by Vicki Green
I don’t know how long we stand there, our eyes locked on each other’s. The counter digs into my back but I can’t feel anything but his body against mine. Anxiousness fills me. I lean forward but an inch and press my mouth on his. His arms wrap around me as our kiss ignites into something more. Something explosive. My arms move around his neck, pulling him closer, as his arms around my shoulders bring me to him until our bodies are flush. I feel every muscle, every ridge along his chest and abdomen. Again he stops and presses his forehead against mine, both of us panting for air. “Let me take you away, if only for tonight,” he whispers, looking at me from beneath his long dark lashes. “Let me give you what your heart desires.” His voice is low and raspy. It sends chills down my body as I become wet between my legs.
I’m ready for his kiss, but he surprises me by removing his arms from around me. He takes my hand, and I follow him eagerly. He flips off the kitchen light as we walk through the doorway. I’m expected to go to the hallway then to my room, but suddenly he stops and I almost bump into him. I look up at him and see a warm glow from my peripheral. Turning my head slowly, I hold in my gasp of surprise at all the candles lit around the living room giving off a warm soft glow. He’d moved the coffee table off to the side and laid the comforter from my bed on the floor with my pillows. “Dax,” I whisper. I turn and look at him, tears blurring my vision. “What have you done?”
He turns to me fully and cups my face with his hands, gently, lovingly. His eyes have darkened to near black, the intensity filling me. “You deserve everything.” His eyes search mine, and I feel my tears slowly leave my own eyes and move down my face. He runs his thumbs across my cheeks, taking with them some of my tears. “And more.” His lips touch mine but it’s not frantic, not demanding. It’s sweet, filled with care and gentleness. Such a contradiction to when we first met. I find him confusing, exhilarating, mysterious, and the only man who’s made my heart beat for the first time in my life. The only one who gives me that spark, those tingles, every time he touches me, looks at me. “I want to give you everything your heart desires.” He pecks my mouth then nips at my lower lip. “But right now, all I can give is myself.” That has to be the most selfless thing any man has ever said to me.
Wetness pools between my legs at his words. I push myself against him, grasping onto his large biceps and kiss him hard. My heart is beating so fast, I can feel it in my chest as I kiss him with everything I am. His arms wrap around me, pulling me as he tilts his head, making our kiss harder, deeper, more passionate. Our bodies are flush, and I swear I can feel his racing heartbeat against my chest. I moan, unabashedly, into his mouth, and he holds me tighter, our kiss becoming more heated.
His mouth breaks from mine and he gives me light kisses over to my ear. I feel like I could explode as his warm breath blows across my skin. “I want you so badly,” he whispers, giving me chills when my body is burning with desire. “I want to kiss you all over. Devour you. Taste you. I want to fuck you, claim you, and then I want to make love to you. Slowly. I want you to feel what you do to me.”
I let out a moan, afraid to look into his eyes. Rubbing my legs together to get some kind of friction, I slowly open my eyes. The heat from the intensity coming from his fuels me. His eyes bore into mine as he grasps the hem of my nightgown, slowly lifting it from my body. We only break eye contact when he pulls it over my head. I should feel embarrassed as he peruses my body. But I feel anything but that. He looks as if he could devour me when his eyes travel slowly back up to mine. I think he could destroy me, break my heart until there’s nothing left. I want him. Desire him, like I’ve longed to find him my entire life and finally have.
I watch while he takes a step back, pushing his boxers down over his slim waist. I lick my lips as his length springs free, wondering how in the hell that fit inside me before. His thighs are massive, toned, and muscular as I watch his boxers move over them. I let out a moan and watch him take his hardened cock into his strong hand. He stares into my eyes, unashamed. He strokes himself, running his thumb over the wet tip. “Do you see how you affect me?” He strokes himself harder, still looking into my eyes. “Do you see how much I want you? Long for you.”
He’s killing me, his kind of torture making me burn with desire for him. I want him inside me so badly. “Please,” I whimper, not recognizing myself any longer. “Take me. I’m yours,” I whisper, filled with emotion I can’t explain.
He’s in front of me in one large stride, kissing me so hard I feel he could bruise my lips. His hand cups my breast, a thumb rolling over my hard nipple then he pinches it. I moan into his mouth as our tongues intertwine. Suddenly, our kissing becomes frantic. He puts his arms around me and lifts me into the air. I feel the comforter beneath me. His mouth leaves mine and explores my body, from my neck down to the valley between my breasts. When he sucks a nipple into his mouth, nipping it with his teeth, I arch my back and buck my hips, feeling his length right where I want him. I move my body, feeling the tip of his cock so close to my entrance, trying to urge him inside. He releases my nipple, licking it then blowing across it, making it so hard again. I look down as he looks up at me through those long lashes. “I’m not done with you yet,” he whispers with a smirk. “Patience.”
He continues his journey, kissing down my stomach, leaving tingles with each one. My desire has heated to an inferno, and I clench my legs around him. He looks up at me again and gives me a sexy smile. “Please.” I beg. He moves down until his mouth is on my core. “Oh!” I gasp and buck my hips, pushing myself more against his magical mouth. His hands hold onto my hips, holding me down as he devours me, his tongue moving in and out of my wetness. I moan, loudly, closing my eyes as he moves and nips my aching clit then sucks, hard. Those tingles in my stomach increase in intensity, building until I feel I could release at any moment. “I…” I can’t speak, can’t find the words. Closing my eyes, I fight the urge to let go, but I want to so badly.
“Fuck, woman. You taste so good. So much more than I ever dreamed,” he whispers as he laps at me.
I’m about to combust when I feel his cock push inside me. It feels even bigger than it appeared when he hits exactly the spot that sends my climax to its extreme. I cry out, reaching down and grabbing his head, my fingernails digging into his short hair, against his scalp. His lips are against mine, kissing, nipping until I feel I might never come down again. He pulls out excruciatingly slow but pushes back in with a vengeance, keeping me high above him. Would it be so bad, so wrong, to stay soaring in my release, forgetting everyone and everything? Only concentrating on my feelings for him, letting him fill me and my heart? Flashes of light move in and out behind my eyelids, sparks and tingles flow through me at lightning speed. My eyes open but I can’t see or hear anything. I can only feel him inside me growing, my heart pounding in my chest, the sound filling my ears.
When my vision begins to clear, I feel him tense, his strong arms shaking, struggling to hold himself above me. He spurts inside me then more and more as his entire body starts to shudder. Throwing his head back, his back arched, his eyes close and the most serene look washes over his face. Is that because of me or his release? Did I cause such a reaction or is it just because of his orgasm?
He collapses beside me, his arm thrown over me. I turn my head to find him staring at me. His lips parted as his body still gives a shudder or two. The look in his eyes fills me with such love that it scares me. Can two people feel this fiercely for each other so quickly? He doesn’t speak, just turns and gathers me in his arms. I feel protected, cared for, even loved. My eyes grow heavy, and I feel the need to get up and wash myself, but I’m too tired, too relaxed and sated. He moves, and I feel cool as his warm body leaves mine. I start to drift off, hoping for the best of dreams, when I feel him move me onto my back, but I can’t seem to open my eyes. I feel the warmth of something at my core, cleaning me. I start to drift deeper, nearing sleep, when I feel myself being pulled into his strong arms once again, like a warm cocoon. I fall de
eper into sleep, my dreams beginning.
“Now that I’ve found you, I’ll never let you go.”
14
I’d been with her once, felt like I was almost hallucinating. I found that I couldn’t get enough, would never be enough but I wanted her so badly, ever since I first laid eyes on her. When she came to me in that vision, so long ago, I never dreamed she could be real. I was pretty out of it but I thought she was an angel, taking me away with her. And I would have gone with her, gladly. I could never imagine how she’d taste, or how hard I would cum if I ever got the honor of being inside her. I almost came way before I wanted to. Just the feeling of being inside her, touching her, seeing the look on her face. I managed to hold back, giving her what she needed first but then I came hard. It was the most intense orgasm I ever had but not surprising. My love for her had been building over the years once I’d found she truly existed. I could’ve never imagined how soft her skin is, how her smell and taste overwhelm my senses. How even being near her calms me. She makes me want to be a better person. She makes me want to end what I have to do, leave it behind, and be with her all the time. Being with her, making love to her, cherishing her – it was the best moment of my life.
I hated that I upset her. She thought I was showing her sympathy, and I guess I was. How could I not? How could anyone not feel that knowing what she’s going through? She’d already suffered such loss in her life and now the last person in her family was going to leave her. She didn’t want my sympathy. Doesn’t want to hear anything about what she’s going through. Like maybe not hearing it will make it not real. She’s so much fucking stronger than she realizes. She’s young, vibrant, and has her whole life ahead of her. I know she’s hurting, already feeling her whole world falling apart.
She’s also stubborn and not taking care of herself. I know that’s the last thing on her mind right now. That’s why I’ll be there for her, get her mind off things as best I can, and make sure she eats and stays hydrated. Whenever I can. It’s the least I can do. That and help her dad feel like himself for as long as possible. This I vow.
My phone rings as I get into my car. I smile when I see the number and the smiling face in the photo I’d attached to her contact info. “Little Bit! It’s been too long.” I chuckle when I hear her sigh on the other end.
“Sheesh! You think you’d quit calling me that since I’m ten years old now.”
I can hear the annoyance in her voice yet I know secretly she loves my pet name for her. Always has. I look over my shoulder as I back out of Saige’s driveway, put it in drive, and head down the street. “Oh, you love when I call you that and age doesn’t matter.” I smile as I turn off the street and head towards the nursing home. “You’ll always be my Little Bit.”
Silence, which isn’t like her. I open my mouth to speak when she whispers, so softly I can barely hear her. “When are you coming home? I miss you.” When I almost died and finally went home to finish my recuperation, she begged and pleaded for me to get a normal job and stop living so dangerously. I get why she asked and would have loved nothing better than to be at home with her and Mom, find a decent job, but I had to finish this. Needed to. I couldn’t sleep at night knowing this scumbag was still alive and out there killing more innocent victims.
Home.
It’s actually only about two and a half hours from here but I haven’t been home for well over a year. It’s hard. Hard on me but even harder on them. Mom understands. Mom hides her anxiety over what I do fairly well. It’s been the toughest on Little Bit. When I started all this, she was too young to understand and when I got hurt, almost losing my life, she became hysterical. After that, I did my best to explain in a simple way but it didn’t make any difference. All she could think about was that I almost died. Now that she’s a little older, she understands a bit better but she begs me to quit. Soon, Little Bit. Soon.
“I miss you too. So much.” Silence but I can hear her breathing. “I hope it’ll be very soon, sweetheart. I think about you every second of the day.” She sighs. “Look, I have to go to work but I’ll call you soon, okay?”
“Promise?” I hear a quiver in her voice, and it hurts my heart.
“I promise,” I say confidently. I keep my promises.
“Okay. Love you.” Her voice is still sad but I know she says it with sincerity.
“I love you more than the clouds in the sky,” I reply, something I used to tell her at night when she was young before she’d go to sleep.
“And I love you more than the stars,” she says with a lift in her voice.
I hang up feeling sad but happy. Is it weird to feel both emotions together?
I pull into the nursing home parking lot, ready to start my day. I climb out of my car, and look around. I have to be careful not to blow my cover. I’m so close to uncovering and apprehending the last in that vicious gang. Three years it’s taken me and not without almost losing my life in the process. The only good that’s come out of it was Saige coming to me in the vision as I laid near death’s door. She’s the only thing that pulled me through. It was sad when they took me away from her before I got a chance to find out her name at the hospital, taking me to a place where I could heal without the fear that the man who got away would find me and finish the job.
And with that, I dread that I must go away again tomorrow, this time overnight. I’ll make sure to take care of her dad first and check up on her before I go. I just hope one of these times when I’m gone, this will all be over and I can go on with my life. And keep her out of danger. I’ll do anything to protect her but selfishly, I can’t let her go.
15
I awoke to feeling soreness between my legs, reminding me what happened last night. I didn’t want to open my eyes, knowing in my gut he was gone. Instead, I lie here, smiling. My hands fist the covers up by my neck as I remember the dinner he cooked, the candles glowing around the living room, the makeshift bed using my comforter and pillows, and his magnificent body as he removed his clothes. I’ve never seen anyone so sexy. I’ve never had a man stand in front of me, stroking himself while telling me how much he wants me. Never has a man taken me by such surprise, sparked my emotions so utterly, given himself to me in such a way that it fills my heart and deep, deep down in my soul. Never has a man wanted to take care of me, hold me, and make me cum so hard. Never has a man wanted to pleasure me in the way Dax does.
The extreme urge to go to the bathroom forces me to open my eyes. But I’m not on the living room floor. I’m in my bed in my bedroom. I don’t even remember him bringing me in here. Does it bother him that I’ve been sleeping in Dad’s bed? It is a bit strange, I suppose. I feel closer to Dad there. It helps me with all this going on. Maybe Dax doesn’t understand that. Or maybe he’s trying to help you overcome it. Looking to my left, my suspicions are correct. He’s gone. Letting out a sigh, I push the covers back only to hear the crinkle of paper. My mouth lifts into a smile and my heart begins to speed up. I turn and see the note, my face aching from how big my smile is. Picking it up, I squirm into the mattress, the need to use the bathroom almost becoming overwhelming. I let out a small laugh as I read it and then sigh when I finish.
Eat today!
More than an orange!
Something substantial!
I’ll know
p.s. I miss you already
I run my finger over his words. Down. Down. Until I’ve reached the last letter on the page. The p.s. hits me hard. He misses me. I wish he could stay, let me awaken in his strong arms, make love in the morning – have more time. He makes me not want to eat just so he’ll cook for me again. Why does this whole situation with him feel so wrong yet so right? Why do I feel like a schoolgirl again, feeling the giddiness of a first crush? But then why do I feel like I’m living on danger’s cusp with a bad-boy who is sending me so many signals to run then to stay? Then I think of him in his scrubs, how they fit over his toned body and large muscles. That isn’t the only thing that’s large. The sound of my giggle is so f
oreign to me. When was the last time I laughed? Felt at ease enough to do that? He does that to me. He takes everything away when I’m with him or even thinking of him. Is that wrong? Dad’s going through so much. Am I allowed to feel any kind of happiness when he’s stuck in a nursing home waiting to become a shadow of a man?
Dropping the note on the bed, I rush into the bathroom to relieve myself, now feeling down and a little ashamed. I know Dad would want me to be happy, that I’d have someone to help me get through this. Guilt. Yes, that’s what I feel. Guilty to be on the outside, not having this horrible thing that takes away memories you’ve stored all your life. This thing that causes your untimely… No. I refuse to think about that. I won’t give up one single second thinking about that. I need to be with him, make new memories, and try to hold onto him for as long as I can.
After taking a shower, making sure to wash a few areas extra but smiling the entire time, I brush my hair and teeth and apply a little makeup, just enough to help cover my tired eyes and the bags forming underneath them. I decide to go to the kitchen and cut up all the fruit I have left, making a mental note to go to the store today for more and make the salad I told him I’d bring. My phone rings on the counter and I quickly pick it up, hoping it’s Dax. I’m saddened when I see it’s the hospital, reminding me I needed to call them to ask about starting work.
