"It means nothing of the sort. I have all kinds of choices. I can choose to raise it as a single parent, if I wish. My mother did it, and I can, too. Listen to me, Craig. You cannot force me to marry you. We are not living in the Dark Ages. Women have some rights these days. Not as many as we deserve, perhaps, but some."
Craig sighed, his frustration obvious. "Come on, Tess, don't be that way. I know this is a shock, but
we're both adults. We can handle it." He got up and began to pace, obviously thinking about how he was going to persuade her.
Tess closed her eyes and leaned her head against the headboard of the bed. To think that her upset stomach in the early hours had actually been a high point 'of her day so far. Things had definitely gone downhill from the time she'd answered that blasted doorbell and found Craig standing there.
What had ever possessed him to come back so much earlier than his plans?
Obviously he'd been thinking along the same lines because he paused in his efforts to create a worn path in her rug to say, "I'm just glad I decided to come home when I did. God! It's scary to think about, isn't it? What if I'd stayed away those two years and come home to find out I was a daddy?" He smiled at the last word, saying it again as though tasting it, becoming familiar with the new concept.
He laughed, shaking his head. She couldn't believe it. He actually laughed. This was one of the most traumatic things that had happened to her in her life and Craig was already finding something amusing about it.
There! That was another valid reason why the two of them as a couple would never work. He took everything in life too lightly. He didn't understand the seriousness of existence. Of course he had a wonderful family who loved him unconditionally, whole heartedly accepted whatever he did without argument and encouraged him to leap off into the unknown whenever the mood struck him.
For Craig, the mood struck him often.
As for Tess, she was terrified of the unknown. She'd learned very early in life that there weren't many people in the world she could trust. She'd watched her mother struggle so that the three of them could survive, and that formed an indelible image in her mind. It was hard for Tess to believe that life was ever easy.
It was true that his enthusiasm was one of the traits that had always endeared Craig to her. She'd envied his fearlessness on many occasions, never so much as now.
He crossed his arms and planted his feet--a habitual stance of his. "You're right," he said tersely. "I can't force you to marry me. You're being pig-headed, but I'll put it down to the fact that this is all new to you, so I'm getting your typical knee-jerk, I-can-do-it-by-myself defensiveness. I don't know why it should surprise me. You've been that way all your life. But I'm telling you this and I want you to hear me, Tess. I refuse to let you go through this pregnancy alone." Before she could say anything, he was beside her in a few strides. "You aren't thinking about not having it, are you?" he asked, his horror obvious.
Why wouldn't he just leave her alone? She slid her hands through her hair, gripping it. "I haven't gotten that far in my thinking, Craig. Up until a few hours ago, the very last thing I was thinking of, much less formed any opinions about, was what I might or might not do in the event I ever became pregnant."
"I need to know, Tess. I really need to know whether you'd actually consider doing away with my baby?"
She raised her head and looked into his eyes. She'd never seen him quite this upset before. He'd gone pale beneath his tan.
"No, but look, Craig. We've only had a few minutes to think about all the ramifications of this. I don't want to make any snap judgments about anything, okay?"
"Does that mean that once you've thought things through, may he gotten used to the idea, that you might consider marrying me?"
She eyed him balefully. "Who knows? I might take up bungee jumping, too. Just don't count on seeing it happen in this lifetime. In fact, marrying you would be quite similar to bungee jumping ... all that free-fall without a guarantee that I won't hit the ground before I'm jerked around some more."
"Hey, thanks for that vote of confidence on my abilities as a husband. Look, it's not a role I've ever considered before, but I'm willing to give it a go. This is just as new to me as it is to you."
She got off the bed. "I'm going to make a cup of tea. Would you like some?"
"I'd rather have a beer."
"Sorry, I haven't gone to the store yet this week." "Oh. Then you generally have beer on hand?" "Nope. Just being polite."
He followed her down the stairs. "Do you need anything else? I could pick up some groceries for you." He almost ran into her when she came to an abrupt stop in the hallway.
She turned and looked at him accusingly. "You finished vacuuming, didn't you?"
He threw up his hands. "TII confess, officer. Go ahead. Put me in handcuffs, lock me away. I dared to help you out a little."
"Oh, shut up," she said, continuing on her way to the kitchen.
"Is that any way to speak to the father of your child? Do you want him.." or her... to follow your example? I would hope we could teach our child to be polite and--"
"Craig, I'm only a few weeks pregnant. I don't believe we have to worry about lessons in manners just yet."
"Maybe not, but I've heard that babies in the womb can hear things--like music and stuff. Do you want your baby to hear you saying rude things to its father?"
Tess filled the kettle, smiling to herself.
"See? I saw that. You actually managed a smile. C'mon, Tess, you don't have to take everything so blasted seriously all the time."
Sheset out a cup and dropped a tea bag inside. "Yes, I do, because I know you won't."
"I disagree. Life is much too important to be taken seriously. We've got to enjoy it, embrace it, celebrate it."
"Mrnm-hmm." She watched the teakettle as though visually urging it to heat the water quicker.
"Marry me, Tess." He immediately went down on one knee. "Please. I'm begging you. My child is begging you. Don't torture us this way."
"Get up, you idiot, before I trip over you."
"We could have fun married. We could travel together, show the baby new sights and sounds. Think about all the places we could share with him... or her."
"That argument is guaranteed to convince me marriage with you would never work." She poured the boiling water into her cup and sat down at the kitchen bar. "I hate to burst your bubble, but somebody has to stay home and make a living."
"Aha! So that's what this is all about. Well, then, let me ease your mind, sweet-pea." He left the room, taking a great deal of life and energy with him. '
Tess rested her head on the heel of her hand. Ever since she'd opened the door that morning she'd felt as though she'd been swept up in a tornado. Having
Craig around had always had that effect on her. It had been one of his most endearing qualities when they were growing up together.
Now, she wasn't so sure. How could she cope with such a high-energy person around on a daily basis? What if your child is just like him
?
Where had that thought come from? she wondered.
Craig loped back into the room. He tossed something on the counter in front of her. A rubber band held a bank passbook and a checkbook together. "What's this?" "Open them."
"I'm not going to go through your personal stuff like that."
He reached over and slid the band off, opening them both so that she could see them. "I can't blame you for being hesitant to marry just any guy off the street. So I'm showing you that I can take care of you."
She glanced down at the passbook, then did a double take. Had she read it wrong? She glanced at the checking account. "Craig? Where did all of this--?" She stopped, realizing that he might take her question wrong.
"From the various sales of my pictures. In addition to what you see in front of you, I have money invested in some safe securities."
She thought she had been frugal in her life, saving as much as she could each month, investing when she felt she cou
ld afford to, but she had nothing like this. "I had no idea your photos were selling so well." He shrugged. "I don't need much to live on, really. Just my traveling expenses and I do that as economically as I can."
She suddenly saw another aspect of this man she thought she knew so well. Looking into his eyes, she spotted the mature male lurking beneath the ebullient man. It made for an irresistible combination, there was no doubting that.
"I'll think about it," she finally said, hoping to buy herself some thinking time.
"Great! So, in the meantime, where do I sleep?"
That certainly got her attention. "At your home, perhaps?" she asked dryly.
"In Scottsdale? No, I don't think so. The commute would be too hectic."
"What commute?"
"Well, even if we don't get married right away, I need 'to be on hand to take care of my baby you're carrying around."
"I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself, you know. I've been doing it for most of my life."
"Of course you have, which is why you need a break. Especially now, when you have another one to look after."
She studied him for a long while. He stood across the bar from her, his stance one of sheer male obstinacy. His legs were braced apart, his arms folded, and she had a sudden flash of memory of the night they'd spent together.
She'd touched that broad chest, ran her fingers across those muscled arms and shoulders. She'd explored every inch of the man's body, making discoveries about him--and herself--that opened up a whole new world to her.
"I'm not going to win this one, am I?" she murmured, almost to herself.
That killer grin of his appeared and he seemed to relax slightly. Had he doubted his abilities to persuade her? Surely not.
"I only have the two bedrooms and I'm using the other one for an office. I suppose you can sleep in the den. The sofa folds out into a bed."
"Or... I could sleep with you."
"The bed's too narrow. I believe you were the one who pointed that out during your last visit." She could feel her cheeks burn at the memory.
"No problem. We'll buy a king-size bed. We'll go to Scottsdale and get what I've got stored with my folks and--"
"No."
"No, what?"
"I can't go to Scottsdale."
"Of course you can. Take some of your vacation time. We need to tell the folks about--"
"That's just it. I can't face your folks. Not yet, anyway. How can I? This is so new to me as it is. How can I possibly look them in the eye and admit that... that we..."
"Do you think they'll condemn us for what happened?"
"I don't know what theY'll do."
"My mother, for one, will be so ecstatic over finally becoming a grandmother that we will both be embraced and forgiven for being a little impetuous."
"Impetuous, is it? I can think of other words to describe what happened."
"Not in front of the baby, if you please. We're going to have to work on your verbal utterances, I can see that. Aren't you glad I'm going to be around to help you monitor your speech?"
"Oh, brother."
He leaned on the bar so that his face was only inches away from hers. "All right, then. You win."
Seen this close, his eyes were absolutely gorgeous-so clear she could see her reflection in them. "What have I won?"
"Our discussion, debate, whatever you call it. You don't have to go to Scottsdale with me. In fact, I'll catch a flight over this evening, spend the night, rent a truck to bring my things--"
"A truck! Craig, I don't have that much root here. Just how much do you have over there?"
"My darkroom stuff, clothes, etc. I'll need transportation back anyway. It'll just be a small truck." All the time he spoke, he watched her mouth. Whe he paused, he leaned slightly closer, brushing he mouth with his. "Tell me you're okay with this. I're ally want you to be."
She closed her eyes, unable to face him at the mo merit. The next thing she knew he was around the ba: and pulling her into his arms. He held her close t{ him, not saying anything, just holding her.
Pressed against him that way, she acknowledged at least to herself, how good he felt to her--strong ye gentle, sturdy and dependable.
"The test could be wrong, you know," she finally whispered in a last-ditch effort to halt whatever was happening between them.
"I should be back by Monday. We'll go to a doctor then, have you checked over and make certain."
"Don't you think I should do that before you make definite plans to move in with me?"
He leaned back, his arms still wrapped around her waist. "You mean you're only going to live with me i f you're pregnant?"
There was something odd in his tone, something she couldn't quite place. "As I understand it, the only reason you left Tibet was to find out if there were any
consequences to that night we spent together. If I'm not pregnant wouldn't you go back?"
"We can decide all of that later. For now, we're going to live here together until you decide to make an honest man out of me by marrying me."
"You've always been an honest man, Craig. And honorable. Why else would you be doing this?"
His smile was full of mischief as he said, "Why else, indeed?" This time his kiss was far from a gentle brushing of her lips. Instead it was much more reminiscent of a certain kiss he'd given her many weeks ago that had started all of this!
"Mom? This is Craig. I'm at the Phoenix airport. Could you pick me up?"
He'd stopped at the first bank of pay phones he found once he'd gotten off the plane from Los Angeles.
"Dear heaven! Craig! I thought you were halfway around the world! Of course I'll pick you up. Your dad's playing golf. Won't he be surprised when he gets home! I'll be right there," Susan Jamison said before hanging up.
Craig hung up more slowly, then leaned over to pick up the small bag he carried. He'd left most of his things at Tess's, although she'd insisted on pressing the clothes he presently wore. He smiled at the thought. She was already at work on reforming him. Who knows? He might become domesticated, yet.:
He thought he'd successfully hidden his own shock at finding out that his worst fears had come true. Why else had he been unable to put that night be hind him and get on with his planned trek?
He was going to be a father.
Him, a father? The idea had never been anything he'd ever considered, which was another thing. He'd never had unprotected sex with anyone and yet with Tess, he'd never given the matter any thought. It was almost as if he hadn't cared... as if he'd wanted her to become pregnant. Who knew where his thoughts were at that particular time?
All he remembered was the shock of discovering that she was a virgin. How could a woman as attractive as Tess Cassidy remain a virgin into her thirties? Hadn't there ever been a man she'd wanted before now?
Perhaps subconsciously he'd thought she was on the pill. He hadn't asked. Not once, even though they had spent the night getting to know so much about each other in other ways.
what if he hadn't come back? what if she'd had to go through all of this on her own? The thought chilled him. Tess had had enough heartache in her life. She didn't need any more. What if she'd tried to reach him later, to tell him that she was pregnant? where could she have found him?
He'd blithely gone on his way the next day as though making love to his very best friend in all the
world hadn't changed everything about his life and how he looked at it.
He'd learned the difference soon enough.
The truth was, he hadn't been able to get Tess out of his mind.
The truth was, he'd needed to see her again right away, not in a couple of years. He'd lost his ability to concentrate and to focus on his targeted areas to photograph. Thank God he'd followed his impulse to come back when he did.
Craig found himself at the entrance near the baggage claim of the airport, realizing that he was spacing out again, so caught up in his thoughts he was like a walking zombie.
Maybe he should ha
ve tried to sleep on the plane between L.A. and Phoenix. The truth was, he was too nervous to sleep. He couldn't remember the last time he'd stretched out on a bed for a full night's sleep. At least several days.
His mother would be along anytime now. He had to pay attention.
He wasn't exactly looking forward to telling his folks his news. Forget the fact that he was thirty-three years old and had been making his way alone in the world for over twelve years. Waiting by the curb, watching for his mother's car, Craig Jamison had to smile when he realized that he felt like a young boy again having to tell his mother he'd gotten into trouble at school.
However, the kind of situation he was now in was a sure sign he wasn't a little boy anymore!
Craig lay in one of the lounge chairs on his parents' patio, drowsing. They'd just come outside when the phone had rung, calling his mother back into the air-conditioned house.
There was a nice breeze in the shade. He could feel himself relaxing, and knew that all those time zones he'd gone through were rapidly catching up with him. If his mother didn't come back out soon, he'd be asleep. The problem was that once he fell asleep, he'd probably sleep for days. Somehow he had to hang on long enough to explain to his mother why he was there. She'd asked no questions once he'd gotten into the car, so he'd postponed telling her that he would be leaving in a couple of days, just as soon as he could rent a truck and load his belongings.
His parents had offered to have his belongings moved along with theirs when they'd left California, pointing out that there was no need for him to put his things in storage where he couldn't get to them when he was in the country,
He'd reimbursed them the cost, grateful they had room for his expensive equipment. They would understand the significance of his moving everything. He was setting up new headquarters, getting a place of his own.
It was about time. He just hadn't expected the decision to be based on his becoming a father in the near future.
He glanced around at a sound behind him in time to see his mother carrying a tray with a pitcher and glasses on it. He leaped from the chair and hurried to her. "Why didn't you tell me that's what you were doing? I could have brought that outside for you. I thought you were still on the phone."
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