by Katee Robert
Charlie knew better than to dwell on what-if. What-if didn’t matter. What could have happened was irrelevant. What did happen was all that mattered. At least in theory.
The truth was that she kept replaying the drive-by and counting down the seconds from when Keira ran into the room until the bullets pierced the glass in the same spot they’d been sitting. Thirty, maybe thirty-five. Not even a full minute’s difference between life and death.
You’re okay. You’re all okay. That’s all that matters.
It didn’t seem like it. She should have known there was danger. Hadn’t she just told Aiden that very thing last night? And then she just waltzed out to lunch and picked a table near a window, as if that danger was all in her head. Stupid. Very, very stupid.
“Charlie.” Aiden sat next to her on the bed, a washcloth in his hands. He tipped her chin up and slowly ran it over her face. “Talk to me.”
Words bubbled up, pressing against the back of her lips, despite the fact that she wasn’t usually a sharer. Apparently, two years out of commission was all it took for that hard-won training to disappear like it’d never existed. “It was close. Too close. If Keira hadn’t come back when she did …” She shuddered. “I’m sorry. I’m not usually such a basket case.”
He didn’t speak until he’d finished with her face and moved on to her shoulders. “Lift your arms.” He carefully maneuvered her T-shirt off and threw it in the trash can next to the dresser. “It’s okay to be shaken up. I’m shaken up. When I saw you in that car, covered in blood”—his hand hitched and then resumed its path along her collarbone—“that scared the shit out of me.”
Strangely enough, his admission of fear calmed her. She covered his hand with hers, fighting not to flinch at the pain that shot through her arm. “I’m okay. I’ve said it, and I’ll keep saying it until we both believe it.”
Aiden’s green eyes still showed concern as he cupped her face with one hand. “You’re alive. You’re safe now.” He kissed her lightly. “I’ll keep you safe.”
When this man said it, she actually believed him. It was dangerous in a way she wasn’t prepared to combat. Charlie needed to be sharp and at the top of her game, and she couldn’t do that while standing in Aiden’s shadow as he took on the role of protector for her the same way he’d done for everyone else around him—whether they wanted it or not. That wasn’t what she’d signed up for, and that wasn’t what he needed her to do.
But maybe it would be okay to allow … just for tonight.
He let his hand drop and stood. “You’re going to want long sleeves so you don’t pull at the bandages.”
“Okay.” She was more than capable of dressing herself, but if she was going to let him take care of her for tonight, that meant she had to relax enough that she wouldn’t fight him every step of the way.
It seemed to make him feel better to fuss—and it did make her feel safe, as he’d promised—so she sat there while he found a loose shirt and a pair of sweats—both his—from his dresser. It brought her back to when they’d had sex while she was wearing his shirt and how hot that had made them both. Despite everything that had just happened, her body responded, her thighs clenching and her nipples pebbling.
Aiden turned around and stopped short, his gaze narrowing on her face and then sweeping over her, lingering on her breasts—her nipples easily visible through the lace of her bra—and her thighs pressed together. “Bright eyes …”
“I know.” She stood and crossed to him. “It would make me feel really safe if you’d touch me.” Charlie went up on her tiptoes and kissed him.
“You’re hurt.”
“I didn’t even need stitches.” It had been a close thing, though. She had butterfly bandages on a few of the cuts, but even if they were actual stitches, that wouldn’t be enough to keep her from wanting him. “I need you.”
She didn’t know if there was a single threat under the sun that could keep her from wanting Aiden.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
You will, no matter what you do. She didn’t say it, just like she didn’t say so many things when they were together. All it would do would be to fast-track her heartache. Better to enjoy the time they had to the fullest, and worry about the future when it punched her in the face. “Then be gentle if it will make you feel better.”
He inched one eyebrow up. “If it will make me feel better? You’re being rather accommodating.”
Despite everything, she smiled. “Considering I’m about to take advantage of you, yes, I am. Now strip.”
“That’s my line.”
“Then say it.” She sat up, careful to keep her expression pain-free, and reached behind her back to undo her bra. It hit the floor, closely followed by her panties. “Oops. Too late.”
The worry disappeared from his face, leaving heat in its wake. “Damn it, bright eyes, you’re making it hard to do right by you.”
That was the thing. She didn’t want him to do right by her. Her definition of what that entailed and his differed greatly, and she wasn’t about to give him reason to cut her free any sooner than absolutely necessary. “Then just do me.”
Aiden barked out a laugh. “Do you? For Christ’s sake, Charlie, where do you come up with this shit?”
He was trying to get the control to talk her out of it. She could see it on his face. Aiden wanted to take care of her, and as attractive as she found the prospect, if she let him steamroll her right now, she knew he’d try to keep her out of things in the future in order to keep her safe. Like hell was she going to let him.
Charlie gave him a sweet smile. “That’s okay. You don’t have to do me.”
“Now that we’ve got that—”
“I’ll just do myself.” She climbed further onto the bed, knowing damn well that he was watching every move she made, and that his eyes were glued to her ass. She rolled onto her back and ran her hands over her breasts. “Mmm.”
A muscle in his jaw jumped. “You’re playing with fire.”’
In more ways than one. “No, I’m playing with myself.” She slipped a hand between her thighs and stroked her clit. She wasn’t quite primed yet, but it wouldn’t take long with his stare heating her skin. She watched him through half-closed eyes. He looks like he wants to fuck me into submission. He had his arms crossed tightly, as if clinging to the last shreds of his control. We’ll have to do something about that. If he was willing to let himself off the leash now, when she was at her weakest, then he’d be more willing to trust her to do what needed to be done when the time came.
She just needed to push him over the edge and into a free fall.
She spread her legs wider and circled a finger around her opening. It felt good, so she did it again, letting loose a breathless little moan.
The only warning she got was the slightest dip in the mattress, and then Aiden was on top of her. “Goddamn it, bright eyes.” He kissed her, thrusting his tongue into her mouth. She tangled her tongue with his, but he didn’t give her a chance to sink into the sensation. Aiden pushed himself up onto his hands, his green eyes thunderous. “Arms above your head.”
She considered arguing, but she was getting what she wanted. Charlie reached up to grab the headboard with a laugh. “Okay.”
He didn’t look amused. “I refuse to fucking hurt you, so you will keep your damn hands there until we’re through. Understand?”
“I understand.”
“Good.” He reached between her legs, picking up where she left off. There was no teasing tonight, no playing with her until she begged for him. Aiden had her barreling toward an orgasm with the speed of a freight train, driven by something she didn’t have a name for. She came between one breath and the next, her back bowing, a small helpless sound escaping her mouth.
He shifted enough to dig through the nightstand for a condom. As he rolled it on, he looked like a man possessed. Maybe he was as desperate to escape what-if as she was. She hadn’t died. She was okay. She was safe. But they both needed the phy
sical connection of sex to prove it.
He speared her with his fingers once, twice, a third time. And then his cock was pushing into her, filling her completely. She wrapped her legs around his waist, holding him in the only way he’d allow right now, while he thrust into her and wedged one arm beneath her hips to force them closer yet. He slid the other arm up her spine to cup the back of her neck. “Don’t ever do anything like that again.”
She kissed him because she understood what he meant—she’d felt the same thing less than twenty-four hours ago. He met her with tongue and teeth, driving into her even as he plundered her mouth. Like he couldn’t get enough. Like maybe he’d never get enough.
Charlie already knew that Aiden O’Malley had ruined her, but the moment he came, with her name on his lips, she could have cried. She blinked back the threat of tears, determined not to show how affected she was. No matter what he said, no matter how good it was between them, they had an expiration date. She held him, shaking now from her own orgasm, and murmured, “I’m okay. It’s okay.” Over and over again.
Finally, Aiden lifted his head and pressed a devastatingly sweet kiss on her lips. He didn’t say anything, but there was nothing more to say. They were alive. They’d made it another day. They would continue to move forward with their plan, because they had no other options.
Charlie’s heart gave a painful lurch. The end was in sight. It might not be today, or tomorrow, or even next week, but the writing was on the wall.
She and Aiden wouldn’t last the month.
For better or worse, it would be over by then.
* * *
Aiden stared down at the two dead men. Ben and Donovan. Both had worked for the family for years, and they’d deserved better than to be gunned down in the street. He was ashamed that he didn’t know more about them than their names. He didn’t know if they’d left families behind. Partners. Children. Fucking pets.
Liam stepped up to stand at his shoulder. As always, he knew what Aiden was thinking. “They were both single. They both were loyal, and you treated them both with respect. This isn’t the way that I would have chosen for their lives to end, but it’s not as bad as it could be.”
That didn’t make him feel better. He didn’t think it made Liam feel better, either. Aiden stepped back from the bodies and rubbed a hand over his face. “What the fuck are we doing?”
“This is the price sometimes.”
But what was the gain? Power? They had a shit-ton. Money? More than he could spend in a lifetime. All they did was breed enemies and get people they cared about killed. Maybe it was the last couple years taking their toll, but he wasn’t sure if he saw the point anymore.
He couldn’t do anything about that. He couldn’t even fucking say that. There was no one else, and the problem that Romanov presented—taking him out would open the door for someone even bigger and badder—also applied to the O’Malleys. If they suddenly were to step back and go legit, it was all but guaranteed that the next power player to move into their position would be even more a monster than Aiden felt like.
It was equally likely that whoever that player was would come after them, if only to ensure that they wouldn’t try to get back into the game.
No, there were no other options but to continue forward, bearing the price and doing whatever it took to guarantee that they stayed in power—stayed as safe as anyone could be in this life.
He turned away from the dead men. “This doesn’t read like Romanov.” As much as he’d like to lay the whole damn problem at the Russian’s feet, it didn’t line up.
“No, it doesn’t.” Liam fell into step next to him as they walked up the stairs to the garage. “How sure are you of the Eldridges?”
“Not sure enough.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Fuck, this is my fault, isn’t it?” He should have just left well enough alone, or gone after Romanov himself instead of putting together a plan that involved far too many wild cards. He couldn’t control Alethea. That was abundantly clear.
“You didn’t order a hit on your woman and sisters.” Liam shook his head. “Don’t go taking this on, too. You know damn well that we can’t predict every move every enemy will make.”
He did know that. It didn’t make it any easier to bear. “I should have known she’d go after the women.” That was what bothered him the most about the situation. There was a time when even the most twisted of enemies would hesitate to strike out against the women and children of a family, but it appeared they were long past it. If he was being honest, they’d been past it for a very long time now.
But Alethea was a woman. She wouldn’t have that same code.
Aiden stepped forward to grab the door and open it. “I would have predicted that she’d at least have waited until she took out Romanov to start looking to remove the other competition.”
A mistake they’d both made. Maybe if he’d consulted with Carrigan, she would have had better insight on the way Alethea’s mind worked. But he hadn’t.
Something else I needed to change … and now have an opportunity to do so because of Charlie.
“The question is how you’re going to respond.” He followed Liam out into the night. They climbed a second set of stairs to the porch situated at the back of the house. Most of the family ignored it, preferring to either be inside or completely out of the house, but he and Liam had spent quite a few evenings out here, sharing a beer and just sitting in silence.
Silence wasn’t an option tonight. They needed a plan for moving forward. “What’s my father been up to today?” He hadn’t seen much of Seamus, which wasn’t comforting in the least. The man was up to something, and hell if he could figure out what it was.
Everyone in his fucking family seemed to be up to something these days.
“He’s been in meetings with the gunrunners. I don’t know where he’s planning on sending the shipment he’s currently negotiating.”
“Find out.” He needed to cut that shit off at the knees. Aiden hadn’t really expected his father to back off just because they’d exchanged words, but it appeared Seamus was more than happy to use his current distraction to undermine him. He couldn’t allow it to happen, no matter what else was going on.
They were only as strong as their foundation, and infighting would weaken the family at a time when they needed their strength the most.
“We need proof that it was the Eldridges. Once we have that, I’ll make my move.” He just needed to figure out what his move was going to be. He stood before an impossible choice. If he didn’t strike back after an attack like that, it would be a weakness his enemies would want to exploit. If he did, he ran the risk of screwing up his plans.
His original plan to set the Eldridges on Romanov and Romanov on the Eldridges was all well and good, but he couldn’t allow Romanov to fight his battles.
Or James Halloran, for that matter.
Fuck.
He pulled out his phone, cursing himself for not thinking of it sooner, and dialed James. He had the man’s number out of sheer necessity, though he hadn’t had cause to use it up to this point. It rang until he was sure it would click over to voicemail, and then a surly voice answered. “What do you want?”
There was no reason to mince words. James wouldn’t take it well if he tried to manipulate him. His only option was blunt honesty. “That attack was against Charlie and Keira, not Carrigan. I want you to stay out of it.”
“Too fucking bad. She has three sets of stitches and she’s cut all to hell. If your woman hadn’t reacted when she did, Carrigan would be dead. So don’t try to start a pissing contest with me, Aiden. You know who’s responsible? You had better fucking tell me, or you will be next on my list.”
He closed his eyes, praying for patience. “I’m glad my sister is okay. But her being there changes nothing.”
“What would you do in my position?”
He wanted to lie, to tell whatever convenient truth he could come up with to get James to stay out of it. He couldn’t. “I
’d do exactly what I’m planning on doing and make an example of this piece of shit so that no one comes gunning for my fiancée or my sisters again.”
“Exactly.” James hesitated and then grudgingly said, “I’m willing to hold off and work together since our purposes line up. That’s as far as you can push it. Don’t fucking cut me out of this.”
Fuck. He considered his options. There really weren’t any. James would move forward on his own if he didn’t agree to these terms, and they’d likely be stumbling over each other in their effort to get to the Eldridges—or whoever was responsible—which would weaken them both. “Fine. Don’t move until I contact you.”
“Your sister wants you at that fundraiser tomorrow night. Don’t fuck this up, Aiden. You keep saying that you’re not your old man—now’s the time to prove it.”
He’d totally forgotten Carrigan’s comment about the fundraiser. It couldn’t be worse timing. He opened his mouth to say exactly that, but the image of Charlie’s face imprinted itself on the back of his eyelids. A chance to fix things. “We’ll be there.”
“Good.” James hung up.
“That went well.”
Liam snorted. “It sounds like it. Can you blame him?”
“No, but the situation just gets more twisted the further into it we are. The last thing we need is more complications.” The words were barely out of his mouth when his phone started ringing. He stared at it. “Check the porch for bugs. Now.”
As Liam moved to obey, he answered. “It’s awful late for a chat, Dmitri.”
“And yet you’re awake.”
He stood and stalked around the perimeter of the porch. “Our next meeting isn’t for several days. Why are you calling?”
“You know why.”
Yeah, he did. “If you had a warning about the attack, you should have warned me instead of Keira.”
“That unnecessary step would have wasted time the women didn’t have.”
He couldn’t argue that point, no matter how much he wanted to. It was entirely too easy to lay every single sin he could think of at Romanov’s feet, but the unfortunate truth was that the man had moved to protect Keira in the most efficient way possible. “There had to be a better way.” A way that didn’t include Charlie and Carrigan getting cut all to hell as bullets whizzed over their heads.
