He loved her. He didn’t know why. There was no reason if he would look for that. But he didn’t have time. He had to buy roses and talk to her and to make plans to impress her more. That was the usual trick for the unusual girl. He didn’t know though about her unusual angle. There had to be some if she was so attractive to him. He was sure about that. Neel was sure that Reena was made for him and that he just had to prove himself and for this proving he is ready to go to anywhere and to cross all the limits of mental and physical world. There was nothing more he could do except everything that he was trying. And there was no other way except all the ways that were possible.
This wasn’t love for him. It was something else more than love and lust. It was more than madness and passion. The thing that had completely taken over his life in the past few years was an ordinary looking girl who worked in a cloth shop.
He saw her in the hospital where he went due to the after-effects of a gas which had been leaked in the school chemistry lab. He saw her while returning and since then his love was growing like algae days and nights.
Neel drew her face on everything that he found worth drawing on. Even his own hands and legs. He tattooed her name on his palm and started calling every girl by her name to prove his unfortunate fidelity and to show his love. He wrote countless poems and songs to give her the appreciation, she deserved. He tried to call her 50 times a day until social obligation and her anger stopped him from doing so. He could be seen waiting by the window of his room, waiting for the only love of his life to notice him just once. It could make his entire day worthwhile. She did sometimes but with pitiful and hating eyes.
He was good-looking (so much that the girl was a mismatch for him) too and he had the ability to feed a family but that wasn’t the problem. Problem was his love.
No one on this world could bear such intense and tight emotion. His octopus love was just making her scared. He loved every drop and hair of her body. He could talk and see her all the time without getting tired. So much that it didn’t seemed like love. It was something else. She couldn’t handle him. This was too much emotional dependence to endure. Reena tried once and she was so happy on her beautiful fate of finding such a great lover. But it was much greater than she expected and desired.
Neel scared her by beating a boy who was looking at her for more than four seconds. Next time Neel gifted her diamond ring bought from the money of his father's stolen car.
Reena tried to slow him down and in answer he forcefully took her to his house and locked her in his room for a whole day until neighbors came home after listening to her shrieking and shouting. That was the end of their relationship but he wasn’t ready to let her go. No chance.
He still called her everyday and was following her everywhere. Neel cried numerous times in front of her even begged her and requested. All the things he could to get her back. Nothing seemed to be working. He threatened her and scared her more. He hit her sometimes. He hurt himself by writing her name on his chest with a blade. It was old Indian trick that wasn’t appropriate for this situation. It was shown in a hindi movie too but to terrify the audience instead. Neel requested her father and mother to favor him with their girl. He convinced his parents too and tried to use the old arrange marriage trick which was still the most famous way to marry the girl of choice in country. If only life is this easy.
His mother went to the neighbor’s house but to warn them to keep their daughter in limits and to bash Reena for using black magic to seduce her son. It cut out all the chances of make-up.
He developed an imaginary perfect world where he was living with Reena and their children and a nice house. Where he could touch, feel and love her anytime he wanted to without asking for anyone's permission. Where she was only for him and they were the only motive of each-other's life. Where he could bring the vegetables at evenings and Reena waited for his arrival. It was necessary to create all this Air-castles or his feelings for her would have thrown him into irreversible madness. He knew that it wasn’t real in his heart but it was keeping him alive. It was purposeful.
One day a man came to her house who introduced him as a biologist working for government. He asked for a few minutes of Neel. Neel didn’t want to be disturbed but he stepped out of his world when the man told him that it was very urgent and could help him with Reena. How could neel let him wait now? In two seconds that man had all the attention Neel could gather. Man knew everything about Neel and according to him it all was related with the accident that had happened to Neel when he was in school. Though, Neel knew that but he wasn’t ready to believe it. It was his whole sence of self and the whole sole purpose of his life, love for that girl. How could he trust that a gas caused it all.
He told the man politely to leave his room at once and that he never wanted to see him again. His life was one and only Reena. Accident or no accident. Together or not together. Peacefully or violently. Smooth or rough. Even if she didn’t love him or like him back. Even if she hated him. It wasn’t about her. It was about him. She was something to achieve. Like a prize or job. He wanted her so bad and he would get her, that he knew. Simple. Even if he got to write poems for that or threaten her. She had no chance in the world to escape him. She and he and he and she and he. That was it.
Kamal
Batch of 1999 Page 15
