by Lisa Mills
“Kevin, I don’t know how I’ll ever thank you enough for this.”
He cocked his head and studied her with an amused look. “Well, I could use some new business cards.”
She laughed. “You get new business cards for life.”
A slow smile spread across his face, and his eyes took on a flirtatious glint. “That sounds promising.”
The implication behind her words suddenly hit her. Blushing, she closed the box and tucked it back in the gift bag. She hadn’t meant to give him the impression—
She stopped the thought before it had fully formed. Why not? They’d been “taking it slow” for six weeks, and each day he became more dear to her. Her fear of being hurt by him had faded, washed away by his steadfast love and tender care. Why not let him know her feelings for him were growing deeper? Wasn’t it time?
Feeling bold, she leaned close to him and brushed a kiss across his lips. His mouth was warm and inviting and she had to fight to keep herself from staying there too long. Slowly, she pulled back and looked into his face. “Thanks, Kevin. It’s amazing. Best gift I ever got.”
He tilted his head, corners of his mouth tipping upward in a sly grin. “I should have bought you a new computer a lot sooner.”
~ ~ ~
Danielle clung to Kevin’s hand, drawing courage from the touch, as they walked toward the consultation room on the fourth floor. Trevor had undergone some major tests earlier in the week to determine his prognosis, and Danielle figured the doctor wanted to discuss them. She felt as if she’d been riding on a very narrow ledge, teetering between life and death, happiness and despair, waiting for a moment like this to push her one way or the other.
Facing that moment had her heart pounding hard enough to break her ribs. Ten weeks had passed since the transplant process began, seven months since Trevor’s first diagnosis. In that time, she’d born her share of bad news. Surely she was due for something better. At least this time she didn’t have to face it alone.
Kevin squeezed her hand and smiled when she looked up at him. “It’s going to be okay. I can feel it.”
She was glad he could feel it. All she could feel was the weakness in her knees and her lunch threatening to make a second, less glamorous appearance. They made the final turn of the journey and came upon the door they were looking for.
The doctor was already inside. He waved them in, thumbing through an array of manila folders, each one representing a child’s life … or a slow, painful death. She wondered which sentence Trevor would receive.
Kevin seated her in one of the chairs then lowered himself into the other. Though he tried not to act nervous, she noted the way he rubbed his hands down his pant legs, then clasped his fingers tight enough to make the color bleed out of his knuckles.
“So?” she asked. “How did the tests go?”
The doctor sat down at the table and smiled at them. “Those long faces aren’t necessary. It’s good news.”
Danielle’s heart fluttered. “How good?”
The doctor snatched a piece of paper from his desk and held it up. “The best. His bone marrow biopsy shows that his body has begun making marrow and it’s healthy marrow. No blasts that we could find.”
“He’s going to recover?” A little sob escaped her lips, and tears flooded her eyes.
The doctor set the paper down and leaned back in his chair. “We’ll have to watch him carefully, of course. But his chances are excellent.”
A tidal wave of relief hit so hard it shook her. Kevin’s arm slipped around the back of her chair, and she leaned against his side, the heavy shackles of fear tumbling away and leaving her feeling light-headed and free.
“Thank you!” She swiped at her damp lashes.
The doctor smiled and pulled off his glasses. “If he continues to recover without infection or other complications, he can go home in a month or so. We’ll talk more about that in a few weeks, but I wanted you to know the end is in sight. I’m sure you’re eager to get back to your lives.”
Kevin turned to her, his eyes glowing with a promise that made her stomach quiver. “You don’t know the half of it.” He stood and shook the doctor’s hand. “Thank you. We’re going to tell Trevor the news.”
~ ~ ~
“Have you been outside today?” As Kevin spoke, his chest rumbled against her side. She snuggled deeper into the comforting contact. They’d fallen into the habit of winding down the evening in quiet conversation, nestled together on the sofa, enjoying one another’s company after Trevor fell asleep. It was her favorite time of day.
Danielle glanced toward the windows, noting the last remnants of a sunset fading from the horizon. “No. Was it as nice as it looked?”
“Gorgeous Indian Summer day.”
“Trevor was restless. I stayed in and tried to keep him occupied. He’s getting a bad case of cabin fever.”
“How about you? You tired of being cooped up here?”
She rolled her shoulders, trying to ease the tightness in them. “Yes, definitely. I’m counting the days until we’re out of here.”
Kevin pushed off the couch and held his hands out to her. “Why don’t we go for a walk outside … get some air?”
“Now? It’s almost dark.” Despite her protests, she took his hands and let him pull her to her feet.
Kevin smiled in his enticing way. “Come on, it’ll be fun. We’ll make a few laps around the courtyard. You need to get out.” He backed toward the door, pulling her along with him.
“Okay, okay. Let me grab my coat.” They pulled on light jackets and after a last glance at Trevor, slipped out of the room. The elevator and corridors were quiet, visiting hours over and everyone settling in for the night. The doors to courtyard whooshed open, and the scent of fall greeted Danielle’s nose. She dragged in a deep breath of cool October air and stepped out into a beautiful night.
“Wow, it’s gorgeous out here.”
Kevin took her hand and led her down the path, setting a leisurely pace that allowed her to enjoy the stroll and the feel of his hand wrapped around hers. Dried leaves crunched under their feet, adding their music to the chirping of crickets and the whisper of a breeze ruffling branches overhead. He led her to the far end of the courtyard and stopped to glance back over his shoulder.
“Take a look at that.”
She turned to see what had caught his attention and spotted the moon hanging just above the hospital’s roofline, swollen to three times its usual size and glowing a vibrant shade of orange. “It’s lovely.”
He moved behind her and slid his arms around her waist, cocooning her in his warmth and strength. She wrapped her arms over his and leaned against his chest, head tipped back to admire the brilliant array of stars dotting a navy velvet sky. The peace of the night soaked into her soul.
“A moon and stars like that really makes a man think.”
She let a moment pass in silence, enjoying the feel of his chest rising and falling against her back, before she answered. “Think about what?”
He hugged her a little tighter. “The future.”
“Mmm. Sounds interesting. What about the future?”
His arms loosened enough to turn her until she faced him. “I was thinking about the future Mrs. Sutherland, how I’d like to give her the moon and the stars, make her the happiest woman on the planet.”
Surprise swept through her, followed by a flutter of nerves in her stomach.
“I was going to wait to do this, but I’ve waited months already. I want you to know how I feel.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring … a very sparkly ring with a huge round diamond taking center stage.
“Eight years ago when I came back and found out you were gone, it almost tore me apart. When I saw you open your parents’ front door that first day a few months back, I wanted to drop to my knee on the spot and beg you to be my wife so I’d never lose you again.” He did drop to one knee then, taking her hands into his and caressing them gently.
She blinked away
tears and focused on his handsome face, filled with tenderness.
“Dani, I love you. I’ve never stopped loving you.” He lifted the ring and held it out to her. “I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy, taking care of you, waking up to your pretty face, and hearing your sweet laughter in my home. Be my wife, Dani. Make me the happiest man alive.”
The world around them faded away until she was aware only of his warm brown eyes and the adoration shining from them. She had witnessed the depth of his love for her. His devotion had been unfailing, his goodness more than she deserved. Her feelings for him were clear. “Yes. I’ll marry you Kevin Sutherland.”
Her hand trembled as he slid the ring gently onto her finger. He stood and pulled her into his arms, claiming her lips in a searing kiss that made her glad to be a woman. She curled her arms around his neck and tugged him closer, loving the way he made her feel.
After a long kiss full of promise, he eased back and rested his forehead against hers. His breath came harder than a moment before. Chemistry had never been in short supply between them, and she was glad that hadn’t changed. When he opened his eyes and looked at her again, she saw a well of joy bubbling in their depths.
“So you’ll marry me?”
“Yes,” she assured him. “Definitely, yes.”
He gave her a heated look that made her blush. “Soon?”
His tone, his eyes, lit a fire in her middle and spread languid heat through her body. “How soon?”
He ran his hand up and down her back, tracing the lines of her curves. “The sooner the better, I’d say.”
She cocked her head and gave him a saucy smile. “I think as soon as possible would be just fine with me.”
He threw his head back and laughed. His strong arms tightened around her, lifting her off her feet and twirling her around. The stars and moon swirled into dizzy arrays of light overhead. She clung to him, her anchor, her best friend, the other half of her heart. She’d been broken, incomplete during their years apart, but here and now, his love had made her whole.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Danielle traced the picture in the photo album balanced half on her lap and half on Kevin’s. “It was the first day Trevor noticed the sand crabs. He chased them for hours and was so disappointed he never caught one.”
Kevin leaned in to look at the picture, treating her to a whiff of his cologne. She shifted closer to him and drew in a deep breath, her nose just inches from his neck.
He looked down at her out of the corner of his eye. “What are you doing?”
She smiled up at him, only a little embarrassed at getting caught. “You smell good.”
He gave her a mock scolding look. “You’re easily distracted, aren’t you?” Turning back to the photo album, he tapped one of the other pictures. “Tell me about this one.”
“Oh, that’s Cory, Trevor’s best friend in Florida.” A wild mop of red hair topped off his impish face with the crooked smile that always made Danielle wonder if he was up to mischief. His fair skin had turned into a patchwork of freckles in the strong summer sun. “That was the first summer I met Janna. I miss her.” Danielle turned the page and forced back the melancholy. She’d see Janna soon enough. They planned to visit Florida as soon as Trevor was able.
“And this picture—”
The phone rang, interrupting the quiet afternoon. “Just a sec.” She leaned over the arm of the sofa and grabbed the receiver. “Hello?”
“Danielle Jordan?”
“Yes?”
“This is Marianne, at the Reception desk in the front lobby. There’s a Mr. William Jordan here inquiring about you. He was wondering if you had a moment to come downstairs to speak with him.”
“My dad’s here?” she asked, her voice going hard.
The tendons in Kevin’s neck went taut. “What does he want?”
Danielle placed her hand over the receiver. “He wants to talk.”
His lips tightened into a sharp line, and he reached for the phone. “I’ll tell him to leave.”
She reached out and took Kevin’s hand. “Maybe … maybe I should go down and see what he wants.”
“You don’t have to. You don’t owe him anything.”
“I know, but he’s been calling my cell for a couple weeks. I’ve ignored the calls because I didn’t want to deal with him, but I can’t avoid this confrontation forever.” Her heart beat at the prospect, but she was much stronger now, much more aware of what she wanted and needed from her father, and she wasn’t going to back down.
Kevin nodded. “If that’s what you want, but I’m going with you. You shouldn’t be alone with him. He’s too volatile.”
Danielle swallowed hard and lifted the receiver to her ear again. “Please tell him I’ll be down in a few minutes. Have him wait in the south lobby. I’ll meet him there.” That side of the hospital was usually less trafficked, so maybe they would have some privacy.
Heart pounding, she closed the photo album they’d been enjoying and laid it on the coffee table. She stood and looked through the window. Trevor was sleeping, but the nurse sitting beside him glanced up and smiled. “We’re going downstairs for a few minutes,” Danielle mouthed. “We’ll be right back.”
The woman nodded and waved them off.
Danielle made her way to the elevator, Kevin a comforting presence at her side. Strength drained from her legs as she punched the button for the ground floor. Her mind raced with things she would like to say, questions about her father’s intentions, and worries about the outcome of the meeting. Kevin remained silent as if he knew she needed a few moments to collect herself for the confrontation ahead.
The doors slid open. Danielle led the way to the south lobby.
The moment she saw her father, all the hurt and pain she thought she’d surrendered rose up and swirled around inside her, forming a violent tempest that refused to be quieted. Kevin kept her grounded. He was solid and strong, like a sturdy seawall that could withstand the buffeting of life’s waves. She reached for his hand, needing to feel the warmth of his skin and the strength of his grip. His fingers wrapped around hers with a comforting pressure.
Danielle approached the place where her father stood, every muscle in her body tense. The pastor from her father’s church stood off to the side, hands folded behind his back, a smile of encouragement on his face. So her father had brought his new keeper. She nodded at the man, but a smile was beyond her capabilities at the moment.
She turned to her father and willed herself to look him directly in the eye without flinching. “Is there something you wanted?”
William Jordan glanced from Danielle up to Kevin’s face. “You’re both here,” he said quietly. “It’s just as well. What I came to say, I need to say to you both.” He hung his head and stared at the waxed linoleum beneath their feet. “I came to apologize.” The words were barely more than a whisper and lacking any of the pride or dominance that Danielle had come to expect from the man.
Her stomach twisted in knots, and perspiration dampened her brow. “Get on with it then.”
A deep red flush crept through her father’s jowly cheeks. He cleared his throat and shifted on his feet, as if he was having trouble getting the words out. “The past few months have been very enlightening for me. I’m ashamed of how I behaved the last time I saw you … what I did to my grandson—” His voice broke and he shifted again, rubbing his hand hard across his forehead and grimacing until the wave of emotion passed. “It was inexcusable.”
“Yes, it was,” Danielle cut in, her voice hard as steel. She wasn’t going to make this easy for him.
Kevin’s hand gripped hers a little more tightly, whether to offer her support or to attempt to calm her down, she wasn’t sure. She clung to him but kept her eyes on her father.
“I uh … I’ve also come to realize that I wasn’t a very good father to you and Brandon. I’ve carried a deep anger in me for a long time, and I did everything I could to justify and excuse it away so I wouldn�
��t have to deal with it.” He paused and swallowed hard. “I did you wrong many times, and I can see now what it did to you and to our family and our relationships.”
He drew a ragged breath. Tears streamed over the weathered skin on his cheeks. “I’ve destroyed my own household. My kids don’t want to be around me, and my wife has left. I feel like Job in the midst of his trials.”
She gritted her teeth to hold back the angry retort that leapt to mind. Swallowing hard, she fought to keep her tone neutral. “Job didn’t bring his troubles on himself. Are you trying to earn my pity?”
“No.” He dragged his gaze away from the floor and looked Danielle in the eye. She was shocked at the anguish she saw there. “I’m telling you that I’m sorry. I know I’ve gotten just what I deserved. I let anger fester in my heart for years and it infected my whole life and everyone around me. It’s my fault … all my fault. I can’t go on and have a future until I’ve settled my debts from the past, and that’s why I’m here.”
He looked up at Kevin. “I’m sorry for what I’ve done. You were right to call me on it and take my daughter and grandson out of my house. You’re a better man than me. I hope you’ll forgive me for the way I’ve acted.”
Kevin nodded. “It takes courage to admit you’re wrong, sir. But what you’ve done to me was very little in comparison to what you’ve done to Danielle and my son.”
“I know.” Her father nodded weakly then turned back to her.
“Danielle, you were my firstborn, and you took the brunt of my anger on many occasions. I can only imagine how that must’ve hurt you. I couldn’t be more ashamed of myself. Do you think you might ever forgive me for what I’ve done to you?”
Her stomach churned hard, and bile burned in her throat. She wanted to be free of the anger, but at the same time she wasn’t going to pretend as if none of it had happened, that a few words could erase years of painful abuse. She squeezed Kevin’s hand tight, wrestling with the decision. “I accept your apology for my own sake,” she finally answered. “Because I want to move on with my life and never think about this subject again if I don’t have to. I hope you understand that us exchanging a few words here doesn’t undo the damage that’s been done. I don’t know if anything can ever repair our relationship. What happened, happened. And while I can try to forgive it, I doubt I can forget it.”
