"Worthington?" another voice asked. "As in Christopher, the winger?"
"I'm his sister," Isa said, her voice coming out smaller than it normally would have. Xander must have noticed too, only because he started to rub her back, offering a smile and a nod that seemed to say she had this.
"Worthington," someone else said, coming in to join the circle. "Why do I know that name? Where else have I heard that name before?"
"Isadora Worthington is the woman who filed a restraining order against Benjamin Locke, the tennis player, because he allegedly beat her," a slithery cool voice said.
Isa immediately locked eyes with Juliette Stone and she clenched her jaw.
"There was no allegation," Isa said, her voice low. "It happened."
Juliette shrugged as though the whole topic of conversation was beneath her and she could not believe she was even partaking in it now. "Don't feel the need to take your experience to the court of public opinion," she said. "He asked a question. I answered."
Isa pressed her lips together, waiting for Xander to say something. Anything. When she looked up at him, she found an indecipherable look on his face. His eyes were trained on Juliette and he looked at her with... Isa didn't know the right word. But the emotions she expected to see on his face—frustration, indifference, disgust—weren't there. This was softer, almost content, but it wasn't content.
Her chest tightened and she hated that she came, that she went out of her way to be here when all she wanted was to crawl in bed and bury herself underneath her covers and not come out for a long, long time.
No, she thought to herself. You just stood up to Ben. You can do anything.
And if Xander wasn't going to help—well, she didn't need him to help anyway. She could stand up for herself.
"You gave him details that aren't true," Isadora told her. She refused to look away from her, even though she felt uncomfortable here, even though this wasn't a place she got her power from the way Juliette did. "Ben Locke nearly killed me. I had stitches. If it had been alleged, there's no way the judge would have granted me a three-year restraining order."
Shocked murmurs spread through the circle. Isa couldn't tell if Xander had stiffened or if he was just giving her his attention, but she didn't like how silent he was, even if he hadn't released his hold on her.
"But tonight isn't about me being here with Xander as his date or what happened in my past," Isa continued. "We're here to raise money for an important cause."
Juliette cleared her throat and nodded once. "You're right," she said. "Xander, if you could come with me, I have to set you up. We're about to make introductions and get everyone seated, and I still need to go over what we have so far."
Isa didn't like the word we. It implied that they were together in some way—intimately, platonically, or even forging a partnership together. Isa hated the sound. She didn't understand why she had such a strong reaction to it, but she did. She took a deep breath and hoped her face didn't give away her feelings.
Xander turned to look at her, as though he was asking permission. She hated that he did something like that. He shouldn't need permission to leave and he shouldn't be looking at her to make what she thought was an easy decision.
"I'll be fine," she said. "I don't need anyone to take care of me. I'm pretty good at doing it myself."
Isa hadn't meant to be bitter but she couldn't help it. She knew this wasn't about her. This was about his feelings regarding Juliette that seemed to still remain in a tangled mess. She thought he had untangled most of them. At the very least, she thought he would be able to behave like his normal self around her, but apparently, that was too much to ask for.
What was she doing here?
Xander pressed his lips together. Isa knew he didn't like what she said, but she didn't particularly care. What did he expect? Juliette was ridiculing her attack, was questioning that it even happened. Isa knew her case would make the paper but she didn't expect someone like Juliette to read about it, to even know who Isa was.
"Come on," Juliette said, beckoning Xander with her manicured fingers.
"Go on," Isa insisted in a low voice. "You don't need me, either."
"Isa," Xander said.
Isa raised her brow, surprised he had even spoken at all. "I'm surprised you still know how to speak," she said.
"Isa, wait."
"You have somewhere you need to be," she said. "I don't." She glanced around, at the looks the circle was giving them. Isa didn't care. She leaned towards Xander so her lips brushed his ear and whispered, in a voice only he could hear, "I get it now, okay? This, whatever this was between us, was all a facade. Anything else that might have been?"
"Isa," Xander cut in.
Isa didn't care. "Break a leg up there," she said. "I'm going to go home."
"Isa."
"You've got this."
Isa stepped back and gave Juliette a tight smile before turning around and heading out. There was a line of taxis waiting to take home those too intoxicated to drive later. Isa waved one down. She took a deep breath and sighed, feeling lighter already.
Chapter 13
Xander knew he fucked up the minute Isa turned and gave him that look. She was upset and disappointed and sad all at the same time. He didn't quite know what she had expected from him other than the fact that he should have defended her. That much was true.
However, for some strange reason, Juliette still had this hold on him that he couldn't shake. When her eyes were on him, he froze, like a child waiting to be scolded by his mother after she caught him doing something naughty.
This must be like how she felt, Xander realized as he let Juliette pull him away. How powerless she felt when it came to Ben.
Granted, the situation Isa had been in was much more serious than being dragged through a room of guests who were here to donate large sums of money to a local animal shelter, but Xander did feel trapped and helpless, like there was nothing he could do. He had promised to be here, even though being here was the last thing he wanted. He wanted to be with Juliette. He wanted to bury himself deep inside of her. He wanted her to know that he loved her.
But he was chicken shit.
Big, bad Xander Vane was afraid.
Isa wasn't. Isa had stood up for herself. Against Ben. Against people making rude comments about her. Against Juliette.
How was it that Isa could defend herself against Juliette but Xander couldn't find it in him to open his goddamn mouth and defend the woman he loved? For fuck's sake, he defended a woman he didn't even know when her boyfriend was grabbing her too hard. He couldn't bring it in himself to go out of his way to say something when Juliette indicated that the ordeal Isa went through was a farce?
No wonder she left. He didn't deserve to be in her presence again. Not when he was so goddamn scared of upsetting Juliette.
Suddenly, he stopped. He pulled his arm away from Juliette just as they headed up to the stairs to a large stage put together by the organizers of the event. Juliette was already a few feet ahead of him, behind the stage. A couple of people walked past him quickly, one man bumping shoulders with Xander, too preoccupied with his own musings to find it in him to apologize.
"Xander?" Juliette asked. Her brows were furrowed and she opened her hands as if to ask him a question.
"I can't do this," he said, more to himself than to her. "I can't be here."
Her eyes seemed to go wide. "What do you mean, you can't do this?" she asked. "Xan, everyone came here to see you give a speech. The reason we got funding for this was because you agreed to be here for it."
"Yet you tried to tell me not to come just last week," Xander said. "Why?"
"I—"
"You didn't realize my name would draw money," he continued. It sounded like he had been well aware of this before but the truth of the matter was, he didn't know about it until just now. It was as though the words had come out of his mouth before his brain realized what he said. Once he finally managed to catch up, however, h
e couldn't help but agree. It made sense now. "You don't see me as more than some enforcer who can't do anything except fuck and fight."
An older gentleman frowned at Xander's language but Xander couldn't be bothered to apologize.
Juliette scoffed, but it wasn't a defensive sound. She rolled her eyes and took a step towards him. "What do you want me to say, Xan?" she asked. "Do you want me to tell you I'm still in love with you? Because that would be a lie. I'm not."
"I don't want you to be in love with me," Xander said. "I'm not in love with you."
"Then what is it?" Juliette asked. "You're here because you want to be here. Not because of me."
"What was that, then?" Xander asked.
"Jules, we have five minutes," a woman with a headset said as she hurried past Juliette. She didn't even stop as she spoke with her. "Bernadette is making the announcement now. Are you good to go?"
Juliette nodded her head, putting up her hand though she didn't actually speak.
"Ladies and gentlemen," a voice on a microphone said. "Please start heading to your seats. Our show is about to begin."
A couple of what appeared to be high school interns dressed in nice dresses and suits came from a room, each walking a dog on a leash. They passed Xander—Xander had this desire to leave Juliette so he could pet a droopy-eyed basset hound—in order to set up on their mark behind the heavy, crimson curtains.
"Why did you say what you said about Isa?" Xander pressed. "You don't love me. And yet, you went out of your way to make the woman I came with feel insignificant. You're here to find better homes and lives for animals, and yet, you treated a fellow human being—a woman—like garbage. You insinuated she was making up her story of being abused, Juliette. Do you know how...I can't even find the right word except evil."
"Xander—"
"Don't have that tone, Juliette," he snapped, surprising even himself. "You made someone feel small to make yourself feel better. You're ridiculous."
"I didn't expect you to come with someone!" Juliette exclaimed.
A couple of the high school kids turned to look at Juliette, confused expressions on their faces, before they turned and began to whisper amongst themselves as they returned to the room in order to get more dogs.
"What?" Xander asked slowly.
"I didn't want you there, but when you insisted, I thought you would come alone," Juliette said. "I didn't realize..." She let her voice trail off and looked away.
"Didn't what?" Xander pushed.
"I didn't realize you would bring someone with you," Juliette said. "I didn't think you would move on as quickly as you had. Does that make you feel better? Did that make you happy?"
"Why on earth would you think that?" Xander asked.
"Because I realized I screwed up when I cheated on you." The words weren't quite a shout but they were definitely raised. She could see others looking over at her again and she stepped closer to Xander in order to lower her voice. "Can we be done now? Did you hear everything you wanted to hear?"
"This isn't a game to me, Juliette," Xander said. "I should have said something when you went out of your way to make Isa feel like an idiot, but I didn't. Because there's some small part of me that's still affected by you. And I hate it. I'm done. I'm not going to do this anymore. I'm not going to let you get under my skin and make me think I have to prove something to you, because the truth of the matter is I don't."
"Xan," she started, but Xander cut her off.
"Stop calling me that," he snapped.
"You said I still affected you," she pointed out.
"Yes, but not because I love you," he said. "I made a mistake agreeing to do this. My pride was at stake and I'm terrible at saying no to my pride. I will make a good donation to the shelter, but I'm not going to give a speech. I'm not going to stay here with you. Not when I want nothing to do with you."
"Xander—"
"I hope it was worth it," he spat. "I would have given you everything, but it was never enough for you. At the end of the day, you saw me as nothing more than a goon. You didn't take me seriously. For some strange reason, you thought I would always be there. But I wasn't. I'm not. And now, you have to deal with those consequences."
Xander took a step back, and then another. He needed to find Isa, and he needed to find her now.
By the time he retrieved his car from valet and drove back to Isa's apartment, a good forty-five minutes had passed. Xander knew there was a chance Isa didn't return home. She could have gone to Trisha or her brother or someone else. She could do whatever she wanted.
But he hoped she had gone home because there was so much he needed to say to her.
Xander got to her place faster than he should have been driving. He parked the car, slammed the door, and ran up to her apartment. When he reached her door, his first instinct was to pound on it, to get her attention in case she was sleeping or taking a shower. Then, he realized that he couldn't force her to drop everything for him. She had a life outside of him. Instead, he knocked and waited. His tuxedo bunched up around his arms because of his quick movement and as he waited for her to answer the door, he adjusted accordingly.
Finally, after what felt like one of the longest moments of his life, Isa finally opened the door.
"Xan?" she asked, her voice heavy with sleep. She must have just fallen asleep. "What are you doing here? Don't you have a speech you should be giving—like, right now?"
"Yeah." Xander could see bits of mascara under eyes, as though she had tried to be quick about wiping her face clean. "I mean, I left. I'm not giving the speech anymore."
Isa furrowed her brow, crossing her arms over her chest and shaking. "Come in, come in." She closed the door after he stepped through before hugging herself once again. "What do you mean you're not going to give the speech? Why not? I thought that was the only reason you went."
Xander cleared his throat, his eyes dropping to the floor. "No," he said. "That's not the only reason." He took a step forward to Isa but stopped himself from coming any closer. "I wanted to make her jealous. I wanted to make her realize she made a mistake."
"Did you?"
"I did." He stopped, took a breath, and released his fists. "And I realized in that moment, I didn't care. I didn't care if she realized she made a mistake or not. It didn't matter to me. The only thing that mattered to me was the fact that you weren't there with me. I let you down. I should have spoken up for you, and for that, I'm truly sorry."
"Xander, it's not like I need you to fight my battles for me," Isa said, waving him off.
"I don't think that," Xander said. "I don't expect to do that for you. But you are my friend, probably one of my best friends, and I should have defended you. I would have done it for my team, even the pricks. You and I are on the same team, and yet, I let them get away with one. You had to defend yourself, and that is something I regret."
"Xander—"
"You matter to me, Isa," Xander said, stepping forward. "I should have done something about it. I should be showing you this. But I didn't. I promise, though, I promise I will make it up to you every day."
"But I need you to—"
"I know you don't need me. Isa, you don't need anyone. But I want to be here with you. I want to take care of you because I'm in love with you."
It suddenly felt as though all the oxygen was sucked out of the room, and all that was left was static. It was difficult for Xander to breathe, finally confessing what had been on his mind. He refused to take it back though, refused to apologize for only increasing the tension between them.
"You...what?"
"I love you, Isa," Xander said. "This isn't pretend for me anymore. I don't think it ever was. I was just too blind to realize it until now."
She cleared her throat, nodding her head so stray strands of hair fell in her face. She smiled and then started laughing.
"What?" Xander asked. "What's so funny?"
"I'm not laughing at you," Isa was quick to clarify. "I promise, I just..." She sh
ook her head. "That was the last thing I expected to come out of your mouth."
"And?"
"And," she said slowly, stepping across the living room to meet him in the middle. "I think you have far too much clothing on."
A small smile started to spread across his face. "Is that so?" he said as he watched her start to unbutton his shirt.
"But don't worry. I can help you with that."
Suddenly, he grabbed her hand and caught her eyes. "Isa, I don't want to blow this off," he said. "I really am sorry."
"I know," she told him with a nod. "I'm not going to lie. It bugged me. But seeing how much more it bugged you, why would I punish you? You're already punishing yourself more than I could. I just figured I'd forgive you."
"I don't deserve you," he told her, releasing his hold on her.
"You don't," she agreed, and then went back to stripping him down.
Chapter 14
The next morning, Isa woke up to pounding on her door. She turned but Xander was lightly snoring and she knew him well enough to know that he wasn't going to get up based on the noise. She threw the covers off, the cold attacking her with its insistence on assisting her as she woke, and sucked in a tight breath. Usually, her apartment was much warmer than this—sometimes dreadfully so—but every now and then, there would be an exception, and she would be forced to layer herself up into warm clothing.
There was a brief pause in knocking before it started up again. She nearly tripped over herself as she tried pulling on her boy shorts.
This isn't Ben, is it? her brain asked. Isa could detect there was a slight tremor of fear in the question itself.
"Even if it is," she murmured to herself as she pulled on Xander's shirt from the night before. "We will deal with it." She grabbed her cellphone from her nightstand, unplugging it from the charger, just in case she needed to call the cops, and headed out of her room and straight across to her front door.
Isa took a breath before she even thought about opening it and stood on her toes in order to check the peephole.
Enticing Enforcers: A Slapshot Novella Page 8
