“Yes, him.”
“And he’s the reason you’re having second thoughts?”
Phoebe could hear the annoyance in Sophie’s voice. She could understand it, and, as she sat there, she could almost reason with herself that her thoughts were stupid. But a part of her was still wondering “what if.” What if John’s coming back was a sign that he was the one she was meant to be with?
“Phoebe, why are you even entertaining thoughts of John? I thought you loved Marco?
I mean, you’re a few weeks away from getting married!” “I know. I’m so confused. I don’t know what to do.”
“It’s actually quite simple, Phoebs. Do you love Marco? If so, then tell John to get lost. If you have real doubts then you need to seriously think about what you’re going to do. And you should go away somewhere by yourself to think them through.” Sophie paused—Phoebe could see the censure in her friend’s eyes and knew that what Sophie was going to say next wasn’t going to be pleasant. “But don’t hurt Marco, he doesn’t deserve it.”
She was right, of course, but Phoebe was also surprised. Shouldn’t Sophie be on her side? Sophie was her best friend, not Marco’s. Was she, again, about to be let down by someone who she thought would always have her back?
“Whatever I do, someone gets hurt,” Phoebe said quietly.
“Then you need to think long and hard before you do anything stupid like cancelling your wedding. You’re my best friend and I love you, but I won’t sit here and agree that you should go off with John. I remember how he hurt you when he left. He didn’t even consider your feelings. Marco healed you, Phoebs. You’ve been so happy since the two of you hooked up at Louisa’s christening. You seem to be so much more at peace with yourself.”
At peace sounded boring to Phoebe’s ears, further increasing her anxiety. When she had been with John it had always been exciting. They’d always been joking around, never really taking anything seriously. Unfortunately, her heart hadn’t remembered to keep it light and had fallen for him.
“I thought I had it all sorted. I thought I was happy,” she murmured, almost to herself. “You are happy, Phoebe.”
“How can you say that? I had more fun with John than I do with Marco. We were always laughing.”
“But that was superficial. Even Alex has commented on how much happier you seem with Marco than you did with John.”
“That’s because Alex didn’t like John, and I’m seeing his best friend now.”
“Not true. Alex didn’t mind him. He thought John was a good doctor. He just never thought John was your match and Alex didn’t like it when you got hurt by him. Alex cares about you too. He knows how important you are to me.”
The conversation wasn’t going in the direction Phoebe wanted it to. And she was still confused.
Sophie shrugged her shoulders, as if knowing Phoebe didn’t want to continue talking. “Well whatever decision you make, you have to remember this: you will see Marco on a regular basis. You’re both Louisa’s godparents. I won’t have one of you without the other at any of her birthdays or other celebrations.”
* * *
“Is everything alright, sweetheart? You’ve been quiet all evening.”
How to answer that question, Phoebe thought as she placed her coffee cup back on the saucer. Ever since she’d left Sophie’s place she’d been thinking over her suggestion of taking some time away, and trying to get her head around the dilemma she found herself in. It hadn’t helped that John had called three more times. He was acting like a stalker. But a part of her still wanted to see him. Talk to him. If she told Sophie that, Sophie would say it was the rash part of her speaking.
As if struck by a cannon ball, she knew what she had to do. “I can’t marry you.”
The words fired out of her and she immediately wanted to snatch them back. A slight flaring of Marco’s nostrils was the only indication that her words had shocked him. She’d expected to see fire in the depths of his brown eyes. However, his handsome face remained blank, as normal as ever—right down to his lush, full bottom lip, and his nose with the slight bump from when he’d broken it playing schoolyard football. No one watching him in this restaurant would have any idea that she’d just dropped a major, life- changing, bombshell on him.
He looked around the crowded restaurant before returning his gaze back to her. “I’ll ask for the check.”
Phoebe nodded, unable to speak. She sat quietly while Marco signaled the waiter. “I’m sorry,” she whispered as the waiter walked away. He held up his hand to stop her
from saying anything else.
Why had she blurted that out in the middle of a restaurant? Did she hope that by saying it in a crowded place he wouldn’t make a scene? Did she hope that there was safety in numbers and she could tell him everything and he’d just sit there and take it all in, smiling like nothing was happening? She should’ve waited until they were at her place. Or at least in the car on the way home.
The waiter returned with the check and Marco opened his wallet and pulled out some bills, placing them in the folder. He closed it with a snap, pushed his chair back, and stood up. “Let’s go.”
Phoebe shivered; she’d never seen him like this. So cold and remote. He’d always been open with her. The first time they’d met had been at Alex and Sophie’s civil ceremony and then wedding her father put on for her. At the time, she’d been so caught up in John that she hadn’t paid much attention to him, and had put the connection flaring between them down to the fact that they were best man and maid of honor. The next time they’d seen each other had been at Louisa’s christening. John had been gone for months and well, the connection flared to life again and she had gone home with him.
“Are you coming, Phoebe?” Marco’s tone was impatient and pulled her from the thoughts of their first night together.
“Yes.” She stood and walked towards the restaurant’s exit.
Even in anger, he was the consummate gentleman, holding the door open for her so she could exit the restaurant before him. The short walk to the car passed in a tense silence.
What was she doing? Had she done the right thing telling Marco she couldn’t marry him? They reached the car and once again he held the door open for her. She paused before getting into the car. She looked up at him. In the muted light of the car park he looked to be made of stone. She ached to reach out and touch his cheek, to soften the tension that she could see in his jaw. But at that moment, that would be the worst thing she could do. So she murmured her thanks and slipped into the car. He closed the door firmly.
She’d expected him to slam it.
* * *
Marco got into the car, keeping a tight hold on his anger. An anger that had started from the moment Phoebe announced she was calling the wedding off. It was the last thing he’d expected to come out of her mouth. He could tell she wasn’t herself that evening; she’d turned her head when he’d leaned in to kiss her, and she’d been distracted throughout dinner. He had put it down to being preoccupied with their wedding plans.
But her preoccupation had been about cancelling the wedding, not thinking about what still needed to be finalized.
He pulled out of the car park and headed towards . . . not his house that was for sure.
He wanted to have this conversation where he wouldn’t be reminded of the outcome.
He drove for a few minutes before coming across a small park. He pulled into the empty lot.
“What are we doing here?” Phoebe asked.
Marco cut the engine and released his seat belt. He turned to face her. “We’re going to talk.”
“At a deserted park?” He could hear the incredulous tone in her voice. “Yes.”
“Why not at your house or mine?”
“Because I think we need to discuss this situation we now find ourselves in in a neutral place.”
He didn’t want to have a talk at all. What he really wanted to do was reach over and kiss her. Kiss away her doubts and remind her that they we
re good together and their marriage would be a good and lasting one. But he knew if he made any move like that it would probably only reinforce her decision to end things. And that was the last thing he wanted to happen. He didn’t want to end things with Phoebe. He’d wanted her since he’d first laid eyes on her at Alex and Sophie’s civil ceremony. He’d bided his time until she was single and then he’d made his move. She was sexy and attractive and he’d felt a connection with her that he hadn’t felt with anyone. Not even Veronika, the other woman he’d considered marrying until she’d betrayed him and he’d learned that loving deeply only led to being hurt. But though he knew he would never let himself make that mistake again—falling in love made you blind and stupid—he could not deny that his relationship with Phoebe was damn near close to ideal. She made him happy, and he knew he wanted her to always be by his side. Marriage was the way to ensure that.
“Well are we getting out or are we going to sit here all night and gaze into the darkness?”
He gave a quiet chuckle; he really enjoyed seeing the little glimpses of Phoebe’s sense of humor she shared with him every now and then. He wished she’d do it more often.
Sometimes he wondered if she was keeping part of herself hidden away from him.
He got out of the car, walked around to her side, and opened her door before she had the chance to. He held out a hand, ignoring the warmth spreading over him, like it always did, when he touched her. There was no way he was going to let her call off the wedding. There was no way he was going to let her leave his life. There was no way their relationship was done.
He didn’t release her hand as they ambled towards the park bench. In any other circumstance, it would be quite a romantic scenario. A moonlight walk in the park, the trees casting shadows, perfect for stealing an illicit kiss or two.
He gave the bench a quick wipe with his free hand, brushing away the leaves that had fallen during the day. He felt a shiver ripple through Phoebe, so he shrugged out of his jacket, hating that he had to release her hand.
“Are you cold?” he asked as he held it out towards her. “No I’m fine, but thank you.”
He waited until she sat before slipping the jacket back on and joining her on the bench.
For the first time in his life he found he didn’t know how to start a conversation with someone.
“I’m not changing my mind, no matter what you say.”
Well that was one way to start it, straight for the jugular. He felt he knew Phoebe really well. He was sure he would’ve noticed if she was having doubts. Prior to the last two weeks, they had spent every possible moment together.
Two weeks ago, the day he’d been unable to meet her for lunch.
The thought hit him again. Two weeks ago something happened in her life that she hadn’t shared with him. The anger that had cooled on the drive to the park flared to life again. He didn’t like it when things were kept from him. After all the secrets kept and lies told by Veronika, he valued honesty.
“What happened two weeks ago?” he asked.
Her gasp was all he needed to know that he’d hit the jackpot with his comment. The big question would be whether she would tell him the truth or evade it.
“Nothing. Nothing happened.” Her voice was high pitched—another sign she was nervous and lying to him.
“Don’t lie to me, Phoebe.”
Even with anger flowing through his veins, his hands itched to cover hers as they fiddled with the strap of her purse, twisting it tightly. He decided to tone his questions down. He wouldn’t get to the bottom of the situation if he badgered her. “Tell me why you don’t want us to get married anymore.”
She stood and started pacing in front of him, creating a slight breeze as she passed him. Her blonde hair was caught up in a loose knot at the base of her neck, tendrils escaping and caressing her fine cheekbones. In the dim light she looked ethereal. He couldn’t see her blue eyes, but he imagined they’d be stormy—not clear blue like they were in the throes of passion. The faint floral fragrance of her perfume wafted towards him. The scent reminded him of the times he’d buried his head in her neck, feasting on the soft skin below her ear, her soft moans of pleasure filling his ears. He clenched his fist against the bolt of desire that coursed through his body, replacing the anger that had been there moments before.
“I think we’re rushing into this marriage,” she finally said. “We hardly know each other. I don’t think I’m ready for the next step.”
Her comment surprised him. He thought they knew each other pretty well. “So how long to do you think you’ll need before you’re ready to take the next step and marry me?”
She stopped her pacing as if surprised he would even suggest a timeframe—and even more that he would wait for her.
“I don’t know.”
He couldn’t take it anymore—he needed to touch her. He stood up and pulled her into his embrace. She resisted, but he stood firm and slowly she softened against him. He closed his eyes and enjoyed holding her. He leaned back slightly and lifted her face up to him. Through the moonlight he could see the distress in her eyes. He wanted to take away her hurt. Make her smile again.
“Phoebe,” he whispered quietly before he closed the gap and lowered his lips to hers. As much as he wanted to ravage her, he sipped slowly from her soft lips. He broke the contact briefly, before taking them once again. He pulled her tight against his body, moving his hands down her back until he reached the soft curve of her bottom. He squeezed the firm flesh and thrust his hips slightly against hers, letting Phoebe know just how much he wanted her.
He was about to slip his hands up her body to caress her breasts when he felt her hands pushing against his chest. He lifted his head and took a step back.
“I’m sorry, Marco, but I can’t. I can’t marry you.” “Why? Why can’t you marry me?”
“I’m not ready.” Her voice broke. “I thought I was, but now I don’t think I am. I’m confused. I don’t know what I want.”
He knew, deep in his gut, that there was more to it than just confused feelings. She was keeping something from him, he was sure of it.
“I’m sure every bride gets cold feet this close to a wedding.”
“Don’t be so condescending,” she snapped at him, and he had to agree—he had sounded condescending. “It’s not cold feet.”
“Then what is it?” he asked through gritted teeth. “There’s someone else.”
2
“Are you telling me you’re having an affair? That you’ve been cheating on me?” He asked the questions so quietly. She’d expected an explosion to come out of him; she wouldn’t have blamed him if he had torn her to shreds. But an unnatural calmness seemed to have taken hold of him. Just like in the restaurant, he showed no emotion. It was more frightening than the explosion she’d expected. At least she could deal with anger.
“No, nothing like that.”
“Well, what is it exactly? You say that there’s someone else, but you’re not having an affair.”
“It’s complicated.” Oh God, could she sound any lamer? She usually had a comeback for everything. Tonight she was acting like a waffling wallflower. “I’m not seeing anyone, but someone from my past has come back.”
She could see the wheels turning in his mind, processing what she was telling him. He was a successful architect; he hadn’t gotten that way by not being able to understand what the client was trying to say and then bring their vision to life. Marco knew all about her past with John; he’d seen them together before, at Alex and Sophie’s large wedding, the one that had taken place after their quiet civil ceremony.
On her second date with Marco, she’d blurted out how John had dumped her and run from her as if his heels were on fire. So many people had warned her John was a player, and she had been so confident that she would be able to keep their relationship casual. A bit of fun where real emotions didn’t get involved. But after seeing Sophie and Alex fall in love, she’d convinced herself that the same thing coul
d happen to her and John. Yeah, she’d been totally wrong there.
“Are you telling me that you’re calling off our wedding for the sake of John Allen?
The same man who all but used you? I didn’t expect you to be so short-sighted, Phoebe.”
Hearing the words from Marco made her sound like she was too stupid to live. That she would willingly risk a guaranteed future with a man who would provide for her and make her feel secure, for the unknown with a man who’d already run—without a backward glance—when another opportunity had presented itself to him.
A part of her still wondered if there was more to John’s recent declaration; if she was just a convenient warm body in his life and bed until he found his next adventure, something more exciting than a future with her, to move on to. She knew she had to stop ignoring him. She had to decide once and for all what she wanted from her life, whether she wanted a future with Marco, or to try again with John. But she couldn’t make that decision while engaged to Marco—it wouldn’t be fair. By making a clean break she would have the space to think, and perhaps she could meet up with John again. Talk to him. See if there was still something between them.
No! Breaking up with Marco is the worst thing you could do, a little voice inside of her head said. John’s dumped you once; he could do it again with no qualms. Marco would never hurt you. He cherishes you.
She told the voice to shut up. That was the little part of her who still believed in fairy- tale romances and love. She couldn’t trust that voice.
“It’s not like that,” she said, responding to Marco’s question about her leaving him for John.
“Well then, what is it like?” He paused. “Oh, I get it, he told you he loved you and had made a mistake.”
Phoebe was grateful Marco couldn’t see her face. She could feel the heat rising from the base of her neck to the top of her head. She knew deep down she was being silly to believe what John was saying. But his return brought the doubts she hadn’t realized were inside of her to the surface. She had thought she could have a marriage based on companionship; now she wasn’t too sure. She wanted what Sophie and Alex, and her other friend Dawn, who had just fallen in love with her former sweetheart Andrew, had. That once-in-a-lifetime type of love which Hollywood turned into blockbuster movies. You only had to look at those two couples to know that any one of them would do anything for the other person. She wanted that, and she wasn’t sure she was going to receive it with Marco.
Seducing Phoebe: Lovers Unmasked: Book 3 Page 2
