exaggerated sigh. ‘Maddie, I know you’re – well – in love with him, I s’pose . . .’

  ‘Of course I am.’ She was hot with indignation. ‘How can you even think I’d have – that I’d have . . .’ she pointed to her own stomach, ‘done anything with him if I hadn’t been?’

  Nick was shaking his head sadly. ‘Oh Maddie, I tried to tell you, but you wouldn’t listen.’

  ‘What?’ There was a sudden icy feeling creeping round her heart.

  ‘You’re not the first, you know.’

  She was silent a moment, remembering the girl at the dance. Flatly, she said, ‘I didn’t think for one moment that I was.’

  ‘I mean – you’re not the first he’s got pregnant.’

  ‘What!’ Now she was shocked and hurt. She felt as if Nick had thrust a knife into her heart. Instinctively protective, she crossed her arms over her stomach. ‘Who? When?’ she demanded.

  Nick shrugged. ‘Brenda somebody. She had a babby last year and the gossip in the village said it was Michael’s.’

  ‘Oh, gossip. Is that all? I mean, did the girl come here? Did her parents tell his dad?’

  Nick shrugged. ‘How should I know?’

  ‘You seem to know plenty,’ she said tartly.

  ‘Maddie . . .’ His tone was reproachful. ‘I’m only telling you for your own good. I don’t like to see you getting hurt.’

  She frowned. She hated it when anyone said something was for her own good. It had been one of Mrs Potter’s favourite phrases.

  ‘Tell you what,’ Nick was smiling now, ‘soon as we hear where he is, I’ll go and see him for you. Put your mind at rest, like.’

  Maddie was thoughtful. ‘Well, I could go.’

  ‘No, no,’ Nick said swiftly. ‘That wouldn’t be a good idea. If anyone guessed, it could get him into trouble. A lot of trouble. No, it’d be better if I went.’

  ‘Or his dad. His dad could go.’

  ‘I think Mr Frank is too upset with him at the moment.’

  Maddie sighed. ‘I suppose you’re right. But there doesn’t seem to be much chance of anyone being able to go to see him if we’re not even going to hear where he is.’

  Before Nick should see the tears welling in her eyes, Maddie turned and walked away. I won’t cry, she told herself fiercely. Whatever happens, I’m not going to cry ever again.

  Thirty

  The following morning at breakfast they heard Nick’s boots pounding across the yard even before he flung open the back door and almost fell into the kitchen.

  ‘There’s a letter.’ He held out a torn and muddy envelope, the writing all smudged where the ink had run. ‘I found it in the lane. The postman must have dropped it.’ He held it out to Frank who took it and carefully unfolded the sheets of paper inside.

  ‘Is it from Michael?’ Maddie could no longer hold back her excitement.

  Frank nodded. ‘It’s dated two weeks ago.’

  Maddie’s face was a picture of joy. ‘There, I told you. He did write. That stupid postman. Just wait ’til I see him.’

  Frank was reading the letter. ‘It’s very short,’ he murmured. ‘But he does give us an address. He’s joined the Army.’

  ‘He must be wondering why we’ve not written back.’ She paused before she asked, unable to keep the longing from her tone, ‘Is there a note for me?’

  Frank looked up at her. ‘Sorry, love. Not this time, but he says he’ll write to you very soon.’

  Maddie swallowed the lump in her throat and smiled bravely. ‘Well, I just hope the postman doesn’t drop that one in a puddle.’ She looked at Nick. ‘Thanks,’ she said simply and rose from the table, leaving her breakfast untouched.

  Later in the day Nick found her in the fields.

  ‘Mr Frank ses I can go to see Michael.’

  ‘What about your mother? Has she given her divine permission?’

  ‘I wish you wouldn’t be so hard on my mother. It’s just her way, you know.’

  Maddie said nothing.

  ‘She’s had a hard life.’

  ‘Really?’ She could not keep the sarcasm from her tone. Harriet Trowbridge’s life didn’t seem all that hard to Maddie.

  ‘Yes. After my father died, she had nowhere to go. No other family. Mr Frank took her in as his housekeeper.’

  Maddie nodded. ‘What happened to your father?’

  ‘I’m not sure. He died. She never talks about him and I never ask. It always upsets her.’

  ‘Well, I’d want to know, if I was you. I’d ask her.’

  There was a pause before he asked quietly, ‘Do you ever wonder about your own parents?’

  ‘’Course I do. But there’s not a lot of point in trying to find out anything. I was dumped outside the orphanage, that’s all I know. Obviously, they didn’t want me then and since no one’s ever come looking for me, they still don’t want me, even if they are out there somewhere.’

  ‘We’ve got a lot in common, really, haven’t we?’

  ‘Have we? I don’t see how. At least you’ve got a mother, even if she won’t tell you much about your father.’

  ‘And you’re going to be a mother soon. But do you really think that your baby will ever have a father either?’

  Angry tears smarted her eyes, but she would not allow them to fall. ‘Of course it’s got a father. Michael.’

  Very softly, Nick said, ‘But he’s not here. Is he?’

  They worked on in silence, until Maddie could hold back the question no longer. ‘When are you going to see him, then?’

  ‘Day after tomorrow.’

  ‘Will you take a letter for me?’

  ‘Of course, Maddie.’ His tone was gentle now as she felt him touch her arm and turned to see that he was smiling. A wide, generous smile that lit his whole face. ‘I only want you to be happy, Maddie. I wish you’d believe that.’

  There was a sudden lump in her throat at his kindness. ‘I do,’ she said and bent her head over the growing bulbs.

  ‘Is he all right? Where is he? Can I go and see him?’

  The questions tumbled from Maddie’s lips on Nick’s return. He glanced at her and then quickly away again, almost as if he could not meet her eyes.

  ‘What is it? What’s wrong?’

  ‘He – he thinks it best if you don’t meet up. At least, not yet.’

  ‘Did you give him my letter?’

  ‘’Course I did.’

  ‘What did he say?’

  ‘That he’ll write to you soon.’

  ‘Did you tell him about his letter to us getting lost? And that was why none of us had written to him?’

  Nick nodded.

  ‘And?’

  ‘And what?’

  ‘What did he say?’ Maddie insisted. ‘Tell me everything he said. Please, Nick.’

  ‘He’s doing his basic training. He says it’s very hard and exhausting. After that, he’ll get posted somewhere. Maybe abroad, even.’

  ‘Abroad?’ Maddie was horrified. ‘But he’ll get leave, won’t he? He could come home on a visit, couldn’t he?’

  ‘Yes, he’ll get leave, but he thinks it’s best if he doesn’t come home.’

  ‘But he said, when I was sixteen, he’d marry me. Did he mention that?’

  ‘He doesn’t want the Army finding out about you being pregnant and underage. If he starts asking for leave to come home to get married when he’s only just gone in, they might start asking awkward questions.’

  Maddie turned
away back to her work with mixed feelings. Michael was all right. Nick had seen him, but he had not brought back the loving messages Maddie longed to hear. No promise of marriage now, not even a suggested meeting nor a letter for her.

  Maddie bit down hard on her lower lip. I won’t cry, she told herself fiercely. I won’t.

  ‘He’s not coming home, Mr Frank.’

  ‘I know, love, I know.’ His face was sorrowful, too, and Maddie again regretted the trouble she had brought to this kindly man’s door. Yet she would never say she was sorry about the coming child. Michael’s child. Her child. Their child. And one day they would be married. She knew they would.

  ‘Maddie,’ Frank was saying slowly. ‘I’ve been thinking.’

  She held her breath as fear flooded through her. He was going to send her away. He’d changed his mind about standing by her. It would be Mrs Trowbridge’s fault. She’d gone on and on about it. About the shame and the trouble that Michael might be in. And Maddie was sure that it was she who had spread the gossip around the village. So now, Mr Frank wanted her gone.

  ‘I . . .’ Frank removed his cap, ran his fingers through his hair and then replaced the cap. ‘I don’t know how much Nick has told you about his visit to Michael.’

  Maddie repeated, word for word, what Nick had said. When she had finished, Frank, much as Nick had done, glanced at her and then lowered his gaze.

  ‘Maddie, love. Nick says that Michael isn’t sure he should marry you now.’

  ‘What? But he said he loves me.’

  Frank reached out and touched her shoulder. ‘I’m sure he does, but he’s so young. You both are . . .’

  Despite her promise to herself, her lower lip trembled and tears welled in her eyes. ‘You’re turning me out?’

  ‘No, no,’ Frank’s denial was swift and obviously genuine. ‘No, never think that, Maddie. Please.’ He sighed deeply. ‘Michael doesn’t want to be tied down. Not yet. He has a chance to see a bit of the world now he’s in the Army.’

  ‘I don’t believe you. Nick’s said all this, hasn’t he? I don’t believe him.’

  ‘It’s what Michael told him. What Michael asked him to tell us.’

  Maddie was silently fighting the tears.

  Now Frank put his arm about her shoulders. ‘We must think of you and the child and what is best for both of you.’

  Michael marrying me would be the best thing for both of us, she wanted to shout, but still she could say nothing.

  ‘Look, Maddie, there’s something I want you to think about. Very carefully. I . . .’ He paused as if searching for the right words. Maddie looked up into his face and saw the concern for her in his eyes as he went on, ‘I – I want you to think about marrying me.’

  Maddie was speechless with shock. Marry Mr Frank? The thought appalled her. She liked him, loved him in the way she might love a father-figure, but marry him? When she loved Michael?

  His arm about her tightened. ‘We could be married as soon as you’re sixteen and then, if the gossips want to say it’s my child, well, all the better. Michael will be safe then. It’d be the best thing for everyone. So what do you say, love?’

  Maddie tore herself away from him. ‘No, no. Oh, I couldn’t.’ She turned and ran.

  Thirty-One

  ‘You scheming little hussy.’

  For a moment Maddie thought Harriet was going to strike her again but then the housekeeper turned her attention to Frank. ‘Have you taken leave of your senses? ’Course I know you’re only doing it to save your son. And I can’t blame you for that, I suppose. But I can’t see why you think you have to go as far as marrying this little slut.’

  Quietly, Frank said, ‘She’s carrying my grandchild.’

  ‘Huh! And how sure of that can you be, eh?’

  Frank glared at her. ‘I’m sure.’

  ‘Well, that’s it then. We’re leaving. Nicholas and I won’t stay another minute in this house if she’s to be mistress of it.’ Her face twisted into a sneer. ‘I hope you’ll be very happy together, a cosy little twosome to manage all the work.’ She jabbed her forefinger towards Maddie’s stomach as she said, ‘And how much longer do you think she’s going to be any help?’

  Frank ran his hands through his hair. Wearily, he said, ‘Harriet, there’s no need for you to go anywhere. Nothing’s going to change around here.’

  ‘Not change? Not change?’ Harriet screamed at him. ‘When she becomes Mrs Brackenbury and sleeps in your bed?’

  ‘I want to protect Maddie and the child – and my son.’ He glanced sympathetically at Maddie before adding, ‘You’ve got to believe it, Maddie. Michael’s not coming back. And in a way, I can’t find it in mesen to blame him. Oh, I know he ought to stand by his responsibilities, but he’s too young to be saddled with a wife and child. I’m only sorry, Maddie, that he’s landed you with it all. That’s why I want to try to help.’

  Maddie’s eyes blazed. ‘Don’t you say you’re sorry about the bairn. Don’t anyone say they’re sorry. I’m not. I’m glad I’m having Michael’s baby. And if he doesn’t want me or his child, that’s up to him. But I’ll never be sorry. Never!’

  The two looked at her in astonishment and then a small smile twitched at Frank’s lips. ‘I wish my son had your courage, lass. Really, I do.’

  ‘Courage, me foot,’ Harriet snarled. ‘She’s a scheming little hussy who’s wormed her way in here and reckons she can end up running all this.’ She swept her arm in a wide arc to encompass not just the house, but all the land around it. She leant closer to Maddie, ‘Well, let me tell you, you little madam, Sir Peter’ll not let a bastard orphan without a name be one of his tenants. And especially not you.’

  ‘Harriet! That’s enough.’

  ‘Aye, it’s enough all right. I’ve had enough, an’ all.’ She turned as if to leave there and then, but was stopped when Maddie said clearly, ‘I’m certainly not trying to take Mr Frank’s farm away from him. Although,’ she couldn’t help adding wickedly, ‘I think Mr Theo might well grant me the tenancy.’ She paused and then went on quietly, ‘Besides, I haven’t said I’ll marry Mr Frank.’

  The woman turned and, her eyes narrowing, said, ‘Ah, but you will. It’s all part of your plan, isn’t it, girl? By heck, I rue the day I brought you here. Well, I’ve only mesen to blame. I know that. Not for the first time, do I wish you’d never been born. Aye, and I’m not the only one who wishes it an’ all.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Nothing. Nothing at all.’ She turned away and went into the kitchen from where they heard the clattering of pans being banged about in temper.

  Maddie looked at Frank, who shrugged helplessly.

  ‘Will she go, d’you think?’ she asked.

  ‘I doubt it. Where would she go? No, Harriet’ll not leave.’ For a moment Maddie thought he sounded wistful, almost as if he were wishing she would. He sighed heavily and then looking at her steadily, he said quietly, ‘Think about what I said, love. It’d be for the best. I’m sure of it.’

  Maddie’s sixteenth birthday came and went and still she would not agree to marry Frank. In April, she was able to stand at the end of the field and see that her dream had come true. Stretching before her was her ‘rainbow’ field. Pink and yellow, red and purple. She should have been elated, bursting with pride and joy. Yet her sweet success tasted like dust in her mouth, her dreams were in ashes for there was no Michael standing beside her, sharing what should have been the most wonderful moment of her whole life. Instead, the beautiful blooms, bright in the sunlight, mocked her unhappiness.

  Surely, he had loved her as she had loved him and, deep in her heart, she knew she always would. Surely, his sweet words could not have been all lies and yet, as day after day went by and there was no word, no letter – nothing – even Maddie’s faith in him faltered.

  As she stood with her hands protectively over her stomach, looking out across the fields, she felt a tiny flutter beneath her ribs and knew it was the moment that her child had first m
oved. It lived and moved within her. It was a little piece of Michael that she would cherish for ever. He could never leave her completely because she had borne his child and those bonds could never quite be severed, not by anyone. Not even by Michael himself.

  For the first time since his departure, Maddie smiled and lifted her head to the bright blue sky, feeling the breeze on her face. She had a home, she still had the support and gentle kindness of Frank and soon she would have a child to love and care for. For the first time in her life, she would have someone who truly belonged to her. She would have a family. But, a little voice told her, your child needs a father.

  ‘Mr Frank, what do you say to the idea that this year – our first year – we sell as many of the flowers as we can? If we pick them at the moment they’re just coming into flower, we should get the best of both worlds, shouldn’t we?’

  ‘How do you mean, love?’

  ‘Well, we can sell the flowers and still get a fair amount of nourishment back into the bulb to build up our own store of bulbs for next year.’

  ‘Not sell to the dry bulb market, you mean?’

  ‘Not this year.’

  ‘I thought you had to leave as much stem as possible,’ Nick put in. ‘Just take the head off. We can’t do that if we’re going to sell them as cut flowers, can we?’

  ‘No, I know. But I thought we’d try to hit the middle of the road, just this year. What do you both think?’

  Now she included them both and glanced from one to the other.

  Frank and Nick exchanged a look and then Nick said, ‘Well, I think it’s a good idea.’ He smiled across at Maddie, ‘But then your ideas always are.’

  Maddie laughed. ‘Flatterer.’ Then she turned to Frank, who nodded and said, ‘I don’t see why it shouldn’t work. It might not be what Bill Randall would tell us we ought to do, but I’m willing to give it a try. We’ve got a good outlet for the blooms already in place that . . .’ He stopped abruptly and glanced, embarrassed, at Maddie.

  ‘It’s all right,’ she said quietly and reached out to touch his hand where it lay on the white table cloth. ‘You can say his name, you know. The outlet that Michael set up.’