This time, he cranked his arm way back and tossed it beyond the waves. A pelican was flying low, cruising the shallow water, and crashed down. He came up with the black rubber object he must have thought was a fish. Damon followed the trajectory of the pelican and saw the bird drop it in the dunes some distance from him and flew away.
He looked back at the ocean. He could throw things like that all day long, and that damned ocean would just return it every time. He was playing a surreal game of fetch with an inanimate object.
The ocean didn’t react to the sight of the pelican carrying his flip-flop away. She just continued to roll, showing her soft lacy white underbelly, hissing at him, teasing him with the certainty that between the two of them, she was the more constant.
And she’d win every time.
Chapter 6
What was she expecting?
She had predicted how he’d be. She knew it was going to be a waste of time, but she went anyway.
Why?
Still, it was nice that she gave him the chance. That part of it was good. She’d stood her ground, and he didn’t make her shake like she used to. Seeing him so flawed didn’t make their situation any better, but it helped her to understand that Damon was just doing the best he could. He didn’t have the capacity to do anything else. It lessened some of the anger she felt towards him.
Choices, choices. Everything is about choices.
Her mood brightened, and her energy was back. All afternoon, she stocked up on food for the week She’d bought pens, pencils, and school supplies for her classroom from a big box store and finally stopped to buy herself some flowers from the little Latino lady around the corner from her house. She bought pink roses and scented tuberoses, to match the ones in her bouquet sitting in water in her kitchen.
She thought about Kaitlyn and Greg on their honeymoon in the Caribbean. That was one part of the world she had yet to explore and decided to check out some inexpensive vacation packages for Christmas break.
Now that she’d lost her traveling buddy, she would have to be on the lookout for another teacher friend to travel with.
Her telephone rang. It was Kaitlyn’s mom, Mrs. Carrington.
“Well, hello there. You must be exhausted.”
The older woman chuckled. “I think I surprised everyone. Kaitlyn’s uncle and some of the cousins are passed out all over the house. They can’t believe I’m still going strong. Of course, I didn’t do any of the heavy lifting, and that’s the secret.”
“But you must have been the organizer,” Martel added.
“Oh my, she hired this wedding planner who didn’t know the first thing about running a business. She knew about weddings and was great with suggestions and creativity. But getting all the moving parts to work together? That talent was seriously lacking.”
“It turned out beautifully. Such a lovely wedding.”
“Thank you. I was pleased too.”
“So, what’s on your mind?” Martel asked.
“Oh, I can’t help it. I was feeling a tad bit lonely, to be honest with you. I was hoping you wouldn’t mind.”
Mrs. Carrington did sound tired.
“I’m all ears. Do you have any last-minute details you weren’t able to finish? I have school tomorrow, but if you need help with anything, I’d be happy to give you a hand later on, or perhaps after school tomorrow.”
“No, Carl and the family did a great job with all that. The tables, chairs, linens, and dishes are back at the rental company.
“Based on your flowchart, no doubt.”
She chuckled again. “How did you know?”
“Kaitlyn has told me how smart you are. And organized. Said you could have run a large company if you’d wanted to.”
“I don’t know about that. I was rather proud that I didn’t blow up at the planner.”
“There’s a talent to that. My mother’s father was a minister. He was one of those guys who had mastered the lost art of getting people, and volunteers at that, to work together. Every church he ran split into factions when he left.”
“He sounds like a wonderful man.”
“He was. I spent a lot of time around him. So what else is on your mind, Mrs. Carrington?”
“Heavens, call me Phyllis. I keep thinking you’re speaking about my mother-in-law when you call me Mrs. Carrington.”
“Phyllis, it is then.” Martel waited.
“I take it Kaitlyn told you about their news?”
“Yes. She told me just before the ceremony. I’m happy for them, aren’t you?”
“I’m happy if Kaitlyn’s happy. I’m just glad her grandmother isn’t alive to see it. She would never have understood.”
Martel felt the hairs at the back of her neck stiffen. “She’ll make a wonderful mother, Phyllis. She’s in love with her husband, and I can see he’s devoted to her. Bringing a little one into the world under those circumstances seems like exactly the right thing to do.”
“You’re probably right.”
“Aren’t you excited to be a grandmother?”
Phyllis paused.
“Phyllis?”
“I may not make it that far, Martel. May I share something personal with you?”
“I’d be honored.”
“I’m being told to get my affairs in order. My doctor says to do it quickly because there’s no telling how long I will feel healthy enough to do so. I’m really being very stubborn about it.”
“Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry. How I hate that word. I think they should just outlaw it, don’t you?”
“I completely agree.”
“There’s this little girl Phyllis in me standing in the mirror with her hands on her hips frowning and saying ‘no!’ She’s a very nasty little girl, denying my illness and my lack of a future. That little girl is giving me fits, Martel.”
It wasn’t what Martel had expected to hear. “So this means you haven’t told Kaitlyn yet, is that right?”
“That’s exactly right. I don’t know if I want to. I don’t know if I want to tell the family either.”
Martel was alarmed. “But you should. You should be honest with them. Otherwise, don’t you think it might make them angry? You’d be robbing them of the time they’d like to spend with you. You’re taking that choice away from them. Do you really think that’s fair?”
“I wish you weren’t right, Martel. How did you get to be so wise?”
“I’ve made all the mistakes there are to make first. You’re talking to someone who is deeply flawed and probably always will be.”
“Well, I don’t see it.”
“Good. I’ve been working on my technique.”
Both women laughed. Her eyes teared up all of a sudden.
“You know, I used to talk to my mother like this, all the time. I miss the connection I had with her. I could tell her anything, and she’d still love me. She wasn’t always happy with it, but I always felt loved. Thank you for reminding me.”
“Sounds like your mother and I could have been best friends. That was lovely, Martel. Thank you.”
Martel felt something shift inside her chest. It had been so long since she’d cherished anything, felt like she truly loved someone and was loved in return. She let her tears fall without stopping to wipe her face. She made a bold decision.
“I have something I’ve not told anyone except my mother, Phyllis. With your permission, should I tell you?”
“Well, I’ll answer you the same as you did. I’d be honored.”
She took a deep breath. “I got pregnant at nineteen and gave my baby up for adoption. It’s been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I think about her every day. I can’t stop thinking about her.”
“Oh, sweetheart. You’re carrying that burden all alone?”
“That’s the way it has to be. Now you know why I’m so happy for Kaitlyn and Greg. I never had that choice.”
“You mean the father didn’t want anything to do with the baby?”
/>
“Or me.”
“Oh honey. I have a gun. Can I kill this man?”
Martel laughed at the dark humor. “Not if I get him first.”
“How old would she be, if I may ask?”
“Almost ten. I’ve had no contact with her or the parents who adopted her, and that was the choice my mother encouraged me to make before she died. She never got to meet my daughter before she passed.”
“I can’t imagine a man who would give up his responsibilities like that. That’s just unforgivable.”
“I never told him, Phyllis.”
The silence on the end of the line made her nervous.
“Why?”
“He just left. He left without saying anything.”
“That’s unforgivable.”
“I agree.”
“Do you ever intend on seeing her?”
“I don’t know if I can, based on how we handled the private adoption. But your secret is similar, don’t you think? That’s why I’m conflicted on whether or not I should tell him.”
“You know this man?”
“I met him again a few days before the wedding. And he wants—” She wasn’t sure how to finish the sentence.
“He wants to have a second chance?”
“I think so. Maybe. He’s trying hard. I suspect that if he knew what I’d done, he wouldn’t want anything to do with me. You see my dilemma?”
“I think you gave me the answer, Martel. You told me I should tell Kaitlyn about the seriousness of my health issues. What he did to you was unforgivable. So is not telling him, especially since you’ve now been given a chance to.”
She thought about their conversation all afternoon and into the evening. Phyllis had told her she had to make up her mind what she wanted. The decisions she and her mother had made to send her to Oregon during her pregnancy and then to give the baby up for adoption could not be reversed. She was convinced that it was the best solution for her daughter.
But with respect to Damon, some of her animosity toward him had dissipated, now that he demonstrated his willingness to change. It would be a stretch to see them having a true second chance at love, but was there the space for her to let him try? She had to admit that she’d made choices without telling him, thereby robbing him of being part of those choices. It was too late for that now. But was it truly too late for a second chance with Damon?
Did her anger cloud those decisions? Could she have reached out and somehow found him, even after he’d left? Or did her pride affect the outcome she chose?
She decided the answer to those questions was yes.
That outcome years ago had also changed the life of their daughter. Good or bad, that fell squarely on her shoulders. And so was the choice before her now. If it was possible, should she turn away?
Her fingers were shaking when she picked up her cell and dialed that number he’d called from. He picked it up before there was a second ring.
“Damon, I’ve been thinking. Could I have a do-over?”
“You know the answer to that, Martel. You don’t even have to ask.”
“Just so we’re clear, could we maybe just be friends, talk to each other? I don’t want the whole thing. I just want to be friends without benefits.”
“I’ll take that. I’ll take it any way you want.”
“No strings. No expectations. No sex.”
He cleared his throat. “Is that healthy?”
“Okay then, I’m hanging up, Damon.”
“I get it. I really do. No sex. Just friends and see where it takes us.”
“Exactly.”
“How do you want to do this, Martel?”
“I’ll fix dinner. Tomorrow night?”
“We’ll watch the sunset, and then I’ll leave.”
“I can live with that.”
“Okay then. And, Martel, thank you.”
“Don’t say that yet. You haven’t tasted my cooking.”
She texted him her address and hung up.
What have I just done?
Chapter 7
Damon was up early and took a run with Renny.
“I got to hand it to you, Demon Seed. You clearly have the touch.”
“Don’t say that. You’ll jinx it.”
“God forbid.” Renny muffled a whistle when two lovelies bounced their way along the beach and right into their fantasies.
“I can’t unsee that,” Damon said.
“I wouldn’t believe you if you said you could. Contrary to what the priest told me growing up, looking is not a sin.”
“But you’re single.”
Renny stopped abruptly. “Whoa there, cowboy. You just wait a fuckin’ minute. You’re having dinner with your ex and a mighty fine ex at that. You picking out wedding bands and shopping for tuxes already?”
“I didn’t say that. Besides, I’ve got this under control,” Damon said as he ran away from Renny. It didn’t take long for him to catch up.
“Just what the fuck are you doing? You’re like that guy who keeps putting his dick in the electrical socket to see if it will plump up a bit.”
“Trust me. I know what I’m doing. We’re taking it slow.”
“And that means you’re single. You look. You’re a red-blooded male. That’s what we do. That’s what we’re supposed to do. It’s an ancient rite. We get to be all full of testosterone and make them want to drop their drawers and have babies. It’s human nature.”
“Where did you get all this crazy shit, Renny? I’m learning a whole new side of you.”
“You know, I seriously don’t think you’ve been paying attention to me. Like ever. I told you there was something about her.”
“Martel. Her name’s Martel.”
“The missing link.”
“You’re making me think of an anthropology class I had to take once.”
“Now that’s not a pretty picture. You like hairy girls, Damon?”
He laughed. It didn’t matter what Renny told him this morning. Nothing was going to dampen his mood. She’d opened the door to him just a crack. It was all he needed. He felt like he was twenty years old again, so distracted by her beauty he walked into things all the time.
“As a matter of fact, she’s part Native American, and she has very little hair.”
“It could all be an act. Women get waxed. Men get clipped.”
They both stopped running and looked at each other. “Ew,” they said in unison.
They began running again. “At least you’re thinking about it. That’s a good sign. Just listen to your Uncle Renny, like you didn’t do with Charlene. Remember I gave you all that advice?”
“Which advice would that be, Renny?”
“Remember when I told you she liked to spend money? Did you listen? No. Not until your credit cards piled up to over a hundred thousand dollars. Remember I told you when she maxed them out she’d be gone?”
“Yeah, but cutting up the credit cards doesn’t work, Renny. They mail new ones.”
“You close the accounts.”
“And she gets new ones. New joint ones.”
“I told you she was always looking in the mirror, checking herself out. She liked for people to like looking at her, and later on—”
Damon stopped again. “Just shut up, Renny.”
“Just trying to be helpful.”
They continued their jog.
“I’m not sure what kind of advice you’re giving me on Martel.”
“She’s got good spirits, Damon. She’s got you being nice to Julie. Her influence on you is to be a better man. She makes you stand up tall when she comes into the room. She makes you feel good.”
“I can hardly wait for the advice.”
“My advice is not to let her go. She has something you need. Something you didn’t even know you needed. That thing that makes you excited to be alive, not wallowing in your mistakes. It’s very simple, Damon. Charlene? Mistake! Martel? Go for it, and don’t fuckin’ let her go.”
All the ta
lk about body hair had Damon convinced he needed a haircut and a professional shave.
“I have just the right guy. Greg told me about him. The guy lost his hand in Desert Storm. He cuts hair with a hook.”
“No way.”
“Swear to God!”
“I’m not sure I’d want him around sharp blades, Renny.”
“Oh, he does shaves. Greg said he’s got a cute little Russian gal who does body waxing if you want that, though.”
“Men get their bodies waxed?”
“Fuckin’ A. My ex demanded it for the honeymoon.”
“Did it make a difference?”
“Not to me. I guess she liked it. Cost around two hundred bucks too. And three days out, man, did I itch. Little stubble all over the place, you know, in your crotch, under your arms.”
“Wait, you got your crotch and underarms waxed?”
“I did. And I can honestly say I will never do it again.”
“Renny, why do I listen to you?”
“You don’t, remember? That’s what started all this conversation.”
Sure enough, the one-armed barber did a perfect job with the haircut and shave. He also recommended a local tattoo parlor so Damon could have Charlene’s initials altered.
He put on his one good tropical shirt, his freshly washed jeans, and Renny’s flip-flops and headed out the door.
“How did you get a pelican to abscond with your flip-flops?”
“It’s a very long story and I haven’t got the time.”
Renny came over and gave him a manly hug. “I’m rooting for you, painless. She says she just wants to be friends, just do that. Make her beg for it, man! You want her so wet and horny she’ll be riding your gear shift lever and looking in the kitchen for the turkey baster. Be that guy she wants. That gentleman. I know it’s hard, but try for it. I’ll bet in one or two dates, you two will forget you were separated for ten years. You’ll forget about Charlene, and Lydia, and that Candy chick, the dancer at Lonnie’s?”
“Oh yeah. With the basketball tits.”
“You’ve made, by and large, some good decisions, Damon. You just need to clean it up a bit. You get happy, she gets happy. You keep her happy, and you have a good life. You won’t have to get waxed or buy her anything fancy or give her credit cards to keep her around. Hell, she might even do housework now and then!”
Second Chance SEAL: The Girl He Left Behind (Sunset SEALs Book 2) Page 6
