by Erika Kelly
Chapter Twenty-Two
When he saw the Jeep, he wanted to abandon his truck and make a run for the house. Bust down the door and get to his girls. His heart was so damn full he could hardly stand it.
It had taken a lot of pleading to get Tyler Cavanaugh to give up his daughter’s location, but thankfully Beckett had convinced the man of his absolute sincerity.
He was here to stay. He wouldn’t miss another moment in Posie and Coco’s lives.
He pulled into the driveway, his tires crunching over pine needles, and took in what Tyler had described as their “little cabin in the woods.” Ha. That would describe his place in Boulder. This one looked like a fancy lodge.
Killing the engine, he got out and breathed in the clean, pine-scented air. From inside, he could hear Ollie barking like crazy, and he got a hit of sadness that he’d abandoned his good boy.
The front door opened, and the love of his life stepped out. In black leggings and an oversize blue and white-striped T-shirt, she stood there like a queen addressing her kingdom. “What’re you doing here?”
He’d prepared himself for that attitude, so he kept walking toward her.
“How did you know where we were?” She made an expression of disgust and shook her head. “I’m going to kill my dad. He told you, didn’t he?”
Reaching the porch steps, he stuffed his keys in his pocket.
“Don’t bother putting them away. You won’t be here long.”
He gazed up at her. “You’re the most beautiful, fierce woman I’ve ever known. I can’t believe I took you for granted. I’ll never do it again. Not even for one minute out of a day.” He climbed one step, saw the way her eyes flared, and stopped right there. “I hurt you, and I hate myself for that.”
Her features softened.
Hope sizzled and snapped. Maybe she’d forgive him. He hadn’t been gone that long. Not even forty-eight hours. “I love you.”
“Okay.” All business, she came down the stairs, stopping at the one above his, so they were eye level. “I know seeing Posie in the hospital freaked you out, and you ran. It was too much like Ari. I get it. I really am sorry for all you’ve gone through, but we’re not doing this.” She flicked a hand between them. “My heart isn’t a yo-yo that you get to play with, reeling me in when you feel safe and tossing me out when you don’t.”
“I panicked. I won’t do it again.”
“Those are words I have no intention of testing out.”
“No, it’s different. I’m different. I didn’t go to France. I went to see my mom. Those texts she’s been sending me? She didn’t want to make amends. She wanted to get rid of Boscoe.”
“Ari’s stuffed dog?”
Love like he’d never felt crashed over him. He blew out a breath of disbelief. “I can’t believe I walked away from you.”
“Same.”
“But I’m so damn glad I did, because if I hadn’t visited her, I wouldn’t be free of my past. I would’ve spent the rest of my life chasing her twisted version of happiness. She’s got all these framed photographs on her walls. You know how you have your whole family in your office and your home? Every minute of Posie’s life from the time she was born? My mom’s pictures came as part of a package. If you jump out of a plane, they give you a USB disc filled with them. She frames one from each trip.”
Coco drew in a breath, the lines around her eyes creasing. She got it.
“You know what I realized? All this time, I’ve been living her lifestyle so I could figure out why it was so much more important to her than I was. I kept going because I had nothing to compare it to. Now I do.” He took a moment to gather his thoughts. No matter how many times he’d gone over what he’d say, it felt different standing right in front of her.
The weight of his words scared him—if he said the wrong ones, he might never win back her trust.
“Standing in my mother’s apartment, I was looking at my future. Coco, I don’t want to be her. I want to be Posie’s dad. And, one day, I want to be your husband. I’ve already talked to my partners, and we’ve come up with a plan for them to buy out my shares. I want to live here with you and Posie. I’m going to be here for both of you every single day, so that next time she gets hurt, she’ll look at me the way she did at you when you walked into the ER. I want to be her daddy, the one who loves her and reads to her and protects her. I want to be the person you lean on and confide in. I want to sleep with you every night and wake up to your face every morning. More than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life, I want us to be a family.”
She gave him a sad smile. “You’re doing it again. Only thinking about what you want. That picture you painted sounds lovely, but it’s never going to happen. You’re welcome to be in Posie’s life as much as you want, but you and I…we’re never going to happen. I’m not going to spend the rest of my life wondering whether you’re going to take off again. I’m just not going to do it.” She twisted around to check the house. “I don’t mean to run you off, but I don’t want Posie to know you’re here. We’ve had a relaxing couple of days, and if she sees you, she’s not going to want you to go. I do, though. I want you to go.” She drew in a breath. “Give me the rest of this week to feel sorry for myself, and I promise when I get back, we’ll be on good terms, and you’ll have full access to your daughter.” She turned and started back up the stairs. “Goodbye, Beckett.
Coco had lied. A relaxing week? Please. It had been pure hell trying so hard to be a good mom, when all she wanted was to stay up late watching romantic comedies, eat Oreos and ice cream in bed, and cry her heart out.
I mean, seriously, could Beckett have been any sweeter? Any more sincere?
Could he have said more perfect words?
No. No, he could not.
And what had she done? She’d kicked him out. Slammed the door on the future she wanted with a desperation that bordered on pathetic.
I want that man. The one who’d stood on the bottom step of her parents’ cabin? Yeah, that one. I want him.
I want him forever and ever.
Instead of telling him she wasn’t going to spend the rest of her life wondering whether he’d take off again, she should’ve said, “We’ve both got fears. Why don’t we spend the rest of our lives helping each other work through them?”
Because that’s what he’d done. He’d gone to visit the big, bad wolf. He’d faced the woman who’d abandoned him. And it had set him free.
He’d given her all the words she’d longed to hear—only he’d said them far more eloquently and sincerely than she ever could have dreamed. And instead of accepting them, her fears had given him a good, swift kick in the ass.
“I want to go home, Mommy.” Posie hadn’t played with her dolls since they’d gotten in the car.
That’s because she picks up on everything.
Maybe it’s time to stop trying to be so damn perfect and just let her see what it’s like to be a real woman. A woman who gets knocked down, nurses her bruises, and comes back swinging. “Me, too.” She eyed her daughter in the rearview mirror. Lord, did she look unhappy.
“Ollie has to go pee pee.”
The dog’s tail started thumping at the sound of his name. He’d relieved himself not even an hour ago, so she knew Posie just wanted to get out of her car seat and back to her familiar world.
“We’re almost home.” She pointed toward the town center. “See?”
“I’m hungry.”
“How about I make you make mac and cheese?”
Her daughter didn’t answer. Maybe she, too, was worried what she’d find when they got home. Was Beckett still staying in the carriage house? Or had he taken her seriously enough to move on?
Of all the times for Beckett to respect her wishes, now was not one of them.
She wanted to see his truck parked out front, hear the back door open and his boots tread on her hardwood floor. She wanted to listen to him read to Posie on the couch, while she worked on her laptop at the kitchen table.
She nee
ded his kisses and his hugs. She needed the way he looked at her as if she hung the moon.
Ever since she’d hit the highway and gotten cell reception, her phone had been buzzing with incoming messages. She’d catch up when she got home.
She turned onto Main Street, happy to see her pretty little town so busy. She loved it here. Nobody wore suits, and no one was rushing to catch a cab. Instead of Prada bags, people carried backpacks. Instead of make-up, they wore sunscreen.
Tourists, business owners, families…all of them had the common interests of loving the outdoors and preferring small town life over a big city. As she passed Coco’s Chocolates, she got a hit of pride. Her pretty little store was filled with customers.
She’d made a good life for herself, and if she and Beckett could work things out, she wouldn’t want for anything else the rest of her life.
Well, maybe one thing. Another baby with his crystal blue eyes would be nice. She’d love to give Posie a brother or sister.
When she turned onto her street, she found several cars and trucks parked around her house. What in the world?
She could just see her mom initiating some project to cheer her up. Her mom was sweet, but Coco didn’t need new curtains or a new couch. Then again, one of the trucks had lumber in the back. Oh, no.
Please tell me my parents aren’t putting an addition on my house. She didn’t want it or need it.
The only thing I need is my family of three. She’d fallen in love with Beckett, and no home renovation project could ever make up for what she’d just thrown away.
There were so many cars, she had to park a few houses down.
“Mommy.” Posie kicked the seat. “We don’t live here.”
“Our driveway’s blocked, sweetie. Come on. Let’s go home.”
She got the bags out of the trunk first and left them on the grass. Then, she snapped on Ollie’s leash and let him out of the car. Finally, she pulled Posie from her car seat, and together they started for home.
“Grandpa’s here.” Posie wrenched her hand free and dashed across the lawn.
“Posie. Wait.” Ollie jerked on the leash, wanting to run after her, so Coco dropped her bags and took off after her daughter. What if someone backed out of the driveway? No one knew they were home. “Posie.”
But her daughter had stopped on their yard in front of the mountain willow and stared at the base of the tree with an expression of awe.
“What is it?” Coco reached her side and couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Someone had created a fairy world. A carved door painted red, a sawdust walkway lined with pebbles, and little hanging lanterns.
Tears sprang to her eyes. She had the most amazing parents in the world. To come up with such a beautiful distraction for her daughter…this blows me away.
Except…neither of her parents were crafty. Gigi? Like she’d know what a glue gun even looked like.
“Mommy.” Her daughter screeched so loudly, Ollie bounded over. “Look.”
In the shrubs beneath the bay window, someone had created an entire fairy habitat, complete with rope ladders, doors made of twigs, and paths formed out of gravel. Something pink and glittery caught her attention, and Coco crouched to find a tiny pair of shoes outside a door. “Oh, my God.”
“My shoes.” Posie sounded breathless. “The fairies wear shoes just like mine.”
A drill whined, and Posie’s eyes went wide. She took off across the lawn and down the driveway.
“Posie, hang on. Wait for me.” Coco ran until she hit the backyard and then came to an abrupt stop.
A whole team of friends and family worked busily to construct a wooden playhouse.
Her grip slackened, and Ollie broke free.
“Beckett,” Posie shrieked.
Coco watched her daughter fly into the man’s big, strong arms. He knelt and caught her, holding her tightly against his chest. His eyes closed, and she could see the stark relief on his features.
Posie wriggled free, jumping up and down and talking a mile a minute, the dog wagging his tail and nosing Beckett for attention.
Right then, that handsome man glanced up and saw her, his features slowly relaxing with something that looked a lot like love.
The world narrowed to his face, the only one she ever wanted to kiss goodnight and good morning and every moment in between.
He picked up Posie and made his way over to her. Her heart pounded with anticipation.
The moment he reached her, he wrapped an arm around her and hauled her to him.
“Beckett’s back, Mommy. I told you.” She rolled her eyes. “Mommy said she didn’t know when you were coming back, ‘cause you had to work, but I told her you’d be back.”
He pressed a kiss to Posie’s forehead. “And I’m staying. I’m going to start the Outfitter business for Brodie’s resort.”
“You…what?” Coco asked.
“That’s right. I’m done traveling. There’s only one place I want to be, and that’s here with my forever girls.”
“Posie?” her dad called, opening his arms.
“Grandpa.” She squirmed, and Beckett set her down. She took off like a shot.
Grabbing her hand, Beckett led her to the house, and they quickly climbed the stairs, entering the cool mud room. He opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off.
“It was you. You created that whole fairy world.”
“Come look what else.” He tugged her across the living room and up the stairs, leading her straight to Posie’s bookcase.
“Oh, my God.” She took in the fairy houses he’d inserted between books. They had lights and tiny furniture and windows and….and everything. “This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.” She turned to find him watching her, hands on his hips, legs braced, as if he had something to say. She stood up and faced him so she could hear it.
“I did a terrible, unforgivable thing. I saw Posie lying in that hospital bed, and I thought…I told myself she was better off without me. She’d made it five years without any injuries, and then I come along and—”
“She fell off the bed.”
“What?”
“That scar?” She touched her cheek. “I ran out of diapers, and I went to the hall closet to see if I had any left, and I heard this terrible thunk. She rolled off the bed and cut her cheek on the heel of my shoe. There was so much blood. I didn’t know…I’d never seen anything like it. So, I took her to Urgent Care, and they gave her one stitch.” He looked at her like he wasn’t sure what the hell she was talking about. “I’m just saying, accidents happen no matter who’s watching them.”
His shoulders visibly relaxed. “I’m glad to hear you say that.”
“But I know how awful it must’ve been for you. It had to throw you right back to Ari’s accident.”
“Yeah, it did. But I need you to know it’ll never happen again. I love you. I love Posie. I know I fucked up, but will you give me another chance?”
“Yes.” And here was her chance. “You see me, Beckett, in a way no one else does. And I see you. And that means we can take care of each other. So, instead of running when we get scared, let’s just stick together and give each other unconditional love. Because…” Her body went hot, emotion swelling under her skin. “I really love you, Beckett. You’re The One for me.”
And, somehow, just by saying the words out loud, she let it go. All the weight she’d put on herself to be perfect, to never rely on anyone…to keep herself from ever being hurt and rejected, just lifted right off her shoulders, and she felt free for the first time in her life.
He still hadn’t gotten used to it, this sense of home. It filled him to the point he thought he might burst sometimes.
“Posie, honey, come on,” Coco called out the back door. “You’ll be late for school.” She grabbed the car keys and turned back to him with a smile. Early morning sunlight slanted across the treetops and created a pale yellow halo around her head. “I can’t get her off that swing set.” Her smile faded. “What�
�s wrong?” She brushed her fingers around her mouth. “Do I have food on my face?”
“You’re so beautiful.”
“Oh.” Her cheeks turned pink.
“I want to tell her.”
“Right now?”
Right the fuck now. “Yeah. She needs to know who I am, that we’re a family.”
“Okay. Sure. Let’s do it.”
They stepped onto the porch and watched Posie launch herself down the slide with her dolls seated in her lap. Once her feet hit the ground, she ran back up the steps and did it again.
Coco’s parents, the Bowies and their wives, everyone had come to help him build the playhouse. Designed to look like a fairy castle, it rose two stories with swings in the center and a slide on the side. Gray and his wife had used glitter paint it, and it sparkled in the early morning sunlight.
He had more than a family. He had a community. And it was the kind of bone-deep satisfaction and sense of belonging his mother would never know.
He’d come pretty damn close to not knowing it.
“Posie, hon, come here,” Coco called.
His little girl flicked a glance over at them. “I’m playing.”
“Yeah, but it’s time for school. And before we go, we need to tell you something.”
“Something important,” he said.
That got her attention. Leaving her dolls on the slide, she ran over to them. “Can I have ice cream after school? I want bubblegum this time. Last time they didn’t have any, and you said we could go back and get some.”
“I did. And we’ll do that. But right now, I want you to know…” He paused, not sure if he should be the one to say it. He looked to Coco. You should do it.
How would she feel, knowing she had a dad? Would it be as momentous to her, as it had been to him, finding out he had a daughter?
Would she throw herself into his arms, holding his neck tightly? Would she cry, I’ve always wanted a daddy.
Oh, hell.
Daddy.
It didn’t have to happen today, but one day, she’d say it. She’d call him daddy. The backs of his eyes stung, and he had to blink.
