“What if I fall?”
“You will. A lot. But it’s worth it if this is something you want to do.”
“I do, more than anything.”
“Good. Then you will. Just don’t get discouraged if you don’t get it the first time. Trails tend to be a little tougher than the beginner’s slope.” I smiled at him. Maybe I needed to take my own advice. I’d been putting so much pressure on myself to be perfect the first few times back, and all it had done was put me into a deeper spiral.
He was silent for a moment, seeming to mull over my words. “Thanks,” he said, and then looked up at his dad. “I think I’m ready.”
His father nodded to me, and then Jeremy started down the mountain. The urge to ride down there with him, to make sure he was keeping his knees bent, to make sure he got down the mountain okay overtook me. I had to dig my fingers into the snow to remain seated. When he made it to the end of the run, he looked back up at me and gave a thumbs-up. I smiled and gave him one in return. That kid would be shredding down this mountain in no time.
I walked back to my board and strapped myself in. Time to take my own advice and stop being scared shitless. It would do nothing except stall the inevitable.
Snowboarding had been my life for so long, I didn’t know how I’d come to terms with it if I wasn’t able to continue on the team. It would probably feel similar to what my brother was dealing with, and yet he was back in the office now, like nothing had happened.
Just do it.
Overthinking wouldn’t get me anything but a frostbitten ass.
I stood and positioned my board. And then I was off. Carving left, then right. The wind streaked across my cheeks, and I readjusted my beanie as it rode up on my forehead. It was a perfect day on the mountain—completely sunny, no wind. I’d left my jacket in the truck and enjoyed the warm sun on my skin. Damn this felt good. Much better than a couple of weeks ago. Before I knew it, I was down the trail and cutting my board to a stop.
Hell yes.
Another lift up the mountain and I sped down the course, executing the basics—Butters, followed by an Air to Fakie, and a simple 50/50 grind. The tricks were simple, but my leg held up. My pulse hammered and my muscles ached, but I kept going, pushing, testing my limits. I amped up my music, taking run after run, my snowboard carving its signature into the snow. By the fifth time down the pass, I ruled out today’s success being a fluke.
I let out a loud whoop and people turned to watch. I didn’t care. Because I was back in the game. It was a small run, but I could feel it. I was back.
I pulled out my cell and dialed Andy’s number.
“Ryder, man. I wondered if I was ever going to hear from you again.”
“Sorry, Andy. Been a little preoccupied with my brother’s business.” And the fact that I was too chickenshit to call him back until I had a definitive answer for him. “I’m on the mountain right now.”
“And?” He trailed off, and the desperation rung clear in his voice.
“And I’ll be at spring training.” This was it—things were finally going to return to normal. My old life was on the horizon.
“That’s what I was calling about. It starts in one week. You’ll be able to make it?”
One week. Right when the resort project finished. When the TV show was scheduled to interview Zoey. She’d asked me to be there, too.
“I have a few things to check on first, but for right now count me in.”
This was it. My chance to get back out there. But this time around, leaving didn’t sound as exciting as it used to.
…
Zoey
Ryder: I have news!
Zoey: Use of an exclamation point? Must be something good.
Ryder: I’ll tell you tonight.
Zoey: You know I love cryptic messages.
Ryder: See you later, Flash. Hope you’re up for celebrating afterward.
Okay, I could deal with cryptic messages when it promised to include other things. I tossed my phone on the bed and went back to the task at hand—preparing for next weekend. I’d already picked out my makeup, and how I wanted to do my hair for the interview, so all I had left was my outfit.
“Green dress or black one?” I held both numbers up to Lainey.
“Dude. We’re just going out for drinks at Dean’s.”
“No, I mean for the TV show. There’s only one more week, and I want to make sure everything is perfect before they come.” The design went smoothly—only a few snafus with the orders and a minimal amount of water damage near the fireplace. Wrong throw pillows and a missing armoire. Irritating, but not the end of the world, and fixed quickly with a phone call. One more final tweak before the interview next Saturday, and I’d be set. Lance had even made a trip to Divinity and said this was my best design yet. I guess I had Ryder to thank for that, because the first design I’d given him paled in comparison to the end result.
“The green one will bring out the hazel in your eyes. The black one will bring out the sinister part of your soul. Which one do you feel like broadcasting on national television?”
Somehow unlocking the gates of hell wasn’t quite what I was going for. “Green it is.” I draped the dress over the back of my desk chair and shoved the black one back in my closet.
I took a deep, contented breath and closed my eyes. I’d reached a Disney character level of happiness. The bird chirping, magic carpet ride, bust out into song kind. All I needed was woodland creatures to do my dishes and wash my clothes, and this whole scenario would reach the pinnacle of perfection.
Between my career about to take off and things with Ryder working out, nothing short of a meteor crashing into the resort could ruin my good mood.
Ryder and Jason had been very accommodating, especially in regard to the interview. I’d been fielding droves of emails from magazine journalists wanting to feature the resort in their next issue. Even a snowboarding mag contacted us.
“You excited for next week?” Lainey asked, sitting on my bed, thumbing through a magazine.
“Of course. But what if I mess up and say something really stupid?”
“You hear what half the people on those shows say, right? Sometimes I don’t think they’re even speaking English.”
“I’m representing my firm, though. It’s different.”
“Zoey. If you can rap an entire Eminem song in front of a crowded bar without flubbing, I doubt you’ll have any issues with mixing up your words. Plus, I hear they can do retakes. So even if you do mess up, you can get another chance to be your lovely shining self.” She prodded me with the magazine.
Lainey was always right. And if anything, I could sneak in a few notecards in case I got tongue-tied. Ryder would be there, too.
I smiled again. Giving him a second chance to redeem himself was possibly the best decision I’d made all year.
I grabbed my jacket from under Lainey’s legs and shrugged it on. “Ready to head out?” I asked.
“Always.” She rolled off my bed, and we walked into the living room to grab our purses.
Twenty minutes later, we walked into Dean’s. It was packed, and like any other Friday night, people squeezed into every nook and cranny of the place. Brogan and Ryder were sitting in a corner booth, both sipping from tumblers. I scooted in next to Ryder as Lainey sat next to her boyfriend.
Boyfriend. I hadn’t really considered the word when it came to Ryder, but I guessed that was what he had become over the past few weeks. Maybe? I was never good at deciphering the label thing, but he was as close to a boyfriend as I’d had in over a year.
“So, tell me this news you were so cryptic about over the phone.” I quickly glanced to Lainey, who was practically in Brogan’s lap. Seriously, those two. I’d never seen two people more in love.
I turned back to Ryder, who had a smile splitting his face. “I went back on the mountain today,” he said.
“That’s great!” He had that glow about him, the same one he had when he taught me how to snowboard w
hen we started renovations on the place. “How did it go?” The last few times, he’d come back from the mountain in a piss-poor mood. This was an obvious improvement.
“My leg feels good. I think I’m ready to start back with the team. And my manager just called and said all of my sponsorships have been reinstated now that I’m back on the roster.”
“Amazing.” And it was. This was his dream, and he was making it happen, even after a devastating accident. I admired that perseverance. “When do you start?”
His teeth hooked over his bottom lip, and he took a deep breath. “That’s the thing. I’d start next week.”
Say what? I might have experienced a brain aneurism because I just heard him say “next week.” The week. “But that’s when the TV people are coming.”
He frowned. “I know. I figured I could leave after the interview, if that’s okay with you.”
Oh. This was all happening so fast. I’d expected him to go back on tour—I wasn’t delusional. But so soon? Was I a horrible person for wanting him to stay just a few more months, to live in this perfect bubble we’d created? I swallowed back the sudden lump in my throat. “Yeah, sounds good to me.”
“Where are you going first?” Brogan asked.
“We’ll start training on Mount Hood, so it’ll only be a few hours away. And then I think my manager has us booked to go back to Chile at the start of the summer. Then if I’m back to 100 percent, we’ll begin touring in the fall.”
I plastered on a smile. “Great.” My stomach bottomed out. This was all happening so fast. That was just…not enough time. The days we had left together were now on a ticking clock. I had so much I wanted to do with him—and what about the comedy show we’d just bought tickets to? My pulse throbbed in my temples, and I fought to keep my breathing level. “I’ll be right back. Need to make a trip to the ladies’ room.”
His brows furrowed. “Okay.”
I scooted out of the booth and booked it to the bathroom. Pushing through the door, I beelined for the sink, splashing water on my cheeks. I just needed to process this for a moment. It’d be stupid to assume he’d put his career on hold indefinitely. I’d never ask him to do that, or even expect that of him in a million years. But a week? The Disney chorus in my head came to a screeching halt. The Ghost of Christmas Future came barreling in, the one who promised lonely nights and an empty left side of the bed.
He had said he didn’t do relationships because he traveled all the time…and now he was about to get back into the swing of things. I grabbed a paper towel and blotted my face, working on keeping my composure. This was important to him, and I’d be a complete monster if I wasn’t 120 percent supportive. Even if the security of what we built was quickly crumbling like a lost game of Jenga.
A Tom Collins sat on a napkin in my spot when I returned to the table.
Lainey caught my eye as soon as I sat down. “Ryder was just telling us more about his good news.” Her eyes widened ever so slightly.
I gave her a tight smile. “Yes, it’s great.” I took a sip of my drink, letting it burn all the way down to my stomach. “So great.” Was I happy for him? Hell yes. But it didn’t mean I wanted him gone full-time. He’d become a fixture of my everyday life, from texts, to calls, to more. So much more.
Ryder put his arm around me and pulled me closer. “I’m ready for things to go back to normal.”
I took another sip of my drink.
I wasn’t ready. Not even a little bit.
By the time we got back to my apartment, I was in a particularly sour mood. I should have been happy for my boyfriend. He was getting his career back.
He stopped me in front of my door, stroking his hand down my arm. “Hey, you’ve been acting weird all night. What’s up?”
I shook my head, trying to brush off this gloom that hung over me like a cartoon rain cloud. “It’s nothing.” I fished for my keys. If I looked at him, he’d see I was lying.
“If it’s bothering you, it’s not nothing. C’mon, don’t shut down on me.”
“It’s just…when you go on tour, do you still want to give us a try?” I hated this, the in-between, the sharp sting of uncertainty. It reeked of weakness and vulnerability. Two things I prided myself on not having in my life.
He gripped my shoulders with both hands and looked at me with a sincerity that made my toes curl. “I’m not saying it’ll be perfect, but I’m willing to try. The distance thing didn’t work out before, but I think that’s because I wasn’t with you.”
“You mean that?”
He held his fingers up. “Two-day-Boy-Scout’s honor.”
I laughed into his chest. “How do you always know the right thing to say?”
“I’ve been wrong enough times that I’m bound to get lucky once in a while.” His thumb smoothed over my cheek, and I leaned into his touch, savoring his rough skin against mine. “And if it’s all right, I’d like to take you inside. I’ve been thinking about you all night.”
I nodded.
His lips were on mine. A blur of kisses, my hands in Ryder’s hair, and a frantic search for the keys quickly ensued. He broke the kiss and growled, digging into my bag. “Seriously, how do you find anything in this Mary Poppins purse?”
“Magic.”
He groaned, smiling against my mouth. “I’m going to miss your cute jokes. Promise to text me at least one a day, so I don’t miss out?”
“Promise.”
After unearthing the keys, Ryder swung the door open and pulled me to him, my legs wrapping around his waist. My fingers tangled in his thick hair again, and he let out a shuddering breath.
“I’m sorry for getting weird tonight.”
He pulled back, his blue eyes searching mine. It used to unsettle me, to know that he saw so much. Now it was a comfort, to know he understood, he got the real me, the one that was sometimes too chicken to say something. “You never need to apologize for how you feel. I just want to make sure we’re on the same page now.”
“We are.”
I moved in to the curve of his neck, kissing, taking small nips at his skin. His taste, his smell, his touch—it all called to me on some deep level I never knew existed within me. How had this man, who’d driven me up a wall for months, managed to get under my skin this way?
“What did I do to deserve you? I was such an idiot the first time around.”
I traced my thumb over his jaw, and he closed his eyes, practically putty in my hands. “Yes, you were. And you can’t say stuff like that,” I said.
“I thought we were being upfront and honest.”
“We are, but you’re supposed to make me angry, not sweep me off my damn feet.”
“You mean like right now? Because I have to say, I really like your legs wrapped around me.” He grinned.
I laughed and swatted at his back. “You know what I mean.”
He looked at me, such intensity in his eyes. In fact, I’d never seen him so serious before. This man who could have his pick of women was now looking at me with laser focus. “I’m falling for you, Zoey.”
“I’m falling for you, too,” I admitted. Maybe I had been for a long time. I kissed him harder, pouring every emotion that had built up for the past several weeks into my lips, my tongue, trying to convey just how much he meant to me.
He carried me to the bedroom and lay me down on the bed.
“May I?” His fingers traced the buttons of my blouse and along my collarbone, sending goose bumps rippling across my skin.
I propped myself up on my elbows. “Yes.”
He unbuttoned each one at an excruciatingly slow rate. But that was Ryder. He liked to take his time. He was methodical, driven, unrelenting.
“You know what would make this moment perfect?” he said.
“What?”
“If you were wearing your Flash underwear.”
I smacked him on his chest.
“Hey, I’m only human. And had an extensive comic book collection as a kid.”
His head d
ipped down, and his lips connected with my skin, lighting a fire in their path. “I want to savor every inch of your body. Every freckle. Every dip. Every swell. When I met you, I knew you’d be different. You make me different.”
And that was how I felt about Ryder. I didn’t want to have to rely on my planner to get me through life. He brought out a spontaneous side of me. One that took a big gamble on my designs…and almost burned down my kitchen. But it was worth it. He taught me that life shouldn’t be lived by a script. It was okay to break my rules every once in a while.
My hands smoothed under his shirt and ran up the ridges of bunched muscles of his back. He sat up and pulled his shirt over his head, and I took a moment to really let it sink in—the veins cording up his arms, the expanse of his chest, the tapering of his waist. He may have been hard as friggin’ granite on the outside, but he had an ooey-gooey center that melted me into a puddle of feels.
I sat up as he removed my shirt then sank back down against my pillow as he undid the button of my skirt. I lifted off the bed as he worked that down my legs. He continued kissing down my body, heat blooming between my legs. I let out a shaky breath as he grabbed a condom from his pants and then removed them, the belt clinking against my wooden floor.
He made his way back onto the bed and hovered over me. “Flash?” he said, his voice strained.
“Yeah?”
The muscle in his jaw clenched as he regarded me. “I’m more than falling for you. I hope you know that.”
“Same.”
And with that, he sunk into me. I let out a deep shuddering breath as he filled me. When it came to this, I’d never felt this level of connection.
My legs wrapped around his waist as he picked up the pace, his chest brushing against mine, our stomachs grazing. He stilled a moment and looked down at me.
“What?”
“I’ll always be yours, no matter how far away I am.”
I threaded my fingers through his hair and pulled him down to me. Did he feel that? I’d just given him a piece of my heart, something I’d never be able to get back. And I trusted him not to break me into a million pieces.
The Rule Maker (Rule Breakers) Page 18
