by K. L. Donn
She had these amazing men on her side, men who she was insanely attracted to, and she was positive that they would do anything for her. That they wanted to be with her, and the feeling was entirely mutual, but until she found out who she was, none of them could act on it.
“Pepper?” She heard Nick call her name, and she cringed. She didn’t feel like a Pepper.
“How can that be me when it doesn’t feel like me?” Did she even make sense?
They obviously had no idea what to say to her. All they’d been doing the last few days was trying to figure out who she was and where she belonged. Now, they finally had a name for her, and it just didn’t feel right. She didn’t feel right.
“What is wrong with me?” she whispered, more to herself than them.
Heat at her back cocooned her in warmth as hands rested on her hips. “Nothing’s wrong with you,” Ace whispered from her right side.
“This won’t be easy,” Nick told her from her left. “Right now, you’re a new woman. The old Pepper, the Pepper of a week ago, is gone.” The truth of his words had her breath stalling in her chest. “This new Pepper, though, she’ll show you her strength, her weakness, the real her. She’s going to amaze you…us.” He turned her to the side to face him, strength in his eyes, the sincerity of his words washed over her. “The new Pepper will never be who she used to be. You’re going to have to turn her into what you want, not what you think she has to be.”
“I can’t just change who I am.” Could she?
“Says who?” Ace scoffs.
It was a lot to take in. With no idea of her past identity, would it really be so bad to become the person she perceived herself to be?
“Crap,” she murmured aloud.
Lying in bed later that night, Nick still couldn’t shake the pain he’d seen lingering in Pepper’s eyes when she heard her own name. He couldn’t begin to imagine how it felt to not feel like himself. Not recognizing his name was unimaginable.
The lack of answers was getting to her. He could see her frustration increase the more time that passed. The dream she’d had about her parents’ death had really been what impacted her, though. The pain in her voice as she’d explained it to him had him restless. He couldn’t sit around and do nothing. They had to find new information soon, or he had a feeling they would all be going crazy. Spending some time away from the cabin might raise their spirits some, too.
As Sheriff, he was never off duty, but he figured taking a few personal hours in the next day or two couldn’t hurt, and he and Ace could take Pepper on a hike. Show her the real beauty of the mountains after a fresh snow storm. If her happiness at seeing Rox run around like a fool was any indication of how she might feel, he figured observing the wildlife enjoy mother nature’s power might cheer her up as well.
With a plan in mind, he finally drifted off into what he had hoped would be a peaceful sleep. Turned out he was in for a hell of a nightmare.
Tracking a hunter wasn’t always as easy as it might seem. Nick knew it was his last chance to find the serial killer plaguing their county; unfortunately, his tracks had run dry a few hours ago. That meant he knew Nick was onto his trail or had lost him.
Not wanting to think that he may have lost the man that killed three families, he doubled back. Paying closer attention to the bushes surrounding the trail and hoping to see a drop of blood left behind from the injury he knew the man had sustained. The last family he’d tried attacking was a good friend of Nick’s; a Marine coming home after his third and final tour of duty.
Thankfully, Matt had been there or his friend’s entire family—parents, wife, two children, and two siblings—would have been brutally murdered in their sleep. He had gotten the jump on the intruder and sliced his back open with a kitchen knife.
As soon as Matt lost sight of the guy coming up the mountain, he’d called Nick, aware that he knew the terrain better than almost anyone else in town.
Or he thought he had.
Slowing his tracks down, he finally spotted a broken branch heading east towards where a family of Cougars had been located only a week before. He knew it was a bad idea following the man in, it might even be a trap, but he had to try. Twelve lives demanded he proceed; they deserved justice.
The best they could figure was the guy was a drifter. There was no indication that whoever it was hailed from Golden or any of the surrounding towns.
Slowing his pace as he heard rustling coming from in front of him, shock swept through him like a hurricane as he listened to a baby’s muffled cry. Cursing came from the same direction as he slowly moved closer. Finally reaching the sounds he had picked up, he pulled the rifle off his back, not wanting to chance an attack from one of the cats he knew were out there.
Hiding behind a large tree, he spotted the killer bleeding on a rock. He looked as though his strength was waning.
The baby’s distress sounds would have alerted any animals or people around to their position, so he knew he had to act swiftly. Pulling the small thirty-eight pistol from his ankle strap, he took aim at the man’s head just as a pair of golden eyes reflected back at him.
He had one shot. One choice to make.
The baby’s cry grew louder as the man began to shake her.
“Freeze!” Nick yelled as loud as he could, hoping he might scare the cat off.
Laughter met his order, followed by, “You think you can get to me before the cat?”
“The question is, will my bullet rip through your skull before the cat’s claws gut you?” he countered, needing to believe that baby wasn’t going to die from his mistake.
Another set of glowing eyes made its presence known.
“Looks like none of us are leaving this mountain tonight,” the bastard taunted just before tossing the baby behind him towards Nick. Probably hoping the cats would go for it, and kill Nick and the child in the process. He was wrong.
As soon as the baby left his arms, the cats attacked him. His blood was their incentive. His life was theirs.
“Nick, Nick, wake up!” He could feel hands shaking him. A worried voice was calling for him. His eyes popped open to see Pepper leaning over him, a concerned look on her face. “Are you alright?” she murmured, unmoving.
His voice was gravelly as he answered, “Yeah. I’m good.” The nightmare was one he often had. The baby had lived, and her family moved away from Golden days later. He had no idea where or how they were now.
“Okay,” she murmured, getting up to leave. Impulsively, he reached out, grabbing her hand and pulling her to lay in his arms.
Her head on his chest was soothing, relaxing. He could get used to it. The feel of her soft curves against him was the most peace he’d experienced in a long time.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked, rubbing her hand lightly over his chest. Relaxing him.
Did he want to? It wasn’t anything he could hide. All she had to do was ask someone in town about it. “Small town life, it’s quiet. Nothing more than speeding tickets and jay-walking on most days.”
“That sounds nice,” she sighed.
“It is. No major crimes mean my town is safe. My people are happy,” he responded absently.
“What happened?” Perceptive one she was.
Taking a deep breath, he began his story. “About a year after I was elected Sheriff, there was a drifter in town. I’d never seen him but had a few citizens express concern. Not because of anything he’d said or done, more like a vibe they got from him.” Pausing, he thought about all the things he could have done differently. Top of the list, he should have started looking for the man sooner.
Twirling a lock of Pepper’s dark hair around his finger he continued. “When I started searching for him, it was already too late. He’d slaughtered an entire family while they slept.”
Her sharp intake of breath, the pain vibrating from her in waves for a family she had no idea existed, wasn’t shocking. She was one of the most empathetic people he’d ever met.
“A mot
her, father, newborn baby, a son, even their damn dog. Like they were nothing, he murdered them. For what? A few dollars in pocket change and jewelry that wasn’t worth anything. Two days later, he struck again. Only it was worse. Two families in one night. Twelve people lost their lives because I didn’t listen, because I couldn’t find the son of a bitch.” His voice was hoarse as he finished telling her his biggest failure.
“Nick.” One word, so many emotions. He could feel her tears on his bare chest. “That wasn’t your fault. People do bad things all the time. Look at me, I’m a walking poster child emphasizing that point.”
“I should have known something.” He couldn’t help believing that if only he’d acted sooner, those families would still be alive.
Leaning up to face him, her hand caressed his cheeks, sadness in her eyes. “I wish I could say something to make you believe me.”
He did, too.
“How did you finally catch him?” she asked as he moved her body to lay fully on top of him. He needed to feel her, to have something solid to hold onto as he finished telling her what happened.
“He laid low for about a week after his last attack—deep in the mountains somewhere. I got a call in the middle of the night from an old buddy of mine. He had just come home from his final tour overseas. A man had entered his house, was going to slaughter his entire family, when he attacked him with a kitchen knife.” His thoughts circled back to that baby. “The drifter ran before Matt could grab him, then broke into someone else’s home outside town. When the parents woke to the baby’s crying, he knocked them both out and took the child.”
“Oh God,” she moaned, fear lighting her eyes.
“I was able to follow his blood trail into the mountains. Only problem was that he was headed in the direction of a group of Cougars that had been spotted in the area. The baby’s noises must have alerted them to his presence because by the time I found them, two of the cats had them in their sights. I had a thirty-eight and a rifle; there was no way any of us should have walked off that mountain. We all should have been dead.” He could still hear the man’s screams of pain.
“How did you?” she murmured.
“Honestly? I have no idea. He tossed the baby behind him, so I think he’d hoped the two cats would attack the me and the child while he got away. However, as soon as his arms were free, they attacked him.”
Wonder entered her eyes. “Is that normal?”
“Not at all. They always go for smaller prey, less chance of a fight. It was like they knew what he’d done, or maybe his fear was greater than the baby’s, and they were drawn to that. I have no idea.”
“You obviously got away. The baby, she was okay?”
“Yeah, the parents were rightfully terrified. Moved away a few days later.”
“And the man?”
That was the hard part. “I had to take the baby back to her parents at first light, so two deputies and I went back to look for the body. We never found him. Or the cats. The amount of blood, though, was enough to indicate that he’d died.”
Nick still had so many unanswered questions about that night. Some days, not knowing why so many deaths had to happen and if he could have prevented them ate him alive.
Pepper could feel his pain and confusion. She couldn’t imagine having no answers for something so critical. Hearing his torment over losing three families, she knew he wished it had been him instead. There were things in life they could never control. Sadly, death and life were one of them. It was how a person reacted that counted.
“I’ve always believed that for every bad thing that occurs, there is always one good thing to come from it. I have to believe that because if I don’t, the sorrow will eat me alive. When my parents died, the drunk driver went to prison. He had just left his wife and child to die after such a severe beating that neither should have survived. Miraculously, they did. The police had noticed the driver covered in more blood than was befitting his injuries and that he may have hurt others beforehand. The man thought this was hysterical.”
So much pain and suffering came from that night, but two people were alive because of it. She had to believe that was why her parents had been killed. So the young wife and her son could live.
“Pepper,” the amazement in Nick’s voice had her looking to him, “that was a memory.” Her smile matched his. Excitement flowed through her.
“Thank you,” she said.
“Why?”
“I think my bad situation will bring about more good things. Without your pain, mine might not have been brought forth to remember the most painful experience in my life.”
Running both his hands through her hair, he brought his face towards her. Laying his cheek against hers, he whispered in her ear, “I think you’re my good thing, Pepper.”
As she lay down on his chest, the smile gracing her face at his words followed her into sleep. His beating heart lulled her into slumber.
Maybe forgetting wasn’t so bad if she got to keep two exceptional men.
Waking to heavy breathing in her face, Pepper opened her eyes to see Roxie panting laboriously as if she’d gone for a run. “Hi, sweet girl,” she cooed, petting the animal. If she didn’t know better, she’d swear the dog smiled at the attention.
Touching behind her, the sheet was cold, and she knew Nick had left the bed some time ago. When she woke up the night before, she had been on her way to get a drink when she heard a moan coming from beyond his door. She had only wanted to check on him, make sure everything was all right, but when she saw the sheen of sweat coating his face and neck, she knew he was having a nightmare. Waking him up, she’d been shocked by the torture in his eyes. Hearing his story, she couldn’t imagine the guilt he felt for the families who’d been taken.
Living in a small community, they probably felt safer from the brutality of hardened killers and criminals. Serial killers weren’t nearly as common in Canada as other more populated countries, in fact, they were incredibly rare. For him to have one in his town was a blow to his position of authority within the county.
She felt for him, the pain and anger. She understood it far better than some might. It had been weeks after her parents were killed that she’d found out about the driver’s wife and child. It took her a while, but she’d let go of her anger over the circumstances after that. Choosing to believe, instead, that they were saved because of the tragedy.
Realizing she had just remembered more of her past, of a time period that was particularly painful, she had a pep in her step as she went to shower. Her memories were returning.
Warm water cascaded down her body, and she felt happy, relaxed. The future held promise for her. Nick was right when he told her this was her chance to reinvent herself and be who she wanted to be.
Finished with her shower, she realized she had forgotten to bring fresh clothes into the bathroom with her. Wrapping a large towel around her body, she peeked out the door to make sure the coast was clear. Darting down the hall to her room, she was shocked to see an older man in there putting things in the dresser.
Her scream of fright had him spinning around to face her, shock clear as day on his face. Roxie came darting into the room growling until she saw the man. Then she started whining in excitement, dancing around his legs.
“Well, hi there, miss.” He held out his hand to shake then quickly pulled it back, realizing she only had a towel on. “I’ll go wait in the kitchen while you dress.”
Before she could say anything, he was gone, Roxie hot on his heels. Hurriedly dressing, she searched each room, looking for Ace or Nick before finally making it to the kitchen where the old man was making a fresh pot of coffee.
“Sorry about that,” he apologized, placing a warm mug of coffee in front of her. “I’m Jake Kelly, Nick’s father.”
Still nervous about a new person in the house, especially without one of the guys around. “Umm, I’m Pepper,” she stuttered out, wondering how much he knew about her, or if he knew about her.
�
�It’s a pleasure, Miss Pepper.” His words seemed so sincere. Her silence conveyed her nervousness, so he reassured her. “No worries, dear. The old heart couldn’t handle hurting anyone.” Just like that, they started laughing and chatting like old friends. “I take it the boys never told you I was going to be here?”
“No, they didn’t. I didn’t even know they wouldn’t be here,” she told him, honestly.
“Typical men,” he laughs. “Never tells more than necessary. Nicky said there are some hikers stuck up near Yoho National Park. Shouldn’t be long before they’re back.”
“Does that happen often?” she asked.
“Far more than anyone hears about.” There was laughter in his eyes. “People never listen to the park rangers’ warnings. Always think they know better than anyone else. Nicky likes to give ‘em hell. Casually explain the ramifications of getting lost and being stuck. That boy has a sadistic streak when it comes to stupid people.”
She never would have guessed that, but ultimately, she wasn’t surprised. Nick didn’t seem like the sort of man to put up with foolishness. People believing they knew more than an expert wouldn’t go over well with him.
Looking at his father, she contemplated on whether or not to ask him what he knew about her when he interrupted her thoughts. “Go on, girl, ask whatever’s tearing at your mind.”
“Oh, umm, well. I wondered how much you knew,” he raised an eyebrow at her hesitation, “about me?”
“I know my boys found you near death. I know you ain’t got no memory. And I know both them boys are quite fond of you.”
Silence prevailed after that. It was so awkward meeting the parent before they were even a couple. Which then led her mind into another direction…
Is that what they want with me? To be a couple…or rather a trio?
The way they looked at her with heat in their eyes and need coursing through their rippling bodies would indicate that. It wasn’t as though she didn’t feel the same way. She did. But the whole memory loss situation had really screwed with her. She didn’t feel as if she were in a relationship with anyone. She figured that would be something she’d remember. How could a person forget the feeling of being in love? Or of being loved?
