by Eden Summers
“Hey, Allie. What’s up?”
“Blake, is Gabi with you?”
What a way to kick-start his heart into overdrive. “No. Why? Where are you?” He turned back to the guys, making eye contact with Mitch.
“I’m at a strip club, a few blocks from the Bellagio. Gabi was upset and came outside for fresh air. I checked not long after, and she was still struggling with something. She said she needed a few minutes to compose herself. Now she’s gone and won’t answer her phone.”
The blood drained from Blake’s face, and Mitch stared at him in concern. “Why was Gabi upset?” he asked. It wasn’t like his angel to walk off in the middle of a bachelorette party, and although she’d been quiet in the few hours they spent together since he returned from Richmond, he hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary. She’d just seemed tired.
“She had an argument with Kate.”
The few words were enough to send Blake into a panic. His fiancée didn’t cause drama. If she’d had an argument with someone, she must’ve had good reason.
“Kate mentioned that you two hooked up, which upset Gab, but I’m certain that wasn’t the main problem. She was emotional before that. I assumed it has to do with the two of you.”
Fuck. He’d known Kate would be at the party, and he’d chickened out on telling Gabi about their past. Not that he’d had any real opportunity to tell her. He’d spent the last six days in Richmond with Mason, and although they spoke on the phone more than once a day, there hadn’t been an appropriate moment to discuss previous conquests. Then when he got home, he only had time to dump his bags, repack fresh clothes, and leave for the airport again.
He couldn’t fathom something wrong between the two of them. They didn’t fight. They rarely argued, and he was thankful they were still in the smitten stage of their relationship. Everything Gabi did made him happy, and he’d assumed he did the same for her. Their few problems stemmed from Gabi’s insecurities about other women, and again, she handled that with dignity and patience.
“Tell me where you are. I’m on my way.” His words sparked the interest of his friends. They strode toward him, frowns of concern on each of their mangled faces.
“We’re about to leave. She mentioned going back to the Bellagio, so why don’t we both go there. We can meet at the start of the fountain.”
“OK. I’m going to try calling her. I’ll see you soon.”
“All right,” she replied, her tone soft. “I’m really sorry, Blake. I didn’t think Kate would say something so stupid. We’ve all had too much to drink, and things got out of hand.”
Blake clenched his fist. He could only imagine how bad Gabi was hurting. She’d already had to deal with his ex, Michelle. Then the attention his online video had given him. It seemed like every woman in the US now considered him a challenge to conquer.
“Don’t worry about it.” He made eye contact with Mitch and mouthed “I’ve gotta go.” Then to Alana he said, “I’ll meet you at the fountain.”
He ended the call and let out the breath tightening his lungs. “I’m leaving.”
“What’s wrong?” Mitch asked. His eyes were still glazed from alcohol, his forehead creased in concern.
“They don’t know where Gabi is. I need to find her.”
“What do you mean, ‘they don’t know where she is’?” Ryan asked.
“She was upset or something. I don’t know the full story. She took off and won’t answer Alana’s calls.” He rubbed at his temples, trying to relieve the building pressure.
“What do you want us to do?”
Blake glanced over his shoulder, surprised to see concern in Mason’s eyes. “Nothin’.” He shook his head. “You guys continue without me. Hopefully I’ll find her on the way to the hotel.”
“No. I’m coming with you,” Mitch said, following along beside him.
Ryan began walking. “I’ll come too.”
“You’re not leaving me with Sean, so I’m tagging along,” Mason added. “We can change ten dollars for pennies along the way and wipe that challenge from the list. We’re running short on time.”
Blake ignored the conversation. He didn’t care what they did, or how many challenges they completed. All he cared about was Gabi. He pounded out the remaining steps to the street corner and turned onto the bustling South Las Vegas Boulevard. Mitch kept pace beside Blake as he scrolled through his phone and pressed on Gabi’s contact details. The phone rang, once, twice, each ring increasing the rampant beat of his heart.
“Fuck.” How was he going to find her in the Vegas crowd at night?
He tried again, hating the way Mitch watched him with concern. All it did was boost his own panic, and freaking out was the last thing he wanted to do.
Ring. Ring. Ring. No answer.
“We’ll catch up with you,” Mason spoke behind Blake.
Mitch turned. “Where are you going?”
“We’ll cut across the road to Excalibur and organize the pennies.”
“Fuck the pennies,” Mitch answered. “Forget the challenges. We’ve all had enough of it anyway.”
Mason clapped a hand on Mitch’s shoulder causing him to fumble backward. “Bro, I lost an eyebrow. I’m not giving up now. We’ll take one of the bodyguards, be in and out in two seconds, and catch up with you by the end of the block.”
Mitch glanced at Blake, his friend’s fake eyelashes fluttering amidst the horrific make-up. They were both thinking the same thing—Mason was going to freak when he found out the challenge for honeymoon rights were only created for Alana’s benefit.
Blake shook his head, silently instructing Mitch not to bring it up. They could deal with the explosion later. “I’ll be walking slowly to scan the crowd,” he told Mason. “Catch up when you can, and keep an eye out for Gabi.”
“Will do.” Mason turned, jerking his head at Ryan and Sean to follow, then began walking in the opposite direction.
Blake stepped back from the flow of foot traffic and tried calling Gabi again. This time it rang twice before the phone connected, and his stomach clenched in relief.
“Blake.”
His panic returned with her haunted tone. “Tell me where you are, angel, and I’ll come get you.”
She sniffed, and sucked in a ragged breath. Not even the heavy sound of people talking in the background disguised her crying. “I want to go home. I’m lost here. I’m confused. I need to leave.”
Home. The single word petrified him. He knew she didn’t mean their apartment in New York. He glanced at Mitch, unsure what the hell to do. What had Blake done to make her want to run away? “Come on, gorgeous, tell me where you are.”
Her choked inhale carried through the phone line. “No. Stay with Mitch and have fun. I’ve already ruined Alana’s night. I’ll be OK. I just need time alone.”
His heart stopped beating. He couldn’t give her what she needed. He had to be by her side and couldn’t fathom not running to her when she was upset. “Gabi, what’s going on? Everything was fine a week ago. Is this about Kate? She means nothing to me. I don’t want anyone else, you know that.”
“It wasn’t Kate. Or the thousands of other women vowing to take you away from me. But being drunk and emotional hasn’t made that any easier to ignore. I’m struggling, Blake. I’m drowning.”
“Angel, tell me where you are.” He was losing his mind. His palms were sweating, his heart beating in erratic pulses, his throat dry. Gabi was the strong one. He’d never had to be her savior before. “Please, you’re freaking me out. I need you to tell me where to find you.”
“I’m near the Bellagio fountain. I lost my keycard to the hotel suite.”
“Don’t move.” He broke out in a run, sliding past pedestrians, weaving in and out of the crowd. “I’m on my way.”
Gabi leaned against the waist-high cement fountain wall, keeping her head downcast so the hundreds of passing people didn’t pay her attention. She could’ve continued into the Bellagio and asked the receptionist for ano
ther room card, or gone back into the strip club with Alana, but talking to anyone was the last thing she wanted to do. Pretending her life was perfect wasn’t an option anymore.
She needed to go home, back to Australia, to crawl into her childhood bed and pretend the week from hell hadn’t happened. Yet in reality, leaving the man she loved was unthinkable. She only hoped Blake didn’t look at her differently once he heard her news.
“You scared the hell out of me.” His deep voice carried from in front of her, and she raised her gaze to meet his panicked raven stare. His chest heaved from exertion as he gripped her shoulders, dragging her into his body. She relaxed into him, resting her chin against his shoulder. Her eyes stung from unshed tears, and her chest grew heavy with sorrow. She ignored the unwanted emotions, clinging to the love in his embrace.
Mitch jogged into view, lowering a cell phone from his ear and placing it in his jacket pocket. Gabi frowned, blinking away the moisture in her vision while she tried to determine if the shadow from the lead guitarist’s baseball cap was making her hallucinate. “What happened to Mitch’s face?”
Blake’s grip relaxed around her waist, and he peered over his shoulder. “Beauty salon challenge. He’s covered in bridal make-up.”
Gabi wanted to laugh at the drag queen standing before her, yet all she mustered was a smile.
Mitch slowed to a walk, stopping a foot behind Blake. “You OK, Gab?” His eyes held sympathy she couldn’t handle. She turned her face away, nestling into Blake’s shoulder as she wrinkled her nose to stem the tears. As arrogant and flirtatious as the men of Reckless Beat were, nothing came before the women they cared about. Even the single men knew the importance of the females that had joined the family.
“Talk to me,” Blake spoke into her hair. “Tell me what’s going on, and I’ll fix it for you.”
She closed her eyes and hugged him tight, loving him so much more with every breath. But he couldn’t fix this. Nobody could.
“Can we go somewhere quieter?” she whispered.
“OK.” He reached for her hand and let his other arm fall. He turned to face Mitch, exposing her to the attention of Mason, Ryan, and their two bodyguards who jogged up to meet them.
“You didn’t have to take off without me,” Sean huffed, shuffling up behind the group with his pockets stretched and pants riding low. “I can’t run with this load full of shit in my pants.”
Gabi’s eyes widened, and a middle-aged woman strolling past paused with a gasp.
“Oh, come on, lady.” Sean scowled at the offended stranger. “I didn’t mean literally shit.”
The woman’s mouth gaped as she gave Sean a measured stare, and then continued to walk in a huff.
“Penny challenge,” Blake muttered.
It made her smile that Mitch had gone to so much effort to make the night enjoyable for Alana…even though Gabi had now ruined it.
“Everything all right?” Mason asked.
“Yeah,” Blake answered for her. “Gabi and I are going to find a quiet place to talk. We might catch up with you later.”
Mason nodded and Blake led her forward, strolling around the corner of the fountain and into the Bellagio parking lot. He remained silent as they weaved in and out of cars and finally slowed when they reached a small patch of trees and grass on the other side.
“Is this OK?” he asked. “We can go back to the suite if you prefer.”
“No.” She shook her head. She didn’t want to be suffocated by their hotel room. For the moment, she was happy to remain in the cool night air, even though the heavy bustle of traffic made it far from peaceful.
Blake leaned into one of the slim trees and reached for her hips, pulling her body into his. “Talk to me.”
Gabi glanced over her shoulder, needing a few more moments to gather her thoughts, and found the Reckless Beat men, their bodyguards, and now Leah and Alana standing on the other side of the parking lot, watching.
She let out a defeated sigh.
“They’re worried about you,” Blake murmured. “So am I.”
She lowered her gaze to Blake’s grey shirt and nodded. She appreciated the concern, loved the support they gave, yet nothing eased the weight on her chest. Nothing soothed the torment.
“Why do you want to leave me, angel?”
His heartfelt question was her undoing. She sniffed back the emotion drowning her from the inside out and sucked in a breath. “I could never leave you.”
“You said you wanted to go home.”
She shook her head. Blake was her home—her strength. She glanced up at him and swiped the tears now rushing down her cheeks with the back of her hand. His dark irises were filled with sorrow. He was hurting for her, and his compassion made her ache all the more.
“Blake…” Her bottom lip quavered.
He raised his hand, cupped her cheek and pleaded with his eyes for her to continue.
“I—” How did she tell him about the pregnancy? She didn’t know where to start. Couldn’t fathom how he would react. They hadn’t wanted a baby. Hadn’t even discussed children yet. And that was only the beginning.
With another deep breath, the words fell from her numb lips. “The day you left for Richmond was the first time I’d been alone since relocating here. Before that, things had been moving too fast. I’d become so caught up in loving you and readjusting to my new life that I lost track of myself.”
He frowned and tightened his hands around her hips. His strength borrowed under her skin, but didn’t reach her broken heart.
“I didn’t realize I was late.” She paused, letting the statement sink in. When his frown deepened she squeezed her eyes shut, hating that she had to spell it out. “I found out I was pregnant.”
“Gabi.”
She blinked at the breathy way he whispered her name and found his eyes alight with happiness, the corners of his lips tilting. Excitement emanated from him in gushing waves, drowning her, stealing her breath. She’d been happy when she found out, too. Happy, yet more scared than she’d ever been in her life.
“No.” She shook her head and winced at the pain that built in her chest. “Don’t.”
The cheer vanished from his features, and he reached for her hand, squeezing it between his. “Tell me.”
She tightened her grip on his fingers and stared at his hand, frowning at the black paint on his nails. Another result of the beauty salon, she assumed. “I searched the phone book and made some calls to get an appointment with a local doctor. I didn’t know who to pick and ended up going to a man willing to see me that day,” she continued, running the tips of her finger over his smooth nail polish. “He confirmed my assumptions. Even sent me for blood tests to determine how far along I was.”
The image of the doctor’s smile was still vivid in her mind. “Congratulations,” he’d said. “You’re going to be a mom.” The words had stopped her heart and made it swell, all in an instant.
Blake’s Adams apple bobbed with a deep swallow. “Go on,” he murmured.
She straightened her shoulders, and looked him in the eye. “Seven weeks pregnant.” The words restricted her throat. “Seven weeks, and I’d had no clue I’d been carrying our child.”
Blake’s gaze searched hers with confusion.
“Three days later the baby was gone. I had a miscarriage.”
His lips parted as his shoulders slumped. “Oh, angel.” He pulled her into his chest, surrounding her in the warmth of his arms, and held her tight. “I’m so sorry.”
She leaned into his strength and let the emotions she’d been holding in run free—the pain, the loneliness, the guilt, the heartache. It poured from her in chest-heaving sobs, her tears dampening his shirt, her hands running around his back to hold him close.
She hadn’t contemplated having a child, yet now that it was gone, she found it hard to breathe. In three days, she’d envisaged their entire future. The colors they would decorate the nursery. The sweet smell of a newborn. Their toddler’s first steps. Bright
smiles and warm cuddles. All of it came and went in the blink of an eye. And now all she had left was consuming grief.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked. “I would’ve come home. I would’ve been by your side as fast as the jet could get me back to you.”
She nodded, and sucked in a wavering breath. “I know. When I found out I was pregnant, I didn’t want to tell you over the phone. I wanted to see your face. I wasn’t entirely convinced you’d think it was good news.” She leaned back and studied his glazed eyes. “We haven’t spoken about children. I needed to witness your reaction. I needed to be sure you wouldn’t resent me.”
“I’d never resent you, angel.” He swept a hand through her hair, wiping away the stray strands that stuck to her cheeks. “I love you,” he murmured against her cheek. “I love you so much. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me.” He continued to bathe her in comforting words, hugging her until her sobs turned into whimpers and her whimpers faded into the night.
When she had the strength to meet his gaze again, his eyes were filled with pain. Guilt haunted her for putting it there. She’d wanted to keep the news to herself, at least until after the wedding. Mitch and Alana meant a lot to them both. Sharing this with them, when they were celebrating the start of their marriage, was a burden Gabi didn’t want to bear.
“Deep down, I knew that, but my mind hasn’t been rational lately. The doctor told me it was due to the hormonal changes in my body.” She nestled back into his chest, hiding her face from view. “And after the miscarriage, I feared you wouldn’t want me anymore.” Her eyes began to burn, and a fresh wash of tears trailed down her cheeks.
Not only had she lost their child, she’d been hysterical thinking she would lose Blake too. If he had his heart set on a large family, and her body couldn’t provide it, what use was she to him?
“What?” He grabbed her shoulders, softly pushing her back to meet his harsh features.
“I’m a wreck, Blake. What happens if I can’t carry a baby to term? You have women flocking after you, and you’d be stuck with someone who can’t give you children.”
