Jeff laughed, too, and topped up Tommy’s glass. “It’s kind of stuffy in here. Wanna get some air with me?”
Tommy followed him onto the patio and drew in a much-needed breath of fresh air. Then he leaned his elbows against the railing and stared up at the night sky, admiring the countless stars overhead. Through the screen door, the sound of laughter reached his ears, pulling his gaze to the window. Rebecca sat on the couch with Stacey in her lap, and both of them were giggling as Rebecca tickled her tiny belly.
He didn’t realize how long he’d been staring until Jeff cleared his throat. “You never got over her, did you?”
Tommy’s stomach lurched, but he tried not to let it show as he turned back to his friend. There was no point in playing dumb; one look at Jeff’s expression told Tommy that he had him all figured out.
“Don’t worry,” Jeff added, giving his shoulder a pat. “I’ve never said anything.”
“But you’ve always known.”
He nodded.
Tommy winced and turned his gaze back to the window. “And here I thought I was so good at hiding it.”
“Usually you are. Just not tonight.”
Tommy’s heart sank as he watched Liz lean close to whisper something in Rebecca’s ear. “Do you think I’m making a mistake?” he dared to ask. “Marrying Liz?”
Jeff shook his head. “But I do think you’re kidding yourself if you think she won’t figure it out someday.”
Chapter 32
With his personal life back in order, Alec could finally turn his attention to the upcoming summer season. Between Las Vegas and Oregon, stressing about the sale of the ranch, and the unexpected drama with Rebecca and Tommy, Alec had scarcely given his business a second thought.
Now, though, he had no choice. Their first guests would arrive next Sunday, the day after Tommy’s wedding. And even though Tommy wasn’t going anywhere right away–he and Liz were planning a belated honeymoon in the fall–there was still a lot of work to accomplish in the meantime.
Fortunately the hiring problems they’d experienced last summer weren’t an issue this year. Jake and Ben showed up midweek to finish getting the barns and the horses ready. The female wrangler they’d hired last year, Holly, was returning for another season, bringing with her two friends who were both skilled equestrians.
For the first time in years, Alec had a full staff of six wranglers for the season. Ryan and his team of cooks and housekeepers were ready to go, too, which left Alec–for once–with very little to worry about.
Maybe there just wasn’t time to worry about anything. He spent every day that week helping Jake and Ben ready the ranch for their guests’ arrival; then he spent the evenings in the lodge or Tommy’s cabin, helping his friend with last-minute wedding details.
They still talked and laughed and worked together just fine, although deep down Alec couldn’t help but wonder how it would be after Tommy married Liz and all four of them lived together on the ranch.
“Alec?”
The sound of his name brought him back to the present. He turned his gaze from the window and found himself staring at Tommy, Rebecca, and Ryan. They were sitting in their usual Mexican restaurant for the preseason business meeting, but for several minutes Alec’s mind had been elsewhere.
“Yeah?” he replied.
His chef gave him a pointed look. “You didn’t hear a thing I just said, did you?”
Alec stifled a laugh. “I’m sorry, Ryan. Run it by me again?”
“The inspector said it’s time to replace the ovens behind the line. Is it okay if I order two new ones?”
“Of course,” Alec said, shaking his head to clear his thoughts. “Go ahead.”
*
Alec wasn’t the only one who was distracted during the business meeting.
Tommy had long ago learned the importance of making the best of any situation. It seemed that Alec had, too, because that was clearly the only reason Tommy was still here. Alec needed someone to run the ranch, just like Tommy needed a paycheck and a home.
It was mutually beneficial for them to leave things the way they were, so apparently the plan was to do just that.
It sounded great in theory–Alec would forgive Tommy and they could continue being friends, Tommy would marry Liz and live happily ever after, and Rebecca would never know that she’d come between them.
In reality, though, Tommy had never felt so unsettled. He felt like he always needed to be on guard now; like if he so much as glanced in Rebecca’s direction, Alec would take it the wrong way. He had no idea how to act around Rebecca, and he was even more leery around Alec.
The hardest part was not being able to talk to anyone about it. Liz was a great communicator and he could open up to her about anything…except this. Rebecca was easy to talk to, too, but she could hardly offer a solution when she was the problem. The subject was definitely taboo with Alec and Jeff, and he wasn’t about to divulge his deepest secret to Allison or Ryan or Jake.
For the first time in a long time, he thought about calling his sister. But she’d lived in California for years now and she’d never even met Rebecca or Liz, so he didn’t know how much practical advice she’d be able to offer.
No, in this instance Tommy was on his own. It’s not any different than it was before, he reminded himself. The only difference now is that Alec knows. And he’s not holding it against you.
But it was different now. A shift had taken place in their friendship that could never be righted, because there was no way of righting it. Even if Alec never brought it up again, it would always be a silent source of tension between them. Tommy would always feel like he was being judged, no matter how carefully he acted around Rebecca.
Could he really take that day after day, year after year? Could he work all day with Alec and Rebecca, trying to pretend that everything was the same as it had always been, and then come home to Liz and give her the love she so rightfully deserved?
He’d been pretending for so long now that he almost didn’t know what was real anymore. And now it appeared that he had a whole future of pretending ahead of him.
How had he gotten himself into this mess? He wasn’t an underhanded or a manipulative person by nature. He wasn’t the type of man who lied and hid secrets and coveted what didn’t belong to him.
Yet somewhere along the way, that was exactly who he’d become.
“Well, I’d say we’re pretty well set,” Alec was saying. “Unless anyone has anything else.”
Ryan and Rebecca shook their heads. Only when all eyes turned to Tommy did he realize that they expected an answer from him, too.
“I don’t have anything.”
Alec gave a sympathetic grin. “Five more days, Tommy. You’re almost there.”
Almost where? he thought as they filed out of the restaurant. Of the million different thoughts bouncing around inside his head, the wedding was the least of his worries.
He stood on the sidewalk long after his friends climbed into their vehicles and disappeared down the street. The night air was pleasantly warm for early May, producing an image of the Fourth of July rodeo two years earlier–the day he met Liz. The memory of that night always brought a smile to his face.
Now that he thought about it, Liz always brought a smile to his face…no matter what else was weighing on his mind.
A few minutes later Tommy climbed a familiar set of stairs, and Liz glanced up in surprise when he entered her apartment. “I thought you had your meeting tonight.”
“We did,” he replied, setting his keys on the counter. “We’re in good shape for the summer, so there wasn’t a whole lot to discuss.”
“That’s great,” she said, turning her attention back to the hall closet. “I was just trying to get the last of this packed. I didn’t realize how much junk I had crammed in here.”
Tommy chuckled. “We can start taking some of it over to my place tomorrow.”
Liz glanced at the sea of boxes scattered around her living room. �
�We might as well wait ‘til after the wedding. We have enough to do this week.”
“Aren’t you going to be staying at the ranch all week, anyway?”
“Yes. With Katie, not with you.” She gave a sly grin as she stood on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck. “You don’t want my parents thinking you’ve corrupted their little angel, now, do you?”
He mirrored her grin. “I hate to break it to you, but you weren’t that difficult to corrupt.”
They shared a long, lingering kiss before Liz drew back. “Will you stay with me tonight?”
Tommy nodded and pulled her close again. “I was planning on it.”
He helped her pack the remainder of the closet before they scooped out two bowls of ice cream and settled on the couch to watch the news. Finally Liz switched off the television and rose to her feet, extending her hands in Tommy’s direction. She led him to her bedroom and he let her set the pace, just like he always did. They made love and snuggled under the covers before she eventually drifted off to sleep. Tommy lay awake a while longer, studying the serene expression on her face as she slept.
It was a perfectly commonplace domestic night; the type that Tommy looked forward to enjoying every night for the rest of his life. He didn’t have to think or stress or worry about being with Liz–he just was.
It was so easy and so simple when it was just the two of them. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that she was perfect for him and that they would be happy together.
Why couldn’t he seem to remember that when Rebecca was around?
Maybe that’s your problem. Maybe you’ve been so focused on what you don’t have that you lost sight of the one thing you got right.
*
The rest of the week was so hectic that Tommy didn’t have time to focus on anything–good or bad.
Liz’s cousin flew in the next day; her parents arrived the day after; then Tommy’s own family arrived the day of their rehearsal dinner. In between shuttling family around and getting everyone settled into their respective cabins, there was also an endless stream of delivery trucks rolling up the driveway. First came the chairs for the ceremony, then the flowers and centerpieces, then the cake and the cases of wine and champagne for each dinner.
For the entire week, Liz was amazingly calm and collected. On Friday morning, though, Tommy found her staring at the dark clouds forming around the mountaintops.
“It’s supposed to storm tonight,” she said, turning to him in dismay. “What if we wake up tomorrow and there’s a foot of snow on the ground?”
“It’s too late in the season,” he assured her. “Even if it does snow, it won’t stick once the sun comes up.”
Liz looked less than convinced. “I just want everything to be perfect.”
Tommy dropped his arm around her shoulders. “It will be.”
Before he knew it, it was late afternoon and it was time to head up to the lodge for the rehearsal. He felt moderately anxious as he reached for his suit, but it wasn’t until he was tying the knot in his tie that he noticed how much his hands were shaking.
Of course your hands are shaking. You’re getting married tomorrow. Everyone gets nervous before their wedding. It’s only natural.
With that reassurance in mind, he exited his cabin and made the short walk to the lodge. The guest list for the rehearsal dinner was right at twenty people–their bridal party, their immediate families, and the Parsons’ old Reverend from Nebraska. He’d married Liz’s parents thirty years earlier and he was a close friend of the family, so Tommy saw no reason to object when she said that she wanted him to perform their wedding ceremony.
He entered the lodge through the kitchen and found Ryan and his groomsmen huddled around a bottle of Scotch. “Starting without me?” he asked.
“Waiting for you,” Jeff answered, sliding a shot glass in Tommy’s direction. “Getting nervous yet?”
“Nah.”
Everyone laughed at the flimsy lie. Tommy chuckled, too, and dropped his gaze to the bottle. “Wow,” he added when he noticed the label. “Nice choice.”
“Don’t thank me,” Jeff said. “Thank your best man.”
Tommy met Alec’s gaze and found a genuine smile on his face. “Congratulations,” Alec said, giving Tommy’s shoulder a squeeze before he raised his glass high above the table. “To you and Liz.”
“To you and Liz!” his friends echoed.
They drained their shots in unison and Tommy set his glass down, deciding it was the best whiskey he’d ever tasted. “Sure you don’t want to change your mind?” Jake teased. “We could take the Scotch and head into town and toast to your wise decision to enjoy the single life forever.”
He’d been making similar comments all week, and Tommy’s response was always the same–a lethal glare. “Give it up, Jake,” Ryan said. “Looks like we’ve lost another one.”
Jake gave Tommy’s cheek an affectionate slap. “Why so glum, buddy? You’re getting married. We should celebrate!”
He chuckled as Jake poured everyone another round and lifted his glass in a second toast. “To Tommy and Liz. May today be just the first day in a long and happy life together.”
Tommy stared at his friend in surprise. “I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said about us.”
“Thanks. I’ve been practicing it all week.” Jake drained his shot in record speed and dramatically slammed the glass down. “Alright,” he added as he turned for the double doors. “Let’s get this catastrophe over with.”
Everyone watched in amused silence as he disappeared through the doorway. “Remind me again why you chose him to be one of your groomsmen?” Jeff asked.
Tommy grinned and took a slow, savory sip of his Scotch. “He’s always good for a laugh.”
Chapter 33
A cool breeze whistled past the patio as Tommy, Alec, and Jeff exited the lodge. Rows of white chairs formed a long aisle that faced the magnificent snowcapped peaks of the Tetons. Storm clouds were still building around the mountaintops, but they didn’t appear to be moving closer yet.
Liz stood beside the podium with her family and bridesmaids, looking radiant in her airy yellow sundress. At the same time she also looked frazzled, nodding at something the Reverend said while casting anxious glances at the clouds.
The second her eyes landed on Tommy, though, her entire face lit up. “Hi,” she greeted.
“Hi,” he echoed, leaning in to give her a quick kiss.
“I haven’t gotten to that part yet,” the Reverend joked.
Everyone laughed as Tommy secured an arm around Liz’s shoulders. “Are we almost ready?”
“I think so,” she replied. “We’re just waiting for Rebecca.”
“Where is she?”
“She ran up to the farmhouse to get me some aspirin. I’ve got a pounding headache.”
Automatically Tommy reached up to massage her neck. “I’m sorry, babe.”
She gave an appreciative smile. “I’ll be alright. It’s just been such a long week.”
The sound of heels clicking across the patio momentarily diverted Tommy’s attention. He turned his head to see Rebecca scurrying towards them, looking more than a little frazzled herself.
“Here,” she said breathlessly, holding out a small white bottle. “This should help.”
“Thanks.” Liz untwisted the cap and dumped two pills into her hand. “I just need some water–”
“I’ll get you a glass,” her cousin volunteered, already heading towards the lodge.
Liz glanced at the Reverend. “I’m sorry we’re taking so long.”
“It’s alright, my dear. Every wedding is like this.”
When the girls were finally ready, they filed into the lodge to line up for their procession down the aisle. Alec, Jeff, and Jake stood near the podium and Tommy took his place beside them, trying to calm his pounding heart.
It’s just the rehearsal. It’s not the real thing yet.
Then why on earth did he feel so edgy?
“Wait,” he said, turning to Alec. “Do you have the rings?”
Alec smiled. “I have the rings.”
Tommy couldn’t help but smile, too, as he turned his attention back to the lodge. They’d shared the same interchange at Alec’s wedding rehearsal, except this time their roles were reversed.
His train of thought came screeching to a halt when the music sounded over the speakers and a lone figure emerged from the lodge. Did he know that Rebecca was going to be the first one to walk down the aisle? If he did he’d forgotten, or maybe he hadn’t stopped to consider what his reaction would be.
All of a sudden, it was three years earlier and he was standing beside Alec, watching Rebecca float down the aisle towards them. He’d stood there with his heart breaking, willing her to tear her eyes off Alec and look his way…just once.
But she hadn’t.
Today, though, she wasn’t looking at Alec. At first her eyes were focused on the podium as she glided between the rows of empty chairs. Then she dropped her gaze to the orchids in her hands before she lifted her eyes and looked directly at Tommy. He stared back at her unblinking, feeling that old familiar ache in his chest, and when her smile brightened it shattered his heart all over again.
No.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. Today was about him and Liz. The rest of his life was about him and Liz. All week long he’d scarcely given a thought to Rebecca. He’d finally convinced himself that the past was the past and that he was fully ready to embrace his future with Liz.
Now he realized that he truly had become a master of deception…because he’d managed to deceive even himself.
Rebecca, of course, had no way of knowing what he was thinking. She smiled at Alec and Jeff, too, before she gracefully spun on her heel and took her place on the opposite side of the podium. Allison began her journey down the aisle, but Tommy wasn’t watching her. He studied Rebecca’s expression intently, trying to match the smile on her lips to the events of the past several months.
After all, he knew better than anyone what it was like to put up a façade. Was that what Rebecca was doing now?
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