All of a sudden, he didn’t feel sleepy anymore. He killed the stereo and glanced at the clock, wondering why she was down there at 12:43am…and why she’d driven her truck when the lodge was five hundred feet from her house. When he got closer, he noticed that the driver’s side door was hanging wide open. With a frown of concern, he parked beside his cabin and doubled back to the lodge on foot.
Everything was quiet when he unlocked the door to the kitchen and switched on the lights. He slipped his keys into his pocket and headed downstairs, pausing to glance into the lounge. Through the glass doors he could see that the room was dark, save for the glow of the fireplace and the accent lighting behind the bar. Hesitantly he opened the door and stepped inside, and at first he didn’t see anybody.
Then his eyes drifted to the couch, where Rebecca was lying sound asleep.
Tommy would later look back on that night and wonder how differently things might have turned out if he’d simply turned and walked away. His gut told him to do just that–to return to his home and mind his own business.
His heart, though, told him something else entirely.
He stood there for a long time, battling with indecision as he watched her sleep. He thought maybe he’d find her pulling inventory or doing some sort of prep work for the summer. After all, their first guests would arrive in a few short weeks. There was no sign of a laptop or paperwork, though, nor were any of the storage cabinets open.
No, Tommy instinctively knew that something was wrong. There was no other reason why she would be down here at this hour–alone–with a half-empty bottle of vodka on the table beside her.
Something had happened.
Something between her and Alec.
As he took a step toward her, a stab of conscience made him pause. Why was he doing this? Was he thinking about Rebecca…or was he thinking about himself? He winced when an image of Liz’s sleepy smile flashed through his mind, reminding him that he’d left her home less than an hour ago.
He wasn’t doing anything wrong, though. He was simply checking to see if Rebecca was alright. Maybe she’d even knocked on his door earlier, looking for someone to talk to, and he wasn’t there because he’d been out with Liz.
Tommy convinced himself that was the case as he knelt beside her and touched her hand. When she didn’t stir, he smoothed his thumb across her skin, hoping the sensation would wake her. It did. Her eyes finally fluttered open, and the look she gave him ripped his heart in two.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
Rebecca gave a helpless shrug. “I don’t know.”
Tommy cringed when two tears leaked from her eyes and dripped onto the cushion unchecked. What was it about a woman’s tears that could make even the strongest man crumble? She squeezed her eyes shut and choked back a sob, covering her face with her hand as if it would somehow conceal her.
“Oh, Bec,” he whispered. “I can’t stand to see you like this.”
She drew in a ragged breath and pushed herself upright, wiping her smeared mascara from her cheeks. Only then did he notice that her hair was shorter–a lot shorter–and styled into curls that perfectly framed her face. Even in the midst of a breakdown, she looked stunning.
So why the hell was she down here all alone, crying in the lounge in the middle of the night?
“I don’t know what else to do,” she choked. “I’ve tried everything I can think of and none of it works. It’s like he doesn’t even see me anymore. I feel like I’m invisible.”
Tommy started to reach for her and stopped himself just in time. He couldn’t hold her right now; not like this. “You could never be invisible,” he said.
She gave a smile that was so forced it almost caused him physical pain. Quickly he rose to his feet and turned for the bar, trying and failing to pull a breath into his lungs.
Leave, he ordered himself. Leave right now. Nothing good is going to come from this if you stay.
Once again Tommy ignored the voice of reason inside his head. He slipped behind the bar and grabbed a glass, filling it with water from the soda gun. Then he turned back toward the couch and stopped dead in his tracks.
Rebecca had also stood and turned to face the fire, giving him a full glimpse of her attire. He recognized the dress in an instant; it was the backless dress she wore her first summer on the ranch. His jaw had dropped the first time she wore it, and his reaction tonight was no different.
It still looked as incredible on her as it did back then, showcasing the cinch of her waist and the dainty tattoo on the arch of her back. She wore high heels, too, and black lace stockings, and for a moment Tommy wondered whether the stockings were full-length or thigh-high.
For God’s sake, she’s your best friend’s wife, he reminded himself, forcefully shoving the image from his mind.
Still, he got the impression that his feet weren’t quite connected to the floor as he ducked beneath the pass-through and approached the fireplace again. He offered her the water and she took several long sips before she set the glass on the mantle and turned to face him.
“Why are you always so good to me?”
Tommy swallowed hard. She certainly wouldn’t be saying that if she knew what was running through his mind.
“I’m really not,” he managed to say. “You gonna be okay?”
She gave an unconvincing nod, and what happened next came from somewhere deep in his subconscious. He didn’t even remember lifting his hand; he only realized what he was doing when his fingertips brushed against her cheek. He pushed the curl behind her ear and started to withdraw his hand, but he froze midmotion when Rebecca leaned into his touch.
It was so imperceptible that he almost thought he’d imagined it; then he watched her eyes flutter shut as she smoothed her cheek against his palm.
I didn’t mean to do that.
Before he could say the words, Rebecca closed the space between them. He didn’t know how else to describe it; she simply folded into him. Seconds later her face was buried in his chest and her arms were wrapped around his waist, grasping at the back of his shirt. Tommy’s hand was still on her cheek, if for no other reason than he was too stunned to move. Then he heard her quiet sniffle against his shoulder, and he started to ache in places he didn’t know he had.
Please, he silently begged. Please don’t cry again.
Even as he thought it, he could feel the final strands of his resolve unraveling. He knew exactly what would happen if she started to cry when he was holding her like this. He wouldn’t be able to bear it.
He grimaced when he felt his arm curl around her back, gently cradling her against him. He hadn’t meant to do that, either, but little by little he was losing his self-control. Rebecca tightened her arms around him and sniffed again, unaware of the battle raging inside his head.
Dammit, Alec. Why am I the one who’s here?
Rebecca didn’t cry, but she made no move to pull away from him, either. Instinctively Tommy closed his eyes, torn between his longing for her and his inescapable desire to do what was right.
What was right at this point, though? The line was so blurred now that he couldn’t even be sure. If Alec wasn’t giving her what she needed, why shouldn’t he? If she was hurting right now, why shouldn’t he be the one to undo that hurt?
Never in his life had Tommy been so confused. Her body felt incredibly warm and welcoming against his, and the scent of her perfume was almost enough to bring him to his knees. He leaned his cheek against her forehead and pushed her hair off her shoulder, letting his hand make a long, slow journey down her exposed back. Her skin felt like fire against his fingertips as he traced his way across the individual grooves of her ribs, all the way down to the end of her spine.
He wanted so badly to keep going–to gather the bottom of her skirt and discover everything that lay underneath–but instead he lifted his hand and buried his fingers in her hair.
Rebecca’s quiet sigh was almost his undoing. She lifted her head to look at him, and Tommy’s
heart skipped a beat when he recognized the expression on her face. It was a look he’d received from different women in his past, but never from Rebecca. Her lips were parted just slightly…just enough to indicate an invitation.
He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he could kiss her right now and she wouldn’t pull away from him. He could do anything he wanted, and she wouldn’t stop him.
The realization was so overpowering that for a moment he allowed himself to envision it. He already knew exactly what he would do. He’d take her face in his hands and kiss her soft and slow, until she started to tremble against him. Then he’d peel her dress from her shoulders and explore her body next, until he’d touched and tasted every morsel of her skin.
Finally he’d lay her down, right here in front of the fireplace, and make love to her until every lonely night and every tear she’d shed over Alec became nothing but distant memories. He’d make love to her until she gave herself over completely to him, until she gasped and cried out and looked into his eyes and understood that he was one who truly loved her…the one she should have been with all along.
And right in that moment, Tommy would tell himself that it was okay. And maybe, for a split second, he would even believe it.
Then his mind fast-forwarded to what would happen next, when their momentary pleasure was eclipsed by the reality of what they’d just done. Alec would never forgive them; he wasn’t the type of man who could forgive betrayal. Rebecca would find herself without a husband or a home, and Tommy wouldn’t fare much better.
Everything he had would be gone in an instant–including Rebecca, because she’d rightfully blame him for what had happened.
But as terrible as all of those things would be, the hardest blow would be losing Liz. No amount of regret or wishful thinking would change the fact that he’d been unfaithful to her. Even if he tried to explain how long he’d cared about Rebecca and that it in no way diminished his feelings for Liz, she wouldn’t understand. And even if by some miracle she did find a way to forgive him, it would forever tarnish their relationship.
He couldn’t do that to her.
Tommy cringed as he rejoined the present and looked straight into Rebecca’s eyes. It was the only way he could force himself to acknowledge the truth–perhaps the most painful truth of all.
Rebecca could have chosen him five years ago, but she hadn’t. She hadn’t wanted him then, and she didn’t want him now. She was just drunk and lonely and he just happened to be here, on the brink of making the biggest mistake of his life. He wished he didn’t have to let her go, because it was the last thing on earth that he wanted to do.
But he had to. The only thing that would hurt her more than letting her go was if he didn’t.
From a source he didn’t know he possessed, Tommy found the strength to step back from their embrace. “I’ve got an early start in the morning,” he said quietly. “I need to get some sleep.”
Confusion flickered across Rebecca’s features as he spun on his heel and marched for the door, but he didn’t dare wait for her response.
He already knew that he wasn’t strong enough to walk away from her twice.
Chapter 24
Alec’s mood had yet to improve when he awoke early the following morning.
His shoulder was still screaming from his fall the previous day, but he swallowed a few painkillers and shoved the thought from his mind. He entered the kitchen to find Dakota waiting for him, playfully extending her paw for him to shake. On any other morning, the sight would have made him smile.
He was fairly certain, though, that nothing could make him smile today.
He gave the dog a distracted pat before he forced down a quick breakfast and filled his Thermos with coffee. As he made his way onto the back porch, he noticed that Rebecca’s truck was missing. With a frown, he turned to look at the parking lot, only to spot her truck down by the lodge.
Why had she parked down there? Maybe she’d realized that he would need his vehicle this morning and she didn’t want to block him in.
He climbed into his truck and backed down to the storage shed, where he found Tommy stacking gigantic spools of barbed wire. “Morning,” he greeted.
“Morning,” Alec echoed.
He was in no frame of mind to talk, so he was glad when their conversation ended there. They loaded the barbed wire into Tommy’s truck and the fence posts into Alec’s; then they made the short drive to the back paddocks.
They worked in silence for most of the morning, ripping out the old fence posts and replacing them with new ones. Then they collected the rusted strands of barbed wire and started unloading the new spools from Tommy’s truck.
Soon the sun was high in the sky, transforming the frozen ground into muddy brown slush. Alec cursed when the post he was holding slipped from his grasp–for the third time–and hit the ground, sending a splatter of mud in his direction. He yanked the wire to right the post, only to have the barbs pierce through his glove. Another curse escaped his mouth when he removed his glove and saw the blood seeping from his palm.
“You okay?” Tommy asked.
He nodded and replaced his glove, unconcerned with the stain that would soon appear. Tommy helped him stabilize the post before he cleared his throat.
“You and Bec get up to anything last night?”
“Nah,” Alec replied. “I stayed in, but she went out with the girls.”
Tommy didn’t look up from the wire he was tightening. “You sure about that?”
A cold shiver traveled down Alec’s spine. He stopped midmotion and turned to Tommy, who’d looked at him at the same time.
“She never went into town. I found her down in the lounge.”
Alec was taken aback. “When?”
“’Bout twelve-thirty.”
That explained why her truck was parked there…but why would she have gone there in the first place? Alec racked his brain for a logical conclusion, but there wasn’t one. She wasn’t upset when she left last night, was she?
No. She seemed perfectly calm.
“I don’t know,” he finally said. “Maybe her plans fell through. She didn’t mention anything to me.”
Tommy turned back to the wire. “I’m not surprised.”
Something in the tone of his voice made Alec frown. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
No response. The icy chill came back, this time creating an anxious sweat on Alec’s brow.
“Tommy, do you have something to say to me?”
He gave a little shrug. “Nothing at all, boss.”
That did it. Alec released the fencepost and didn’t flinch when it toppled to the ground. Tommy stopped what he was doing, too, and stood to face him.
“Actually, you know what? I do have something to say,” he replied, yanking off his gloves and tossing them into his truck. “A lot of things, as a matter of fact. And I think I’ll start with the day I took Shania to the airport.”
Alec stared at him in bewilderment. “What does that have to do with–”
“I’m about to tell you,” Tommy broke in. “I didn’t know you back then, which is why I never said anything. But I have never in my life seen a woman cry like that. I still think about it sometimes, how awful that day was and how helpless I felt. Whatever you did to her, you hurt her so bad that I don’t know how she ever found it in her to speak to you again. So you know the very first thing I thought when I saw you and Rebecca together? I thought…how long is it going to be before he does the same thing to her?”
Alec’s stomach convulsed.
“But you know what the difference is this time? I was still a kid when all that went down with Shania. Back then I didn’t have any idea how relationships worked. But now I do. Which is why I can tell you exactly what’s going to happen.”
He paused and lowered his voice. “If you keep pushing her away, Alec, one day you’re going to push her too far. And when that day comes, you are going to lose her.”
“I’m going to lose her?” Al
ec challenged. “To who? You?”
Tommy shook his head. “You can’t see it, can you? Who’s the one she always confides in? Who’s the one she runs to when things get tough? Who’s the one she knows she can trust?”
A surge of anger coursed through Alec’s veins. “You arrogant son of a–”
“Who’s the first one she told last summer when she thought she was pregnant?” Tommy threw at him. “Who’s the one who was there for her when your dad got sick? Who’s the one who was there for her when she couldn’t cry in front of you? Who’s the one who doesn’t treat her like she’s invisible?”
Alec opened his mouth to respond, but Tommy cut him off. “It’s me,” he hissed. “It’s always been me. And it always will be me, because there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her. If she were mine I’d be so good to her that she’d wonder what the hell she ever saw in you.”
He spun on his heel, but Alec remained frozen in place, dumbfounded by his friend’s disclosure. When he managed to speak, he said the only thing he could think to say.
“How does your fiancée feel about that?”
His question stopped Tommy in his tracks. “I’d leave Liz out of this if I were you,” he said, turning back to Alec. “My relationship with her is none of your business.”
“And last I checked, my marriage is none of yours.”
“Yeah?” Tommy took a slow, calculated step closer. “Well, the next time your wife throws herself at me, I’ll tell her you said so.”
Alec’s temper flared hot and fast. Before he could stop himself, he swung his arm and slammed his fist into Tommy’s face. Tommy was caught unaware and stumbled back into the fence, but Alec barely noticed.
His rage was instantly eclipsed by the searing hot stab that pierced through his injured shoulder. For a moment, the pain was so intense he thought he was going to black out. He willed himself to remain conscious as he gritted his teeth and sank to his knees, reaching across his chest to grasp his shoulder.
Seconds later he heard Tommy untangle himself from the fence and rise to his feet. Alec glanced up at him, only to see that his lip was torn wide open from Alec’s wedding ring. He cringed, fully expecting Tommy to retaliate, but he didn’t. Instead he stared down at Alec and slowly shook his head.
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